Open Wide, Michelle!
Michelle Obama: "Don't trust bloggers or someone else's opinion, because people lie."
Bloggers. Like Daily ObamaKos? Talking ObamaPoints Memo? ObamaBuzzflash? The HuffingOBAMAton Post? And all of the others, Michelle?
Someone else's opinion?
Like...um, yours, Michelle?
So... anything and everything negative ever said about you and your husband is a lie?
This is not, of course, the first time Michelle Obama has opened her mouth and said something profoundly stupid...
"For the first time in my adult life, I am proud of my country. Because it feels like hope is making a comeback."
Hm. I didn't know "hope" was out of fashion, Michelle.
"Barack is one of the smartest people you will ever encounter who will deign to enter this messy thing called politics."
Yeah, Michelle. Like Adlai Stephenson and all of those other intellectual lightweights (as compared to Barack H., no doubt) have never dared to enter politics.
"Before we can work on the problems, we have to fix our souls. Our souls are broken in this nation."
Sorry, Michelle. "Warning! Your soul needs fixing" hasn't lit up my supernatural dashboard yet.
"There is still a lot of hard work that we as a country need to do. They can’t look to any one individual, whether it’s Barack or it’s the next new hope that’s going to appear to be that savior."
The next new hope? That savior? What does this mean, Michelle? That Barack H. is our last hope?
"If we win Iowa, then we can move to the world as it should be."
The world, Michelle? Huh?
"Ain't no black people in Iowa!"
The black people in Iowa might disagree, Michelle.
"Black Americans will wake up and get it."
Ask Sugar and Uppity about that, Michelle.
"Life is not good. We’re a country that is just downright mean. We are guided by fear. We’re a nation of cynics, sloths, and complacents."
And you wonder why people think you're unpatriotic, Michelle.
"You know, in my household, over the last year we have just shifted to organic."
And you have a personal trainer (4 X per week), a personal organic chef, and a full-time nanny... but life is "not good," Michelle?
"GIVE US SOMETHING HERE!"
Isn't your $300K+ annual salary enough? How about your $1.6 million mansion? Still not enough?
"I come to this with a lot of interesting talents, but I think it would be unfair of me to say today what I would do in a couple of years. I need to be prepared to do what the country needs me to do at the time."
Hell's bells, Michelle. Pole dancers have "interesting talents." By the way, how do you "prepare" yourself for what you now say you have no idea will be asked of you? Hard to slam Clinton's first lady accomplishments while you're applying for the same job, isn't it?
"We need some kind of change. We can’t cut off our noses to spite our faces."
This was your slap at Clinton supporters (yesterday) who are leaving the party in droves because of you and your husband. Nice sentiment, Michelle. Unifying.
"There’s an inconvenience factor there, and if we’re going to uproot our lives, then let’s hopefully make a real big dent in what it means to be president of the United States."
Translation: If we go to all of this trouble, we'd better be richly rewarded, damn it. 'Cause it's way to much trouble, otherwise.
"You work and you struggle, you do everything that they say, and you think you’re getting close to the bar and you’re working hard, and you’re sacrificing, and then you get to the bar, you’re right there, you’re reaching out for the bar, you think you have it, and then what happens? They move the bar. They raise it up. They shift it to the left and to the right. It’s always just quite out of reach."
Hm. Sounds more like something Clinton should have said... but didn't, of course, because it sounds so mewly-mouthed.
"I would have to think about supporting Clinton if she is the nominee."
(See: cut off our noses to spite our faces above.)
"If you can't run your house, you can't run the White House."
OK, I've struggled with this one. It either concerns Bill Clinton's affair, "good little housewife" nonsense slamming Senator Clinton, or that Million Man March/ Promise Keepers/ mega-macho "Leave It To Bachelor Father Knows Best" ruling the household crap.
"I never worry about things I can't affect, and with fidelity ... that is between Barack and me." (Ebony, March 2006)
Hm. You think Republicans will ignore this quote, Michelle?
Keep in mind that Barack Obama had already written two so-called autobiographies and had was a sitting US senator, running for the presidency, when you read my all-time favorite Michelle Obama quote:
"And the thing that I want everybody in this country to understand about Barack is he was doing a lot of the work in the shadows. So this inexperience that folks are talking about comes from the fact that you don't know this man, you don't know what he's done because he hasn't been out there selling himself. It's much easier to focus on a few present votes rather than focusing on all the hard work that Barack has done for regular people. Work that no other front-runner in this race can claim."
In Michelleville, 150 documented instances become "a few present votes."
In Michelleville, "In the shadows" doesn't mean "sub rosa dealings with Rezko, Ayers, Wright, Farrakhan, Pfleger, Project Islamic Hope, or any other...um, not so bitter people."
In Michelleville, no other Democrat ever did any hard work for anyone before Barack H. came along.
Keep talking, Michelle.
And to the DNC Obama Appeasers who fear being called racists if they don't give Barack Obama the nomination on a silver platter, here's a quote for you...
"An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last." - Sir Winston Churchill
Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.