Offended Or Not Offended: Choose Wisely, Fundies!

Poor Fundies! Always the victims, aren't they?

As Dolly Parton said in Straight Talk, "Get down off the cross. Somebody needs the wood."

Evidently, the fundies over at the Traditional Values Coalition are outraged. Outraged, I tell you! It seems that some vicious (trans. effing clever) person duped Drudge and MSNBC into falling for a satirical send up of the obvious, yet unvoiced, TVC reaction to First (she's no) Lady Laura Bush's totally lame stand up routine at last week's White House Correspondents' Association
Dinner.

Here's the effing clever version:

Conservative Christians Not
Laughing at First Lady's Comedy Act

First Lady Laura Bush may have stolen the show with
her surprise comedy routine at this weekend's White
House Correspondents' Association Dinner, but her
jokes and one-liners have made her no new friends
among conservative Christians. In an official
statement, one 'pro-family' advocacy group warned that
Mrs. Bush's jokes at the President's expense were in
violation of the Biblical command that wives respect
their husbands.

Some shocked by Mrs. Bush's
reference to herself as a "desperate
housewife"

By Russell D'Arby

WASHINGTON, DCThe First Lady may have stolen the show
with her surprise comedy routine at the 91st White
House Correspondents' Association Dinner, but not
everyone appreciated her jokes and one-liners poking
fun at President Bush. At least one organization of
conservative Christians quickly lashed out at Mrs.
Bush's performance, warning that her remarks at the
President's expense were a public refutation of the
Biblical command that wives should respect their
husbands.

According to an official statement released over the
weekend by the Coalition for Traditional Values, an
organization that seeks a more flexible relationship
between church and state, Mrs. Bush's jokes at her
husband's expense amounted to a public emasculation of
the President. Pastor Roy DeLong, the statement's
author and chair of the group, warns that the First
Lady's performance comes at a time when the Mr. Bush's
"manliness is already under attack."

Laura: Meet Ephesians

"As a believer, President Bush is no doubt familiar
with the passage from Ephesians that says 'Wives,
submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the
Lord,'" says Mr. DeLong. "That means that just as
Christ is the head of the church, the husband is the
head of the wife. That is not the

Mrs. Bush interrupted a speech being given by her
husband at the annual dinner, remarking that "I have a
few things I want to say for a change." She then
proceeded to mock his performance, both public ("if
you really want to end tyranny in the world, you're
going to have to stay up later") and private, noting
that by nine o'clock, Mr. Bush, whom she referred to
as "Mr. Excitement," is typically sound asleep.

"One of the Proverbs says that 'a virtuous woman is a
crown to her husband, but she that maketh him ashamed
is as rottenness in his bones," notes Mr. DeLong. "I
bet President Bush is feeling pretty rotten today."

Manliness in question

The rebuke to the First Lady's stand-up act comes on
the heels of mounting concern about the President's
image. Last week, Mr. Bush was seen holding hands with
Crown Prince Abdullah of Saudi Arabia. Then the
President raised eyebrows anew when he asked a crowd
of supporters in Galveston, TX if they celebrated
Splash Day, an annual gay pride event in that state,
best known for attracting tens of thousands of buff
men, wearing little more than suntan oil.

Even some members of Mr. Bush's famously loyal party
looked askance at his recommendation during a speech
on the nation's energy needs last week, when he
encouraged Americans to consider driving hybrid
vehicles, widely believed to be 'gay' cars.

Depraved housewives?

While the Coalition for Traditional Values was the
first conservative advocacy group to jump on the First
Lady's comments, more criticism is expected. In her
remarks, Mrs. Bush likened herself to a desperate
housewife, a reference to the hit show on ABC, noting
that she watches the show with Lynne Cheney, wife of
the Vice President.

"Desperate Housewives" has come under heavy fire from
pro-family groups, including the American Decency
Association, which has called for a boycott of ABC for
airing the "degraded" show. Last fall, Mrs. Cheney
asked the federal government to step in to protect the
nation's children from the "Desperate Housewives."

Do you think the First Lady's comedy act was offensive
to Judeo-Christian values? Contact Russell Darby at
russdarb@yahoo.com LINK

No wonder Drudge and MSNBC were confused. TVC or CTV? There are so many freakin' fundie front hate groups that it would take the God of Abraham to keep score.

Anyway, the TVC wasn't amused. At all. But they do, however, take the opportunity to beg for donations before they allow you to click on this story...

TVC Victimized By Phony Press Release Criticizing First Lady Laura Bush

May 5, 2005 Last weekend, an anonymous individual
created a phony letter with an altered TVC logo on it,
to criticize First Lady Laura Bush at the White House
Correspondents Association Dinner on April 30 th.

The bogus group called the Coalition for Traditional
Values, issued its letter supposedly written by a Rev.
Roy DeLong. The phony letter was picked up by the
Drudge Report and reported it as fact instead of
satire.

TVCs phone has been ringing off the hook from
reporters asking for more information. MSNBC was
conned into thinking this was a real group. They
called TVC to book a spokesman as a guest based on
this satirical letter.

In her satirical statements at the correspondents
dinner, the First Lady surprised the audience with her
hilarious comments and many press reports indicate
that she stole the show.

The Washington Times covered her comments and
headlined the article: Laura leaves em laughing,
gasping. According to the Times, she worked the
ballroom like a seasoned stand-up comic.

In her humorous remarks, she said: George always says
hes delighted to come to these press dinners.
Baloney. Hes usually in bed by now. Im not kidding.
I said to him the other day, George, if you really
want to end tyranny in the world, youre going to have
to stay up later.

Rev. DeLong said in his satirical letter: we saw our
President undermined, mocked and emasculated by his
own wife on the most public of stages, and at a time
when his manliness is already under attack. We saw the
leader of the free world seemingly unable to lead his
own family.

TVC issued a press release on May 2 to debunk this
latest attack against our organization. LINK

Let's recap...

The TVC (not to be confused with the fictitious CTV), by its silence on the subject, has no problem with George W.'s equine penis adventure, Laura's confessed Desperate Housewife status, or Laura/Karen Hughes/Lynn Cheney frequenting a male stripper establishment?

If you avoid Scylla, you'll surely meet Charybdis, fundies.

Modern translation: You're either offended by Laura's remarks, or you're not offended. Choose wisely, fundies. You're damned if you are and damned if you aren't.

By the way, what will we tell the children about the TVC's reaction to Laura Bush's comments?

Heavy, chortling sigh.