This Week's Losers Hard to believe, isn't it?

Had The Washington Post NOT CHOSEN TO PUBLISH THE F-WORD, Big Time Dick Cheney Might have lost out in this week's competition.

Hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm...
I wonder how the FCC will handle this.

As promised earlier, here are some of this week's Backside Of The Bell Curve's Top Contenders:

George W. Bush Apologizes Via Email

The White House apologized Thursday to the owners of a Fairfield business after President Bush praised the woman who stole $308,170 from them as a "good soul." LINK

Arnold Schwarzenneger Plans To Kill Your Family Pet

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger wants to repeal a state law that requires animal shelters to hold stray dogs and cats for up to six days before killing them.
Instead, there would be a three-day requirement [72 hours] for strays. Other animals, including birds, hamsters, potbellied pigs, rabbits, snakes and turtles, could be killed immediately. LINK

Ken Melhman Says Anti-Bush People Are "Wild Eyed" (Trans. Insane)

``Today, our campaign is releasing a web video to 6 million of our supporters to show them what we're up against and what we're up against is John Kerry's 'coalition of the wild-eyed,''' said Bush campaign manager Ken Melhman. LINK

Gwendolyn Tose'-Rigell, Emma E. Booker Elementary School Principal, Says Bush Handled Himself Properly On 9/11

"I don't think anyone could have handled it better," Tose'-Rigell told the Sarasota Herald-Tribune in a story published Wednesday. "What would it have served if he had jumped out of his chair and ran out of the room?" LINK

The Anonymous Editor of christianexodus.org Inc. Plans To Take Over South Carolina And Secede

It is evident that the U.S. Constitution has been abandoned under our current federal system, and the efforts of Christian activism to restore our Godly republic have proven futile over the past three decades. The time has come for Christians to withdraw our consent from the current federal government and re-establish the sovereign nation of South Carolina upon the Christian principles once so predominant in America. LINK

Paul Wolfowitz Apologizes For Claiming The Press In Iraq Are Cowards And Rumor Reporters

Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz issued an unusual apology Thursday to war correspondents in Iraq after saying they reported rumors because they were too afraid to leave their Baghdad hotels. LINK

Rep. Deborah Pryce (R-Ohio) And Sen. Olympia Snowe (R-Maine) Draft "Medicare Lottery" Legislation

Medicare is planning a lottery later this year for people with cancer, multiple sclerosis and several other diseases. For the 50,000 winners, the government will start helping pay for their medicine, but more than 450,000 others must wait until 2006. LINK

Monica Lewinsky is destroyed!

Monica Lewinsky says she feels betrayed by Bill Clinton's failure to acknowledge how he destroyed her life in his newly released memoirs.LINK

Blast From The Past...Anybody else remember the story about teenager Monica hounding her high school teacher/lover until it nearly destroyed his life? LINK

But, wait!
Today is Friday News Dump Day!
No telling who else might emerge as a Top Contender...

THIS JUST IN...

Secretary of State Colin Powell Says terrorists in Iraq are responsible for stabilizing Iraq.

The war in Iraq is straining America's military, and terrorists battling U.S. troops should lay down arms and help the new Iraqi government, Secretary of State Colin Powell said.

snip

Powell added: "This is costing the American taxpayers a great deal of money and it is straining our armed forces considerably."

What was your first clue, Sparky?

snip

Powell called on the "terrorists ... former regime elements and murderers to decide whether or not they will stop this activity and support their own leaders ... or whether they will continue to try to kill innocent people, policemen who are trying to protect the Iraqi people."

Could it be that people don't like being invaded, you dimwit? And I love the "their own leaders" lie!

Powell acknowledged that the decision to interfere militarily in Iraq "has created a difficult situation" made more difficult by the insurgency. LINK

Gee! Ya think?

and the beat goes on...