Sunday, September 11, 2005

Today's Sermon:
The Woo-Woo Credo

Woo-woos stink up internet chat rooms and blogs like over-ripe Stilton and/or rightwing TV pundits...

A scant few of the woo-woo rules (there are 41 in all):

Never look for the simplest, most obvious cause of something. Refrain from mentioning Occam's Razor (it's your nemesis).

Don't accept mainstream science unless it's something you've believed in for years (like gravity).

Try to answer as few direct questions as possible. Always obfuscate and try to sound learned.

Use "what if" scenarios to change the subject whenever possible. If you linger on one topic too long you may be asked to provide annoying things like "proof." Don't let that happen! Consult a creationist if you need practice with subject-changing.

If you're cornered and asked for proof of something, always tell the person that they "can't disprove" your claims. Many of them will just walk away shaking their heads, which of course means they agree with you. A side-to-side head shake could be the same as a vertical nod. Anything is possible, after all.

When all else fails, start asking hypothetical questions that have nothing to do with the actual debate. If your opponent chooses to ignore your pointless questions and remains on topic, repeat your meaningless question(s) over and over. This will make any Believers in the audience think that your opponent is evading the issue.

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go forth and read Logical Fallacies and the Art Of Debate.

And know thine enemy!

I mean it, damn it!

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