Have scissors. Will hire someone to use them.
Monday, May 31, 2004
Friday, May 28, 2004
If we lived in the real world...
The real world- the world in which, by virtue of the miracle of modern marketing, George W. Bush would never be pResident.
If we lived in the real world, the following would be plausible:
In the 1960’s, two brothers, Jeb and George, work on a Texas ranch owned by a rich friend of the family.
The ranch owner needs a new bull so he gives Jeb $600 to purchase a bull. Jeb tells George, "There's a bull for sale at this farmer's ranch a several hours away. When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll send you a telegram so you know that you can drive out and haul it back."
Jeb arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides he wants to buy it. The man tells him that he will sell it for $599, no less.
After paying him, he drives to the nearest town to send George a telegram to tell him the news. He walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my brother telling him that I've bought a bull for the ranch we work for. I need him to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it back to the ranch."
The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help him, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."
Well, after paying for the bull, Jeb only has $1 left. He realizes that he'll only be able to send George one word. After thinking for a few minutes, he nods, and says, "I want you to send him the word "comfortable".
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is he ever going to know that you want him to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out her to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send him the word, "comfortable?'"
Jeb explains, "My brother's not that smart. The word's big. He'll read it slow."
Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
George W. opens the telegram and reads confidently, "come-for-da-bull."
Hell No! My Child Won't Go!
Pending Draft Legislation Targeted for Spring 2005
The Draft will Start in June 2005
There is pending legislation in the House and Senate (twin bills: S 89 and HR 163) which will time the program's initiation so the draft can begin at early as Spring 2005 -- just after the 2004 presidential election. The administration is quietly trying to get these bills passed now, while the public's attention is on the elections, so our action on this is needed immediately.
$28 million has been added to the 2004 Selective Service System (SSS) budget to prepare for a military draft that could start as early as June 15, 2005. Selective Service must report to Bush on March 31, 2005 that the system, which has lain dormant for decades, is ready for activation. Please see website: www.sss.gov/perfplan_fy2004.html to view the sss annual performance plan - fiscal year 2004.
The pentagon has quietly begun a public campaign to fill all 10,350 draft board positions and 11,070 appeals board slots nationwide.. Though this is an unpopular election year topic, military experts and influential members of congress are suggesting that if Rumsfeld's prediction of a "long, hard slog" in Iraq and Afghanistan [and a permanent state of war on "terrorism"] proves accurate, the U.S. may have no choice but to draft.
Congress brought twin bills, S. 89 and HR 163 forward this year, http://www.hslda.org/legislation/na...s89/default.asp entitled the Universal National Service Act of 2003, "to provide for the common defense by requiring that all young persons [age 18--26] in the United States, including women, perform a period of military service or a period of civilian service in furtherance of the national defense and homeland security, and for other purposes." These active bills currently sit in the committee on armed services.
Dodging the draft will be more difficult than those from the Vietnam era.
Even those voters who currently support US actions abroad may still object to this move, knowing their own children or grandchildren will not have a say about whether to fight. Not that it should make a difference, but this plan, among other things, eliminates higher education as a shelter and includes women in the draft.
The logic of BushCo
Q Scott, back on terror for a second. Has the President been advised that al Qaeda operatives are actually within the borders of the United States plotting attacks?
MR. McCLELLAN: Well, we receive, as I pointed out, a constant stream of intelligence reporting, and the recent intelligence reporting has pointed to the possibility of attacks during the time period I mentioned. In terms of the possibility of terrorists being here in the United States, we have to work under the assumption that there are terrorists here. And the intelligence reporting we have seen from time to time indicates that there may well be people in place ready to carry out attacks. But we do not have specific information about the timing, or target, or nature of those attacks.
Q Is there anything more concrete than an assumption or a belief that they may actually be in this country?
MR. McCLELLAN: Well, there are individuals that were al Qaeda operatives that we've apprehended in the past. And certainly, before the September 11th attacks, there was an al Qaeda cell in the United States plotting to carry out that attack. And we know the terrorists continue to want to harm America, or harm American citizens abroad, and that is why we have to work under the assumption that there are operatives here in the United States wanting to carry out attacks.
Q But you have nothing definitive that there actually is a cell that you may have identified?
Link to WH Press Briefing
1. We know that terrorists have entered the country in the past.
We know that we can't possibly prevent all potential terrorists from entering the country in the future.
Therefore, we can't say without a doubt that there aren't terrorists currently in the country.
If the above statements were true yesterday, it means that there must be terrorists in the country today.
2. "Terrorists hate us for our freedoms."
Terrorists hate us so much that they want to attack us.
Attacking us takes planning.
3. Terrorists attacked Madrid just before their election.
We have a presidential election soon.
A terrorist attack would disrupt our election.
and they are planning an attack
to disrupt our presidential election!
Thursday, May 27, 2004
What is wrong with this guy?
This guy is being impeached for serious reasons (not just sex), for crying out loud, and he's acting like a complete snot!
Connecticut Governor Sues to Block Testimony Before Impeachment Committee
By John Christoffersen Associated Press Writer
Published: May 27, 2004
HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) - Gov. John G. Rowland asked a court Thursday to block what he called an unprecedented and unconstitutional subpoena ordering him to testify before a legislative committee weighing his impeachment.
Ross Garber, Rowland's chief legal counsel, said the subpoena "tramples on the mandate of the balance of separation of powers."
The House Select Committee of Inquiry had ordered Rowland to appear June 8. In the past, Connecticut governors have only appeared before lawmakers voluntarily, Garber said.
Take a hint, John!
The people in your state don't want you to go away mad, John.
They just want you to go away.
Checking off those last minute items on his Things To Do Before I Croak list must be tiring.
Pope condemns torture as affront to human dignity
May. 27, 2004 08:20 AM
VATICAN CITY - Pope John Paul II condemned torture Thursday as an intolerable affront to human dignity, lamenting that reports of abuses "constantly arrive from all continents."
The pope made no mention of any countries or specific cases in his speech to seven new ambassadors to the Holy See.
On June 4, John Paul is scheduled to meet with President Bush, whose administration is under heavy criticism for the abuse of Iraqi prisoners by the US military at Abu Ghraib prison. Several Vatican cardinals have already assailed the abuse.
But for torture the Pope wouldn't have a job.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!
But for torture they wouldn't have jobs, either.
Remember Cardinal Law?
The Boston archbishop who had to resign because of the massive church sex scandal cover up?
Vatican Appoints Former Boston Archbishop to Be Head of a Rome Basilica
The Associated Press
Published: May 27, 2004
VATICAN CITY (AP) - Pope John Paul II on Thursday gave Cardinal Bernard Law an official position in Rome, naming the former Boston archbishop who resigned in the sex abuse scandal as head of a basilica.
Law, 72, will have the title archpriest of St. Mary Major Basilica, a largely ceremonial post often given to retired prelates.
He resigned on Dec. 13, 2002, to quell an outcry over his handling of sex abuse cases involving clergy.
Wait! There's more!
This papal appointment is significant because St. Mary Major Basilica is, itself, significant.
St. Mary Major is the greatest of many churches dedicated to Our Lady; it is the only Roman basilica which, in spite of several additional decorations, has retained its original shape. It was built, as the legend goes, in 352 B.C. after an appearance of the Blessed Virgin. The basilica, also called "Liberiana", dates from the time of Pope Sixtus III(432-440).
The Mouth Of Truth is there.
Popes are buried there.
But there's even more!
The crib of the baby Jesus Is under the altar! (And all is well on Planet Oh Right Sure!)
St. Mary Major was the site of Ignatius' first Mass, which he waited one year after being ordained a priest to celebrate. He had always had a strong devotion to the Nativity of Christ and hoped to offer his first Mass in Bethlehem at the Church of the Nativity. After circumstances made it impossible for Ignatius and the companions to travel from Venice, where Ignatius was ordained, to Jerusalem, they came to Rome.
Ignatius chose St. Mary Major for his first mass because it housed the relic of the Crib, from the birth of Jesus. The relic (now under the High Altar), used to be kept in the crypt of the Blessed Sacrament Chapel called the "Sistine Chapel" from the name of its donor, Pope Sixtus V. In the crypt Father Ignatius said his first Mass, "with great feeling and divine enlightenment," on Christmas Day of 1538.
I'd like to know how you justify putting a child sex abuse scandal guy in charge of Baby Jesus' crib.
I just don't get it.
The Fort Worth Startle Gram (what we Cowtown natives call the Star Telegram) reports that the Unitarian Church of Deniison, TX, is, after all, an actual church and, therefore, deserving of tax-exempt status.
Denison church's tax-exempt status granted
By Jay Root
Star-Telegram Austin Bureau
AUSTIN _ Reversing an earlier decision, state Comptroller Carole Keeton Strayhorn announced Monday that a Unitarian church in Denison would get its tax-exempt status after all.
The decision came after the Star-Telegram reported on May 18 that the comptroller's office had ruled the Red River Unitarian Universalist Church was not a religious organization for tax purposes.
The status was denied, the state said, because the church "does not have one system of belief."
Stunned church officials said it was the first time in U.S. history that any state had denied tax exempt status to the Unitarians because of their religious philosophy. Father-and-son presidents John Adams and John Quincy Adams are among past adherents of the Unitarian church.
"She's either abysmally ignorant of the law or a religious bigot," said Robert London, spokesman for Americans United for Separation of Church and State in Washington, D.C. "She's acting like a grand inquisitor in deciding what should be a religion."
Jesse Ancira, general counsel for the comptroller's office, said Strayhorn is no bigot and isn't prejudiced toward any religion. He said that other Unitarian Universalist church groups have been granted tax exemptions but that each case is evaluated separately.
"In this case, we didn't think they met the test of religious worship," he said this week. "We know they have a common belief in moral and ethical principles, but there is no one statement of faith. It's a free and open belief in several religions, including those that believe in a higher power."
Carole Keeton Strayhorn (f/k/a Carole Keeton Rylander, f/k/a Carole Keeton McClellan, f/k/a Carole Keeton) is the daughter of W. Page Keeton, former dean of the University of Texas Law School, who was co-author of the most widely-used treatise on tort law, Prosser & Keeton on Torts.
Perhaps Ms. Keeton McClellan Rylander Strayhorn (a name most true believers would cite while stoning her to death at the well!) needs a history lesson:
the Unitarian Church was in fact founded in 1567 in Koloszvar, Translvania. Over the centuries, borders have shifted over this town and back. When it has been Hungarian, the name is as above; when Austrian, it is called Klaussenberg; and when Romanian, Cluj.
Here'a clue for you, Carole:
The First Unitarian Church of Baltimore was established in 1817.
In 1967 the Unitarian Universalist Association, and Unitarians throughout the world, observed its/their 400th anniversary in Koloszvar/Klaussenberg/Cluj, as was widely reported, and of course many visited it. At present, the UUA has announced a job opening there for a divinity student to teach English as a Second Language.
There were Unitarian settlers from England worshipping in Colonial America, and various early historical figures before 1825 have professed or been claimed for the faith.
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
They just get weirder and weirder.
Remember Roy Moore?
The Constitutionally illiterate Alabama judge who lost his job because he refused to remove the graven image of the ten commandments of the god of Abraham from the
Remember how The Faithful® wept and prayed to the big chunk of rock with the commandments on it?
Well, Roy wants his job back.
Alabama's ex-chief justice Roy Moore to appeal removal over Ten Commandments to Supreme Court
Wednesday, May 26, 2004
(05-26) 10:15 PDT MONTGOMERY, Ala. (AP) --
Alabama's former chief justice said Wednesday he will ask the U.S. Supreme Court to review his ouster from office over his refusal to remove a Ten Commandments monument from the state judicial building.
"We have now moved from moving monuments out of buildings which acknowledged God to removing public officials from office for expressing a belief in God," he said.
There never was a liberal media bias.
If reporting the facts makes you look bad, stop doing that bad thing you're doing.
Screaming "Liberal Media Bias! Liberal Media Bias!" just shows the world your inability to accept responsibility for your own actions.
Stop whining. Stop lying.
Stop wasting our time and money on your idiotic schemes (see below).
The world isn't yours to destroy.
You can't have it just because you want it.
People in hell want ice water.
That doesn't mean they're gonna get it.
Federal Court Upholds Oregon's Assisted Suicide Law
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: May 26, 2004
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- A federal appeals court ordered the Bush administration not to meddle with a state's assisted suicide law, ruling Wednesday that doctors in Oregon may prescribe lethal doses of medication to terminally ill patients.
Ruling on the nation's only law that allows doctors to assist in hastening the death of a patient, the court said U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft cannot sanction or hold Oregon doctors criminally liable for prescribing overdoses, as the state's voter-approved Death With Dignity Act allows.