White Smoke Watch: Papal Conclave, Day One

Ah, sweet mystery of divine inspiration!

Cardinals Seek Divine Inspiration for Conclave

By Philip Pullella and Crispian Balmer

VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - Roman Catholic cardinals held a solemn Mass praying for divine inspiration to help them pick a successor to Pope John Paul II at a secretive conclave starting later Monday.

The Mass in St. Peter's Basilica was led by 78-year-old German Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, the Vatican's doctrinal chief who is seen by some as a leading candidate for the papal throne. "Above all at this time we pray ceaselessly to the Lord so that after the great gift of Pope John Paul II, he gives us another pastor after his own heart," the silver-haired Ratzinger said in his homily before a packed church. --snip--

In his homily, Ratzinger stressed that the new pope must not be distracted by modern trends but protect the heritage of the Roman Catholic faith.

Protect the heritage?

Hm.

The GOLDEN SPIKE is an award given each year, by the Association of American Editorial Cartoonists, for the best cartoon that was killed by an editor. The purpose of the prize is to shame timid editors who are afraid to run hard-hitting cartoons.

The 2002 GOLDEN SPIKE was awarded to Kirk Anderson of the St. Paul Pioneer Press, whose cowardly editor refused to run the cartoon that is shown above. Congratulations to Kirk for a great killed cartoon!

DIVINE INFLUENCE?

The cardinals, who will deliberate under Michelangelo's masterpiece frescoes in the Sistine, will decide only after they are locked up whether to take a first vote Monday night or wait until Tuesday morning. --snip--

As in medieval times, the cardinals will be banned from communicating with the outside world, but the Vatican has taken new high-tech measures to ensure secrecy in the 21st century.

Mobile phones, newspapers, television, radio and the Internet will be banned. A false floor has been built in the chapel to accommodate electronic counter-bugging measures. LINK

So much for divine inspiration...

1. Shall we pretend that there aren't delivery guys, chamber maids, personal assistants, and caterers moving in and out of the Sistine Chapel and the cardinals' private quarters 24/7 during this papal conclave, who haven't already made lucrative deals with reporters?

2. Should we assume that the papabili (through the centuries) haven't already devised non-verbal methods of sending daily communications to their campaign camps outside the Vatican?

3. Does anyone honestly believe that a progressive cardinal-- or even a moderate-- will be elected to protect the heritage of the Holy Roman Church?

I suppose there's still hope that the church will do the right thing and elect a pope who will apologize for protecting its pedophile priests, but...

We all know the meaning of the code word, heritage.



Enter The Pope's Door,
And Ye Shall Be
Divinely Inspired!

... And ye shall then join me
in a solemn, heavy sigh.