Randi Rhodes Does Rumsfeld

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Randi'’s show 8/3/06--on Rummy testifying on Armed Services Committee

A few snips (3:05)

(archived on www.whiterosesociety.org )

Randi'’s Rummy:”
“Do I want to testify? No. Is there a chance that I will? I doubt it. Should I be open and honest if I did? Yes. If I did would I look ridiculous? Oh my goodness, yes. Would it be obvious that I don’t know what I’m doing? Of course. Would people listen and say: henny penny the sky is falling down--this is our secretary of defense? Gracious yes. Should I do it? Absolutely not.”

Randi: “He interrogates himself, he has these amazing conversations with himself.

Randi’s Rummy:
“Well, if I do go and testify should I tell the truth? Of course I should tell the truth. Is the truth flattering to me? No. Then I’ll just interrogate myself, I’ll ask myself the questions that I want answered and I will answer them.”

Real Rummy:
“Are there still Taliban around? You bet. Are they occupying safe havens in Pakistan and other places? Certainly they are. Is the violence up? Yes. Does the violence tend to be up during the summer, spring, summer and fall months? Yes it does; and it tends to decline during the winter period. Does that represent failed policy? I don’t know.”

Randi’s Rummy:
“Is the Taliban regrouped? Yes. Are they selling poppies to finance themselves? Probably. Am I doing heroin? Who knows?”

Real Rummy:
“Are there setbacks? Yes. Are there things people can’t anticipate? Yes. Does the enemy have a brain and continue to make adjustments on the ground requiring our forces to continue to make adjustments? You bet. Is that going to continue to be the case? I think so. Is this problem going to get solved in the near term about this long struggle against violent extremism? No, I don’t believe it is.”

Real Rummy:
“If one sees a chart that shows a deterioration like this over a five, six, seven, ten year period one has to assume that the readiness of the military--in this case, the army-- has deteriorated. The fact of the matter is if you begin with a standard of requirement that is X, then you show the beginning of the chart and at the end you have changed your requirement because you’ve decided you need different things, you’ve learned from the experiences of the last period of years and you’ve increased your requirements to 5X. Then you compare yourself against 5X. So if you’ve improved 300%--you were at 100% to begin at 1X and now you need 5X--you’ve decided your requirements different, you’ve then improved 300% to get there you’re still short of that requirement and that’s what shows the deterioration.”

Randi: “All because he doesn’t like the phrase: CIVIL WAR.”

Randi’s Rummy when asked if this is a civil war:
“Well, it all depends, if X marks the spot and then you get to X and then you say well I want 5X and then of course you have X then you’re 4X short of the original requirement but you’re 4X ahead of the actual original requirement. So now you’ve gotta make up four fold for the 5X differentiation between the X and the 5X but of course at the beginning you were only asking for X so that is a five fold increase…..in X.”

Randi’s Rummy:
“Is this a civil war? No. Is there a Ken Burns civil war documentary? No. Is it true that you have Shia against Sunni? Yes. Is it north and south? Oh gracious yes, but my goodness, there is also an east and a west, so this is not a classical civil war, no. If it were would I be Grant or would I be Lee? Did Lee lose? Yes. But was Grant a drunk? Of course. So who knows?”

Randi’s Rummy:
“Is it a civil war? No. Is there an increased number of deaths per day? Yes. Is it Iraqi upon Iraqi violence? I would say yes. Does that constitute a civil war? Who knows?”

Randi’s Rummy:
“You can stand me up for eight hours, I don’t really care. Does it hurt my feet to stand for eight hours? Why, no it doesn’t. Do I work standing up for eight hours? Yes I do. If it’s good enough for me is it good enough for the president of the United States? No it’s not, he’s a big desk sort of a guy. Is it good enough for the Iraqi’s to stand up for eight hours? I’d say yes it is. Do I work handcuffed in a high handcuffed position? No I don’t. Do I work in the nude? That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

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