Pat Robert$on: This Week's Backside of the Bell Curve Winner!

What's that on the step behind you, Pat?
Fishing with Jack Daniels again?

Radical cleric, Pat Robert$on claims he'$ apologized for claiming that God smote Israeli Prime Minister, Ariel Sharon for dividing up the promised land.

Does this read like an apology?

“I ask your forgiveness and the forgiveness of the people of Israel for remarks I made at the time concerning the writing of the holy prophet Joel and his view of the inviolate nature of the land of Israel.”

Ahem.

Could this "apology" have anything to do with the Israelis smiting Pat'$ $50 million Jesusland Theme Park On The Mount deal?

Angered by Pat Robertson’s suggestion that God punished Prime Minister Ariel Sharon with a stroke, Israel has booted the religious broadcaster from a group of American evangelicals it is working with to establish a Christian tourism center in Galilee. “The minister of tourism has decided that the center will go ahead, the project will go ahead, but it will go ahead with other parties and not Mr. Robertson."

Hm.

Take the Public Eye's Pat Robertson Quiz:

1. Pat Robertson usually wears:

(a) LL Bean boots
(b) penny loafers
(c) Western boots
(d) sandals

2. Who once said of Robertson, "I'm a nurse. I recognize schizoid tendencies when I see them, and I think you're sick."?

(a) his mother
(b) Billy McCormack
(c) his neighbor
(d) his wife

3. Pat Robertson raises:

(a) Arabian horses
(b) poodles
(c) alligators
(d) tropical fish

4. Robertson prophesied that the former Soviet Union would invade:

(a) the United States
(b) China
(c) Israel
(d) Saudi Arabia

5. What popular pair formerly had an act on "The 700 Club"?

(a) Sigfried and Roy
(b) Jim and Tammy
(c) Amos and Andy
(d) Click and Clack

6. What kind of demon does Robertson claim once attacked him in a Seattle motel?

(a) a demon of suicide
(b) a demon of lust
(c) a demon of greed
(d) a poltergeist

7. What historical event does Pat Robertson hope to televise?

(a) the Second Coming
(b) the big California quake
(c) the first manned landing on Mars
(d) the exorcism of Ariel Sharon (my bad!)

8. According to Robertson, Mormon religious beliefs are:

(a) confusing
(b) wrong
(c) scandalous
(d) sound

9. According to Robertson, Jehovah's Witnesses are:

(a) lazy
(b) obnoxious
(c) highly spiritual
(d) not Christians

10. To what does Robertson attribute India's overpopulation, poverty, hunger, illiteracy, and suffering?

(a) the Prime Minister
(b) Hinduism
(c) the weather
(d) British colonialism

11. In Robertson's ideal taxation system, proceeds from a flat 10% tax would go toward:

(a) paying off the national debt
(b) feeding the poor
(c) building highways and bridges
(d) religious instruction

12. According to Robertson, the best form of government is:

(a) theocracy
(b) constitutional monarchy
(c) limited democracy
(d) dictatorship

13. Robertson thinks oral sex is:

(a) disgusting
(b) against nature
(c) unsatisfying
(d) exciting

14. Who did Robertson once fine $100 for insubordination?

(a) Ben Kinchlow
(b) Luciano Pavarotti
(c) Jim Bakker
(d) Donald Wildmon

15. Jamie Buckingham, the late coauthor of Robertson's autobiography, Shout It From the Housetops, wrote that Robertson looked for all the world just like:

(a) Ed Meese
(b) Howdy Doody
(c) Ernest Hemingway
(d) John F. Kennedy

I'll post the answers either later today or tomorrow.

As for Pat'$ obvious motive:




File this under Matthew 24:11: And many false prophets shall rise, and shall deceive many.