There Be Zombies!

Maybe. While I've always believed that horror story inspired fantasies have natural, scientific explanations, I never thought I would see a case of "zombism" reported as fact by the BBC...

Cambodian Troops Quarantine Quan'sul

Cambodian troops moved into Quan'sul
after Malaria victims attack populace.
There has been a small outbreak of “zombism”
in a small town near the border of Laos
in North-Eastern Cambodia.

The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rating killing victims in fewer than 2 days.

After death, this virus is able to restart the heart of it’s (sic) victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believe to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

Cambodian officials say that the outbreak has been contained and the public has no need to worry.

General Ary Serey had this to say, "We have obtained samples of this new virus and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all."

US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice opposed the plan saying that the Cambodian government holds a great biological weapon and should destroy it immediately. Cambodian officials have yet to comment.

A United Nations team will be dispatched to Cambodia to confirm the safety of biological research in Cambodia. LINK

Typical.

The UN wants to guarantee the safety of important biological research, and Condi Rice wants to destroy the virus before it can even be studied.

Condi would probably advocate ceasing studies of lycanthropy and vampirism, too.

Let's send Condi to that town in Cambodia for an extended stay and see how fast she changes her tiny little mind.

Heavy sigh.

Just in case this is a hoax, I'm submitting this story to Snopes.