Delilah Boyd: <center>This Week's <i><br>Backside Of The Bell Curve</i><br>Winner!</center>

Friday, July 01, 2005

This Week's
Backside Of The Bell Curve
Winner!

Rightwing Pitchfork & Torch Salesman

William
"Wingnuts only believe what I tell them to believe"
Greene

Never heard of William Greene?

If you believe you have an immortal soul, chances are you're one step closer to paradise if you haven't been duped and/or seduced by this man and his minions.

Greene runs Rightmarch.com, a totally whacked website devoted to demonizing Liberals/ Democrats/ Progressives and organizing the weak-willed and easily beguiled (who think that Jesus & Co. hand out Brownie points for email crusades).

Remember all of that "Liberals are trying to destroy Christmas" crap last year?

William Greene's fingerprints are all over the keyboard that started that insanity.

Some of his recent work includes:

AMERICAN SOLDIERS ARE NOT NAZIS! -- June, 2005
Guest Pitch for WILLIAM GREENE
Senate Minority Whip Dick Durbin (D-IL), who many contend has forgotten about 9-11, made a speech this past week comparing U.S. soldiers guarding prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, to Nazis, Soviets in...

CONSERVATIVES TO "PUNISH” SENATE FILIBUSTER COMPROMISERS -- May, 2005
Guest Pitch for WILLIAM GREENE
RightMarch.com PAC Co-founder William Greene is calling on his base of over one million “Patriotism in Action” activists to take action against the Senate “compromisers” who cut a bad deal that stops Sen....

THE BOLTON VOTE -- May, 2005
Guest Pitch for William Greene
WASHINGTON, DC-- RightMarch.com founder William Greene is lashing out against what he calls a “Democratic Double Standard” being used against John Bolton. Greene urges the Senate Foreign Relations Committee...

NEW TV ADS EXPOSES "DEMOCRAT DOUBLE STANDARD" -- May, 2005
Guest Pitch for William Greene
RightMarch.com founder William Greene is launching a television ad campaign to fight what Greene calls a “Democrat Double Standard” aimed at blocking the confirmation of President Bush’s judicial nominees....

CONSERVATIVES LAUNCH FULL PAGE ADS SUPPORTING BOLTON FOR UN AMBASSADOR -- April, 2005
Guest Pitch for WILLIAM GREENE
RightMarch.com “Patriotism in Action” CONTACT: To schedule a television interview, call: Special Guests/ Jerry McGlothlin at: 630-848-0750 or jerry@specialguests.com CONSERVATIVES LAUNCH FULL PAGE ADS...

JUDICIAL REFORM: ENDING JUDICIAL TYRANNY -- April, 2005
Guest Pitch for WILLIAM GREENE
One week to the day of Terri Schiavo’s passing, a most historic conference occurred, headlined by some of the most respected names in the Judicial Reform movement. The “Confronting The Judicial War On...

WILL TERRI SCHIAVO BE ARRESTED FOR CONTEMPT? -- March, 2005
Guest Pitch for WILLIAM GREENE
WASHINGTON, DC (MARCH 28, 2005)-- Just when it seemed that every possible option has been attempted to keep Terri Schiavo alive, RightMarch.com overnight sent over one million emails to their activist...

TERRI SHINDLER-SCHIAVO:
8 DAY COUNTDOWN TO SAVE HER LIFE -- March, 2005
Guest Pitch for WILLIAM GREENE
March 10, 2005-- What would you do if you only had 8 days to live? Terri Schiavo has been given a death sentence. In 8 days, under court order, she is scheduled to begin serving her sentence of being...

UN TO TAX US? "As if the UN Oil for Food Scandal wasn't bad enough" -- February, 2005
Guest Pitch for WILLIAM GREENE
RightMarch.com Director William Greene is urging Congress and American citizens not to allow the United Nations to get away with their scheme to tax US citizens with what is known as the Law Of the Sea...

INAUGURAL DEMONSTRATORS: Left vs. Right, Blue vs. Red, Battle for Public Attention -- January, 2005
Guest Pitch for WILLIAM GREENE
Last year at the GOP Convention there were both liberal and conservative demonstrators. This week, at the inaugural, it’s like déjà vu all over again. Conducting the march from the Right is RightMarch.com,...

"RATHERGATE" PRODUCER FIRED -- January, 2005
Guest Pitch for William Greene
An independent panel commissioned by CBS concluded that CBS aired an erroneous report about George Bush’s National Guard service. Upon reviewing the 224-page report, Leslie Moonves, co-president and...

7 KEY VICTORIES IN KEEPING CHRIST IN CHRISTMAS -- December, 2004
Guest Pitch for William Greene
WHO: William Greene, founder of RightMarch.com WHAT: Is available for interviews to discuss seven key Christmas victories WHERE: New York, New York, available in-studio or via telephone WHEN: Dec....

VALUES-FRIENDLY ISSUES ADVANCING AT STATE LEVEL -- December, 2004
Guest Pitch for William Greene
The “Values Voters” are riding the momentum from the November elections and initiating “values-friendly” legislation on a state by state basis. In Texas conservative Christians are advancing an amendment...

ACTIVISTS KEEPING CHRIST IN CHRISTMAS -- December, 2004
Guest Pitch for WILLIAM GREENE
Grassroots activists, in conjunction with RightMarch.com, have launched an all out effort to keep Christ in Christmas. RightMarch.com purchased thousands of radio ads nationwide that will air hourly in...

9/11 BILL HELD UP IN CONGRESS For Good Reason! -- December, 2004
Guest Pitch for WILLIAM GREENE
RightMarch.com founder William Greene says it is a good thing that the 9/11 reform bill is being delayed in Congress. During talk show interviews, Greene explains that a group of determined conservative...

And there's so much more!

William Greene is, in my opinion, more dangerous to liberty than 1000 KKKarl Rove clones.

Spread the word about William Greene, and don't let your God-fearing family, friends or neighbors accept any apples from this sorry excuse for an American Patriot.

If your loved ones are already in Greene's clutches, there's only one thing you can do...

Sell them some Amway products.

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Bucky (Brown Bag Blog) says...

The Koufaxes (or "the Sandies") are like the SAG or Golden Globe awards, while the Webbies are comparable to the Oscars. Getting a Koufax denotes being a class act while getting a Webbie, while certainly an honor, takes a little more politickin' than most of the celler-dwelling idealists who blogviate are up for.
From The Official Koufax Award site...

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From The Blog Box:

A Scrivener's Lament is officially your go-to scrivener for the next big electoral college showdown. In this case Scrivener Delilah Boyd is keeping an eye on the Electoral College of Cardinals, who Scriv thinks may at any moment be called upon to fly off to Rome (that's as in fly by airplane; only nuns can fly for real) and pick a new pope. But his Holiness is doing better, you must be thinking. Well, the Scriv ain't so sure and even has actual photographs (you'll have to scroll down a bit) of the Holy Father getting viciously attacked by (assumes Scriv) the Lord's messengers of vengeance - apparently to the delight of little children. Anyhoo, the Lament has been keeping files on top candidates for the next Bishop of Rome so that when the sad day comes, you'll know where to turn for all the horserace action. I mention this only because A Scrivener's Lament has been nominated for a Sandy Award in the Most Humorous Blog category.
At A Scrivener's Lament, Delilah Boyd offers a little sigh over the sudden announcement that the Bushies aren't gonna look for WMDs in Iraq anymore. Then the Scrivener offers a useful list of quotes from the administration hornswaggling the country - oops, I mean being sadly misled by the entire intelligence community - about the possibility of weapons stockpiles in Iraq. Maybe Delilah needs to offer to do some volunteer archiving for large media networks. Apparently NBC, CBS, & ABC's news operations are too cash strapped to afford to hire researchers to dig up obscure, unknown quotes likes these for when the yellowcake hits the fan (or in this case fails to).

Ammunition In Bill O'Reilly's War On Christmas

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5th December
RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if the Managing Director shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00p.m.. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The Managing Director will make a special announcement at the Party.

Merry Christmas to you and your Family.

Pauline

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6th December
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas. However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party.' The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Pauline

FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7th December
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only," you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?

Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believes $10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 8th December
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other, but Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men: each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table, too.

To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed unless the Supreme Court intervenes before the 23rd.

We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food. We suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!

Pauline

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F****** Employees
DATE: 9th December
RE: The ******** Holiday Party

Vegetarian pricks! I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it; you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing the scream right NOW!!

I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drink, drive and die, Jesus-hating Scum!

Pauline (AKA "That Bitch in HR")

FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: 12th December
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and, instead, give everyone the afternoon of December 23rd off with full pay.

Scrivener Humor
A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." So, he goes down into the dark caves... ...underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall, and wailing, "We forgot the "R", we forgot the "R". His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?" With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was celebrate."

Psst! Only first-time visitors are counted, y'all!

Delilah Boyd

Friday, July 01, 2005

This Week's
Backside Of The Bell Curve
Winner!

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Other Great Sites

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Delilah Boyd

Friday, July 01, 2005

This Week's Backside Of The Bell CurveWinner!

0 Comments:

Other Great Sites

Previous Posts

This Week's
Backside Of The Bell Curve
Winner!