Snarky Sermon on the Blog: The Christian S&M "Spanking" Biz

The internet tubes were all abuzz this week about Christian "Spanking" books and clothing items for sale on a website called "Christian Domestic Discipline," where "Loving Wife Spanking in a Christian Marriage" is the main event.

Before you explore the soft-porn fiction, the crotchless pantaloons and other items for sale on the website, here's a quote from the homepage:

Though we recognize by its very nature this subject can be erotic, we will keep this website as clean and wholesome as possible. However, we will not seek to deny the erotic nature of some CDD marriages as we believe it is a natural consequence of following God's plan. After all, He created eroticism to be enjoyed inside a Christian marriage.

Ready to explore the site? Here's a good place to begin:

When we look at Biblical authority, we see that anywhere it is given, the right and means to enforce it is given as well. Otherwise, why would those in authority have to answer for the behavior of those under them? It is no different with our husbands. Having been given authority over their wives, they have the right in God’s eyes to enforce their rule. Authority without the means to back it up is a sham and the person in that position no more than a figurehead. True authority always comes with the right of enforcement.

Many husbands feel unworthy of enforcing their authority. They realize they are not perfect and wonder what gives them the right to correct their wives when they themselves sin. The answer is their God-given position. Outside of God, no one is perfect, but those in authority have a responsibility to see their will enforced. Your boss at work is not perfect, yet no one thinks a thing about it when an employee is reprimanded, required to work overtime to fix a mistake, or suffers some other penalty for misbehavior. No parent is perfect, but we know it is necessary for the child’s own sake that he be corrected. It is no different with a husband. He is not perfect, but he has a responsibility to God and to his wife to correct her when she sins, for her own sake, for her marriage’s sake, and for the Kingdom’s sake.

I am often asked, “But who corrects him?”

My answer is always, “God corrects him.”

In a marriage, a husband is answerable to the Lord for how he lives his life and how he treats one of the King’s daughters.

The site's author notes that CDD is nothing new. In fact, here's a little "historical reference" on the site:

Your wife should not pursue an acquaintance with wizards or sorcerers. She must not practice sorcery herself. She should not allow her male and female peasants into the household buildings.

Criminy! Then, the author has the nerve to cite an 1868 court ruling:

SUPREME COURT OF NORTH CAROLINA, RALEIGH

61 N.C. 453; 1868 N.C. LEXIS 38; 1 Phil. Law 453

January, 1868, Decided

PRIOR HISTORY: [**1] ASSAULT AND BATTERY, tried before Little, J., at Fall Term, 1867, of the Superior Court of WILKES.

The defendant was indicted for an assault and battery upon his wife, Elizabeth Rhodes. Upon the evidence submitted to them the jury returned the following special verdict:

"We find that the defendant struck Elizabeth Rhodes, his wife, three licks, with a switch about the size of one of his fingers (but not as large as a man's thumb), without any provocation except some words uttered by her and not recollected by the witness."

His Honor was of opinion that the defendant had a right to whip his wife with a switch no larger than his thumb, and that upon the facts found in the special verdict he was not guilty in law.

While S&M is not my idea of a good time (No way; No how!), I suppose there are people out there who can and do practice such physical acts without debasing and/or harming others. Of course, anything's possible, right? I mean, the ghost of Elvis could be walking the streets of Memphis right now in the realm of "All things are possible." Or in The Twilight Zone.

As for the historical church's strict doctrinaires, that website's glossary is just plain creepy, especially the entries for "Maintenance Spanking" and "Pre-emptive Spanking."

No wonder this magazine is gaining in popularity...





Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today in the knowledge that a lot of women may put up with crap for a while, but would you want to be on the "Spankee" side of a bruised, scarred woman packing heat?

Think about it before you reach for that switch, "Spanker" Wannabes.

I mean it, damn it!


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.