Snarky Sermon on the Blog: Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

Believe it, Baby. It's a real movie.

Plot Summary for
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

The first testament says "an eye for an eye." The second testament says "love thy neighbour." The third testament KICKS ASS! The filmmaking team that brought you Harry Knuckles and won the "Spirit of Slamdance" prize with Harry Knuckles and the Treasure of the Aztec Mummy ups the ante with this tale of the ultimate action hero: Jesus Christ. The second coming is upon us, and Jesus has returned to earth. But before he can get down to the serious business of judging the living and the dead, he has to contend with an army of vampires that can walk in the daylight. Combining kung-fu action with biblical prophecy and a liberal dose of humour, the film teams the Savior with Mexican wrestling hero El Santos against mythological horrors and science gone mad, and also manages to address contemporary sexual politics. And did we mention that it's a musical? This sure ain't Sunday School.

If I understand the IMDB info correctly, Jesus and "Mary Magnum" spring into Kung Fu action when vampires start skinning lesbians so they can walk around in the daylight.

Truly heavy sigh.

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go forth today, knowing that this film won awards and made money.

Interesting, to say the least, isn't it?

Go figure. And never underestimate the power of people to take literary license as far as humanly possible.

I mean it, damn it!


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.