Sunday, December 14, 2008

Today's Sermon: What's More Important? Human Life Or Porcelain Baby Jesus?

Too bad, humans. You lose.

Baby Jesus now protected by GPS devices

And now for some good news on the Baby Jesus front. Hooligans who snatch the baby from his manger may think twice now that GPS devices are increasingly being installed to thwart Nativity scene thefts. In the latest case, an 18-year old woman was apprehended for nabbing a Baby Jesus in Florida.

This year, a New York-based security firm is offering a month’s worth of free camera and GPS systems to religious groups and other nonprofits to help battle a growing trend of theft and vandalism for their displays, according to the Associated Press. Approximately 70 churches and synagogues have signed up thus far.

The Guardian reports that a GPS device helped police track down a ceramic Baby Jesus that had been stolen for the second year in a row in Palm Beach County, Fla.

According to the report: “Police were able to track it down to a nearby home where it was found face down on a carpet. An 18-year-old woman is being prosecuted over the theft.”

Face down on the carpet?????!!!!!?????

Oh, the porcelain tragedy!

Ah, Florida. Where there are 723 violent crimes per 100,000 people.

And Porcelain Baby Jesus is more important than people.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and ponder your relative importance in a land filled with companies more concerned with public relations than fighting violent crime.

And leave Porcelain Baby Jesus alone.

I mean it, damn it!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- and and


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