Brother Bush's Traveling Salvation Show

Pack up the babies!
Grab the old ladies!

G.O.P. Plans Spectacle to Jazz Up Convention

By MICHAEL SLACKMAN
Published: August 10, 2004

When the curtain goes up on the Republican National Convention on Aug. 30, the supporting cast will include gospel- and country-music performers, elaborate videos, and celebrities doing what they can to help market President Bush's ideas and vision for America, one of the convention's organizers said yesterday.

Hot August night
And the leaves hanging down
And the grass on the ground smelling sweet...

But the convention will present not only politicians and celebrities on each of its four days. People from around the country have been invited to offer an invocation or benediction or to make some other short statement, said Frank Breeden, the convention's director of entertainment, who called this aspect of the program "Preachers and Patriots."

Room gets suddenly still
And when you'd almost bet
You could hear yourself sweat, he walks in
Eyes black as coal
And when he lifts his face
Every ear in the place is on him...

And so the party hired Mr. Breeden, a former president of the Gospel Music Association renowned in the Christian music industry, to help produce a show that carefully weaves the party's political message with a mix of music, star power and patriotic symbolism.

Take my hand in yours
Walk with me this day
In my heart, I know
I will never stray
Halle, halle, halle, halle, halle, halle, halle

Mr. Breeden described some challenges in trying to find celebrities for the G.O.P. event. He said that on many occasions he found there were entertainers who supported the president, or Republican ideas, but who felt their careers would be hurt if they made that support public. LINK

The 2004 Republican Convention Song Selection
(Believe it, Baby! These are real songs!)

Lynn Cheney - Do You Love As Good As You Look?

Condi Rice - Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight?

George Bush - Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
George Bush - How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?

Karl Rove - Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed

Laura Bush - Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye
Laura Bush - You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly

Dick Cheney - Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

Tom Ridge - How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

Paul Wolfowitz - I Been Roped And Thrown By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral
Paul Wolfowitz - Oh, I've Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down

Donald Rumsfeld - My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink, And I Don't Love Jesus

And a few other favorites
(Sung by Has Been, Never Was, and Never Will Be)

I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling
I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me
I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.
I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You
I Wanna Whip Your Cow
I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!
I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy
I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life
I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised
I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart
I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm Waiting In Your Welfare Line
If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low
If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I'd Blow It All On You
If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me
If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?
Mama Get The Hammer (There's A Fly On Papa's Head)
May The Bird Of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose
My Every Day Silver Is Plastic
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him...
Pardon Me, I've Got Someone To Kill
She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft
She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart
She's Got Freckles On Her, But She's Pretty
Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone
They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From Breakin' Out
Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart
When You Leave, Walk Out Backwards, So I'll Think You're Walking In
You Can't Have Your Kate And Edith Too
You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd
You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat
You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The banister Of Life

Brother Bush Or Brother Love?
The original is always better!



Neil Diamond's "Brother Love's
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