Tuesday, January 20, 2009

In Case Of An Actual Emergency...

Good thing we aren't experiencing an actual emergency here on Capitol Hill today. We are experiencing:

No Sprint cell-to-cell service.

Spotty internet connections.

Red Line Metro shutdowns.

Ambulances stranded in traffic.

1.5 million people on the mall and a waaay bigger crowd along the inaugural parade route.

The best thing happening at the Capitol: Holy Joe Lieberman is getting booed. Big time. And Big Time Dick Cheney looks like hammered shit. On toast. Looks like he's had a stroke. That lame "he strained his back moving boxes" story is laughable. The last two things Cheney picked up were A.) a highball glass; and B.) a shotgun.

Wait. I lie. The funniest thing is George H.W. Bush walking like Danny DeVito in that Batman movie where he played the Penguin. No explanation yet as to why.

Waddle, waddle, H.W.!

They're introducing W. and Dick. Gotta go.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- and and


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