This Week's Backside Of The Bell Curve Award

Vice pResident Dick Cheney

Pleased to meet you.
Won't you guess my name?

March 4, 2001

George W. ToughOnTerrier-ists said: “We help fulfill that promise not by lecturing the world, but by leading it. Precisely because America is powerful, we must be sensitive about expressing our power and influence. Our goal is to patiently build the momentum of freedom, not create resentment for America itself. We pursue our goals, we will listen to others. We want strong friends to join us, not weak neighbors to dominate. In all our dealings with other nations, we will display the modesty of true confidence and strength.” [Bush Remarks at USS Reagan Ceremony, 3/4/01]

August 5, 2004

Senator John Kerry said: “The first part focuses on security. I will fight this war on terror with the lessons I learned in war. I defended this country as a young man, and I will defend it as president of the United States. I believe I can fight a more effective, more thoughtful, more strategic, more proactive, more sensitive war on terror that reaches out to other nations and brings them to our side and lives up to American values in history. I lay out a strategy to strengthen our military, to build and lead strong alliances and reform our intelligence system. I set out a path to win the peace in Iraq and to get the terrorists wherever they may be before they get us.” [Kerry, 8/5/04]

August 6, 2004

George W. ToughOn Terrier-ists said: “Now, in terms of the balance between running down intelligence and bringing people to justice obviously is -- we need to be very sensitive on that.” [Bush Delivers Remarks at the Unity, Journalists of Color Conference, 8/6/04]

Of course, Dick Cheney said yesterday: "America has been in too many wars for any of our wishes, but not a one of them was won by being sensitive,’ Cheney said in remarks prepared for delivery Thursday.” [AP, 8/12/04]

Dick's audience of pre-approved, loyalty oath- signing sheeple got a kick out of Cheney's Kerry-bashing, and they laughed appropriately on cue. A creepy little Old Man Potter smile then crept across Cheney's not quite human lips...

Too bad Dick didn't spend his 5 Military Deferment Days studying America's successful, sensitive wartime alliances! He could have started with a little episode called WWII and worked backward.