Cheney Shoots Friend in a Post-CSI World

Cheney: "So what?"

Other sentiments NOT uttered by the vice president but certainly implied by his lack of candor immediately after shooting 1 out of only 2 others in his hunting party on a 50,000 acre plot of land:

"What are you gonna do about it?"

"You and what army?"

"I can shoot you and get away with it."

"I was so concerned with the victim's the doddering old fart's medical condition that I only called the president's Chief of Staff within the hour, not the police."

"I was so concerned with the victim's the doddering old fart's medical condition-- and not with the fact that I was spending the weekend with 2 women and 1 man, none of whose spouses and/or significant others was present-- that it never occurred to me (or anyone in my medical team, my aides, or my Secret Service detail) to call the police."

"I was so concerned with the victim's the doddering old fart's medical condition that I had to hide from the police the rest of the night and only agree to an 'interview' the next morning."

"I was so concerned with the victim's the doddering old fart's medical condition that it never occurred to me that the police might want to test my blood for alcohol content right away."

"I'm so convinced that I did nothing wrong that I skipped out on my scheduled press conference with the president on Monday."

Here's what happens to regular people (like you and me) when we accidentally shoot another hunter:

A hunter who critically wounded another hunter in November after mistaking him for a deer was sentenced to 20 days on the sheriff's road crew.

Lane County Circuit Judge Doug Mitchell also banned Trevor Kory Foster, 20, of Eugene from hunting during two years of probation and ordered him to pay $865 in attorney's fees and court costs.

He was convicted of misdemeanor assault and negligently wounding another.

Wait! There's more!

Here are a few 2006 VIOLATIONS (Note: It's only the middle of February):

Man enters plea in hunting attack - 9 Feb 2006
Guide loses hunting rights - 8 Feb 2006
Man can't sway judge of innocence in deer hunting case - 28 Jan 2006
Hagerstown man charged with hunting violations - 25 Jan 2006
Drunken hunting alleged - 23 Jan 2006
Wisconsin men facing hunting-related charges in North Dakota - 19 Jan 2006
Pastor fined, loses hunting license in Wisconsin trip incident - 12 Jan 2006
Three men admit to hunting violations - 7 Jan 2006
Georgia guide loses hunting privileges for 12 years - 4 Jan 2006

If you're still wondering why so many of us want the real story on Cheney's "hunting accident," the answer is simple:

This is no longer a pre-CSI world.




In our post-CSI world, we know when the facts and evidence don't add up. We know when a cover up is obvious. And we know that the first few minutes and hours are critical for evidence collection, witness interviews, and suspect interrogation.

CSI is the most popular television show around the world. Because of a CBS TV show, we are a smarter, more demanding public when it comes to crime scene investigation.

Take that, Dick!

File this under: Who's next on Cheney's list of hunting buddies?