Thursday, November 30, 2006

Want To See What Bush Never Learned?

George W. Bush has a degree in History from Yale.

So why doesn't he know any... er, history?

Click Here
To See What
Bush Never Learned

Note that I wrote that Bush has a degree in History. I didn't write that he earned a degree in History.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

No Plastic Turkey This Year: Cheney Chickened Out!

The stupidest Thanksgiving story this year?

Cheney's in Iraq.

Cheney's not in Iraq.

Maybe he's there.

Maybe not.

Finally, the real story...

Oh yeah, Vice President Dick Cheney. The coward who wheedled five deferments to keep him out of Vietnam and thinks guns are for shooting penned-up pheasants and the occasional trial lawyer made news this Thanksgiving with an alleged trip to Baghdad that allegedly never took place.

The morning headline, as carried by Reuters, was encouraging.

"Cheney visits troops in Iraq for Thanksgiving," it read.

Wow. Maybe he's not such a coward after all, I thought. Things are pretty tough in Baghdad these days, especially on that road -- the "Highway of Death," they call it -- that leads from the airport to the city.

"The American embassy said it could not confirm the visit, but that Cheney could be in the country to visit troops for the Thanksgiving holiday," Reuters first reported.

Likewise, the U.S. military was playing coy.

"I'm not confirming or denying he's here. I'm trying to figure that out," said Lt. Col. Christopher Garver, a U.S. military spokesman.

Well, of course they wouldn't confirm or deny it, I thought. Don't want to tip the bad guys off to the presence of a high-value target in their midst. Two hours later, Cheney's office denied he was in Iraq, but then seemed to hedge its bets. A spokeswoman for Cheney, Megan McGinn, told Reuters in Washington, "He is not there now." Asked if he had plans to travel there later on Thursday, she said, "Not to my knowledge."

Asked whether Cheney was in Baghdad or anywhere else in Iraq, the U.S. military said it was "unaware of any information of the vice president being in Baghdad."

Speaking from Baghdad, Lt. Col. Garver said that the vice president was not in Iraq "as far as we know."

Plausible deniability, it's called. To believe the pronouncements of Ms. McGinn or Lt. Col. Garver, one would have to further believe that nobody knew where the vice president of the United States was.

It wasn't until 6 a.m. on Thanksgiving morning -- more than five hours after the initial reports -- that the unequivocal denials began. Cheney wasn't in Iraq, had no plans to go to Iraq, et cetera and so on. He was spending the holiday at an undisclosed location somewhere in Washington.

In Iraq, meanwhile, and Baghdad in particular, Thanksgiving had turned into a very bad day indeed. U.S. soldiers mistakenly opened fire on a van carrying Iraqi laborers to their jobs in Sadr City, Baghdad's Shiite slum, killing four and wounding eight. In a separate incident, three Marines were killed, bringing to 52 the number of American soldiers to die there in November.

And as Thanksgiving morning progressed, the violence escalated. Mortars and car bombs shook the city, and the rattle of small-arms fire echoed in the streets. The death toll was horrendous, with 216 Iraqis dying in one coordinated series of car bombings alone. The Baghdad airport and the Highway of Death that leads to it were ordered closed as Iraq's feeble military and police forces struggled in vain to stop the savagery their fellow countrymen were inflicting on each other.

For their part, the Americans wisely elected to stay in their barracks and take the day off from trying to referee what has clearly become a civil war.

But you've got to wonder. At what point did reports of the rapidly deteriorating situation on the ground prompt our chickenhawk vice president to tap the pilot of Air Force Two on the shoulder and say, "Turn this thing around. I'm not going down there."

At what point, exactly, did Cheney make the executive decision that a picture of him serving up a plastic turkey -- and some video of him telling the troops on the ground how "we're" going to win this thing -- just wasn't worth the possibility of becoming a casualty in a war he largely started.

What I find most disturbing about this whole No Plastic Turkey deal this year is the fact that there are no photos of Cheney doing anything, eating anything, or going anywhere during the holiday weekend.

Don't you find that odd, considering that a Norman Rockwell Moment was missed by the so-called family values bunch?

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Gingrich Wants To Gut The First Amendment

Yep, Newt thinks that whole freedom of speech deal needs to be rewritten...

Gingrich raises alarm at event honoring those who stand up for freedom of speech

Union Leader Staff

MANCHESTER – Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich yesterday said the country will be forced to reexamine freedom of speech to meet the threat of terrorism.

Gingrich, speaking at a Manchester awards banquet, said a "different set of rules" may be needed to reduce terrorists' ability to use the Internet and free speech to recruit and get out their message.

"We need to get ahead of the curve before we actually lose a city, which I think could happen in the next decade," said Gingrich, a Republican who helped engineer the GOP's takeover of Congress in 1994.

Gingrich spoke to about 400 state and local power brokers last night at the annual Nackey S. Loeb First Amendment award dinner, which fetes people and organizations that stand up for freedom of speech.

We've already lost a city, you asshat! It was called New Orleans, and your buddies let it drown.

Freedom of Speech means that we have to put up with your verbal diarrhea, Newt. You want to go down that "Watch what you say" road, Newt? We'll start with you, Fella! Otherwise, STFU and answer the clue phone: curbing our freedom to fight those who hate our freedom is just pure D dumb.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, November 27, 2006

Get The Check Book, Dumbass Dubya Donors!

Yes, it's time to pony up $10 Million... or $20 Million, depending on your BushCo blackmailability...
Eager to begin refurbishing his tattered legacy, the President hopes to raise $500 million to build his library and a think tank at Southern Methodist University in Dallas. Bush lived in Dallas until he was elected governor of Texas in 1995.

Bush sources with direct knowledge of library plans told the Daily News that SMU and Bush fund-raisers hope to get half of the half billion from what they call "megadonations" of $10 million to $20 million a pop.

Bush loyalists have already identified wealthy heiresses, Arab nations and captains of industry as potential "mega" donors and are pressing for a formal site announcement - now expected early in the new year.

I have to admit (being a TCU grad) that I find it funny that SMU is getting BushCo bitchslapped with the idiot's... um, library.

As for "donations" from Arab nations? What a legacy!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Get The Check Book, Dumbass Dubya Donors!

Yes, it's time to pony up $10 Million... or $20 Million, depending on your BushCo blackmailability...
Eager to begin refurbishing his tattered legacy, the President hopes to raise $500 million to build his library and a think tank at Southern Methodist University in Dallas. Bush lived in Dallas until he was elected governor of Texas in 1995.

Bush sources with direct knowledge of library plans told the Daily News that SMU and Bush fund-raisers hope to get half of the half billion from what they call "megadonations" of $10 million to $20 million a pop.

Bush loyalists have already identified wealthy heiresses, Arab nations and captains of industry as potential "mega" donors and are pressing for a formal site announcement - now expected early in the new year.

I have to admit (being a TCU grad) that I find it funny that SMU is getting BushCo bitchslapped with the idiot's... um, library.

As for "donations" from Arab nations? What a legacy!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Snarky Sermon on the Blog: Guerilla "Christian" Marketing

I don't recall this tidbit in Genesis, do you?

"And the Lord created a never-ending biz market, called 'Slap The Word Christian On Your Product, And The Faithful Will Clamor For It.' And the Lord saw that business was good, indeed."

Sigh. Evidently, the Lord didn't include any taste limits in His creation of Guerilla "Christian" Marketing techniques. (Look left, gentle reader.)

So what's a savvy software company to do? Ignore the fascist fundie demographic and promote a free universal, egalitarian product for everyone?

Not hardly. As angrykeyboarder explains...
What is it about Christians? Why do they have to continually throw their religion in everyone’s face? --snip--

First off, why can’t “Christian” Linux users simply install “Christan” software on their computers the way they do on Windows etc? Does Microsoft produce “Christian Windows”? No, they don’t have to. Apparently enough Christians can figure out how to install “Christian” software in Windows.

I think it’s just silly. And being that I am one of those who gets annoyed as hell at Christians shoving their beliefs in front of everyone all the time, I just don’t like the idea, period.

You don’t suppose that we’ll have Hindu Ubuntu, Buddhist Ubuntu, Islam Ubuntu or Wicca Ubuntu do you?

I doubt it. Only Christians pull off this kind of crap (OK, not all Christians but a significant vocal number of them) and far too often.

WTF is with these people anyway?

Maybe Pat Robertson could promote “Christian Ubuntu” on his little TV show. Cool idea eh?

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go forth today and consider how many people will ignore a free offer unless it has the word Christian on it... and how many millions of Google hits you get when you search for "Christian software."

I mean it, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, November 25, 2006

War On Christmas (2006 Edition)

When you're accosted by those "Oh, woe is me! Evil secularites are trying to take Jesus away from us" fanatics this year, hand them this editorial, written by a bona fide Baptist minister:
A modest Christmas proposal

With Thanksgiving Day behind us, we now enter the Christmas season at full gallop. Of course, Christmas has been peeking out here and there since Halloween, but now it's official. It's all here — the shopping, the lights, the traffic, the music and the controversy.

Controversy? Yes, sadly it's true.

With the arrival of the Christmas season we can get ready for the next round of "Saving Merry Christmas." For the past several years, certain Christian groups like the American Family Association, Focus on the Family, Reclaiming America and so on, have discovered a fundraising bonanza attacking retail establishments that use the phrase "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" in their advertising.

The rationale seems to be that unless we bully retail outlets into saying what we want them to say, we will lose Christmas. It's just another way, believers fear, that secularists and the pluralists will pry Christ loose from our culture.

The stores, for their part, are simply trying to market to everyone. Christians and Christmas may dominate, but they are not the only game in town. Stores are trying to make money. They want to appeal to as many customers as they can.

So let's think about this for minute. If Christmas is in danger of being lost because department stores don't put "Merry Christmas" in their ads, does that mean that retail is responsible for the gospel story? Will there be a person somewhere who will never understand Christmas because the full-page ad started with "Happy Holidays?" Do we really want to put that burden on the stores at the mall?

If there's a danger of losing the meaning of Christmas, it's not the fault of retail — the failure will be found much closer to home.

So I have a modest Christmas proposal. Let's don't fight the "Saving Merry Christmas" war this year. Let's tell all those Christian activist groups out there that keep the controversy going for their own benefit that we are weary of their made-up battles. Let's tell them that the meaning of Christmas does not depend on what's happening at our local department store.

If Christians want to say Merry Christmas to everyone they see, let them. If clerks are trained to say "Happy Holidays," let's praise them for doing the job they are hired to do. And if retail stores want to recognize the diversity that characterizes our nation, then let's thank them for including everybody.

If we are worried that we are losing the meaning of Christmas, then let's make sure the children in our homes know the story by teaching it to them. Instead of shopping until we drop, why not do something Jesus might do like visit the sick in the hospital. Or instead of standing in long lines waiting to buy the latest gadget, why not spend a day serving food to homeless people — another Jesus thing, you know.

And when the flyer or the e-mail alert arrives with an urgent plea to "Save Merry Christmas" from all the bad people out there trying to undermine our faith, let's send it back with a note which reads: "We're too busy celebrating the meaning of Christmas to bother with you right now. But Happy Holidays!"

James L. Evans is pastor of Auburn First Baptist Church in Auburn. He can be contacted through his Web site,

I really like this Baptist guy! He's no fool.

But I'll bet the ranch that O'Reilly won't want him mucking up this year's WOC!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, November 24, 2006

Flags Of Our Fathers

Stupid people do the damndest things. Today's example: The fascist idiots in Pahrump, Nevada...

BACKLASH: Pahrump flag ban won't fly

Sheriff refuses to enforce law targeting immigrants


Pahrump resident Bob Tamburrino flies the Italian and Polish flags he and his wife raised on Saturday to protest a new town ordinance that disallows the flying of a foreign flag by itself, makes English the town's official language and denies town benefits to illegal immigrants.

PAHRUMP -- In a small act of civil disobedience, Pahrump residents Bob and Liese Tamburrino on Saturday raised an Italian flag and a Polish flag over their garage.

In a not-so-civil act, a vandal or vandals, in the middle of the night less than 24 hours later, egged their Italian flag.

"They probably thought it was a Mexican flag," Bob Tamburrino said of the Italian flag, which was chosen as a tribute to his ancestry.

The Pahrump Town Board on Nov. 14 adopted an ordinance that bans the flying of foreign flags by themselves.

The board also declared English the town's official language and denied unspecified, and apparently nonexistent, town benefits to undocumented immigrants.

The Tamburrinos, who are incensed at the ordinance they say is unconstitutional and smacks of racism, called police after the egging even though they could have been ticketed for violating the new ordinance.

But officers did not cite the couple, and Nye County Sheriff Tony DeMeo said Wednesday that he has no plans to ever enforce the ordinance.

DeMeo also called it unconstitutional.

"The sheriff is a constitutional office," he said. "My job is to make sure when we enforce something there's a constitutionality behind it."

The ordinance also is divisive, DeMeo said.

"I don't think passing an ordinance like this is healthy to the community. It's driving a wedge between certain segments of the population."

The American Civil Liberties Union of Nevada has threatened to sue the town over the ordinance.

But the issue could be moot come January. Four of Pahrump's five town board members, including the member who brought the ordinance forward, are leaving office at the end of the year.

The only remaining board member, Laurayne Murray, voted against the ordinance and on Wednesday said she believes the new board will overturn it.

The Tamburrinos said the Italian flag's similarity to that of Mexico probably confused the vandals, who may have targeted it as a way of enforcing the ordinance.

During the heated Nov. 14 meeting at which the ordinance was adopted, several proponents promised they would take it upon themselves to enforce the ordinance after Town Board Chairman Richard Billman called it unenforceable.

Since then, some Latino Pahrump residents have been harassed.

Lucero Enrriquez, a Mexican immigrant and the owner of Mi Ranchito market in Pahrump, received an anonymous postcard last week that said, in part, "We are sick to our stomachs of seeing Mexicans on every street walking with 2 or 3 kids and the mother has (2) more in her belly. ... You people are draining and abusing our welfare system and we are frankly sick of it."

George Romero, owner of Pahrump's Romero's Mexican restaurant, said he got a call on Friday from an unidentified man who told him, "If I didn't like the ordinance, I could get out of town."

Romero said he has heard of other similar incidents in Pahrump since the ordinance's passage.

"They are opening a can of hatred and prejudice," he said.

DeMeo discouraged people from taking the law into their own hands and said anyone who does so will be arrested.

"If you start victimizing a segment of our population, we will be there to arrest you," he said. "If anyone commits a crime because of someone else's ethnic background, they can face being arrested for hate crimes. We have a zero tolerance for that type of attitude."

Town board member Michael Miraglia, who brought the ordinance forward, said he was tired of encountering people who do not speak English.

He mentioned a specific incident at a restaurant in which a worker did not understand Miraglia's request for a napkin. Much more...

Long may it wave, y'all! And that includes the flags of all of our fathers, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving From WKRP!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Happy Turkey Day!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

If You Go Casting Asparagus At The President, You'll Be Screwn!

You guessed it! The freepers are at it again!

After the mid-term elections on Nov. 7th, one stupid freeper posted:

We're screwn!!!

Kinda hard to top that one, you'd think.

But Wait!

To: Irisshlass

"Why is when Americans go to London they start dogging the U.S. and our President?"

You have it exactly backwards: they go to London IN ORDER TO cast asparagus on this country and administration.

49 posted on 11/21/2006 5:02:25 PM PST by decal (We're all in the same boat - start bailing!)

Ah, Bush supporters...

The gift that just keeps on giving!

Congrats, decal! You're this week's Backside of the Bell Curve winner! by the way, would you like some Holland Days sauce with that?

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

The Next Time You Hear That "No One Could've Predicted..."

... Show them this:

How many millions of us took to the streets in the winter of 2002-2003? Yet, "no one could've predicted" that invading Iraq would be a ginormous, bloody mistake?

By the way, BushCo is still spying on anti-war peace groups.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, November 20, 2006

Republican Revenge: More Pain At The Pump

You knew it was coming, didn't you? The election is over, after all...

Gasoline prices up, end 3 month slump

The average price of a gallon of gasoline rose 5 cents, according to survey of 5,000 gas stations.

CAMARILLO, Calif. (CNN) -- Gasoline prices at U.S. pumps rose an average of a nickel a gallon over the last two weeks, ending three months of falling prices, according to a national survey released Sunday.

The Nov. 17 Lundberg Survey of about 5,000 gas stations across the country showed the average price of a gallon of self-serve regular gas was $2.23, a penny lower than the same week a year ago, publisher Trilby Lundberg told CNN.

Gas prices had fallen 84 cents in the previous 12 weeks, Lundberg said. The previous survey, taken on Nov. 3, showed the average at $2.18, she said.

Lundberg said the halt in price declines showed "a mini-glut" of crude oil that began accumulating in August with the end of the summer driving season has been "soaked up," leading to "a normalization" of supply and demand.

Oil's price collapse, more or less

"Crude oil prices and gasoline supply are in favor of gas price stability for now," Lundberg said.

Hm. Remember November, 2000?

Of course, you remember. Better add Electric Blanket next to Grandma's name on your holiday gift buying list...

She (Lundberg) added that she expects little pump price changes in the near term, unless the mild weather turns severe, causing a spike in heating oil prices. That spike would also increase all petroleum prices, Lundberg said.

Oil men and government: a volatile combination, indeed.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Snarky Sermon on the Blog: 'Be Fruitful And Multiply'... Or Else!

... Or else 'God's army' will be short-staffed. Think I'm kidding? No, you haven't just entered The Twilight Zone, y'all. This is the scriptural basis for the women of Quiverfull:


Red-Diaper Babies (Red-state voters).

Father knows best.

God- The Birth Controller.

Rhythm Method- The provenance of prostitutes.

Women who control their own bodies (aka 'the Lord's temple')- are seizing divine power.

Family Planning- the mother of abortion.

Maternal missionaries- Mothers with a military air will lead the Christian army to victory.

Heavy sigh...

Janet Wolfson is a 44-year-old mother of eight in Canton, Georgia. Tracie Moore, a 39-year-old midwife who lives in southern Kentucky, is mother to fourteen. Wendy Dufkin in Coxsackie has her thirteen. And while Jamie Stoltzfus, a 27-year-old Illinois mom, has only four children so far, she plans on bearing enough to populate "two teams." All four mothers are devoted to a way of life New York Times columnist David Brooks has praised as a new spiritual movement taking hold among exurban and Sunbelt families. Brooks called these parents "natalists" and described their progeny as a new wave of "Red-Diaper Babies"--as in "red state."

But Wolfson, Moore and thousands of mothers like them call themselves and their belief system "Quiverfull." They borrow their name from Psalm 127: "Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate." Quiverfull mothers think of their children as no mere movement but as an army they're building for God.

Quiverfull parents try to have upwards of six children. They home-school their families, attend fundamentalist churches and follow biblical guidelines of male headship--"Father knows best"--and female submissiveness. They refuse any attempt to regulate pregnancy. Quiverfull began with the publication of Rick and Jan Hess's 1989 book, A Full Quiver: Family Planning and the Lordship of Christ, which argues that God, as the "Great Physician" and sole "Birth Controller," opens and closes the womb on a case-by-case basis. Women's attempts to control their own bodies--the Lord's temple--are a seizure of divine power.

Though there are no exact figures for the size of the movement, the number of families that identify as Quiverfull is likely in the thousands to low tens of thousands. Its word-of-mouth growth can be traced back to conservative Protestant critiques of contraception--adherents consider all birth control, even natural family planning (the rhythm method), to be the province of prostitutes--and the growing belief among evangelicals that the decision of mainstream Protestant churches in the 1950s to approve contraception for married couples led directly to the sexual revolution and then Roe v. Wade.

"Our bodies are meant to be a living sacrifice," write the Hesses. Or, as Mary Pride, in another of the movement's founding texts, The Way Home: Beyond Feminism, Back to Reality, puts it, "My body is not my own." This rebuttal of the feminist health text Our Bodies, Ourselves is deliberate. Quiverfull women are more than mothers. They're domestic warriors in the battle against what they see as forty years of destruction wrought by women's liberation: contraception, women's careers, abortion, divorce, homosexuality and child abuse, in that order.

Pride argues that feminism is a religion in its own right, one that is inherently incompatible with Christianity. "Christians have accepted feminists' 'moderate' demands for family planning and careers while rejecting the 'radical' side of feminism--meaning lesbianism and abortion," writes Pride. "What most do not see is that one demand leads to the other. Feminism is a totally self-consistent system aimed at rejecting God's role for women. Those who adopt any part of its lifestyle can't help picking up its philosophy." "Family planning," Pride argues, "is the mother of abortion. A generation had to be indoctrinated in the ideal of planning children around personal convenience before abortion could be popular."

Instead of picketing clinics, Pride writes, Christians should fight abortion by demonstrating that children are an "unqualified blessing" by having as many as God gives them. Only a determination among Christian women to take up their submissive, motherly roles with a "military air" and become "maternal missionaries" will lead the Christian army to victory. Thus is Quiverfull part of Mary Pride's whole-cloth solution to women's liberation: embracing an opposing way of life as total and "self-consistent" as feminism, and turning back the tide on a society gone wrong by populating the world with right-thinking Christians.

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go forth today and remember Susan Smith, Andrea Yates, and the long line of 'God's temples' who begat them... and the ungodly things that happened --and will continue to happen-- to them and to their innocent children.

I mean it, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Deep Throat's House Is For Sale

I'm off to do battle with Metro Area traffic this morning (heading to Alexandria for French butter, if you really want to know).

Meanwhile, check out my cross-post at DC Housing Bubble Blues for the WaPo's posthumous hit piece on Mark Felt, now that a house he once lived in is on the market.

A pitiful attempt to paint the man as no big deal.

Heavy sigh.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, November 17, 2006

This Week's Backside Of The Bell Curve Winner!

This Quote explains it all...

"We expect from them the same level of cooperation we extended to President Clinton."

Senator Mitch McConnell (R-Liar)
(on the Hugh Hewitt Show)

Some days, you've just gotta laugh at these asshats.

But don't ever turn your back on them!

I mean it, damn it.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Talking Jesus Wins

Toys For Tots has decided to walk that lonesome highway.

Just remember, TFT. You've gotta walk it by yourself.


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Why Do The Marines Hate Jesus?

If English was good enough for Jesus...

Doesn't every mother's child want Santa to bring an English-speaking Jesus doll this year? The way the Farmers Branch- Davidian wannabe wingnuts of this country are reacting to the Marines' Toys For Tots policy (of not randomly handing out talking plastic Jesus dolls to children who might worship a different deity), you'd think the WOC (War On Christmas®) had infiltrated the US Military.

Toys for Tots rejects talking Jesus doll
By Associated Press

LOS ANGELES -- A talking Jesus doll has been turned down by the Marine Reserves' Toys for Tots program. A suburban Los Angeles company offered to donate 4,000 of the foot-tall dolls, which quote Bible verses, for distribution to needy children this holiday season.

The battery-powered Jesus is one of several dolls in the Messengers of Faith line manufactured by one2believe, a division of the Valencia-based Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Co., based on Biblical figures.

But the charity balked because of the dolls' religious nature.

Toys are donated to kids based on financial need and "we don't know anything about their background, their religious affiliations," said Bill Grein, vice president of Marine Toys for Tots Foundation, in Quantico, Va.

As a government entity, Marines "don't profess one religion over another," Grein said Tuesday. "We can't take a chance on sending a talking Jesus doll to a Jewish family or a Muslim family."

Not word one, however, about how much damned free publicity the Talking Jesus Doll company has generated with this scam.

Hint: WOM (word of mouth) advertising is free and easy.

You've been had again, English-Only Christians, and you don't even know it.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

All You Need To Know About
Rudolph William Louis Giuliani

Forget the scandals.

Forget the grating Sylvester The cat speech impediment.

Just remember...

"Thank God, George Bush is our president."

Rudy Giuliani

GOP Convention
August 30, 2004

The rest is gravy.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, November 13, 2006

Thank Bush! He Let Us Vote Last Week!

At least, that's what he said during his weekly radio address on Sunday:

One freedom that defines our way of life is the freedom to choose our leaders at the ballot box. We saw that freedom earlier this week, when millions of Americans went to the polls to cast their votes for a new Congress. Whatever your opinion of the outcome, all Americans can take pride in the example our democracy sets for the world by holding elections even in a time of war.

Well, I'm off to work in my Victory Garden. Then I have to scavenge for rubber tires, tin cans, and white sheets (to tear into strips for bandages). After that, I have to stand in line for my ration tickets...

While pResident Bush, who sounds like he regrets "allowing" our elections to take place last week, should spend the day scavenging for a clue, instead of meeting with his daddy's friends... You know, the ones who'll try to save his ass from history's impartial pen.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Snarky Sermon on the Blog: God's In The Hizzle!

Remember when the holier-than-thou condemned Rock & Roll as Satanic? When they claimed that long hair and electric guitars were tickets to Hell... and then started pouring billions & billions into the Christian Rock Music Industry?


Hip-Hop Worshippers Hope to Spread the Rap

By Belinda Goldsmith

NEW YORK - First came the hip-hop Mass, then a hip-hop prayer book, and now a group of hip-hop Christians are hoping to spread the word across the United States with a new CD that puts their service to music.

New York Episcopal priest the Rev. Timothy Holder, who goes by the rap name "Poppa T," created the HipHopEMass two years ago after an armed hostage situation at his South Bronx church made him focus on the neighborhood's younger generations.

Wait! There's More!
"I used to think hip-hop was hateful," he said. "But hip-hip really is a culture. It is about social change and justice. We're here to promote the love and strength you find in hip-hip, not the hate, misogyny and crime."

The success of his HipHopEMass services prompted him to pull together "The Hip Hop Prayer Book," with morning and evening prayers, psalms, Bible stories -- in hip-hop language.

For example instead of the 23rd Psalm "The Lord is my shepherd," his flock says: "The Lord is all that, I need for nothing, he allows me to chill."

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go forth today, knowing that the times, they are a-changin'... Again. Still.

I mean it, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Bipartisanship, My Ass!

I was going to post something seriously snarky about this whole "Dems must now behave in a bipartisan way" craptacular rightwing talking point, but Molly Ivins beat me to it. And she's got the snarky Texas angle (sweetness simply dripping with sarcasm) down pat:


AUSTIN, Texas -- The sheer pleasure of getting lessons in etiquette from Karl Rove and the right-wing media passeth all understanding. Ever since 1994, the Republican Party has gone after Democrats with the frenzy of a foaming mad dog. There was the impeachment of Bill Clinton, not to mention the trashing of both Clinton and his wife -- accused of everything from selling drugs to murder -- all orchestrated by that paragon of manners, Tom DeLay.

Media Matters collected some gems of fairness. For instance, Monica Crowley with MSNBC, in the wake of John Kerry's botched program, astutely observed "how lucky we are that he was not elected president. ... The Republicans remain the grown-ups, the responsible ones on national security."

How many dead Americans has this grown-up war resulted in?

And how darling of Fox's Juan Williams, upon learning polls show the people favor Democrats on taxes, to say, "To me, that's crazy."

And how many times did Chris Matthews use the Republican talking points about Nancy Pelosi? Extremist, uncooperative, incapable, unwilling to work with the president.

So after 12 years of tolerating lying, cheating and corruption, the press is prepared to lecture Democrats on how to behave with bipartisan manners.

Given Bush's record with the truth, this bipartisanship sounds like a bad idea on its face. Go back to the first year of the administration, when Bush double-crossed Ted Kennedy in the No Child Left Behind Act. Think about it: You've said at the outset of your administration that you need cooperation to get anything done. Then you double-cross one of the senior senators of the other party when your re-education and labor agenda is dependent on him?

These people are not only dishonest -- they're not even smart. Not that I recommend nailing them at every turn, but I wouldn't be surprised if they try to do it to Democrats. If what Republicans have been practicing is bipartisanship, West Texas just flooded.

O.K., here's what the D's have going for them. New kids. Easy, popular first moves -- for example, increasing the minimum wage. Republicans so inept that it's painful. You want to look at some really, really basic legislation, try fixing the Medicare prescription drug bill. Or the bankruptcy bill. Or new dollar and trade policies.

Then we get to the real meat of this election. There are all manner of shuffle steps and politically shrewd thing for the D's to do. But now is not the time to be clever. The Democrats won this election because we are involved in a disastrous war. We know how to do this: Declare victory, and go home.

I noticed when Republicans are forced to talk about how to end this, they tend to announce that it's all hopeless: They have no ideas at all. Thanks, guys. Of all the options, I would say splitting Iraq into three states is least advisable. First, it puts us in the position of screwing the Kurds once again. Second, Turkey has serious objections to a Kurdistan. Third, Turkey is not a militia. Fourth, then you give Iran and Saudi Arabia a pawn apiece. And there'd be an unimaginable amount of future hassle.

Do I have any good ideas? Yes, but it's not a solution. We need to start the Middle East peace process again. Because it's the right thing to do. Because it's what Bush should have done to begin with. Because we have to start somewhere.

So the next time you hear R's blaming the D's for not getting their congressional agenda items accomplished, just remember who's been in charge all this time, and ask yourself...

Why should Democrats put up with this shit now that they're in power?

The people didn't desert the R Party in droves, simply to expect more of the same. They gave the D's a cheat-proof margin, in order to send those corrupt, criminal R's the... er, boot.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, November 10, 2006

This Week's Backside Of The Bell Curve Winners!

And the tune that defined my generation...

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Bush's Morning After Press Conference Catastrophe

If you watched it, you're probably still wondering if what you saw and heard was really the freakin' president admitting to lying, slamming the new Speaker of the House because she's a woman, and shooting Karl Rove in the proverbial head.

Pop some corn and read the transcript.

Here's just one of the weird bits:

Bush: We will work with members of Congress; we will work with the Baker- Hamilton Commission. My point is, is that while we have been adjusting, we will continue to adjust to achieve the objective. And I believe that's what the American people want.

Somehow it seeped in their conscious that my attitude was just simply "stay the course." "Stay the course" means, let's get the job done, but it doesn't mean staying stuck on a strategy or tactics that may not be working. So perhaps I need to do a better job of explaining that we're constantly adjusting. And so there's fresh perspective -- so what the American people hear today is we're constantly looking for fresh perspective.


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

A Note To Republicans Today

Dear Republicans,

Remember your own 2000 election advice?

Move On!

Get Over It!



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

You Can't Complain Unless You...

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, November 06, 2006

Will Bush Take Ted Haggard's Weekly Phone Call Today?

Somehow, I doubt it.

"Pastor Ted, who talks to President George W. Bush or his advisers every Monday, is a handsome forty-eight-year-old Indianan, most comfortable in denim.

Don't forget to vote tomorrow.

Your life (or the life of a loved one) might just depend on it.

Best bar bet in the world
: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Snarky Sermon on the Blog: If Your Wife Looks Like Barbara Bush, You'll Hire A Gay Hooker

Today's Announcement: As of today, I'm suspending the anonymous comment option on this blog. If you still want to spam my inbox with "You're taking the Bible out of context" crap (referring to my King James citation signature line at the bottom of each post), you'll have to stand up for Jesus and sign in. No more hiding behind the cross and flinging your anonymous feces. As for the Old testament Delilah episode, do you really think a woman in the Bible would be portrayed as having the manly power to deprive a real man of his... er, manhood? Especially after that whole Eve seduced Adam episode? That would mean that OT men really weren't very smart if they let it happen again in the NT. Speaking of evil women...

Today's Sermon: Ted Haggard's Wife Probably Caused Him To Hire A Gay Hooker & Made Him Do Whatever It Is That You Do With Meth

Today's Guest Minister: Pastor Mark Driscoll of Seattle's Mars Hills mega-church-wannabe

From Driscoll's blog:
My suspicion is that as our culture becomes more sexually rebellious, things will only get worse. Therefore, as a means of encouragement, I would like to share some practical suggestions for fellow Christian leaders, especially young men:

* The only way to stay away from sin is to stay close to Jesus. Colossians says that we are prone to making a lot of rules but that if we don’t deal with the issues in our heart, we are fooling ourselves; holiness cannot be obtained by the sheer force of white-knuckled will power. More than anyone, a Christian leader needs time with Jesus in repentance, for their own soul and not just to make them a better leader or teacher. Death comes to every Christian leader who goes to Jesus and Scripture for purely functional and not relational purposes.

* Most pastors I know do not have satisfying, free, sexual conversations and liberties with their wives. At the risk of being even more widely despised than I currently am, I will lean over the plate and take one for the team on this. It is not uncommon to meet pastors’ wives who really let themselves go; they sometimes feel that because their husband is a pastor, he is therefore trapped into fidelity, which gives them cause for laziness. A wife who lets herself go and is not sexually available to her husband in the ways that the Song of Songs is so frank about is not responsible for her husband’s sin, but she may not be helping him either.

* Every pastor needs a pastor. Too often the pastor is seen as a sort of little God and his wife as some glorified First Lady. Every pastor needs a pastor with whom he can regularly have accountability and the confession of sin. Every pastor’s wife also needs a godly woman chosen for her maturity and trustworthiness.

* No church should tolerate sexual sin among its leaders. Christians cannot be guilty of playing plank-speck with non-Christians on matters of pornography and homosexuality and be guilty of going soft on sin in their own leadership. As Paul says, nothing can be done out of partiality or favoritism.

Pastors should have their office at the church and their study at home. There is no reason a pastor should be sitting alone at the church at odd hours (e.g., early morning and late evening) to study when anyone can drop in for any reason and have access to him. Instead, a pastor should come into the office for scheduled meetings and work from home on tasks such as emails, planning, studying, sermon preparation, etc. I spend the vast majority of my time working from home. Some years ago when I did not, I found that lonely people, some of them hurting single moms wanting a strong man to speak into their life, would show up to hang out and catch time with me. It was shortly thereafter that I brought my books home and purchased a laptop and cell phone so that I was not tied to the church office.

* Pastors have the right to protect their own home. This means that if someone keeps dropping by unannounced and is unwelcome, or a flirtatious woman shows up to a Bible study at the pastor’s home, the pastor and his family have the right to request that they never return. The pastor’s home simply cannot be viewed as yet another piece of church property that is accessible to anyone who desires it. Rather, the pastor’s home must be a safe place for the pastor and his family without the wrong people rudely calling and dropping by.

* Churches should consider returning to heterosexual male assistants who are like Timothy and Titus to serve alongside pastors. Too often the pastor’s assistant is a woman who, if not sexually involved, becomes too emotionally involved with the pastor as a sort of emotional and practical second wife. I have been blessed with a trustworthy heterosexual male assistant who can travel with me, meet with me, etc., without the fear of any temptations or even false allegations since we have beautiful wives and eight children between us.

* Pastors need to protect their email and have it screened for accountability. For me, this means that no email but an email from one of our pastors comes directly to me. This also means that I leave my email account open at home and my wife regularly checks it to get schedule information, etc., because I have nothing to hide. I also do not have a secondary email account from which to build a secret identity.

* Pastors need to carefully protect their cell phone number. If that private number gets out, too many of the wrong people have access to the pastor. Not only should the cell phone number of a pastor be given out to only a few people, he should also consider eliminating his voicemail and simply have calls forwarded to his assistant. In this way people will not become too informal with the pastor and if the pastor knows someone is trouble (e.g., a flirtatious woman), he can see that on his caller ID and simply refuse to answer the call or have to deal with a voicemail.

* Pastors must speak freely and frankly with their wives about their temptations. Without this there really can be no walking in the light and sin always grows in darkness.

* Pastors must not travel alone; the anonymity and fatigue of the road is too great a temptation for many men. A pastor should take his wife, an older child, an assistant, or fellow leader with him. If this cannot be afforded then travel should not be undertaken.

* Any pastor who is drifting toward serious sexual sin should have the courage, love for God, devotion to his family, and respect for his church to simply fall on his sword and resign before he goes down in flames. He must get the professional help he needs without fear of losing his position as a pastor. It is much better to be an honest Christian than a wicked pastor.

* Lastly, the big issue is a love and fear of God. Only a man really knows his heart and whether or not he loves and fears God above all else. Without this a man will fail to live for God’s glory, and it is only a matter of time.

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go forth today and remember not to take any wooden nickels.

I mean it, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Saddam's Appeal Starts Tomorrow

Here's what I want to know: Why is Saddam being tried for 20 year-old crimes against his own people and not for the alleged crimes which supposedly triggered BushCo's invasion and occupation of Iraq?

If Saddam is such a bad-assed, international terrorist dude-- captured by US armed forces--, why isn't his bad-ass butt sitting in a courtroom in The Hague?

Something stinks in Baghdad. Dick Cheney BIG TIME.

Meanwhile, Saddam's appeal will probably begin as soon as the verdict is read... However, Republicans will cry, "See! We told you we needed to spend trillions of our tax dollars to take him out! It was all worth it! GAWD bless the president! Amen!"

And many more of our troops will pay for this Republican political November Not- Much-OF- A- Surprise with their lives.

Truly heavy sigh.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, November 03, 2006

Julius, Ethel & George W.

Remember when George W. joked about looking under his Oval Office desk for Saddam Hussein's alleged WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION?

Hardy Har har har, y'all. As we say in Texas (fully cognizant of how adjectives and adverbs are used correctly): "Real funny." (By the way, freeper lurkers... That was sarcasm.)

Well, that same George W. who joked about WMDs personally approved what he thought was a scathingly brilliant suggestion by (See? We really do understand adverbs in Texas) US Rep. Peter Hoekstra (R- Pig Ignorance, IL) and Sen. Pat Roberts (R- KKKansas) to post "a basic guide to building an atom bomb" on the US Government's official website. And just for good measure, Hoekstra, Roberts & Bush threw in formulæ for Sarin and Tabun (nerve agents).
On March 16, after the documents’ release was approved, Mr. Negroponte’s office issued a terse public announcement including a disclaimer that remained on the Web site: “The U.S. government has made no determination regarding the authenticity of the documents, validity or factual accuracy of the information contained therein, or the quality of any translations, when available.”

On April 18, about a month after the first documents were made public, Mr. Hoekstra issued a news release acknowledging “minimal risks,” but saying the site “will enable us to better understand information such as Saddam’s links to terrorism, weapons of mass destruction and violence against the Iraqi people.” He added: “It will allow us to leverage the Internet to enable a mass examination as opposed to limiting it to a few exclusive elites.”

Yesterday, before the site was shut down, Jamal Ware, a spokesman for Mr. Hoekstra, said the government had “developed a sound process to review the documents to ensure sensitive or dangerous information is not posted.” Later, he said the complaints about the site “didn’t sound like a big deal,” adding, “We were a little surprised when they pulled the plug.”

The precise review process that led to the posting of the nuclear and chemical-weapons documents is unclear. But in testimony before Congress last spring, a senior official from Mr. Negroponte’s office, Daniel Butler, described a “triage” system used to sort out material that should remain classified. Even so, he said, the policy was to “be biased towards release if at all possible.” Government officials say all the documents in Arabic have received at least a quick review by Arabic linguists.

Some of the first posted documents dealt with Iraq’s program to make germ weapons, followed by a wave of papers on chemical arms.

At the United Nations in New York, the chemical papers raised alarms at the Monitoring, Verification and Inspection Commission, which had been in charge of searching Iraq for all unconventional arms, save the nuclear ones.

In April, diplomats said, the commission’s acting chief weapons inspector, Demetrius Perricos, lodged an objection with the United States mission to the United Nations over the document that dealt with the nerve agents tabun and sarin.

Soon, the document vanished from the Web site. On June 8, diplomats said, Mr. Perricos told the Security Council of how risky arms information had shown up on a public Web site and how his agency appreciated the American cooperation in resolving the matter.

In September, the Web site began posting the nuclear documents, and some soon raised concerns. On Sept. 12, it posted a document it called “Progress of Iraqi nuclear program circa 1995.” That description is potentially misleading since the research occurred years earlier.

The site was taken down yesterday. November 2. If that doesn't just scream "We fucked up Dick Cheney Big Time," I don't know what would.

And don't even get me started on BushCo's well known disdain for translators.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, y'all!

Julius and Ethel Rosenberg weren't even executed for actually passing secrets. They were fried because they were successfully prosecuted for "conspiracy to commit," y'all).

As for Bush, Hoekstra & Roberts...

Idiots. The lot of them.

Mean. Stupid. Dangerous to the max.

And a damned sight more interested in banging their own political drums than protecting our country.

History will correctly point to George W. Bush as the US president who gave Nuclear secrets to the world. (North Korea and Iran have probably sent thank you notes.)

If that's not an impeachable offense, what the fuck is?

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Leave It To Bartcop

I swear, sometimes it's like Ol' Bart is reading my mind. From the Wednesday, Nov 1, 2006 Vol 1868 - Doughy Pigboy edition:

"We have a war that we're losing. We have a doubling of the debt of the next generation.
We have the suspension of habeas corpus and the authorization of torture. So, of course,
we're talking about phone sex lines and prostitutes in Tennessee. The GOP must change
the subject because on the real issues, they're going to lose."
-- Andrew Sullivan, Link

Andrew, just to be sure you know - we don't want you on our side.
Stay over there with the nasty-ass cavemen and the Fascist gay-bashers

You're not welcome on the side of good and decent people.

I'm with Bart on this, y'all.

Andrew Sullivan made his rightwing bed a long time ago. Just because they throw him under the bus doesn't mean that we have to take him.

Peddle your shit somewhere else, Andrew. And take that sotted slouch, Christopher Hitchens with you.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Bush's Light Going Out In Georgia?

When the president can't fill this venue in Crackerville, Georgia, no amount of spin can help.

Bush campaigns for Republicans in rural Georgia, find (sic) lots of empty seats
The Associated Press

Published: October 31, 2006

PERRY, Georgia President George W. Bush spent a second day in a row campaigning in rural Georgia, targeting a shrinking slice of America where Republicans think he still can help their cause in next week's elections.

Bush is spending the final days of the campaign in small town venues, where White House officials hope he can inspire people to vote Republican on Nov. 7.

Polls show Republicans struggling to hold onto power in Congress as voters express dissatisfaction with Bush's policies in the Iraq war and with congressional scandals. Democrats hope to capitalize on those views by winning control of the House of Representatives, where they need to pick up 15 seats, and the Senate, where they need a gain of six. All 435 House seats and 33 of the Senate's 100 seats are at stake.

Bush didn't fill the arena at the Georgia National Fairgrounds on Tuesday — plenty of seats were empty in the back along with nearly half of the vast floor space. But those who came out for the rally were enthusiastic, applauding his calls for tax cuts and against gay marriage. "We don't want Washington Democrats running the House of Representatives," Bush said from a stage decorated with hay bales, pumpkins and a billboard-size American flag.

Washington Democrats?

Isn't Bush a Washington Republican?

What a crock!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--