Vice President Dick Cheney Is A Coward

That's the only possible explanation for his behavior after shooting his hunting partner in the face last Saturday.

Forget the spin, and just think about it for a minute.

Dick Cheney didn't grab a cell phone and call 911, and he didn't order anyone else to do it, either. Instead, either he or one of his minions decided to wait at least 20 minutes for Cheney's personal ambulance crew to arrive on the scene and assess the old man's wounds.

Why? Dick Cheney's reputation (such as it, er, isn't) was obviously Priority 1. Since Mr. Whittington had the bad manners not to get up and continue hunting-- or at least die on the spot so The Armstrongs could handle the whole affair in-house, Dick Cheney had no other option than to spirit the old man as far away from the scene as possible.

Dick Cheney didn't call for his victim to be airlifted to a Trauma I center immediately, either. Instead, he treated Whittington to a bumpy ride to an obscure Kingsville hospital-- farther away than Christus Spohn in Corpus Christi.

Why was Whittington's care not Priority 1? Dick Cheney is a coward.

Nor did Dick Cheney travel with his victim to the Kingsville hospital. According to reports, Dick Cheney went back to the main house and poured himself a cocktail.

Why? Dick Cheney admits that he had "a beer" at lunch. "Lunch" was a picnic that ended sometime between 3:00 and 4:00, when the hunting party recommenced. So Dick Cheney knew he had alcohol in his system. Not wanting the world to know that he shot a man in the face after consuming alcohol, Dick Cheney consumed some more, knowing full well that "I had a drink to calm my nerves, officer" would explain a positive blood alcohol test-- if it came to that.

Also, if Vice President Dick Cheney had been seen accompanying Whittington, the story would've hit the wires like an irresponsible trigger finger. Again, Whittington's condidtion was not Priority 1.

By 7:00, President George W. Bush knew what had happened, and he did nothing to inform the public. Dick Cheney did nothing to inform the public. Mrs. Armstrong did nothing to inform the public. Local law enforcement did nothing to inform the public. The Kingsville hospital did nothing to inform the public, and still Whittington had the bad manners not to get up and go home-- or die.

Dick Cheney spent Saturday evening at the Armstrong Ranch thusly: at a dinner party; in bed by 10:00. Harry Whittington spent the evening traveling by ambulance to Kingsville (where his condition was deemed too serious for the doctors to handle) and finally being airlifted to Corpus Christi (much closer to the ranch), where he was immediately rushed to the intensive care unit.

Why? The dinner party was obviously a strategy session: Mrs. Armstrong kept local law enforcement at bay and soothed Whittington's family while Andrew Card, Karl Rove, and other unnamed co-conspirators concocted a new events timeline and explanation-- just in case Dick Cheney needed them. Cheney was again Priority 1.

Here's the part that we Texans all understand, y'all: non-lethal hunting accidents are usually no more than a three-sentence blurb in the local fishwrap's sports section. Thus, the intended fate of Mr. Whittington's injury report. Thus, the decision for Mrs. Armstrong to call a trusted local reporter to write said three-sentence blurb. Also, the decision was made to shift the blame to the victim, himself. Thus, Dick Cheney was again Priority 1.

Why? If the story doesn't get out that Vice President Dick Cheney shot a man in the face, did it really happen? Hell, no.

And here's where the whole ball of wax melted, y'all: Dick Cheney trusted Mrs. Armstrong not to screw up.

Big mistake.

Mrs. Armstrong's story changed like the Texas wind every time she opened her ranch-sized mouth: first, she "saw" what happened, and it was Whittington's fault; next, she was sitting in the car when she saw the Secret Service running, and she thought Cheney had had a heart attack.

Why? Lies will out when the liar enjoys the spotlight. Yes, Cheney was Priority 1, but Mrs. Armstrong just couldn't help herself.

Another big mistake.

Mrs. Armstrong owns Kenedy County the same way Pollyanna's Aunt Polly owned her town. By limiting law enforcement's access to the scene, the vice president, and all other witnesses, justice was quashed, and but good, y'all.

Why? Justice in podunk Texas has nothing to do with "speaking for the victim." And Dick Cheney was Priority 1. That's like an ace up a podunk deputy's sleeve, y'all.

On Sunday, Dick Cheney shook the local law guy's hand and calmly explained that it was nothing more than a hunting accident, he packed his bags, he visited Whittington for a few minutes, and he left the state. Case closed. Mrs. Armstrong spent all morning trying to find her favorite in-the-pocket-reporter (while the Sunday talk shows were in progress) and finally gave the story to the sports/ entertainment/ whatever reporter was pulling weekend news desk duty. Dick Cheney was Priority 1.

Why? Mrs. Armstrong thought the story would end then and there after law enforcement agreed to look the other way, and a newbie reporter got a story from the Ranch Queen of the County.

But Mrs. Armstrong never thought the newbie reporter would actually follow the rules of journalism school and call the White House for confirmation.

Oops. Then, the cat was out of the bag and running for the hills.

But that turned out OK. By then, the Sunday talk shows were wrapping up. Dick Cheney was Priority 1, after all.

What about Mr. Whittington?

Doing the right thing was the last thing on Dick Cheney's mind when he watched 78-year-old Harry Whittington fall. Doing the right thing was the last thing on Mrs. Armstrong's mind when she lied about what happened. Doing the right thing was the last thing the Secret Service detail had in mind when they allowed several laws to be broken during this botched cover up. Doing the right thing was not even considered when local law enforcement closed the case without investigating thoroughly on behalf of the victim.

Doing the right thing was also dumped with the day's trash when hospital staff allowed White House doctors and communications personnel to control both the medical and information treatment. The lies are legion: Mr. Whittington didn't have a heart attack (as reported); Mr. Whittington was shot in the heart muscle.

Unintended consequences abound, though: President George W. Bush looks like a fool; Mrs. Armstrong looks like a fool; Kenedy County law enforcement looks foolish; and Christus Spohn Hospital looks foolish.

Dick Cheney just looks like a coward.

This was not an isolated incident, handled poorly by a group of concerned friends. This was just another in a long list of decisions by Bush administration/ Texas Big Oil/ Corporation Cronies NOT to do the right thing. The right thing was not Priority 1.

Vice President Dick Cheney is a coward. A Pure-D coward. Mr. Whittington should have been Priority 1. Period.




So you think you know Delilah?

Judges 16:19-- And she made him sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.