Snarky Sermon On The Blog: The "Super-Delux Brand Christian" & The Mother-Daughter Bakery

Today's Guest Minister: Texas resident, Kiss My Big Blue Butt

I recently had reason to purchase a cake for a special occasion.
Just to mess with Commissioner Andy Meyers, I bought it from Nooky's Bakery in Sugar Land. No, I'm serious. I could have bought it anywhere but I drove all the way to Sugar Land just to hack-off Andy Meyers and the Super-DeLux Brand Chrisitians. I feel like that's kinda my duty.
Commish Meyers thinks Nooky's is a sexually oriented business and wants to have it shut down forever because they make cakes resembling ta-tas for parties. When shutting it down didn't work, he spent county time and money trying to make them take down their sign. That didn't work either, and this mother and daughter bakery is still making beautiful cakes for special occasions all over the county.
Nice cake, huh? And it was yummy. Raspberry filling and moist vanilla cake. I'd say it was sinfully good, but Meyers will hire a lawyer to shut down my website. Heck, he tried to make them take down a sign just because it had the word "naughty" on it.
Or maybe it was the word "erotic" on the sign. Apparently that word makes Andy frisky, so he surmises it has the same effect on you.

Which reminds me of an absolute true story a friend of mine tells.
I know it’s true because I know all the parties involved.
My friend has an 85 year old Grandmother who is a stalwart in the Baptist Church. She’s the good kind of Baptist, with a sweet, true and loving heart, not the haughty kind of Baptist.
Anyway, my friend is a coffee connoisseur – she loves different grinds and flavors of coffee from all over the world. Her Granny, wanting to share her granddaughter’s new interest, began telling people that her granddaughter was “all into erotic coffees.”
Well, this is a small town and it didn’t take long for word to get back to me and my friend about what Granny was telling the church, the beauty shop, the butcher, and the man who came to install her new washing machine.
My friend was mortified. Why would Granny be saying something like that?
It took her a full fifteen minutes to realize that Granny meant exotic.
She called Granny immediately to tell her that she was using the wrong word. “Granny,” she said slowly and clearly, “it’s exotic coffees, not erotic coffees.”
“Exotic, erotic, what’s the difference?” Granny wanted to know, “It’s all the same to me.”
Granny has a point, you know.

Anyway, the point of that story is that Andy Meyers better let that sign stay up so Grannys will know the difference.
I guess I should mention that my friend got several serious calls from people wanting to know where to buy these erotic coffees. So, if there’s an interest, perhaps we could mention it to the ladies at Nooky’s.

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go forth today and consider the private lives of those among us who can't tell the difference between debauchery & depravity and free enterprise & lipstick.

"I mean it, damn it!"



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.