Today's Sermon

For all who worship St. Mattress on Sunday mornings...

Try singing Amazing Grace
to the tune of Gilligan's Island. 

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.

'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me,
His Word my hope secures;
He will my Shield and Portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, Who called me here below,
Shall be forever mine.

When we've been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we'd first begun.  LINK

In case you were wondering...

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a fateful trip
That started from this tropic port,
Aboard this tiny Ship.

The mate was a mighty sailin' man,
The Skipper brave and sure,
Five passengers set sail that day
For a three hour tour.
A three hour tour. [ sound of thunder: crack! ]

The weather started getting rough,
The tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew,
The Minnow would be lost.
The Minnow would be lost.

The ship's aground on the shore of this
Uncharted desert isle
With Gilligan, the Skipper too,
The Millionaire and his wife,
A movie star, ( and the rest ) the Professor and Mary Ann,
( All ) Here on Gilligan's Isle!

So this is the tale of our castways,
They're here for a long, long time
They'll have to make the best of things,
It's an uphill climb.

The first mate and ( his ) the Skipper too,
Will do their very best,
To make the others comfortable,
In their tropic island nest.

No phone(s)! No light(s)! No motor car(s)!
Not a single luxury,
Like Robinson C-ru-soe, it's primitive as can be.
So join us here each week my friends,
You're sure to get a smile,
From ( For ) seven stranded castways,
Here on "Gilligan's Isle." LINK

Try not to snicker the next time
you have to sit through a funeral!