Sunday, September 23, 2007

Today's Sermon: Are Mormons Funny?

We all know by now that former Governor Mitt Romney has a Bush brazillion dollars to spend on a presidential campaign. Naturally, most of us don't know Jack about Romney's religion; therefore, it's time we started learning about what makes a Mormon tick.

My first question:Are Mormons funny?

This temple baptistery probably doesn't seem funny to Mormons.

So, where does one go to find out about religions and humor?


I googled "Funny Mormon" and found this:

Mormon Joke Quiz I

What type of Mormon Personality do you have?
Take this 10 question quiz to find out!

Q: When you hear Anti-Nephi-Lehi you think:

Nephi's stupid brothers
People of Ammon
The Liahona
The city of Mexico

Q: Administering the Sacrament means:

Passing the plate for donations
Planning a meeting
Going to California
Blessing of the Bread and Water

Q: A Stake President is:

The best steak cooker in town
The presider of the Stake and its members
The Bishop
The president of Saints Teaching And Keeping Endowments

Q: Seminary classes are:

For morning people only
For learning about graveyards
None of the above

Q: What year was the LDS Church founded?


Q: Who was the 1st Latter-day Prophet?

Joseph Smith
Abraham Lincoln
George Washington
Neil Diamond

Q: Which of these men is NOT an Apostle?

Richard Scott
Jeffery Holland
Joseph Smith
Henry Eyring

Q: Repentance is for whom?

Everyone but you
Just sinners
All of the Above

Q: Pick the correct Article of Faith:

We believe in being rich and famous.
We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.
We believe in doing good to ourselves.
We believe in green jello salad.

Q: How many LDS Church members are there?

Over 11 Million
Over 100 Billion (if you count the dead)
Just me, myself, and I

Here's my score:
Your score is 0%. Are you sure that you're a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

Do Mormons like Romney laugh their asses off when taking that "funny" quiz?

I guess, if you believe the things Mitt Romney believes...

10. God resides near a planet called Kolob

9. We baptize dead people

8. Urim and Thummim - The Seer Stones

7. The Garden of Eden was in Missouri

6. Mormons still practice polygamy - sort of

5. Temple Garments

4. The Book of Mormon is Perfect

3. God Discriminated (until 1978)

2. We Can Become Gods!

1. A Living Prophet

... Then that Mormon Quiz could be considered funny.

Sorry. I just don't see the humor.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and consider why Mormons wear magic underwear with Masonic compass and square-looking symbols stitched in specific places...

And why that sounds incredibly funny to non-Mormons.

Think about it.

I mean it, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--


Blogger boiler said...

Todays Sermon:Is Delilah Boyd an idiot?

Well...She had a question about a 13 million people so she just typed two words on google and then she labeled every one of them!! (isn't the internet great?)

Oh and how does someone practice polygamy-sort of? you either have a bunch of wives or you don't! Kind of like you are "sort-of" a stupid ass?

Oh and I see that you moderate your i don't plan on seeing this can i expect a uneducated BIGOT to be open-minded?

Oh and at least God stopped discriminating in 1978....Delilah you need to catch up!

8:28 PM  
Blogger Carter said...

Mormons are a lot cooler than you give them credit for.

8:29 AM  

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