Sunday, October 12, 2008

Today's Sermon: Before You Bite Into That Sandwich...

... Check the tomato slice carefully.

Because it might be Jesus.


Here's what one true believer is selling on EBay:

You guessed it.

The Jesus Tomato.

The testament of the one true Jesus Tomato owner:

After I made a salad for my family, I was shocked to see this tomato (which I refer to as my Jesus Tomato) smiling up at me. I was having a really bad day and then I saw this tomato, smiling, and I realized it must be a sign from above to let me know that everything is going to be alright! I could not eat the tomato. I washed the dill dressing from it and put it in a ziplock bag and in the freezer so that it would stay fresh, and smiling! I was going to keep the tomato but then I realized that all of us need a sign from above, even if it is in the form of a tomato.

The current EBay bid is $1.00.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today, knowing that frozen tomato slices will become mushy when thawed and are best suited for soups and sauces.

And think about how a holy tomato slice could redefine transubstantiation... on rye, with a dollop of mayo.

Or in a delicious soup or sauce.

Just think about it.

I mean it, damn it!

Number of days since Donna Brazile promised to leave the party if superdelegates decided the Dem nominee:

Donna has known for a long time now that superdelegates would be necessary for any Dem candidate to win the nomination this year. Ask Donna when she intends to keep her promise.
Don't hold your breath awaiting a reply.

Here's Donna now...

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- and and


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