Delilah Boyd

Today's Therapy Session

2009-03-18T07:28:00.001-04:00

A tool you can use:

Why didn't I think of this?

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

O'Bama Family Fountain

2009-03-17T11:23:00.003-04:00

Yep, it's March 17th again.

This year, the O'Bama family has brought a Chicago tradition to DC:

Cute.

And oh, so trite.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Silly Saturday: Be Careful Out There!

2009-03-07T08:14:00.003-05:00

Have A Silly Saturday!

And don't forget to set your clocks forward one hour tonight!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

I Have 1 Word For Jindal Regarding Volcano Monitoring

2009-02-26T09:07:00.006-05:00

Bobby Jindal (R- Idiculous) thought he was being Oh, So Clever when he tried to make fun of President O's pledge to spend $140 million on volcano monitoring.

Here's that 1 word, Jindal: Pompeii

And Jindal is supposed to be a Rhodes Scholar?

The people who monitor volcanoes also monitor hurricanes, Bobby. They're called scientists, you asshat.

Volcanoes, of course, aren't the only potential natural disaster that scientists monitor to give people warnings of imminent danger. Hurricanes, tornado-producing storms, earthquakes, tsunamis and flooding events are also watched and forecast.

The idiot from Louisiana strikes again.

Truly heaviest of sighs.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

The Washington Post Calls Jindal "Downright Strange"

2009-02-25T16:29:00.004-05:00

From The WaPo:

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal didn't stand a chance. The rising Republican star delivered his party's response to President Obama's hour-long address and simply didn't rise to the occasion. Where Obama in tone and message was relentlessly positive, Jindal's relentless utterance of "Americans can do anything" masked a Debbie Downer negativism that permeated his speech. And coming after Obama's boffo performance, Jindal's Don Knotts-like "golly gee willikers" story-telling and cadence was, how does one put this delicately, downright strange.

You know, some people are like slinkies: they're good for nothin'!

But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

Truly heavy sigh.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Silly Saturday: Obama Sushi, Anyone?

2009-02-21T08:28:00.003-05:00

The translation of the text is here.

Have a Silly Saturday!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

How Was YOUR Day?

2009-02-17T19:42:00.002-05:00

Kinda makes my major complaints of the day seem ridiculous.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

There Are Two Schools Of Thought On Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T06:24:00.004-05:00

This one...

And this one...

No matter, though.

There's always chocolate!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Silly Saturday

2009-01-31T07:55:00.002-05:00

Oh, the silly things you find on the web...

Really silly graffiti.

Fugly (and decidedly silly) craft projects.

And seriously silly failures (with pictures).

Have a silly Saturday!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Here's A Hint, Obama...

2009-01-30T08:46:00.004-05:00

The exterior doors at the White House are the ones with Marine guards standing in front of them. Do you see a Marine guard, Mr. President?

No, that's an ornamental tree in a planter box, sir.

No, sir. Marine guards don't take breaks and leave the doors unattended.

By the way...

Clue #2: Doors have hinges; windows don't.

Heavy sigh.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

How's Your Weather?

2009-01-27T08:06:00.003-05:00

We're having a happy little snow this morning.

Of course, local weather hairdos are predicting doom, gloom and horrible road conditions... because of 2" of the white stuff.

Republicans and weather reporters: trying to remain relevant in DC today.

Heavy sigh.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Today's Sermon: Do The Horses Want To Be Purified By Fire, Too?

2009-01-25T08:18:00.003-05:00

Ah, Spain! Where the truly religious demonstrate their glory to God annually by riding horses through flames... in a Saint Anthony purification ceremony.

St. Anthony, the finder of lost objects, became a Franciscan because he wanted to shed his blood for Christ and become a martyr. What a guy! What better way to make sure you'd be remembered throughout history?

And it worked. Anthony died at age 36 in 1231 and was canonized less than a year later...

And we're still taking about him today.

Oh, yeah. When "the heretics" wouldn't listen to Fr. "Death-Wish" Antony, he preached to the fishes.

No kidding.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and beware the martyr wannabes and their followers... because they want to die and they don't care if they take you with them.

And make them stop abusing innocent animals during their weird-assed religious rituals, too.

I mean it, damn it!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

A Fitting Tribute To George W. Bush

2009-01-23T07:48:00.001-05:00

Tee hee.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Good Riddance To Howard Dean (aka Rubbish)

2009-01-22T08:21:00.004-05:00

Hillary Rodham Clinton has been confirmed as Secretary Of State (94-2), and Howard Dean has been replaced by Tim Kaine as DNC Chairman.

DNC formally elects Kaine chairman

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Democratic National Committee has elected Tim Kaine as the party's new chairman.

The vote was a formality and the outcome was expected.

President Barack Obama chose the Virginia governor for the post earlier this month. Kaine is a longtime ally who endorsed Obama for president in early 2007.

Kaine will serve as chairman on a part-time basis until his governor's term is up. He was elected to a four-year term in 2005.

The DNC post also is a four-year term.

So long, Howard! Your work is now done, isn't it? Enjoy your historical role as the man who rigged the Democratic Party's 2008 presidential primary election.

And don't let the screen door hit you in the ass on your way out.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Mrs. O + Gold Sequins = Sore Thumb

2009-01-21T08:20:00.002-05:00

Vera Wang is still weeping...

Yikes. Looks like Barack picked her up on an H ST corner just before sunup.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

In Case Of An Actual Emergency...

2009-01-20T11:27:00.002-05:00

Good thing we aren't experiencing an actual emergency here on Capitol Hill today. We are experiencing:

No Sprint cell-to-cell service.

Spotty internet connections.

Red Line Metro shutdowns.

Ambulances stranded in traffic.

1.5 million people on the mall and a waaay bigger crowd along the inaugural parade route.

The best thing happening at the Capitol: Holy Joe Lieberman is getting booed. Big time. And Big Time Dick Cheney looks like hammered shit. On toast. Looks like he's had a stroke. That lame "he strained his back moving boxes" story is laughable. The last two things Cheney picked up were A.) a highball glass; and B.) a shotgun.

Wait. I lie. The funniest thing is George H.W. Bush walking like Danny DeVito in that Batman movie where he played the Penguin. No explanation yet as to why.

Waddle, waddle, H.W.!

They're introducing W. and Dick. Gotta go.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

"You Suck, W.!"

2009-01-20T08:07:00.002-05:00

If you haven't seen Dick, you won't recognize the sentiment expressed in today's post title. Watch All The President's Men immediately before you watch Dick. You'll thank me for the suggestion.

Anyway, Sugar & I had the same idea for today's farewell to W.:

By the way, people have been walking down my street all night long... on their way to the Capitol for the Obama Show at noon today.

Yawn. I'm sleepy.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

George W. Bush: "I Am Not A Crook"

2009-01-16T16:11:00.003-05:00

No, I didn't watch the last Bush gasp of a thankfully dying presidency last night.

Neither did Ezra Klein, but he did have this to say:

A FAILURE.

I didn't watch the President's final speech. In fact, I didn't even think to watch it. I don't care to hear the tinny defenses. I don't care to rebut the desperate rationalizations. I don't care what a highly trained team of speechwriters can do with the data furnished by a highly trained team of political hacks who are working with the themes developed by a highly trained team of pollsters. At this point, the facts of the case are clear. Because George W. Bush was president, innocent people died in large numbers. Because George W. Bush was president, the earth warmed and disaster edged nearer. Because George W. Bush was president, more children live in poverty. Because George W. Bush was president, the rich wield more power. Because George W. Bush was president, more people hate America. Because George W. Bush was president, more Americans view the presidency cynically. Because George W. Bush was president, this country is worse off, and this world is worse off. He betrayed us. I have no interest in engaging the debate that asks whether he was a cynical monster or a hapless fool. It is enough to say he was a failure, and leave it at that. He can spend the rest of his life giving speeches to justify his actions. But he will never be able to drown out the roar of his record.

Sums up my disgust quite succinctly.

Thanks, Ezra.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

The Last Bushism? Don't Hold Your Breath

2009-01-15T08:45:00.003-05:00

From The Daily View:

From President George Bush's press conference Monday:
"I'm telling you there's an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That's the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best."

Do what?

That's what he said, View.

However, don't assume that George W. will refrain from being an evil idiot after he leaves DC next week, OK? He's like a broken record.

Psst! If you're too young to understand the broken record analogy, click here.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Which Would Look Better In Your Living Room Window?

2009-01-14T07:11:00.004-05:00

This?

Or This?

Tacky is definitely in the eye of the beholder.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

George W.'s Last-Minute Infomercial

2009-01-13T07:20:00.003-05:00

That's right!

George W. has asked the networks for 15 minutes of free air time this Thursday night.

For 15 minutes only!

Your last chance to see and hear George W. Failure try to con the American people into believing he's not an evil idiot.

What a crock.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

George W., Of Course, Had No Idea...

2009-01-12T07:47:00.002-05:00

...that his plane trip on Saturday was his last aboard Air Force One.

Until a reporter pointed it out.

Heaviest of sighs.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Bush To-Do List: 1. Ruin The Country; 2. Buy New China

2009-01-09T04:31:00.002-05:00

You have got to be kidding me. My Bush Countdown Clock is almost down to single digits, and now this?

The first lady was careful not to mention the price tag when she introduced the new presidential plates: one, a table set of formal china in white, green and gold; the other for the residence painted with magnolias in honor of the old trees outside the White House windows.

Laura Bush said she and her husband plan to fly straight to the Bush ranch Jan. 20 and will move to their new residence in Dallas "once the paint dries."

White House press secretary Dana Perino made little of the first lady's timing to introduce the new china, saying there's "no time but the present."

The White House worried that general wear and tear had taken a toll on its fragile China collections and Perino says the Bushes took some time to decide on a new design.

General wear and tear?

What have there been... 5 or 6 state dinners during the last 8 years?

And riddle me this: Who will want to eat food plated on top of a big old magnolia blossom?

Laura Bush: her taste is all in her mouth.

But you already knew that, didn't you?

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

The Coolest News Story In Ages

2009-01-08T17:32:00.003-05:00

Charming!

A little boy teaches other Ethiopian children how to read.

And there's a donkey-led bookmobile, too.

Cool!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

The US Constitution Recognizes Senator Roland Burris

2009-01-07T08:24:00.003-05:00

The Moral v Legal arguments for and against recognizing and seating the new senator from Illinois make great cable TV debate; however, as anyone who's ever read Antigone has learned the hard way, moral arguments won't save you in a court of law.

Ahem. The dean of the UC Irvine law school concurs:

The Supreme Court's conclusion could not be clearer or more on point: "In short, both the intention of the framers, to the extent that it can be determined, and an examination of basic principles of our democratic system persuade us that the Constitution does not vest in the Congress a discretionary power to deny membership by a majority vote."

The desire of Senate Democrats, and even Obama, to keep Blagojevich from picking the new senator from Illinois is understandable -- a federal attorney arrested the governor on charges of trying to sell the appointment for personal gain. Although Burris is untainted by the scandal, any selection made by Blagojevich is suspect.

But the taint of Blagojevich's alleged crimes does not justify ignoring the Constitution. For the last eight years, the Bush administration has ignored or twisted the Constitution to serve what it believed were higher ends. It would be an enormous mistake, as a new administration prepares to take charge, for Democrats to send the Senate down that same path.

Erwin Chemerinsky is the dean of the UC Irvine School of Law.

Get it?

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Today's Passive Eugenics Report

2009-01-06T08:15:00.002-05:00

It's Darwin Awards time again.

2008 winners:

The Balloon Priest 8.9 (14508 votes)

DA:Run! No, Run Away! 7.8 (5091 votes)

Merry Pranksters 7.8 (4057 votes)

Pining Away 7.8 (7362 votes)

Thou Shalt Not Steel 7.7 (5676 votes)

Not a Shred of Sense 7.7 (5712 votes)

Chemistry Went To Her Head 7.7 (5491 votes)

Boner! 7.7 (7195 votes)

Wascally Wabbit 7.7 (5260 votes)

Clotheslined! 7.6 (3517 votes)

Pierced! 7.6 (5991 votes)

On the Piste 7.6 (2826 votes)

Going to Seed 7.4 (2829 votes)

Slippery When Wet 7.1 (2215 votes)

A Screw Loose 7.1 (3653 votes)

Into the Abyss 6.6 (3087 votes)

Shopping Cart Crash 6.5 (2621 votes)

Early Retirement Plan 6.5 (2346 votes)

An Illuminating Story 6.4 (3382 votes)

Organ Donors 5.7 (3525 votes)

What a piece of work is man.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Today's Sermon: This 'Living Like Jesus Stuff'

2009-01-04T08:33:00.003-05:00

I kid you not. Megachurch Rev. Ed Dobson claims he spent a year "living like Jesus."

Would someone who really lived like Jesus say this?:

"I'm getting up every day not worried about what doesn't work; I'm getting up concerned about how do I live out this Jesus stuff."

Priceless. Note the reporter getting sucked into the story:

The retired megachurch pastor and one-time architect of the religious right has spent the last year trying to eat, pray, talk and even vote as Jesus would. His revelation: Being Jesus is tough.

"I've concluded that I am a follower, but I'm not a very good one," Dobson said. "If you get serious about the Bible, it will really mess you up."

The creepiest part: In Dobson's mind, if a Jew can live like a Jew for a year, so can he... even if it means no burritos for a while.

He decided to devote a year to living like Jesus after reading "The Year of Living Biblically," A.J. Jacobs' best-selling account of obeying Bible commands as literally as possible. If a non-religious Jew could do it, Dobson decided, so could a practicing Christian.

That meant following Old Testament laws about eating, clothing and behavior, since Jesus was a Jew whose followers created Christianity. Observing kosher dietary requirements to not mix meat and dairy products, Dobson gave up his beloved chicken-and-cheese burritos.

"I can't wait to order it for the first time" in the new year, he said with a chuckle.

I'm so sure that Dobson only dined on legally prepared Kosher and Pareve foods, aren't you?

What a crock.

How many Kosher kitchens were responsible for Dobson's year of meals?

In Kosher-observant kitchens, there are actually two sets of dinnerware, one strictly for meat meals and one for dairy meals (including pots & pans & knives & every other utensil used). They are NEVER mingled. Period. Even the ingredients are usually stored on different shelves and in different cabinets. The dishes aren't even washed together.

I don't believe for a minute that this Dobson fellow lived remotely like Jesus. Had he really done so, would he now be boasting about how difficult it was?

Ahem.

The Pharisee stands by himself and he prays and he says, "God, I thank you that I am not like other people. I am not a thief. I am not a rogue. I am not an adulterer. I am certainly not like this tax collector over here. I fast twice a week. I give away a tenth of my income."

That is his speech. He goes on interminably like that. Then the tax collector says (he won't look up to the heaven; he looks at his shoe tips), "God be merciful to me, a sinner."

Then Jesus says, "I tell you this man (the tax collector) went to his house justified rather than the other for all who exalt themselves will be humbled and all who humble themselves will be exalted."

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and beware the Pharisee.

I mean it, damn it!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Silly Saturday: "Cinescape," My Ass

2009-01-03T10:18:00.004-05:00

Today's lesson- How To Make 2008's Movies Look A Zillion Times Better Than They Actually Were: Skillfully edit a bunch of clips together from 2008's major motion pictures and set the whole thing to important-sounding music.

List of films, in order of appearance:

-The Dark Knight
-Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
-Wall-E
-Quantum of Solace
-Iron Man
-Defiance
-Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
-Australia
-Forgetting Sarah Marshall
-Wall-E
-The Curious Case of Benjamin
-The Dark Knight
-Frost/Nixon
-Wall-E
-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
-Slumdog Millionaire
-Milk
-Seven Pounds
-Revolutionary Road
-Pineapple Express
-Speed Racer
-Burn After Reading
-Ghost Town
-Revolutionary Road
-Quantum of Solace
-Rachel Getting Married
-Australia
-Role Models
-Choke
-The Tale of Despereaux
-Cloverfield
-Zack and Miri Make a Porno
-The Visitor
-Milk
-Be Kind Rewind
-Synecdoche, New York
-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
-Doubt
-Wall-E
-W.
-Get Smart
-Iron Man
-Tropic Thunder
-Iron Man
-Tropic Thunder
-Doubt
-The Reader
-Happy-Go-Lucky
-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
-Valkyrie
-Frost/Nixon
-Yes Man
-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
-The Wrestler
-Revolutionary Road
-Snow Angels
-In Bruges
-Waltz with Bashir
-Wendy and Lucy
-Rachel Getting Married
-Get Smart
-Hamlet 2
-Hancock
-The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
-Cloverfield
-Wall-E
-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
-The Day the Earth Stood Still
-The Dark Knight
-FADE OUT

-FADE IN
-The Dark Knight
-The Incredible Hulk
-Wall-E
-Seven Pounds
-Wendy and Lucy
-The Wrestler
-Australia
-The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
-The Dark Knight
-Wall-E
-Cloverfield
-Australia
-Miracle at St. Anna
-Waltz with Bashir
-Valkyrie
-Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
-Rachel Getting Married
-Pineapple Express
-The Dark Knight
-Defiance
-Che
-Valkyrie
-Australia
-Defiance
-Quantum of Solace
-Slumdog Millionaire
-The Wrestler
-Revolutionary Road
-The Dark Knight
-Defiance
-Australia
-Iron Man
-Cloverfield
-The Strangers
-Defiance
-Wall-E
-Slumdog Millionaire
-Revolutionary Road
-Synecdoche, New York
-Defiance
-Iron Man
-The Day the Earth Stood Still
-Waltz with Bashir
-The Dark Knight
-Australia
-The Wrestler
-Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
-Cloverfield
-The Dark Knight
-Pineapple Express
-Defiance
-Rachel Getting Married
-Milk
-Quantum of Solace
-Defiance
-Kung Fu Panda
-Pineapple Express
-Seven Pounds
-The Wrestler
-Iron Man
-Eagle Eye
-Frost/Nixon
-Revolutionary Road
-The Reader
-Milk
-Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
-Gran Torino
-Che
-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Maybe 2009 will bring better movies.

I certainly hope so.

And... No, they didn't all suck like brand new Hoovers. A couple of them were pretty good.

But, as a whole, the films of 2008 were not ticket-purchase-price worthy, very few are even Netflix-rental worthy, and most of them are top contenders for the "I hope they're On Demand cable options so I can fast forward through them" prize.

Have a silly Saturday, and find something good to watch.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

20 Days, George W.

2009-01-01T07:01:00.003-05:00

Judging by this photo, George W. no longer gives a shit.

And he can't tell shit from Shinola, either.

Thanks to Planet Hiltron for the photo.

Happy New Year, y'all!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Guaranteed To Brighten Your Day

2008-12-24T08:54:00.005-05:00

How about a little Tom Lehrer?

Taking the rest of the week off.

See you next year!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Tradition. Tradition...

2008-12-24T08:05:00.002-05:00

Tradition.

OK, Zero Mostel can exit stage left now.

It's Christmas Eve, and NORAD is already tracking Santa's annual trek.

Here's a screenshot:

Enjoy!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Oh, The Things You Can Buy

2008-12-22T16:12:00.004-05:00

Believe it or not, you can now buy an artificial version of the Charlie Brown Christmas tree...

Think about it. A Charlie Brown Christmas is about shunning the crass materialism of the holiday and returning to the true meaning of Christmas.

Can you do that with an artificial version of Charlie Brown's little tree?

I think not.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Today's Sermon: A Christmas Story

2008-12-21T08:16:00.004-05:00

Not that Christmas story, silly.

This one...

Watch A Christmas Story (full movie) on Fanpop

Now, that's A Christmas Story.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and beware the Bumpus hounds. Protect your kids from the Scut Farkases of this world. And celebrate the major awards won by friends and family.

I mean it, damn it!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Silly Saturday: Yes, Virginia, Santa Pees

2008-12-20T08:34:00.003-05:00

Here's the link to the news story where I found this photo.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Stupid Quote Of The Day

2008-12-19T06:56:00.004-05:00

"I didn't compromise my soul to be a popular guy."

--George W. Bush

You can't make this Bush quote crap up. If you did, nobody'd believe it.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

(Non Union) Honda Sees 'No Prospect For Recovery'

2008-12-17T08:31:00.002-05:00

Gee, didn't the Republicans and the media just try to convince us that auto union workers were the problem?

Explain this, then:

TOKYO, Japan (CNN) -- Honda has slashed its earnings forecast for 2008, citing "no prospect for recovery" in the midst of a global recession and slumping worldwide auto sales.
Fukui announces the company's all-new Accord model at a hotel in Tokyo on December 4.

Honda President and CEO Takeo Fukui told reporters on Wednesday that sales "declined rapidly" starting in the fall. The company also announced reduced forecasts for 2009 and matching production cuts "across all businesses."

"The situation is worsening by the day, and there is no prospect for recovery, is our understanding," Fukui told reporters.

Honda projects net income will tumble 69 percent for the year. Original revenue forecasts for 2008 were projected at 12.1 trillion yen ($130 billion) but have been reduced more than 13 percent to 10.4 trillion ($110 billion) -- eating into profits.

Buy American, y'all.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Are You Cool Enough To Know What's Important Today?

2008-12-15T07:51:00.004-05:00

Of course, you read the news, you watch the news, and you might even listen to the news every day...

But which news stories are important enough to email?

Now you'll never be out of the loop: mostem@ilednews.com has all of the news --that everyone deems fit to email-- on one simple page. With hyperlinks to the original source.

Here's a screenshot:

In my experience, this site takes a while to load. Keep trying.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Today's Sermon: What's More Important? Human Life Or Porcelain Baby Jesus?

2008-12-14T08:25:00.003-05:00

Too bad, humans. You lose.

Baby Jesus now protected by GPS devices

And now for some good news on the Baby Jesus front. Hooligans who snatch the baby from his manger may think twice now that GPS devices are increasingly being installed to thwart Nativity scene thefts. In the latest case, an 18-year old woman was apprehended for nabbing a Baby Jesus in Florida.

This year, a New York-based security firm is offering a month’s worth of free camera and GPS systems to religious groups and other nonprofits to help battle a growing trend of theft and vandalism for their displays, according to the Associated Press. Approximately 70 churches and synagogues have signed up thus far.

The Guardian reports that a GPS device helped police track down a ceramic Baby Jesus that had been stolen for the second year in a row in Palm Beach County, Fla.

According to the report: “Police were able to track it down to a nearby home where it was found face down on a carpet. An 18-year-old woman is being prosecuted over the theft.”

Face down on the carpet?????!!!!!?????

Oh, the porcelain tragedy!

Ah, Florida. Where there are 723 violent crimes per 100,000 people.

And Porcelain Baby Jesus is more important than people.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and ponder your relative importance in a land filled with companies more concerned with public relations than fighting violent crime.

And leave Porcelain Baby Jesus alone.

I mean it, damn it!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Silly Saturday: Sing Along With Andrew Lloyd Webber

2008-12-13T08:13:00.003-05:00

Seriously.

Don't know the lyrics? Open this link in a new window and click on the ALW song title.

There are many, many more videos you can sing along to!

And remember, kids. Never end a sentence with a preposition.

(Silly Saturday hat tip to jossip.com for the original link.)

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

GOP To Dems: Kill The Union & We'll Approve The Auto Bailout Loan

2008-12-12T07:03:00.002-05:00

This stinks to high heaven, y'all.

American. Union. Workers.

They built this country's modern infrastructure, damn it.

And Republicans want them to get the same shitty treatment as Japanese auto workers?

What Republicans fail to mention is that foreign car companies get millions and millions of free American taxpayer dollars, free roads and traffic control, and in some cases they get to use our public school buildings at no cost whatsoever for their private "Japanese after-school and Saturday Schools"... for building an auto plant in one of our states.

When America starts offering UAW children free private school educations, no taxes for their parents' workplace corporations... ever, brand new roads and traffic lights all around the car plants for worker safety, then we'll talk about parity.

Meanwhile, here are Arlo and Pete...

Heavy sigh.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

I'll Bet They Didn't Tap Norm Coleman's Phones

2008-12-11T08:58:00.002-05:00

Norm Coleman, currently down 4 votes in his Minnesota senate race against Al Franken, is being investigated by the FBI.

I wonder if investigators have done this yet.

Probably not.

Hm. Maybe it's because of the photo caption info (look left).

But, hey, Coleman's a Republican. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

4500: Good News or Bad News?

2008-12-10T07:34:00.002-05:00

Hm. DC hotels --suddenly-- have 4500 hotel rooms available for Obamapalooza... (1500 of those are inside the beltway) probably because those who reserved them refused to pony up advance fees.

Is this good news or bad news for those hoping to rent their spare bedrooms or homes for some quick cash next month?

Remains to be seen.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Now They Tell Us About TB On The DC Metro?

2008-12-08T06:59:00.002-05:00

2 months after the fact...

A MetroAccess driver tested positive for tuberculosis this fall. The driver in question was removed from his role in mid-October, but the more pressing concern is the 762 riders that could possibly have caught the airborne infection, which propitiously was not a more advanced, drug-resistant strain of the disease. Those who have tuberculosis can pass the infection by simply being in close contact with others -- the infection spreads through the mouth by coughing and sneezing -- but it can also be spread simply by speaking.

Mid-October?

Check today's date, y'all.

There is some heat coming down on Metro for the considerable delay between the driver's positive test and the written warning to those who may have been at risk, especially since for those involved -- namely elderly riders -- tuberculosis could be a devastating illness, leading to respiratory failure and death. For instance: treated TB has about a 5 percent fatality rate, whereas untreated infections will kill two of every three.

The situation unfortunately casts a serious doubt as to Metro's ability to deal with a public health scare. Based on this story, do any of you have confidence in WMATA to deal with even a small-scale health problem?

It's always the cover up that gets you, isn't it?

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Today's Sermon: Things That Make You Go HMMM

2008-12-07T08:05:00.003-05:00

The answer to a question rarely asked:

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and ask more questions.

And don't just accept any old answer. Research. Research.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Silly Saturday: Nazi Zombies With Subtitles

2008-12-06T08:49:00.002-05:00

The tagline: "Ein Zwei Die!"

It's going to Sundance, and it actually looks fun... in a Shaun of the Dead sort of way:

"Dead Snow," a film from Norway with English subtitles.

I can't believe I like this.

I love, love, love the last line of the trailer!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Numbers Guy Is Back: Nielson Needs To Go

2008-12-05T08:32:00.002-05:00

Everyone knows that the Nielson TV ratings numbers game has been a total sham for decades.

Employing household panels who volunteer to have their viewing habits tracked (in exchange for a small fee), Nielsen relies on Americans to report back to the company what they watched; Nielsen then expands that sample data to tell media buying agencies and network executives how many people across America tuned in to their show. Nielsen's entire measurement panel includes just 14,000 households; in 2000, the U.S. Census Bureau clocked 105,480,101 households in America. That means Nielsen uses just 0.0132 percent of the population to determine this nation's viewing habits.

The whole thing is flawed.

Finally, Al Gore's Current TV network is pointing out that the emperor ~~is naked~~ has a totally inadequate sampling size.

Thanks, Al!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

The Ultimate Description Of The GWB Presidency

2008-12-04T06:56:00.002-05:00

Enough said.

Truly heavy sigh.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

I Just Don't Like Her

2008-12-03T06:49:00.003-05:00

Ask any veteran public school teacher to comment on DC Superintendent Michelle Rhee's assessment of the age-old battle (Creativity cannot be measured by standardized tests, so concentrate on fundamentals only), and I'll bet that the dull-witted handout kings & queens are the only ones who'd agree with her. Here's the quote:

"The thing that kills me about education is that it's so touchy-feely," she tells me one afternoon in her office…"People say, 'Well, you know, test scores don't take into account creativity and the love of learning,'" she says… “I'm like, 'You know what? I don't give a crap.' Don't get me wrong. Creativity is good and whatever. But if the children don't know how to read, I don't care how creative you are. You're not doing your job."

Yes, reading is fundamental, Michelle.

But sucking the life out of children is just plain evil.

And a spoon full of sugar (creative lesson planning, Michelle) makes the medicine (embarrassing the kids in front of their peers) go down, darlin'.

Michelle is a media-sucking limelight whore who has no business running any school system.

And she's too stupid to realize that Time Magazine dressed her up as a witch for the cover... and not the "sweeping reformer" she imagined she'd look like.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Laura Bush Will Miss The Hired Help Most Of All

2008-12-01T07:29:00.003-05:00

Don't even pretend to be surprised, y'all.

"I'll miss all the people that are around us all the time. From the ushers and the butlers who are there for every president and have been there four or five administrations, to our own staff, of course, that we love to laugh with and talk with and solve problems with. And so I'll miss the people the most."

Laura Bush.

Clueless to the bitter end... and beyond.

Truly heavy sigh.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Today's Sermon: The Church Of The Armageddon Insurance Policy

2008-11-30T07:44:00.003-05:00

Seriously.

There's a church in Montana with a bomb shelter.

A bomb shelter that's been stocked to house 750 people for 49 days. Ready for Armageddon... and it's been this way for decades.

CORWIN SPRINGS, Montana - They're still ready for Armageddon at the Church Universal and Triumphant, a religious sect that for almost two decades has kept a bomb shelter stocked for 750 people deep in a forest near Yellowstone National Park.

Church leader Elizabeth Clare Prophet has been silenced by advanced Alzheimer's disease. And her followers say they've given up the assault rifles and armored vehicles they amassed in the late 1980s — part of a post-nuclear war "re-emergence" plan that brought national notoriety and a federal investigation.

Scrambling to stay current as it reaches its 50th anniversary, the church has transformed itself into a New Age publishing enterprise and spiritual university. But still in the background is its "insurance" against the end — the shelter buried beneath a hillside on the sect's 7,500-acre Royal Teton Ranch.

Insurance?

OK. If you say so, preacher woman.

But wait. The church is changing:

Observers estimate that fewer than 10,000 remain, from a peak of 50,000. Church leaders refuse to give a number, saying membership information is "proprietary."

Those adherents say their mission is no longer to absorb Prophet's message, channeled from on high, but to disseminate her words through books, CDs and online tutorial services.

With spiritual teachings now offered over the Internet, the long-term goal is to expand beyond the church's "physical community" and create an "online community", said its second co-president, Kate Gordon.

"It's time to get in touch with Facebook," she said.

Facebook.

OK.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and ponder the evolution of this church from Armageddon Ready to Online Message Delivery System.

And ask yourself: How far are you willing to go to defend the failed predictions and institutional plans of your own church?

And think about the people who tithed $20 million over the years to build a defense against the god they worship.

I mean it, damn it!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Silly Saturday: "Inflated Interface" or Play Pen?

2008-11-29T07:31:00.005-05:00

Pavlov would approve:

ToddlePuff is an inflated interface that incorporates 16 proximity sensors and acts as a game controller for toddlers. It surrounds the child and encourages full body motion. It blocks the toddler's eye sight to create an immersive experience and is wider than a toddler's arm span to encourage movement. An animated children's story is displayed on a screen and told through the speakers. Images of characters from the story are placed on different locations inside the interface. When a character blinks on the screen, the child needs to find the matching image on the surrounding inflated walls and touch it to resume the story. The interaction inside ToddlePuff develops orientation, coordination and speed.

I thought this was a joke.

Until I watched the video.

Have a Silly Saturday!

And don't waste money on inflatable play pens, OK?

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

And The 'Most Annoying YouTube Video Of 2008' Award Goes To...

2008-11-28T11:15:00.003-05:00

... this dog and the 28 seconds I'll never get back:

You just never know what you'll find on the web, do you? I found that video while chasing a cupcake frosting link.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Not Your Grandma's Turkey

2008-11-27T06:51:00.004-05:00

Hm.

And we wonder why we're all getting fat. (Click the image below to enlarge.)

The traditional Thanksgiving dinner reflects the enormous amount of change that foods and the food systems that produce them have undergone, particularly over the last 50 years. Nearly all varieties of crops have experienced large genetic changes as big agriculture companies hacked their DNA to provide greater hardiness and greater yields. The average pig, turkey, cow and chicken have gotten larger at an astounding rate, and they grow with unprecedented speed. A modern turkey can mature to a given weight at twice the pace of its predecessors.

In comparison with old-school agriculture or single-gene genetic modification, these changes border on breathtaking. Imagine your children reaching full maturity at 10 years old.

Yikes.

By the way, Grandma's turkey had those beautiful colors we all remember from grade school craft projects.

Today's ginormous turkeys are bred to be all white.

And they're artificially inseminated for size.

Take that, Bible thumpers. You're eating genetically modified meat today.

Tee hee.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

More Of Paula Deen's Deep Fried Crap

2008-11-26T08:16:00.003-05:00

This recipe is seriously whacked... and not for the obvious reason.

If you read carefully, it looks like the sausage (the star of Paula's Smithfield product-endorsement recipe) ends up left on a plate and has no further purpose after it's cooked.

Thanksgiving Recipe: Deep-Fried Stuffing On a Stick

Stuffing:
5 tablespoons butter, divided
1 pound breakfast sausage, bulk
1 cup diced onion
1/2 cup diced carrot
1/2 cup diced celery
1 bag unseasoned bread cubes, for stuffing
1 sleeve saltine crackers, crushed
1 tablespoon poultry seasoning
2 tablespoons dried parsley flakes
2 teaspoons ground sage
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 quart chicken stock
4 eggs, beaten
For Frying:
Oil, for frying
2 cups all-purpose flour
Special equipment: 12 wooden ice cream sticks or skewers
Directions

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Grease a 9 by 13-inch baking dish with 1 tablespoon of the butter.

Brown the sausage in a large skillet over medium-high heat until it is cooked through. Transfer to a plate, while spooning off the excess grease, leaving about 2 tablespoons in the skillet. Add 4 tablespoons of the butter and melt. Add the onion, carrot and celery and saute until softened. Meanwhile, in a large mixing bowl, toss together bread cubes, saltines, poultry seasoning, parsley flakes, sage, salt and pepper. Stir the sauteed vegetables into the mixing bowl. Pour in the chicken stock and eggs and toss together. Turn the stuffing out into the prepared baking dish.

Bake in the preheated oven for 35 to 45 minutes until the top is golden brown and the juices in the stuffing are bubbling.

Preheat oil in the deep-fryer to 350 degrees F.

Cool the stuffing completely. Cut it into 12 squares. Remove each square from the dish and wrap it around a wooden stick, pressing it onto the stick with your hands. Make the stuffing form a log shape around the popsicle stick, leaving 2-inches of the stick exposed for the handle. This should look somewhat like a lumpy corn dog.

Roll the stick in the flour, coating it well and then shaking off the excess. Gently lower the sticks into the hot oil and fry until golden brown and crispy, about 5 minutes. Transfer to a paper towel lined plate to drain.

Did you notice that the word sausage was never mentioned again after the word plate?

OK, I know the sausage is supposed to be added to the rest of the stuffing ingredients, but it's just too easy to point out the glaring omission of the star ingredient in a totally crappy recipe.

Tee hee.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

They Might Be Mimes

2008-11-25T08:48:00.003-05:00

Leave it to DC to hype the (hopefully) coming "Black Friday" (yes, Virginia, it has its own website) shopping day this Friday. Possibly with mimes.

The Metro will open at 4 a.m., there will be extra police officers and portable toilets... and street entertainers to amuse the shoppers waiting to enter the stores at the new Columbia Heights shopping center. (Ahem, Target and Marshall's are the anchor stores. Big Whoop.)

... "the deployment of 30 police officers to the area that day (11/28), the temporary installation of portable toilets (although the exact location was not shared), and street performers to keep waiting shoppers occupied until they could get into the stores, which will be opening early that morning.

DC/USA is expecting people to sleep over Thanksgiving night and anticipates seeing lines that go around the block by the following morning."

I'm not going.

I don't know anyone who is, either.

Because I'd be pissed if there were no mimes to ridicule.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Will Obots Ever Stop Whining?

2008-11-24T08:10:00.003-05:00

After 2 years of "Hillary's mean" and "That's racist," you'd think that Obots would be rejoicing. After all, Obama warned them during his victory speech that they wouldn't like some of his early decisions, didn't he? Joe Biden told them that they would have to trust Obama and defend his actions to others, didn't he?

Yes, he did. And Virginia (at Katalusis) says what needs to be said about this far better than I can say it:

Most semi-conscious members of the electorate are aware by this time that Obama’s extreme left base - misogynous to its core - mirrored exactly the fascist tactics of the extreme right in taking down Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primary and trashing Sarah Palin in the general election.

Nevertheless, Rothschild details his litany of grievances against President-elect Obama - complete with the usual faux progressive smears against Hillary Clinton and former officials in the Clinton Administration:

“He {Obama} won the crucial Iowa caucuses on the strength of his anti-Iraq War stance, and many progressive peace and justice activists worked hard for him against John McCain.

“So why in the world is he choosing Hillary Clinton to be Secretary of State when she was one of the loudest hawks on Iraq and threatened to obliterate 75 million Iranians?”

I’ll interject a couple of facts here:

Sen. Clinton explained at the time she voted for the Iraq resolution that she did so primarily to give the inspectors time to complete their work. Obama, on the other hand, has repeatedly misled Americans into believing that he actually voted against the resolution when he was not even a member of the US Senate at the time.

There's more. Read the rest.

And remind your Obot friends and family members that they won, and it's time to stop whining.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Today's Sermon: Imagine That!

2008-11-23T07:24:00.004-05:00

Imagine...

The Vatican "forgiving" John Lennon for boasting that The Beatles were more popular than Jesus.

Meanwhile, imagine this news story on the same page...

New Book, The Lennon Prophecy, Asks The Question - Did John Lennon Sell His Soul To The Devil?

Did John Lennon sell his soul to the devil in exchange for his worldly musical success with The Beatles and beyond? That’s the theory set forth by Joseph Niezgoda in his soon-to-be released book The Lennon Prophecy, A New Examination of the Death Clues of the Beatles.

The Lennon Prophecy offers a new interpretation of the hidden messages and symbols that have ornamented Beatles mythology for years and offers the view that Lennon joined historical figures such as Mississippi “Crossroads” blues guitarist Robert Johnson, Dr. Johann Faust, Pope Sylvester II among others who entered into a pact with the devil to exchange their souls for earthly successes. Niezgoda dissects and examines the Beatles’ and Lennon’s recordings and album artwork and follows a fascinating and unique trail of sorcery, mysticism, numerology, backward masking, anagrams and literary and theological writings to explain his conclusions.

I imagine the author spent countless hours listening to recordings played backwards while contemplating the religious implications of the walrus, don't you?

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and seek meaning in reality-based phenomena.

And stop trying to demonize a rock 'n roll band.

I mean it, damn it!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Silly Saturday: Turkeys

2008-11-22T07:20:00.004-05:00

This year's turkey shoot: The search is on for comics to represent the definitive comedic essence of Barack Obama.

Meanwhile, in your local grocery store...

It's that time of year again. Turkey cakes are back, and they're pretty silly...

Have a Silly Saturday.

And watch out for turkeys. They're everywhere.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Good To Know I'm Not The Only One...

2008-11-21T08:31:00.003-05:00

... Who thought Ted Kennedy's death bed dangling of the Health Care carrot over Hillary Clinton's head (as she weighs Obama's Secretary Of State offer/leak) was crass.

I’m 150% for Hillary taking SecState, and I don’t care if you disagree! So there! She’ll be fine. She KNOWS the ropes and the palace intrigue better than all of us combined. Don’t fret so much! And if she helps Obama succeed, by god that is great! The last thing we need is for Obama to fail! It’s too twisted to think like that! It’s too Old Testament. It’s too self-centered to think like that. P.S. Ted Kennedy I don’t care if you have a brain tumor, that was an a–h-le thing to do — to all of a sudden dangle health care in front of her to try to prevent her from becoming SecState, after denying it to her all this time. You are contemptible, sir.

Cheesy, Ted.

And what does dangling this Health Care carrot in such a cavalier way suggest about the Dem Party's true commitment to universal healthcare?

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

And 2008's Biggest Winner Is...

2008-11-19T07:31:00.003-05:00

... Joe Lieberman.

Yep, Holy Joe now has the US Senate ace up his sleeve.

With Lieberman in the fold, the Democrats still have an outside shot of a 60-member caucus that could end Republican filibusters. That possibility hinges on yet-to-be decided races in Georgia and Minnesota.

“Lieberman will be a senator until 2012,” said Dautrich. “In the next four years, there will probably be votes on health-care reform legislation and Supreme Court nominees. … The Republicans will try to filibuster and the Democrats will need 60 votes.”

"Ace" Lieberman.

Has a ring to it, doesn't it?

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

How Much Should I Charge For My Capitol Hill Guest Room?

2008-11-18T07:07:00.002-05:00

Ahem.

District and federal officials are preparing for as many as 4 million people for the inauguration of President-elect Barack Obama, a crowd that would be three or four times larger than previous big events on the Mall.

Craigslist inaugural week prices are skyrocketing daily.

What's a fair price for a really nice guest room and private bath, 3 blocks from the Metro and 10 blocks from the US Capitol?

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Obama or Lucy Van Pelt?

2008-11-17T06:52:00.003-05:00

Obama had better be sincere, damn it.

Why should Senator Clinton trust this man?

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Today's Sermon: Searching For Words

2008-11-16T05:40:00.003-05:00

Some days, you just have to ask...

WTF is this supposed to mean?

Is Obama's puppy Lincoln Approved?

Is The Associated Press Graphics Department a Crack den?

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and search for words to explain the weirdness around you.

And remember...

Crack dens are bad.

I mean it, damn it!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Silly Saturday: To Trong Or Not To Trong...

2008-11-15T07:53:00.002-05:00

The first rule of marketing: Convince people to pay retail prices for things they don't need, which never work as well as they do in the commercials and don't last very long...

Caveat emptor, y'all.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

George W. Bush, Gansta?

2008-11-14T07:21:00.003-05:00

You tell me...

Hm.

The weirdest part: this photo is featured on the whitehouse.gov site.

Bushbots always think they're funny, don't they?

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Gay Haters Want Gays To Be More Tolerant

2008-11-13T06:03:00.003-05:00

File this under: Perfect Example Of Irony

California Proposition 8 supporters are upset because protesters (and bloggers) are "targeting" them by calling for boycotts...

Some Proposition 8 supporters say a minority of protesters have gone too far by targeting individuals. Opponents of the measure have called for a boycott of the California Musical Theatre after revelations that artistic director Scott Eckern, a Mormon, donated $1,000 to the Yes on 8 Campaign. Members of his church played a significant role in the campaign.

"It's disheartening that he is being singled out," said Lisa West, spokeswoman for the church in the Sacramento area. "We had hoped there would be more tolerance for different viewpoints."

Seriously.

You can't make this crap up.

It writes itself.

Don't want to be treated sans tolerance?

Stop treating others like second-class citizens, you dipshits.

By the way, Mr. Eckern just resigned, leaving one less dipshit to boycott.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Vacation

2008-11-06T06:18:00.003-05:00

Taking a vaycay for the rest of the week.

You should, too.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Obama Wins, Vera Wang Weeps

2008-11-05T05:31:00.003-05:00

Hmmmm...

Too bad, Mr. Blackwell is no longer with us.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Oh, The Irony! Women Will Decide The Election Today

2008-11-04T06:50:00.003-05:00

In an election year that has seen gender totally ignored (trans. berated, denigrated, and politically destroyed)...

Women Are Majority of Undecided Voters; Gender Gap Persists in National and State Polls

NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J., Oct. 24 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- Women are a
majority of undecided voters in the 2008 presidential race, as they were in
past elections, according to the Center for American Women and Politics
(CAWP). For example, a new poll from the Pew Research Center for the People
and the Press, conducted two weeks before election day, finds that women
are 60 percent of all undecided registered voters and 61 percent of
undecided registered white voters. The Pew poll is the only recent poll
with a large enough sample to allow a meaningful breakdown of undecided
voters by gender and race.

Overall, 8 percent of those polled by Pew are undecided, with fewer
non-white than white registered voters having not yet chosen a candidate.
Six percent of non-white voters overall and 4 percent of African-American
voters are undecided; however, the numbers within these groups are too
small to analyze gender differences. Among whites, 10 percent of women and
7 percent of men have not yet made choices in the presidential race.

How will it end?

Will women break for Obama, or will they go all mavericky for McCain?

My prediction: undecided women --in states where undecided voters matter today-- will make their decisions based on a single issue, like the Supreme Court or National Security.

Time will tell.

Tick. Tock.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Some Things Never Change

2008-11-03T08:01:00.003-05:00

People could riot when their candidate*/sports team loses.

People could riot when their candidate*/sports team wins.

People become increasingly superstitious when it comes to their candidate*/sports team.

And people often panic, fearing their candidate*/sports team will fall because of a Hail Mary upset.

It's election eve.

Go vote tomorrow.

And vote your conscience, damn it.

* candidate = Obama

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Today's Sermon: Barabbas Won The Popular Vote

2008-11-02T06:51:00.003-05:00

Tuesday night, keep your eye on voters in Colorado, Florida, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Nevada, (possibly New Mexico) and Virginia. They're not all convinced that THE ONE is really the one for them.

Those particular voters are like the ocean: pretty to look at and dream about; but you wouldn't want to turn your back on them.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and consider how judicial bodies have managed to rewrite recent history: we all know that Al Gore won Florida, and John Kerry won Ohio; however, certified vote totals now "prove" that Li'l Bush won the popular and electoral votes in both states.

And ask yourself: who's playing the role of Li'l Bush this year?

Just think about it.

I mean it, damn it!

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Silly Saturday: What's Even Better Than A Chicken In Every Pot?

2008-11-01T07:10:00.002-04:00

Wow! Do I feel silly!

I had no idea that Barack H. Obama was going to help pay for our gasoline and make our mortgage payments. How cool is that? [/snark]

Have a Silly Saturday!

And don't believe stupid stuff.

And don't do stupid stuff, either.

Especially stupid stuff like this... Watch this boy learn a valuable lesson on electric dog fences:

Here's the deal: if you actually believe that this boy decided to steal McCain yard signs on his own and replace them with Obama signs, you're stupid enough to believe that Obama's gonna fill up your gas tank and make your mortgage payment.

And that's just a smidgen of today's silliness. I'm sure there'll be more.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Hallowe'en... It's All About The Children

2008-10-31T05:53:00.004-04:00

Click the play arrow and see how many creepy film children you can identify in the montage...

Happy Hallowe'en to all past, present, and future Trick-Or-Treaters!

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Finally! Actual, Honest To God, Journalism

2008-10-30T06:29:00.003-04:00

Of course, it's too little, too late...

Just to throw a number out: He (Obama) has raised well over $600 million since the start of his campaign, close to what George Bush and John Kerry raised combined in 2004.

Without question, Obama has set the bar at new height with a truly staggering sum of cash. And that is why as we approach this November, it is worth reminding ourselves what Barack Obama said last November.

One year ago, he made a promise. He pledged to accept public financing and to work with the Republican nominee to ensure that they both operated within those limits.

Promises. Promises.

Here's the money quote:

The Washington Post pointed out recently that the bad economy has meant a cash shortage among the 527s and that this election year they have been far less influential.

The courageous among Obama's own supporters concede this decision was really made for one reason, simply because it was to Obama's financial advantage.

On this issue today, former Sen. Bob Kerrey of Nebraska, an Obama supporter, writes in The New York Post, "a hypocrite is a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue -- who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings. And that, it seems to me, is what we are doing now."

Ouch.

By the way, did you catch Pushing Daisies last night? If not, you can find the episode at fancast.com, when they get around to uploading it. While you're there, scroll down to the list of shows and check out the original Dick Van Dyke Show pilot episode. Fun times.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Why I Didn't Watch The Debates

2008-10-29T05:15:00.002-04:00

Here's why...

If you cut the 25 seconds of introductions and thank yous, this video would be less than 2 minutes long.

Heavy sigh.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Decisions, Decisions: Pushing Daisies or The Obama Show?

2008-10-28T06:53:00.004-04:00

The facts are these:

Presidential post pursuer, Barack H. Obama, is spending millions of donor dollars to buy a half hour TV slot during prime time this Wednesday evening; The One-ness that is Obama, however, has decided not to purchase that terrifically timely time slot from ABC, thus leaving the nether-network free to air its usual program, Pushing Daisies.

Thank you, Obama, for leaving my precious onomatopeotic program alone... while you star in Barack H. Obama's FDR Fireside Chat 2.0 with the hard-earned dollars of your delusional, devoted donors.

For, you see, Ellen Greene might sing, and I'd hate to miss that. Or Swoosie Kurtz might belch. Or someone might push Kristin Chenoweth down a flight of stairs. I'd really hate to miss that.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

I Love Tests!

2008-10-27T11:54:00.002-04:00

I Scored a 100%!

There are lots more tests, games and random fun things to do at this site. scroll down past the Blogger Spelling Test and waste some time.

Note: Skip the sign up crap and click on No Thanks, Take Me To My Test Results.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Amazon Scrubs "Terrorist Costume" Obama Mask Page

2008-10-27T07:33:00.003-04:00

... Praise be to Google cache and screencap technology!

Check out The Los Angeles Times' blog for the details.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Today's Sermon: Fear Not!

2008-10-26T06:57:00.006-04:00

Here are just 3 examples of fears your atheist friends don't have to worry about:

The fear of powerful women...

The fear of supernatural toast...

As you can see, it's just toast.

The fear of those dreaded knocks at the door...

OK, that fear is real, for you'll never be visited by proselitizing atheists... just religious soul collectors. But atheists don't fear other atheists appearing at the door during dinner, do they?

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and consider your fears and the fears of others.

What is the source of your fear?

just think about it.

I mean it, damn it!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Silly Saturday: OK, But Is It Really Art?

2008-10-25T06:48:00.005-04:00

There's this (cough) "artist" (cough) named Levi van Veluw, who sometimes glues stuff to his head, sometimes draws on his head and neck with a ballpoint pen, and sometimes pours crap over his head... then takes a picture of himself...

Hm. A trip to Michael's for some moss, tacky glue, and model train accessories... and you, too, can be an "artist" like Levi.

Here's another...

Got a ballpoint pen and a mirror? Get busy!

Last, but not least...

Pour two flavors of yogurt over your head, snap a pic, and call it (cough) "art" (cough).

The saddest part about Levi's "art": he's won more photography awards than "art" awards.

Have a Silly Saturday! And don't forget to call whatever you do today ...art.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Election 2008 (aka Jerry Springer, Eat Your Heart Out!)

2008-10-24T06:40:00.004-04:00

We knew something was coming.

It's October, after all.

And what goes better with October in an election year than a big ol' steaming bowl of... SURPRISE?

OBAMA'S TRUE PARENTAGE: IS BARACK OBAMA REALLY THE BIOLOGICAL SON OF FRANK MARSHALL DAVIS?

IF THE LEFT CAN SAY THAT TRIG IS NOT SARAH'S BABY - (MORE ANTI-PALIN MADNESS HERE, AND A ROUND-UP ON SULLIVAN'S INSANITY HERE), THEN THIS HYPOTHESIS IS POSSIBLE TOO - AFTER ALL, TURNABOUT IS FAIR PLAY:

QUESTION: WHO IS OBAMA'S REAL FATHER?

LOOK AT THE PICTURES:

AND TELL ME WHO LOOKS MORE LIKE BARRY OBAMA:

* THE GUY TO THE LEFT OF OBAMA - FRANK MARSHALL DAVIS - (A COMMUNIST FROM CHICAGO WHO WAS FRIENDS WITH THE DUNHAM FAMILY)...

* OR THE MAN BELOW BARRY OBAMA JUNIOR - THE KENYAN BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA SENIOR???

If that's not Jerry Springerlicious enough for you...

There are also several nude photos (supposedly, it's Obama's mama) going viral this morning.

Today's lesson: When you refuse to answer questions, get ready for wild speculation, Senator O.

Pass the popcorn.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

It's One Of Those Days...

2008-10-23T11:15:00.003-04:00

Today is flu shot/ blood drawing at the Dr.'s office (where you have to wait --fasting, of course-- for the lab techs to arrive because the traffic is backed up for miles)/ general get crap over with day.

Not one of my favorite days of the year. Tape and cotton balls on both arms, ravenous for eggs, and suffering from caffeine withdrawal...

It's just one of those days.

Fortunately for me, here's America's most perfect woman having a much worse time...

At least, my day is all uphill from here. Poor Martha is probably slogging through more of those ridiculous segments.

Oh, BTW: The presidential race is tightening, and the latest poll even included cell phone users.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Doom, Gloom, & Death Threats

2008-10-22T07:42:00.004-04:00

I tried to discuss Joe Biden's truly weird "Mark my words, bad things are coming, and you'll think Obama is making the wrong decisions, but TRUST US and make your friends and neighbors do the same" speech last night. Not only did I get my head chewed off, I was accused of being a McCain supporter.

And that's just inside my own home, mind you.

While I've never been a Roger Simon fan, I noticed this morning that he's observing the same weird Obot behavior:

Democrats' gloom deepens

The Democrats are poised on the brink of victory. And they cannot stand it. The news is too good. Something has to go wrong.

On Saturday, Charlie Cook, an independent analyst and author of the Cook Report, wrote: “This election isn’t over, but it is looking very bad for Republicans — and seems to be getting worse.”

This plunged the Democrats into a deep gloom. Good news is always bad news for them. --snip--

Awful news. Obama has a money problem. And you know what it is? He might run out of time to spend all the money he has! Election Day might come and go before Obama can spend the $5 million a day he is now raising. (If this does happen, I suggest he borrow a page from Oprah and buy everyone in America a Pontiac. Just as a gesture.)

Obama himself has reacted to the dismal drumbeat of good news. At a fundraising concert in Manhattan last Thursday featuring Bruce Springsteen and Billy Joel, Obama got up and said: “Don’t underestimate the capacity of Democrats to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Don’t underestimate our ability to screw it up.”

Which is the prevailing mood in the top echelons of the Democratic Party right now.

Here's the sick and twisted truth about where I stand in this election: On one hand, I'm accused of supporting John McCain; one the other hand, someone named "Bloody Bill" posted this comment on my blog:

(Click image to enlarge)

Doom, gloom, and death threats.

Time for breakfast.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Biden Guarantees Crisis If Obama Elected

2008-10-21T07:19:00.004-04:00

Wow! Never though I'd create that headline.

Because I live a few short blocks from the US Capitol, my take on Biden's truly weird Cassandra prediction might differ from yours.

What do you think Biden meant by this?

"Mark my words," the Democratic vice presidential nominee warned at the second of his two Seattle fundraisers Sunday. "It will not be six months before the world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is looking. We're about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president of the United States of America. Remember I said it standing here if you don't remember anything else I said. Watch, we're gonna have an international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this guy."

"I can give you at least four or five scenarios from where it might originate," Biden said to Emerald City supporters, mentioning the Middle East and Russia as possibilities. "And he's gonna need help. And the kind of help he's gonna need is, he's gonna need you - not financially to help him - we're gonna need you to use your influence, your influence within the community, to stand with him. Because it's not gonna be apparent initially, it's not gonna be apparent that we're right."

Hm.

Here's some more:

"This guy has it. But he's gonna need your help. Because I promise you, you all are gonna be sitting here a year from now going, 'Oh my God, why are they there in the polls? Why is the polling so down? Why is this thing so tough?' We're gonna have to make some incredibly tough decisions in the first two years. So I'm asking you now, I'm asking you now, be prepared to stick with us. Remember the faith you had at this point because you're going to have to reinforce us."

"There are gonna be a lot of you who want to go, 'Whoa, wait a minute, yo, whoa, whoa, I don't know about that decision'," Biden continued. "Because if you think the decision is sound when they're made, which I believe you will when they're made, they're not likely to be as popular as they are sound. Because if they're popular, they're probably not sound."

Biden emphasized that the mountainous Afghanistan-Pakistan border is of particular concern, with Osama bin Laden "alive and well" and Pakistan "bristling with nuclear weapons."

Some of the scariest parts:

"And he's gonna need help."

"And the kind of help he's gonna need is, he's gonna need you - not financially to help him - we're gonna need you to use your influence, your influence within the community, to stand with him."

"Because it's not gonna be apparent initially, it's not gonna be apparent that we're right."

Right about what, Joe?

Reinstating the draft?

Some kind of Israel v Iran/ Iran v Israel bloodbath?

Another 9/11 type attack on US soil? (Like, in my neighborhood?)

Using limited nukes against Pakistan?

Creating a new alliance with Chavez & Friends and replacing the dollar with Ameros?

Raising taxes a zillion percent?

What gives, Biden?

Spit it out, Joe!

Here's the weirdest part:

"I probably shouldn't have said all this because it dawned on me that the press is here," he joked.

He joked?

This crap is funny, Joe?

Is this whole "Be Afraid, But Trust Us" speech just another Biden/ Emily Litella "Never Mind" moment?

Or is Joe Biden, himself, The October Surprise?

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

The Republicans' Favorite Fixer Endorses Obama

2008-10-20T08:03:00.003-04:00

Yeah... that guy.

The one who lied to the United Nations while holding a vile of... whatever it was... and claimed that Iraqis could kill us all in about 45 minutes.

Remember him?

Not an endorsement I'd like to get.

How about you?

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Today's Sermon: It's Not Your Fault!

2008-10-19T07:37:00.003-04:00

Seriously.

Number of marriages: 2,230,000

Marriage rate: 7.5 per 1,000 total population

Divorce rate: 3.6 per 1,000 population (46 reporting States and D.C.)

When your marriage (like approximately 50% of all marriages) ended in divorce, it wasn't your fault.

And it wasn't the fault of your spouse.

Really.

Here's the proof:

See.

I told you it wasn't your fault.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today, knowing that blaming random others for your own mistakes is Pure D Stupid.

And think before you blame. Try it. Just once.

And stop looking for this icon:

I mean it, damn it!

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Silly Saturday: Hallowe'en For Hitler & Other Costume Crimes

2008-10-18T06:28:00.005-04:00

I can't believe I have to say this, but...

Mamas, don't let your babies be Hitler for Hallowe'en this year!

While we're at it, don't dress them up like this, either... Unless you're already saving for your child's future psychotherapy sessions:

A Cheap, fugly-smelling car freshener...

A toilet...

A victim from the film, Alien...

Tsk. Tsk.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Friday Failures & The 18 Percenters

2008-10-17T08:26:00.004-04:00

What do you get when you cross a Pew Research quiz and Failblog.org?

Some pretty scary stuff.

The Pew quiz results:

The survey, conducted April 30-June 1 among 3,612 adults ages 18 and over, found that about half of Americans (53%) knew that the Democrats have a majority in the House of Representatives, while 42% could identify the secretary of state (Condoleezza Rice). Fewer than three-in-ten (28%) could name the prime minister of Great Britain (Gordon Brown). Just 18% of the public answered all three questions correctly.

18%.

Sounds chilling, right?

Before you judge, take a look at today's failures...

That day care disaster flyer, the free steak knives with kid cereal offer, and that (cough) delicious (cough) license plate are just 3 examples found at failblog.org today.

Now, how do you feel about a mere 18% answering all three questions correctly?

Sounds about right, doesn't it?

The really chilling part: How many of the other 82% vote?

Heavy sigh.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Rolling Stone v Obama's Big Giant Head

2008-10-16T09:13:00.004-04:00

Creepy. Kooky. Mysteriously spooky.

Rolling Stone Magazine has finally shrunk to the standard 8 x 11 size...

Unfortunately, the photo editors forgot to shrink Obama's Big Giant Head along with the page size. (The new cover is on the left, and the previous Obama Head cover is on the right):

Hey, if RS didn't forget to shrink Obama's head, there's only one other possible explanation.

The editors decided that Obama looks just like the Eddie Murphy donkey in Shrek:

Uncanny resemblance.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Decisions, Decisions: What To Watch On TV Tonight

2008-10-15T06:37:00.003-04:00

Of course, there's the last presidential debate... not to be confused with John Badham's "The Last Debate," which I recorded back in the day for it's snarky, snappy dialogue.

But, wait. Another train-wreck TV choice tonight is "The Real Housewives of Atlanta." Funny, they don't actually live in Atlanta, and most of them aren't even technically married. But, hey! They could be the first batch of high society wannabe women in these stupid "housewives" shows to show actual physical rage.

Last, but not least...

Tonight marks the finale of Project Runway (season 5), and my favorite (aka "Mean Girl") contestant/ designer/ reality show personality, Kenley Collins, will probably get auf'ed by Heidi Klum & Co.

Kenley's major flaw: she refuses to bow down to the judges, be intimidated by the other designers' gang-like attacks, or sit quietly in the corner and beg for more abuse.

I like her. And to those who complain about her attitude, I say...

A designer with attitude?

Whoever heard of such a thing?

No matter the viewing choice tonight, there are multiple smackdown possibilities.

Or... I might just fall asleep, like I did last night, during "The Mentalist."

Three cheers for Tylenol PM!

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

It's The Stupidity, Stupid!

2008-10-14T06:56:00.002-04:00

In 2 minutes, you'll understand exactly how stupid Obots are.

If you dare.

When asked if they supported Obama because of his "pro-life," "stay in Iraq until we finish the war" and "anti-stem cell research" stances (yes, Virginia, they were trick McCain Stance questions disguised as Obama Stance questions), here's how Obots responded...

Obviously, these Obots have never heard of Joe Biden, either.

Truly heavy sigh.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Today's Sermon: Before You Bite Into That Sandwich...

2008-10-12T08:09:00.002-04:00

... Check the tomato slice carefully.

Because it might be Jesus.

Really.

Here's what one true believer is selling on EBay:

You guessed it.

The Jesus Tomato.

The testament of the one true Jesus Tomato owner:

After I made a salad for my family, I was shocked to see this tomato (which I refer to as my Jesus Tomato) smiling up at me. I was having a really bad day and then I saw this tomato, smiling, and I realized it must be a sign from above to let me know that everything is going to be alright! I could not eat the tomato. I washed the dill dressing from it and put it in a ziplock bag and in the freezer so that it would stay fresh, and smiling! I was going to keep the tomato but then I realized that all of us need a sign from above, even if it is in the form of a tomato.

The current EBay bid is $1.00.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today, knowing that frozen tomato slices will become mushy when thawed and are best suited for soups and sauces.

And think about how a holy tomato slice could redefine transubstantiation... on rye, with a dollop of mayo.

Or in a delicious soup or sauce.

Just think about it.

I mean it, damn it!

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Silly Saturday: The "Monk" Of Dogs

2008-10-11T06:59:00.006-04:00

Meet Hamish, my Westie.

Like Monk, the OCD TV detective, Hamish has... issues. No, he doesn't bite or attack. He just tries to climb into your arms or hide behind your legs when he's afraid. His list of phobias is, however, legion.

Hamish has...

Acousticophobia - fear of noise

Hint: Don't make noise upstairs if Hamish is downstairs. He thinks the world is coming to an end.

Ancraophobia or Anemophobia - fear of wind

Hint: Don't assume that Westies know the difference between wind and invisible people. (Maybe they know something we don't know, but the wind --which could actually be caused by invisible people-- is a scary thing to them.)

Ataxophobia - fear of disorder or untidiness

Hint: Don't rearrange your furniture without the Westie watching the process. Unless you're prepared for a snit of major proportion.

Atelophobia - fear of imperfection

Hint: If the water bowl is full today, it had better, by damn, be full tomorrow... or else. The same principle applies to the food bowl, where the pile of dog toys was yesterday, the time you went to bed last night, ad infinitum. This starts the minute you bring your Westie home.

Automysophobia - fear of being dirty

Hint: The pavement may just be wet, but to a Westie it might as well be flowing lava.

Cainophobia/Cainotophobia - fear of newness, novelty

Hint: See Ataxophobia above. It's all the same to Hamish: moving furniture, a red leaf (as opposed to a yellow leaf); it just doesn't matter. If it's new, watch out.

Chromophobia/Chromatophobia - fear of colors

Hint: Especially red wheelie toys with giggling children aboard. (They might be after Hamish!)

Cyclophobia - fear of bicycles

Hint: See Chromophobia/Chromatophobia above.

Demophobia - fear of crowds

Hint: Westies are short, damn it. You walk among giants and tell me it doesn't frighten you.

Megalophobia - fear of large things

Hint: See Demophobia above.

Neophobia - fear of anything new

Hint: Think twice before giving someone a new noisy appliance for Christmas.

Ornithophobia - fear of birds

Hint: You can explain 'til you're blue in the face why birds are in the backyard one minute and gone the next, but it won't do any good. The same goes for crickets. If there was once a cricket, Hamish will look for it every time he goes outside... for weeks on end. In fact, we're in week 3 of the Great Cricket Hunt of '08.

Peladophobia - fear of bald people

Hint: No hint, sorry. It's just a fact of life for Hamish. And highly embarrassing.

Rupophobia - fear of dirt

Hint: Avoid dirt like the plague. I mean it.

Sigh.

There are so many more phobias (like the fear of uneven surfaces, storm drains, blue trash bins, and small girls with tambourines), but the Westie has begun his typically ritualistic day.

Hint: He hasn't figured out that Saturday is different from Friday... and he's four years old.)

If Monk had a dog, he'd have a Westie.

Have a Silly Saturday, and don't freak out a Westie today!

Hat tip to LOTD for the inspiration!

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

When You're A Jet...

2008-10-10T06:35:00.003-04:00

You're A Jet All The Way...

... From your first cigarette to your last dyin' day.

And don't try to "distract" Obama from his concerns about the economy by bringing up William Ayers, about whom Obama now says:

"I assumed he had been rehabilitated."

Yeah. Right. Obama looks really, really engrossed in economic matters, doesn't he?

Sigh.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

That "Guy in Obama's Neighborhood" Is Shopping A Script

2008-10-09T07:22:00.003-04:00

Barack Hussein Obama (yes, Virginia, I did use his middle name. Bite me) has famously referred to domestic Weather Underground terrorist and fellow Annenberg Challenge/ Woods (No, not Tiger) Foundation board partner, William Ayers, as "just a guy in my neighborhood."

Well, that guy from Obama's neighborhood is shopping a screenplay, hoping to cash in on his connection to... You guessed it!

Barack Hussein Obama.

That guy who gets bent out of shape if you use his middle name.

A new script about the life of former Weather Underground leader William Ayers is making the rounds in Hollywood, and the co-screenwriter hopes that the recent hubbub surrounding Barack Obama's ties to the Sixties radical will "at least get people interested" in it.

Here's something that might make you go hmmm:

Near the end of the screenplay, Ayers discusses his political activism in a scene with his father and says, "Yeah we did some foolish things. I can't quite imagine putting a bomb in a building today, but the way things are in the world, I can't imagine entirely dismissing the possibility either. What if the government is killing a bunch of innocent people and just won't listen? And knowing now that trying to make a better life can lead to the guillotine, and the gulag, I still can't imagine a fully human world without utopian dreams."

Hmmm.

Not living next to a guy who bombed the Pentagon and the US Capitol --and letting him host my first political fundraising party- would be one of my utopian dreams, were I running for president.

When all you've got is a razor thin résumé, your friends and colleagues had better be palatable to the masses, BHO.

Tsk.

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.