Saturday, July 31, 2004

Today's Sermon

This morning, Ming The Merciless (no kidding! Everyone has a website!) will help you decide which religion best suits you...

Religion, Which One Is For You?


About Ming:

Alex Raymond's comic strip Flash Gordon debuted in 1934. It was notable for adopting art deco design to the comics, for its detailed and more literary story lines, and for inspiring not only a series of subsequent comic versions of Flash but also several Flash Gordon films (1936-1940). The films starred Buster Crabbe as Flash and Charles Middleton as Ming the Merciless. John Lipson played King Vultan.

In the Alex Raymond comic strip, a rogue planet is hurtling toward the earth. Hoping to avert disaster, a scientist (Dr. Zarkov) plans to fly to planet Mongo. Meanwhile, Flash Gordon and a woman named Dale Arden are in a plane that crashes on Zarkov's property. Zarkov kidnaps them to help with his rocket flight. They all arrive on planet Mongo to find its orbit controlled by Emperor Ming. Ming later kidnaps Dale Arden.

Word Of The Week


affluenza (AF.loo.en.zuh) n. An extreme form of materialism in which consumers overwork and accumulate high levels of debt to purchase more goods (affluence + influenza).

Example Citation:

Our society is more troubled by problems of overabundance. We are three times richer than in the 1950s, and diseases particular to "affluenza" clog our social and individual arteries. We are more overworked, more stressed, more depressed and much fatter. ...

Critiques of affluenza go deeper than puritanical dismay at the aggressive vulgarity of materialism. The centrepiece of the argument is that we are obsessed privately with more income and better goods, and collectively with "growth" and "progress". Yet all the scholarly work on well-being shows that after passing a benchmark of real deprivation, greater prosperity does not lead to increased happiness.
—Anne Manne, "Sell Your Soul And Spend, Spend, Spend," Syndey Morning Herald, April 14, 2003

Earliest Citation:

Ann [Beattie] gives readings all over the country. Ann's picture was on the cover of the SoHo Weekly News. Ann gets mail from men in prison who have read her stories and fallen in love with her. And a Boston paper even referred to the people she writes about, usually disenchanted orphans of Affluenza, as The Beattie Generation.
—Tom Shales, "Rough Cuts From Ann," The Washington Post, October 25, 1979

Ahem. As I was saying
(about history)...

The last time a president told the American people that prosperity was just around the corner, it took FDR almost three terms to clean up the mess!
Kerry Mocks Bush's 'Itsy Bitsy' Campaign Slogan

By Patricia Wilson

GREENSBURG, Pa. (Reuters) - Democratic White House challenger John Kerry mocked President Bush's new "turning the corner" campaign slogan on Saturday and said he offered voters more than "little itsy bitsy" sound bites.

On the second day of a 22-state, 43-city tour that will take him and running mate John Edwards from coast to coast by bus, train and boat over the next two weeks, Kerry disputed Bush's contention that "we are turning the corner and we're not turning back" on the U.S. economy. LINK
Substitute George W. Bush for Herbert Hoover:
Today we're living in a shanty
Today we're scrounging for a meal

Today I'm stealing coal for fires
Who knew I could steal?

I used to winter in the tropics

I spent my summers at the shore

Fred (wrapped in newspaper for warmth):
I used to throw away the papers

He don't anymore

We'd like to thank you, Herbert Hoover
For really showing us the way
We'd like to thank you, Herbert Hoover
You made us what we are today

Prosperity was 'round the corner
The cozy cottage built for two
In this blue heaven
That you gave us
Yes! We're turning blue!

They offered us Al Smith and Hoover
We paid attention and we chose

Not only did we pay attention

We paid through the nose.

In ev'ry pot he said 'a chicken'
But Herbert Hoover he forgot
Not only don't we have the chicken
We ain't got the pot!

Hey, Herbie!

You left behind a grateful nation

So, Herb, our hats are off to you
We're up to here with admiration

Come down and have a little stew

Come down and share some Christmas dinner
Be sure to bring the missus too
We got no turkey for our stuffing
Why don't we stuff you?

We'd like to thank you, Herbert Hoover
For really showing us the way
You dirty rat, you
Bureaucrat, you
Made us what we are today

Come and get it, Herb! LINK

Dick Cheney (R, Strangelove)
has to approve your
racial background
before you can photograph him.

Hey, Dick! Planet Oh Right Sure called... They want to know when you'll be coming home!
Bush camp solicits race of Star staffer

By C.J. Karamargin

President Bush's re-election campaign insisted on knowing the race of an Arizona Daily Star journalist assigned to photograph Vice President Dick Cheney.

The Star refused to provide the information.


"It was such an outrageous request, I was personally insulted," Hayt said later.

Danny Diaz, a spokesman for the president's re-election campaign, said the information was needed for security purposes.

"All the information requested of staff, volunteers and participants for the event has been done so to ensure the safety of all those involved, including the vice president of the United States," he said.

Diaz repeated that answer when asked if it is the practice of the White House to ask for racial information or if the photographer, Mamta Popat, was singled out because of her name. He referred those questions to the U.S. Secret Service, which did not respond to a call from the Star Friday afternoon.

Hayt declined to speculate on whether Popat was racially profiled, but said she is deeply concerned.

"One has to wonder what they were going to do with that information," Hayt said. "Because she has Indian ancestry, were they going to deny her access? I don't know." LINK
I don't think Republicans care about hiding their vicious form of bigotry anymore...
Too bad that this bunch has such a disdain for history... or even movies about historical events: George W. and Dick probably laughed at people who paid to see Dr. Zhivago.

When Lara's little girl tells Zhivago that the Czar had to be killed because he was a bad man, Zhivago says that the Czar didn't know he was bad.
The little girl looks into Zhivago's eyes and says, "Well, he should have known, shouldn't he?"

Friday, July 30, 2004

Faith-Based Accounting?
Get real, George W.!

This really frosts my cookies!

U.S. Lacks Records for Iraq Spending

By MATT KELLEY, Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON - U.S. civilian authorities in Baghdad failed to keep good track of nearly $1 billion in Iraqi money spent for reconstruction projects and can't produce records to show whether they got some services and products they paid for, anew audit concludes.

The former Coalition Provisional Authority paid nearly $200,000 for 15 police trucks without confirming they were delivered, and auditors have not located them, the report from the CPA's Inspector General said. Officials also didn't have records to justify the $24.7 million pricetag for replacing Iraqi currency which used to carry Saddam Hussein's portrait, the report said.


The one-star general overseeing reconstruction contracts in Iraq said in response to the audit that the lack of documentation didn't prove the money was wasted.

"We believe the contracts awarded with Iraqi funds were for the sole benefit of the Iraqi people, without exception," Army Brig. Gen. Stephen M. Seay wrote to the inspector general. LINK (Rate the story!)

"We believe..."
I don't give a rat's A$$KKKroft what you believe! Anyone but a coward would fire your A$$KKKroft in a heartbeat!

Thursday, July 29, 2004

This Week's
Of The
Bell Curve


Susan Sheybani
(AKA "Bush Prozac Girl") 
Assistant to Bush Campaign
Spokesman Terry Holt

Going To Work
For Republicans

Republican Bimbo

Susan was really busy today, campaigning for George W.!

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A campaign worker for President Bush said on Thursday American workers unhappy with low-quality jobs should find new ones -- or pop a Prozac to make themselves feel better.

"Why don't they get new jobs if they're unhappy -- or go on Prozac?" said Susan Sheybani, an assistant to Bush campaign spokesman Terry Holt.

The comment was apparently directed to a colleague who was transferring a phone call from a reporter asking about job quality, and who overheard the remark.

When told the Prozac comment had been overheard, Sheybani said: "Oh, I was just kidding." LINK (Be sure to rate the story!)

Has Susan always been this way?

Two Google clicks later...

While in college, she wrote this:

In recent years, affirmative action supporters have sought equality of outcomes in education rather than equality of opportunity. Feminist organizations call for legal measures to enforce statistical parity between male and female populations in various educational fields. Affirmative action is steadily trying to produce equal outcomes, which is social engineering. LINK

Susan also wrote that women don't major in Science or Math because they just plain don't want to. They just don't like those subjects.


Could it be that no one encourages little girls to like Science or Math, Susan?

Persuasion is most powerful when you have no idea that you're being persuaded, Susan!

Did you chose to become a heartless Republican Bimbo, Susan?

Or were you raised that way?

How sad that no one ever persuaded you to take an Ethics class!

It's even sadder that no one ever cared enough about you to teach you any manners. 

And if you don't like my reaction to your ridiculous, callous quip, Susan, take a Prozac and SHOVE IT!

In Memoriam:

Jason Beck, Voice Artist
("It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Superman!")

Jason Beck, veteran radio announcer, set the standard for announcers in the early days of television, and founded the American Federation of Radio Artists (now the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists, which includes crew workers, makeup artists, and many other TV/Radio professions).

Remember this...?

"Faster than a speeding bullet!
More powerful than a locomotive!
Able to leap tall buildings at a single bound!"
"Look! Up in the sky!" "It's a bird!" "It's a plane!"
"It's - SUPERMAN!"

"Yes, it's Superman - strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Superman! Who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel in his bare hands, and who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, fights a never-ending battle for Truth, Justice, and the American Way!"

Jackson Beck

NEW YORK (AP) - Jackson Beck, a master of voice-over who bellowed the phrase "It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Superman!" to introduce the "Superman" radio show and used his versatile voice to promote everything from Aqua Fresh toothpaste to Combat roach killer, died Wednesday. He was 92.

Beck had been ill after suffering a series of small strokes four or five years ago, according to Jeff David, a friend.

In addition to narrating Superman's adventures, Beck doubled as villains, supporting characters and the Daily Planet copyboy, Beany, on the popular radio broadcasts of the 1940s.

He also portrayed of [sic] the bully Bluto in more than 300 "Popeye" cartoons, was the voice of the Cisco Kid and was known for his impersonations of world leaders in "The March of Time," an enactment of the week's news from Time magazine. LINK

Mr. "Shove It" (AKA "Married") used to "shove it" to an AA at the office...


We all knew there was something "there," didn't we?

It was just a matter of time...
Colin, a married man, was in fact "shoving it." Shoving it in the administrative assistant who also worked at the Trib. This went on for a little over a year, until he decided to end it, at which point, the assistant flipped out on him, and beat his sorry ass to a pulp in his own office. She, of course, was canned immediately and escorted out of the building. I spoke with her later about what happened, and she filled me in, about how she enjoyed knocking his goofy glasses off his head and then proceeded to call his wife and tell her about his 'extra curricular' activities.

I thought only liberals cheated on their wives. Aren't Republicans supposed to be Holier than Thou? hmm...

In my opinion, I'm glad he got a smack down from a girl. He deserved it. He was always a shady little bastard, doing shady little business for the Man. However, I'm sad to see he still has a job there, and I'm sad that now they have some kind of fodder to shoot off nasty remarks about Kerry. Undoubtedly, McNickle will be shitting out a column, picking apart the moral values of someone who would be so crass, as to tell a reporter to "shove it". I'll bet McNickle didn't have a problem when Bush and Cheney called reporters "big time assholes" , or when Cheney told another congressman to "fuck off", and he sure didn't have any problems cheating on his wife. The mind of the Right, never ceases to amaze me. LINK (Scroll Down)

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Meet Mr. "Shove it."

Colin McNickle is the [Pittsburgh]Trib's editorial page editor. His column appears Sundays. Ring him at (412) 320-7836. E-mail him at

Colin McNickle is not a reporter.

I repeat:

Colin McNickle is not a reporter.

Back in December, 2000, he wrote this in his column:

This column will really upset liberals

By Colin McNickle
Sunday, December 16, 2001
As with fools, I don't suffer liberals gladly. I'm a proud member of the vast right-wing conspiracy. If not a founding member, I'm at least a charter member and darn proud of it. And I, too, find myself continually shaking my head over the Styrofoam-for-brains liberals and ``their'' media.

All who enter my office are reminded of my persuasion when they leave. It's so chilling that some even here don't linger very long.

My ``sustaining membership'' card for 2002 from the Republican National Committee, taped to the wall, is one far-from-tacit notandum. (Down boys and girls; no money exchanged hands for this honorific.)

Below that is my ``I'M FED UP WITH THE LIBERAL MEDIA'' bumper sticker that Brent Bozell gave me January last in Washington. (That, by the way, was right after Brent gave Bob Bork a big bear hug and secret handshake.) LINK

This "Shove it" story is in its fourth day and has been debunked by everyone under the sun who is willing to state the simple truth: Colin McNickle was not asking her a legitimate reporter's question. He was hoping that Heinz Kerry would be so distracted by convention events that he could bait her with his use of "Unamerican Activites," instead of "Unamerican Traits," which was the term she had actually used.

If you followed this story this week, you had a chance to see the rightwing spin machine in action.

Beware the rightwing op ed editor in reporter's clothing.

Convention Buzz

Overheard on the Convention floor:

Pundits claim that the public doesn't know John Kerry.
Convention Goers: Where the Cheney have you been since Iowa?
Open your eyes. Turn on the TV (other than Fox).
Read a Cheneying newspaper!!

The Bush/Cheney campaign is filming warm and fuzzy bio ads at the pig farm while Dems are in Boston.

Are they going to mention his string of business failures?

The way he profited with his Harken Energy stock (insider information)?

How he stuck Arlington with the bill for his ballpark and then cashed in at the expense of the taxpayers?

His AWOL months from the Texas Air National Guard?

His DUI's?

His personal letters to and from Ken Lay?

His scared rabbit run out of harm's way on 9/11?

Boy, I sure can't wait to see those!

According to Convention Goers, Ms. Heinz Kerry once said that Rick Santorum was "Forest Gump with an attitude."

Fox News Hairdos remained seated during the National Anthem Monday night and conducted interviews during President Carter's speech. They then proceeded to bash Carter's speech. Typical.

Fox won't touch Obama, though. He must scare them. He's simply too popular.

The National Enquirer claims Cheney will drop out 2 weeks before the election, and George W. will pick Rudy Guiliani.
NYC Fire fighters, police officers, and union workers would love a piece of that!

Dems can't wait to see the RNC equivalent of Rev. Alstrom, the Vietnam Vet who spoke so eloquently Monday night...
Karl Rove is probably poring over head shots from Central Casting right now.

Dems are wondering if Rush Limbaugh will call Alana Wexler, the 12 year old founder of Kids For Kerry, a dog... as he called Chelsea Clinton in 1992.

Dedicated Dems have signed on for shift work: bird dogging Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, and other Fox Fascists & Friends wherever they go.

It's funny that Glenn Close was there because she played Cruella DeVille, but Maria Shriver is a dead ringer for the animated Cruella these days. All she needs is a spotted coat!

George W. and Laura are so worried about Ms. Heinz Kerry's 5 language greeting last night that they're brushing up on their Pig Latin.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Shhhhhh! George W. is gleaning...

There are so many things wrong with this AP story (and George W.) on so many levels that it's difficult to choose just one.

Bush: 'It Reads Like a Mystery'
AP: Tuesday, July 27, 2004

First of all, there's this exchange:
The president said he was reading the [9/11 Commission] report and found it "interesting."
The man who brags about not reading is "reading" the 9/11 Commission Report? Did they relocate the Crawford Pig Farm on Planet OH, Right Sure?

Next, there's this:

"It reads like a mystery, a novel. It's well written," Bush told The Associated Press in a brief interview just outside his home in Crawford.
It "reads like a mystery, a novel."

Hm. I thought he was the "main character."

He's probably wondering how it ends.

Then, there's this little gem:

Asked what he was gleaning from the report, he said, "I'm gleaning that was a well-thought-out plot by the enemy."

Is George W. with us or against us?

It "was a well-thought-out plot by the enemy."

Oh, invisible cloud being (of my choice) in the sky!
Did he really say that?

George W. must be completely clueless not to understand...


Wait! There's even more, if you can stand it:

"We've got work to do," he said, adding that the nation is "safe but not safe enough."

Please! Stop! I can't take this anymore!

Safe but not safe enough, and we've got work to do? LINK

George W. wants four more years, and he'll promise to make you safe if you send money and turn a blind eye when he cheats AGAIN.

Used car salesmen have better lines than that!

I would hope that we all learn something of value from the 9/11 attacks... And not just sift through the scant few fragments of useful information left "unclassified" by the Bush administration.

to glean

\Glean\, v. t. [imp. & p. p. Gleaned; p. pr. & vb. n. Gleaning.] [OE. glenen, OF. glener, glaner, F. glaner, fr. LL. glenare; cf. W. glan clean, glanh?u to clean, purify, or AS. gelm, gilm, a hand?ul.]

1. To gather after a reaper; to collect in scattered or fragmentary parcels, as the grain left by a reaper, or grapes left after the gathering.

2. To gather from (a field or vineyard) what is left.

To glean the broken ears after the man That the main harvest reaps.


The Gleaners

Jean François Millet

Convention Update

Alert Democrats had already located and staked out the SUPER SECRET UNDISCLOSED LOCATION of the Republican Party's Counter-Convention headquarters in Boston... BEFORE Republicans could even gather there for their first meeting.

So much for Republicans being able to protect you! They're too lazy to walk more than a block away from the Fleet Center without whining that it's too far!

Tee hee.

My favorite protest group, Billionaires For Bush, were there to greet Republicans when they arrived for their first SUPER SECRET planning meeting.

Billionaires For Bush

My favorite Billionaires For Bush chant:

What Do We Want?

Child Labor!

How Do We Want It?


Joining the Billionaires today in front of the NOT AT ALL SUPER, NO LONGER SECRET, FULLY DISCLOSED Republican Spin Zone HQ will be those famous Caped Crusaders, Enron Ed and Hal E. Burton!

(Cue Snidely Whiplash!)

SW: Curses! Foiled again!

David Letterman Explains It All For You

What Democrats Say / What Republicans Say
David Letterman

Democrats: The key to our victory will be winning crucial swing states.
Republicans: The key to our victory will be rigging the vote in crucial swing states.

Democrats: Honoring those with distinguished military records is a top priority.
Republicans: Concealing the president's military record is a top priority.

Democrats: States should decide the issue of gay marriage.
Republicans: Marriage is only between a man and a woman, or 2 really hot chicks.

Democrats: We're going to win the election in November.
Republicans: As we proved in 2000, winning doesn't mean you get the job.

Democrats: People from all races, creeds and walks of life are working together to elect Kerry.
Republicans: People from all sorts of different country clubs are working together to re-elect Bush.

Democrats: Bacon is tasty.
Republicans: Agreed.

Democrats: In retrospect, evidence did not justify war in Iraq.
Republicans: It was worth going to war to see Saddam with that crazy beard.

Democrats: John Kerry was a war hero.
Republicans: George W. Bush was a cheerleader. (Shows pic of W. in "uniform")

Democrats: Our vice presidential candidate exudes youth and vitality.
Republicans: Our vice presidential candidate exudes a strange wheezing noise when he climbs stairs.

Thanks, Dave!

I needed that after gagging on the few minutes I could stand watching Joe (Don't Ask Me About The Dead Intern In My Congressional Office And My Resignation Shortly Thereafter) Scarborough's Hate Fest on MSRNCBC!

Monday, July 26, 2004

Convention Rumors

Confirmed: Ann Coulter's USA Today column was not accepted for publication by her editors today. That opening line was probably the editors' first clue:
Here at the Spawn of Satan convention in Boston, conservatives are deploying a series of covert signals to identify one another, much like gay men do. LINK
Confirmed: Ms. Heinz-Kerry told a Scaife-funded fundie reporter to "shove it" without an exclamation point and in English, which is not even her native language.

Confirmed (CNN): George W. fell off his bike AGAIN.

Unconfirmed: George W. suffers from epilepsy. Watch how he rarely uses his left hand, unless he's holding something... Like the dog, which he dropped in front of several frightened children.

Unconfirmed: Ann Coulter has Marfan's Syndrome. LINK

Unconfirmed: FOX News' Girly Man, Sean Hannity, has asked for police protection. I guess he's afraid the Big Bad Burly Democrats (whom he calls "weak" whenever possible) will beat the living daylights out him.

2004 Democratic Convention

(Click Image To Enlarge)

LINK To Full Size Chart

Monday's TV Coverage:

CBS: 10:00 p.m.- 11:00 p.m., coverage from the convention floor with host Dan Rather.

NBC: 10:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m., coverage from the convention floor with host Tom Brokaw.

ABC: 10:00-11:00pm, coverage from the convention floor with host Peter Jennings.

FOX NEWS: 10:00 pm - 11:00 pm, You Decide 2004, coverage from the convention floor.

CNN: 8:00 pm - 11:00 pm, live coverage from the convention floor with hosts Wolf Blitzer, Aaron Brown, Jeff Greenfield, Larry King, Bill Schneider and Judy Woodruff.

PBS: 8:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m., NewsHour with Jim Lehrer, coverage will include roundtable discussion and coverage from the convention floor.

C-SPAN: 4:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m., gavel-to-gavel coverage from the convention floor.

Today's Assignment

Compare and Contrast the military records
of the two presidential candidates.

Be sure to note:

the sources of each candidate's records

the public availability of the documents

and the republican's miraculously resurrected discharge order (see post below)


By direction of the President:
George W.'s TANG Discharge Order

Bush's Military Blunders Are Legion...

... But what do you expect from someone
who was DD FORM 258AF-ed?

Even the most rabid rightwinger now secretly questions Bush's weird "military support" mantra: Support The Troops!®

Obviously, supporting the troops would mean providing proper equipment (body armor, reinforced vehicles, sufficient troop strength) to complete their missions, not to mention keeping track of taxpayer billions handed over to Halliburton for "services unrendered"... Which is what Americans would expect from a president who served honorably in the US military, right?

Thanks for playing. Please try again.

In last Friday's Wonder Of Wonders, Miracle Of Miracles resurrected George W. Boozerlush Texas National Guard records was this little gem:

On the order which SUPPOSEDLY gives Bush an "honorable discharge," the following words appear...

"DD FORM 258AF will be furnished"

Have I mentioned lately how handy the internet is?

From the Code of Federal Regulations, 32 CFR 887.7...




Sec. 887.7 Persons separated under other than honorable conditions (undesirable or bad conduct) or dishonorable discharge.

Those persons whose character of service was under other than honorable conditions or dishonorable are not eligible for CILs. However, an official photocopy of the report of separation

[[Page 196]]

or certificate of discharge (DD Form 214, Certificate of Release or Discharge From Active Duty, or equivalent form), if available, may be sent on written request of the member.
(a) On the DD Forms 214 issued before October 1, 1979, the following items will be masked out before a photocopy is sent out:
(1) Specific authority for separation.
(2) Narrative reason for separation.
(3) Reenlistment eligibility code.
(4) SPD or separation designation number (SDN).

(b) For DD Forms 214 issued after October 1, 1979, send one copy with the Special Additional Information Section, and one copy without it.

(c) If a report of separation is not available, furnish a brief official statement of military service. Use the letterhead stationery of the issuing records custodian. File copy of the statement in the master personnel record (MPerR).

(d) If (obsolete form) DD Form 258AF, Undesirable Discharge Certificate, has been issued, it may be replaced with DD Form 794AF, Discharge Under Other Than Honorable Conditions.

(e) A $4.25 fee may be charged for issuing a document under this section, with the exception of paragraph (d) of this section.

(d) If (obsolete form) DD Form 258AF, Undesirable Discharge Certificate, has been issued...


Whoa, Nellie!
DD Form 258AF will be furnished? 

"By direction of the President" 
(Click Document to enlarge)

Who was president on Nov. 21, 1974?

Gerald R. Ford, famous Nixon pardoner.

Who really really really wanted to be
Ford's Vice President in 1974?

George H. W. BushLINK (Scroll Down)
(and he almost got his wish!)

Would someone firmly ensconced inside the Nixon/Ford White House inner circle have any trouble manipulating his slacker son's TANG Discharge Order?

Would someone with documented disregard for the duty of a soldier to fulfill his/her military obligation have any trouble denying vitally necessary equipment to soldiers in the field? 

Troubling answers to troubling questions... 

George H. W.'s BIG MISTAKE! HUGE! moment...

He obviously didn't count on an officious military clerk including the DD Form 258AF reference on his son's Discharge Order.

George W.'s BIG MISTAKE! HUGE! moment...

He obviously has no one among his minions who knows enough about the US military even to recognize the term DD Form 258AF...

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Kill Some Time...

... at

Sidewalk Art 

Today's Sermon

Religious Tolerance Slide Show

 DT 13:13-15
'If you hear that in one of the towns, there are men who are telling people to go and worship other gods, it is your duty to look into the matter and examine it.' LINK

Saturday, July 24, 2004

'Toon Of The Weekend

Easily confused, George W. Bush (R- Village Of The Damned Idiots) obviously misunderstood Karl Rove's Iowa campaign directive to try to connect with the Black Community:

George W. Bushmeansblackinsomelanguage
and unidentified corn-fed baby

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About The 9/11 Commission Report...

... is in Chapter 8.

24 pages... Damning the Bush Misadministration.

Here's a juicy little morsel:
Tenet told us that in his world "the system was blinking red." By late July, Tenet said, it could not "get any worse." Not everyone was convinced. Some asked whether all these threats might just be deception. On June 30, the SEIB [Senior Executive Intelligence Brief] contained an article titled "Bin Ladin Threats Are Real." Yet Hadley told Tenet in July that Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz questioned the reporting. Perhaps Bin Ladin was trying to study U.S. reactions. Tenet replied that he had already addressed the Defense Department's questions on this point; the reporting was convincing. To give a sense of his anxiety at the time, one senior official in the Counterterrorist Center told us that he and a colleague were considering resigning in order to go public with their concerns. LINK

Friday, July 23, 2004

They're Baaack!
(Bush National Guard Records)

Al Martin: Bush National Guard Records ‘Rediscovered’

President Bush’s National Guard Records for the period July through September of 1972, when Bush was working as a campaign volunteer in Alabama, which previously had been reported ‘accidentally’ destroyed, have turned up at the Pentagon.

The records appear to show gaps in the President’s payroll record during the period he claimed to have been in attendance by the Guard.

The records show that he was in attendance for only three days in February 1972, and was absent during May, June, July, August, September and all but two days of October of that same year.

He was also absent all of February and March of 1973.

They do not, however, lay to rest claims, first put forth by controversial documentarian Michael Moore, that the President was absent without leave (or AWOL) during that period. In fact, they seem to invite more questions as to why they had been reported “accidentally destroyed” earlier this month. LINK

AP: Pentagon Releases Bush's Guard Records

WASHINGTON - The Pentagon on Friday released payroll records from President Bush's 1972 service in the Alabama National Guard, saying its earlier contention the records were destroyed was an "inadvertent oversight."

The records cover July through September of 1972, when Bush was working as a campaign volunteer in Alabama. The future president had been transferred from the Texas Air National Guard to the Alabama unit so he could stay in Alabama.


The Pentagon had said that the payroll records for that time period had been inadvertently destroyed.

In a letter to The Associated Press Friday, Pentagon freedom of information chief C.Y. Talbot said the records couldn't be found earlier because officials were using the wrong index number. LINK

Read the resurrected records...

Just because you get paid
doesn't mean you were there.

I want to see duty rosters, flight logs, medical exams, and quarterly evaluations!

Paying a man who clearly

wasn't there during wartime?


Quote Of The Week

"Not all readers become leaders.
But all leaders must be readers."

President Harry S. Truman

Stranger Than Fiction...

From New

'Saviour Sibling' Babies Get Green Light

No, they're not cloning Jeeeeeezzzzussssss!
Families who want to pre-select an embryo to create a child to save a sick sibling are given the official go-ahead in the UK.

Army Rations Rehydrated By Urine

Yum! I know I want to eat my own body waste!
Filthy water - even urine - can be used to rehydrate a dried food ration developed by food scientists for the US army.

Speaker system Lets Flowers Sing

Is this the long awaited Republican Entertainment Industry which will replace all of the godlesscommuninstpinkohippiehollyweirdliberals Republicans love to hate in election years?
A device vibrates flowers at high frequency to generate sound, but some experts are skeptical about audio quality.

Astronomers Pinpoint Date Of First Marathon

OK, I'm all for Knowledge for the sake of knowledge, but my life wouldn't be that much more incomplete without knowing the exact date of a particular sporting event.

Moon analysis may explain why the first runner collapsed and died upon reaching the finish line 2500 years ago.

Doctors May Have Killed Napoleon

Malpractice Schmalpractice!

The emperor may not have been murdered, but killed by overenthusiastic doctors, suggests a new theory.

Oh, there's more...

Fun With


DIY Kerry-Edwards Labels

Avery 8160 labels (30 labels per 8.5x11 sheet)

(PDF File) 

For Larger Labels (Same Style):

Avery 5163 label sheets (1" x 4" labels/10 per sheet)

(Also PDF)

For more Kerry-Edwards DIY fun, check out the website, which is entirely a volunteer effort and not connected to the official JK/JE campaign (Click on the web address below):

This Week's
Of The
Bell Curve


The Honorable John Pappageorge

Pappageorge, 73, was quoted in July 16 editions of the Detroit Free Press as saying, "If we do not suppress the Detroit vote, we're going to have a tough time in this election." LINK

Pappageorge (R- What Constitution?)
Michigan House of Representatives
The Honorable John Pappageorge
P.O. Box 30014
Lansing, MI 48909-7514

Phone: (517)373-1783


Senior Health, Security and Retirement
Veterans Affairs and Homeland Security
Employment Relations, Training and Safety
Joint Committee on Administrative Rules
Imagine that!

A Republican says they can't win unless they figure out a way to keep citizens from voting!

We all know what Pappa Doc Pappageorge meant...
Black people are ruining Republicans' chances of ruining the lives of millions of people in Michigan!
Considering Pappageorge's statement, how can he ever again claim to represent the people of Michigan?
Pappageorge also claims that "suppressing the vote in Detroit" isn't racist.
If not, Pappageorge is saying that Republicans must suppress the white blue collar vote in Detroit, and the Arab vote in Detroit, and the Hispanic vote in Detroit, and the white Democratic Party vote in Detroit.
Suppressing anyone's vote subverts the US Constitution.
Isn't subverting the US Constitution against the law anymore?

Thursday, July 22, 2004

2 Suspected Terrorists on
Bin Laden Family
Flight Manifest

The Author Is Not Related
To Felix, by the way.

For months we’ve known that approximately two dozen members of the bin Laden family were among the 142 passengers on the White House-approved Saudi evacuation, but exactly which members of the family were on the flights? This week, Senator Frank Lautenberg(D-NJ) released the passenger list for the September 19, 2001, Boston to Paris flight, showing who was on the flight for the first time. Two names in particular might be of interest to investigators. The documents show that Khalil Binladin boarded in Orlando. According to the German wire service Deutsche Presse-Agentur, Khalil, who had business interests in the Brazilian state of Minas Gerais, had won the attention of Brazilian investigators because of his visits to the Minas Gerais capital, Belo Horizonte, which was allegedly a Hezbollah training center. Another passenger, Omar Awad bin Laden, a nephew of Osama’s, lived with his brother Abdullah, who was a key figure in forming the American branch of the World Assembly of Muslim Youth. Federal agents raided WAMY this spring. The FBI has described the group as a “suspected terrorist organization.”

Click here to see the Manifest

Didn't 9/11 Commissioner Thomas Kean say that these flights never happened?

Site Registration
Bug Me!



How often do you follow a link to a news story, only to find out that you have to register before reading the story?


What if I don't want The Kansas Land Grant Aggie Tech News Dispatch to have my personal information in their database?

Bugmenot has already registered at most sites. Simply copy and paste (or drag and drop if you know how) the web address at the top of your site registration page into the window, and you'll (almost always) get a usable anonymous registration username and a password.

Bugmenot makes me glad that clever people have enough time and talent to create such helpful websites!

There must be
something wrong
with you...

The Great And Powerful
Rightwing Noise Machine
has told you repeatedly that
Jenna's behavior is only lighthearted fun!
Didn't your parents teach you that
this was acceptable public behavior?
Didn't your parents think it was cute?
What's the matter with your parents?
There must be something wrong with your parents.
Didn't you think it was cute?
What's the matter with you?
There must be something wrong with you. 

Everyone laughed!

Isn't Jenna just the cutest college graduate representing the pResident Of The United States that there ever ever ever ever was?
Gee whiz!  I wish I could dot
my i's with little pink hearts!

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

This Headline Is Not
From The Onion...

Labor Department Launches Web Site
to Help the Homeless

To: National Desk, Labor Reporter

Contact: Mike Biddle of the U.S. Department of Labor, 202-693-5051

WASHINGTON, July 20 /U.S. Newswire/ -- The Department of Labor (DOL) today launched a Web site to help America's homeless find jobs through mainstream as well as targeted training, education and placement services and to provide a vital link to government- wide resources.

"This Web page furthers the Administration's commitment to helping the homeless, including homeless veterans," said U.S. Secretary of Labor Elaine L. Chao, who serves as vice chairman of the Interagency Council on Homelessness. "The Department of Labor is committed to pooling our resources and working together with Congress, our federal, state and local partners to achieve the President's goal of ending chronic homelessness in 10 years."LINK

From the actual website...

The Department of Labor administers programs providing employment and training services that are crucial components in the comprehensive efforts to address the cycle of homelessness. The Department offers both mainstream and targeted employment-focused programs that help lead to self-sufficiency.

The DOL strategy focuses on helping homeless Americans who want to work or can become job-ready. DOL's objectives are to: 1) provide universal access to mainstream employment assistance and services, and 2) identify skill needs in today's workforce and address skill deficiencies of this population. LINK
Homeless people must all have
WiFi laptops!

If Homeless people don't check their DOL Daily News Emails to find out about this great opportunity, KKKompassionate KKKonservatives will chalk it up to laziness!


Poker With Dick Cheney

Transcript of The Editors' regular Saturday-night poker game with Dick Cheney, 6/19/04. Start tape at 12:32 AM.

The Editors: We'll take three cards.

Dick Cheney: Give me one.

Sounds of cards being placed down, dealt, retrieved,
and rearranged in hand.

Non-committal noises, puffing of cigars.

TE: Fifty bucks.

DC: I'm in. Show 'em.

TE: Two pair, sevens and fives.

DC: Not good enough.

TE: What do you have?

DC: Better than that, that's for sure. Pay up.

TE: Can you show us your cards?

DC: Sure. One of them's a six.

TE: You need to show all your cards. That's the
way the game is played.

Colin Powell: Ladies and gentlemen. We have accumulated overwhelming evidence that Mr. Cheney's poker hand is far, far better than two pair. Note this satellite photo, taken three minutes ago when The Editors went to get more chips. In it we clearly see the back sides of five playing cards, arranged in a poker hand. Defector reports have assured us that Mr. Cheney's hand was already well advanced at this stage. Later, Mr. Cheney drew only one card. Why only one card? Would a man without a strong hand choose only one card? We are absolutely  convinced that Mr. Cheney has at least a full house.

Tim Russert: Wow. Colin Powell really hit a home run for the Administration right there. A very powerful performance. My dad played a lot of poker in World War 2, and he taught me many things about life. Read my book.

TE: He's extremely good at Power Point. But we would like to see the cards, or else we can't really be sure he has anything to beat two pair. We don't think he would lie to us, but ... well, it is a very rich pot.

Jonah Goldberg: Liberal critics of Mr. Cheney's poker hand contend that "he doesn't have anything." Oh, really, liberal critics? Cheney already showed them the six of clubs, and yet these liberals persist in saying he has "nothing." Why do liberals consider the six of clubs to be "nothing?" Is it because the six of clubs is black?


The Drudge Report has learned that Dick Cheney has a royal flush, hearts. Developing ...

TE: Perhaps if you could just show us a subset of your cards which beat 2 pair? Or tell us exactly what your hand is?

DC: We will show you our cards after we have collected the pot. It is important that things be done in this order, otherwise the foundation of our entire poker game will be destroyed.

TE: We aren't sure ...

DC: Very good. And here are my cards. A straight flush.

Judith Miller: Dick Cheney has revealed a straight flush, confirming his pre-collection claims about beating two pair.

TE: Those cards are of different suits. It's not a flush.

Mark Steyn: When will it end? Now liberal critics complain that Dick Cheney's cards are not all the same suit. Naturally, these are the same liberals who are always whining about a lack of diversity in higher education. It seems like segregation is OK with these liberals, as long as it damages Republicans.


A witness has come forward claiming that The Editors engage in racial profiling in blog-linking. Developing ...

TE: Wait! It's not even a straight! You've got a eight and ten of hearts, a six of clubs, and the seven and five of diamonds. You have a ten high. That's nothing.

Sean Hannity: Well, well, well. In another sign of liberal desperation, liberals now complain that a ten high is "nothing. Does ten equal zero in liberal mathematics? That would explain a lot.

Robert Novak: It's a perfectly valid poker hand. Apparently, liberals have never heard of a "skip straight." It's a kind of straight, just with one card missing. But if you skip around the missing nine, it's a straight.

Alan Colmes: Mother says I mustn't play poker.

TE: There is no such thing as a "skip straight."

Brit Hume: It seems like some people are still playing poker like it's September 10th. Back then, you needed to have all your cards in order to claim a straight. But, as we learned on that day, sometimes you won't have perfect knowledge. Sometimes you have to learn to connect the dots, and see the patterns which are not visible to superficial analysis of the type favored by the CIA and the State Department. Dick Cheney's skip straight is a winning poker hand for the post-9/11 world.

Rush Limbaugh: Do The Editors have two pairs, or a pair of twos? First they say one thing, then another. What are they hiding?

Andrew Sullivan: Dick Cheney never said he had a straight. He was very careful about this. His cards can form many different hands. None of these hands alone can beat a pair of twos; but, taken together, the combination of all possible hands presents a more compelling case for taking the pot than simply screaming "Pair of twos! Pair of twos!" as unprincipled liberal critics of the Vice President so often do.


Did The Editors claim to have "a pair of Jews?" Are they anti-Semites as well as racists? Developing ...

Zell Miller: As a lifelong liberal Democrat, I believe Dick Cheney, and I hate liberals and Democrats.

William Safire: Why are liberals so obsessed by Dick Cheney's poker hand? The pot has been taken, the deal is done. If liberals are upset that we are no longer playing by the Marquis of Queensbury patty-cake poker rules, they clearly lack the stomach to play poker in the post-September 11th environment. And why do they never complain about Saddam Hussein's poker playing, which was a thousand times worse?

Christopher Hitchens: The Left won't be happy until the pot is divided up equally between Yassar Arafat, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler. Orwell would have seen this.

Ann Coulter: Why do liberals object so strenuously to the idea of conservatives having a "straight?" Perhaps because it doesn't fit in with the radical homosexual/Islamist agenda they hold so dear?

Report of the Bipartisan Commission on Poker Hands: There is no such thing as a "skip straight."

DC: I have access to poker rules that the Commission doesn't, and so I know for a fact that the cards in my hand are all intimately connected.

George W. Bush: Dick Cheney is telling the truth. I'm a nice man who would drink a beer with you.

Vladimir Putin: I dealt Dick Cheney three aces and two kings.

DC: My deal.

Campaign News:
Arizona Just Flipped!


July 21, 2004 US Electoral Map


News from the Votemaster

Only one poll today but it is a biggie. KAET-TV commissioned the Walter Cronkite School of Journalism at Arizona State University to conduct a presidential preference poll in Arizona. The poll, taken July 15-18, gives Kerry the lead by 42% to 41%. While this is a statistical tie, it is a marked change from previous polls which showed Bush with a solid lead in Arizona. If subsequent polls confirm this result, Arizona will become another battleground state. Due to its many retirees, Arizona may become a state where Medicare and domestic issues overshadow foreign policy issues.

Missouri has flipped, too!
And Tennessee is tied?

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Tempest, Meet Teapot!

Oh, No! 

Sandy Berger took his personal handwritten notes out of The Dreaded National Archive!

Oh, No!

Guess what, Tempest... Sandy Berger broke no laws!
No one is even accusing him of breaking any laws... 

But He Breached Archive Rules!

Mr. Berger didn't know he had a copy of a copy of a redacted memo with his other papers until he got home from The Dreaded National Archive...

Oh, No! What will we tell the children? 

Then Mr. Berger returned the memo! After all, this was last July!

Oh, No! The world as we know it will end tomorrow because of this!

See! I knew that he knew that the keepers of The Dreaded Archive knew that you and I and everyone on the planet knew that Mr. Berger knew that that memo was of vital importance to our National Security!


What a crock!


Finally! Some REAL NEWS!

Forget Sandy Berger!

Martha Who?

Iraq Schmiraq!

Michael Jackson to Be Father of Quadruplets

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Pop star Michael Jackson, facing a trial on child molestation charges, is about to become a father to four more children -- quadruplets -- by way of a surrogate mother, Us Weekly magazine reported on Tuesday.

Citing unnamed sources close to the self-proclaimed "King of Pop," the magazine said Jackson recently spent time with the pregnant mother-to-be in Florida, where he stayed in a $4,000-a-night luxury hotel suite in Miami Beach.

The magazine said Jackson's spokeswoman Raymone Bain declined to confirm or deny the story, saying, "We do not respond to these kinds of stories."

Bain could not be immediately reached for comment by Reuters.

Jackson, 45, already has three children -- Prince Michael I and daughter Paris Michael by his former wife, Debbie Rowe, and Prince Michael II, the child he notoriously dangled from the balcony of a Berlin hotel in November 2002. LINK



Too Quiet
On The
News-less Front

After last Friday's ALL MARTHA ALL THE TIME spectacle, I waited for the usual Friday News Dump...

I waited. No biggies on Friday.

I waited. No biggies on Saturday.

I waited some more. No revelations on Sunday, either.

The same goes for Monday (yesterday).


Quietly simmering on the Back Burner:

Simmer until reduced by half;
Then serve warm.
May be reheated if necessary. 

German TV has the story of Child Rape/Sodomy/Torture Cases in US controlled Iraqi prisons: The International Red Cross has documented over 100 cases of children (under the age of puberty) in at least 6 locations in Iraq. The children were rounded up along with adult family members during raids of Iraqi households, in the name of "The War On Terror." LINK (In German)

Arnold Calls Democrats "Girlie Men" because they won't let him bust the School Bus Drivers' union: Amazing! A man who was so scrawny and lonely as a child that he took up weightlifting (Remember those guys?)... And when that wasn't enough, he pumped himself up with steroids for a more manly man look... A man who posed, oiled and thonged, for a Gay Porn magazine... A man who denies groping scores of women, even though film and still photos are readily available... A man who has had more plastic surgery than Michael Jackson... A man who doesn't go out in public until his personal makeup artist is finished... HAS THE NERVE TO CALL DEMOCRATS WHO WANT TO PROTECT BUS DRIVERS "Girlie Men?" LINK
In case you were wondering... GIRLIE MAN = FAG = FEMALE, which must be bad; otherwise, it wouldn't be an insult.

Iraq-O-Meter: The Coalition is crumbling, George W. Fit-Pitcher rethinks ties with The Philippines; and US handpicked Iraqi Govt. Officials are dropping like flies in a backyard cloud of Real-Kill. LINK

Election Projection: The country seems to be Bushed! Only Fox News polls envision a Bush win. Go figure! LINK

Cheney = Halliburton = illegal Iran Biz Ties: Federal prosecutors have issued subpoenas for Cheney/Halliburton docs related to illegal biz dealings with Iran. We already knew that Cheney/Halliburton was in bed with Saddam. LINK

Bush misquotes student paper on Cuban prostitution: DUH! So what else is new? LINK

Today will be ALL SANDY BERGER ALL THE TIME: President Clinton's national security adviser, Sandy Berger, is the focus of a criminal investigation (misdemeanors charge) after admitting he removed highly classified terrorism documents (copies and notes from his own original work) from a secure reading room (not so secure, is it?) during preparations for the Sept. 11 commission (What? You can't even use your own original work to prepare?) hearings. Of course, this is only an issue because Berger worked for Clinton and now supports Kerry. LINK

Oh, yeah... The NYT sort of apologizes for drinking the BushCo Kool-Aid in the run up to Shock & Awe:
A Pause for Hindsight July 16, 2004
During the run-up to the war, The Times ran dozens of editorials on Iraq, and our insistence that any invasion be backed by "broad international support" became a kind of mantra. It was the administration's failure to get that kind of consensus that ultimately led us to oppose the war.

But we agreed with the president on one critical point: that Saddam Hussein was concealing a large weapons program that could pose a threat to the United States or its allies. We repeatedly urged the United Nations Security Council to join with Mr. Bush and force Iraq to disarm.

As we've noted in several editorials since the fall of Baghdad, we were wrong about the weapons. And we should have been more aggressive in helping our readers understand that there was always a possibility that no large stockpiles existed. Much more...

Back Burner News
should have its own
Fair & Balanced

Speaking Truth To
(Those Dems Not In)

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Silver City: Thinly Veiled Bush Attack?

Did you catch the Silver City trailer, nestled neatly among the Coming Attractions before Fahrenheit 9/11 began?

If not...

Click Here...

About as thinly veiled as a spider web!

About the Movie
September, 2004
Chris Cooper, Richard Dreyfuss, Daryl Hannah, Kris Kristofferson, Maria Bello, Miguel Ferrer, Mary Kay Place, Thora Birch, Tim Roth, Billy Zane, Danny Huston
Full Cast & Credits...
Directed by:
John Sayles

Synopsis: The latest John Sayles film follows the grammatically-challenged, "user-friendly" gubernatorial candidate Dicky Pilager (Chris Cooper), during his Colorado campaign to win office. When Pilager finds that he's reeled in a corpse during the taping of an environmental ad, his ferocious campaign manager, Chuck Raven (Richard Dreyfuss), hires a P.I. to investigate potential links between the corpse and Pilager's enemies. The results of the investigation ultimately reveal a complex web of influence and corruption.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Today's Sermon

For all who worship St. Mattress on Sunday mornings...

Try singing Amazing Grace
to the tune of Gilligan's Island

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.

The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me,
His Word my hope secures;
He will my Shield and Portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, Who called me here below,
Shall be forever mine.

When we've been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we'd first begun.  LINK

In case you were wondering...

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port,
Aboard this tiny Ship.

The mate was a mighty sailin' man,
The Skipper brave and sure,
Five passengers set sail that day
For a three hour tour.
A three hour tour. [ sound of thunder: crack! ]

The weather started getting rough,
The tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew,
The Minnow would be lost.
The Minnow would be lost.

The ship's aground on the shore of this
Uncharted desert isle
With Gilligan, the Skipper too,
The Millionaire and his wife,
A movie star, ( and the rest ) the Professor and Mary Ann,
( All ) Here on Gilligan's Isle!

So this is the tale of our castways,
They're here for a long, long time
They'll have to make the best of things,
It's an uphill climb.

The first mate and ( his ) the Skipper too,
Will do their very best,
To make the others comfortable,
In their tropic island nest.

No phone(s)! No light(s)! No motor car(s)!
Not a single luxury,
Like Robinson C-ru-soe, it's primitive as can be.
So join us here each week my friends,
You're sure to get a smile,
From ( For ) seven stranded castways,
Here on "Gilligan's Isle." LINK

Try not to snicker the next time
you have to sit through a funeral!

You can't make this stuff up: Amish National Security Threat?

The Strange But True Tale of George W. Weirdo Frisking the Amish, Asking About Their Hats, And Refusing Their Food... 
Bush quietly meets with Amish here; they offer their prayers
By Jack BrubakerLancaster New Era

LANCASTER COUNTY, PA - President Bush met privately with a group of Old Order Amish during his visit to Lancaster County last Friday. He discussed their farms and their hats and his religion.
These folks don't even believe in buttons, George. I'm sure they'll all skate down to the polling place and use those electronic voting machines for ya!
He asked them to vote for him in November. The Amish told the president that not all members of the church vote but they would pray for him.
They might be Armed And Dangerous?
"It took a while to get them through the metal detectors as these were farmers and shop men, with vice grips, pocket knives, and nuts and bolts in their pockets. Some ladies had baby gear. All pockets had to be emptied."
Wait! Rewind... Repeat...

It took a while to get them through the metal detectors...

When the Amish were "found not to be a serious threat to national security, " they were allowed inside the office area of Lapp Electric and waited about 30 minutes for the president to appear.
Question of the day: Are you George Bush?
"Suddenly the president and five Secret Service men stepped into the room. One housewife said, "Are you George Bush?'"The president replied in the affirmative and shook hands all around, asking the names of all.
Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Littwiller Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Littwiller Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp  Lapp Littwiller Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp Lapp

Hasn't this idiot seen Witness?
Bush said he had never met any Amish before and was curious about why the men were wearing straw hats rather than black wool hats. The Amish explained that they wear cooler straw in summer.
No, George! This cookie is not a gift from Ms. Goldberg!
One of the young girls wanted to give Bush a whoopie pie cookie," Stoltzfus says. "Bush declined it. The Secret Service man took it, as presidents aren't supposed to eat untested food."
How dangerous are those cookies, anyway?
Whoopie Pie Cookie

Ingredients: 1/2 cup shortening 1 cup white sugar 2 eggs 2 cups all-purpose flour 5 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon baking soda 1 cup milk 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 3/4 cup shortening 2 cups confectioners' sugar 1 pinch salt 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C). Grease cookie sheets.

In a large bowl cream 1/2 cup of shortening , 1 cup sugar and 2 egg yolks. (Set egg whites aside for filling.) NOTE: If you don't want to use raw egg white in the filling, leave it out. Substitute 1 whole egg for the 2 egg yolks in the cookie recipe so you don't end up with leftover whites!!

In a separate bowl sift together 2 cups flour, 5 T cocoa, 1 t baking powder, 1/2 t salt, 1 t baking soda. Add to other mixture alternately with milk, beating well. Add vanilla at the end.

Drop by large spoonful on greased pan. Bake for 10-15 minutes. Remove to wire rack and cool completely.

To Make Filling: Beat together 3/4 cup shortening, 2 cups confectioners' sugar, 2 egg whites and dash of salt till light. Add 1 tsp. vanilla.

To assemble: Spread the flat side of one cookie circle with a spoonful of filling. Top with another.
Makes 6 servings LINK
Be sure to tout your divinity, George. That's sure to impress the Amish!
At the end of the session, Bush reportedly told the group, "I trust God speaks through me. Without that, I couldn't do my job."LINK.
So who's crazier:
George W. Desperate
Son Of Sam?