Monica's Perjury Problem? Her Attorney Is A Bigger Problem!

I was going to detail this morning why Monica Goodling's 5th amendment dodge simply reeks of "I'm not talking because BushCo's Justice Dept is teeming with criminals;" howewer, Dan Froomkin has already done it:

Juries in criminal cases are sternly lectured not to assume guilt when a defendant takes the Fifth. It is, after all, a Constitutional right.

But when a fairly minor player in what had heretofore not been considered a criminal investigation suddenly admits that she faces legal jeopardy if she tells the truth to a Congressional panel? Well, in that case, wild speculation is an inevitable and appropriate reaction.

For one, it's not at all clear what she's trying to say. Undeniably, if she chose to lie to the panel, she could face perjury charges. Her recourse, therefore, would appear to be to tell the truth.

So is she saying that if she told the truth, she would have to admit a crime? What crime?

Or is she saying something else: That she'd have to admit someone else's criminal behavior? Well, that's not something you can take the Fifth to avoid. Sorry.

Or is she just afraid of being grilled by an antagonistic bunch of congressmen? Well, that's not something you can take the Fifth to avoid either.

Thanks, Monica! Without you and your Keating Five lawyer, we might never have found the smoking gun... and whoever suggested she hire attorney John Dowd (aka "Protector of the realm") really knew Monica was a neophyte of the first degree.

Okay, let's talk about John M. Dowd for a gosh-darn minute.

He's a partner at what is arguably Washington's most politically influential law firm, Akin Gump Strauss Hauer & Feld. No commas, no conscience (at least where Dowd and Fife Symington are concerned). Dowd has peppered New Times with e-mails and demand letters over the years. His specialty is representing government officials in big-time legal trouble. Here's a snippet from Dowd's résumé on the Akin Gump Web site: "Mr. Dowd is noted for his representation of a U.S. district judge, a former U.S. attorney and two U.S. senators. . . . Mr. Dowd has represented a U.S. senator before the Department of Justice and the Senate Ethics Committee [this is John McCain, who was dragged before Ethics as one of the infamous "Keating Five" senators]." A couple of legally troubled governors are also thrown into the mix on his curriculum vitae.

Pass the popcorn.

And thank Monica for the fireworks!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.