Today's Lesson: How To CrashThe World EconomyIn 48 Hours

And, while you're at it, insult Jews, Hispanics, and Black people.


Did I just hear something?

It sounded like...

Surely it wasn't what I think I heard!

*** On with the blog! ***

George W.'s been a busy boy this week!

March 11, 2005 | Last Updated 7:53 p.m. (EST)

President Discusses Strengthening Social Security in Louisiana

President Bush on Friday said, "All ideas should be on the table to make this system permanently solved -- not a 35-year fix or a 75-year fix. ... So I'm not interested in band-aids, 75-year fixes. I want there to be a permanent solution to Social Security."

OK. Anyone else wincing at that permanent solution quip?

Yikes!

But Wait! There's More!

MS. COMER: Thank you, Mr. President.

THE PRESIDENT: Good to see you.

MS. COMER: Thank you. Good to see you.

THE PRESIDENT: Now, they tell me -- you're not -- you didn't sneak across the border, did you?

Ouch!

President Participates in Social Security Conversation in Tennessee

President Bush on Friday said, "I want to start by saying to the seniors here in Tennessee and folks listening on your television set that for you -- for those of you receiving a check today, and for those of you, like me, near retirement, nothing is going to change for you. You will get your check."

And Lo, George W. doth reveal his true calling unto the hand-picked registered Republican gathering...

Harry Summer. Harry, thanks for coming.

MR. SUMMER: Thank you, Mr. President.

THE PRESIDENT: I understand you were a professor at one time.

MR. SUMMER: Yes, sir, I was a professor of marketing for 35 years at the University of Memphis. (Applause.)

THE PRESIDENT: Oh, fantastic. Well, you're watching me market. That's what I'm doing right now. (Laughter.)

At least George W. understands his real job description.

Damn! There's that sound again!

Did you hear it?

It's like Godzilla on an Italian tile floor.

You didn't hear it?

Oh, well...

President Participates in Social Security Conversation in Alabama

President Bush on Thursday said, "...This is a generational issue, it truly is. The system worked for the grandparents. The question is, will we be able to get something in place, modernize the system -- not tear it apart, not destroy it -- modernize it, reform it so it works for the grandkids."

And then there was this little (laughter) exchange, wherein George W. tells the entire planet that The USA is a really bad investment.(applause.)

THE PRESIDENT: Let me ask you something about the Thrift Savings Plan. This is a Thrift Savings Plan that has a mix of stocks and bonds?

MS. WEBSTER: Yes, sir.

THE PRESIDENT: Now, how hard was that to learn how to do that?

MS. WEBSTER: And I chose the safe plan, government bonds. (Laughter.)

THE PRESIDENT: That's all right. Well, not so safe, unless we fix the deficit. But other than that -- (laughter). We're fixing the deficit. (Applause.)

Hold it there, George W.!

Safe government bonds.

George W. says, "That's all right."

Then he realizes that he shouldn't have said that.

"Well, not so safe," says George W. ..

Because he knows that calling attention to safe government bonds will encourage people to invest wisely, thereby negating his rationale for investing Social Security funds in Wall Street picks.

So George W. says the deficit is a problem.

Then he says we're fixing the deficit.

Show me the proof, George W.!

President Discusses Strengthening Social Security in Kentucky

President Bush on Thursday said, "I want to thank you for giving us a chance to come here to the great city of Louisville, Kentucky. ... I want to thank you for your recognition that you can help affect public policy through your voice. I want to thank our panelists for agreeing to sit up here and share their thoughts and talk about Social Security."

And then George W. proceeds to insult Black people, veiling his remarks by citing the ever elusive they.

I was being somewhat facetious on the lottery -- but really not. There's a proper risk reward, a portfolio that will allow you as a younger worker to pick a mix of stocks and bonds. Oh, I know they say certain people aren't capable of investing, you know, the investor class. It kind of sounds like to me, you know, a certain race of people living in a certain area. LINK

Let's recap:

In less than 48 hours, George W. has managed to insult Jews, Mexicans, and Blacks-- as well as scare the shit out of every foreign investor in the US economy.

At least he's failed miserably in his quest to con folks out of their Guaranteed Social Security Safety Net!

Shhhhhhh!

What was that sound?

You had to hear that!

CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMP!

Why, I do believe that was the sound of Karen Hughes' 13 Quad D's making a beeline for the phone.

Yep. Your scrivener predicts the return of Lizard Lady...