All The President's Birthday Cakes

George W. Bush will turn 60 tomorrow, but he's the decider, remember? This year, the decider decided to celebrate his birthday on Independence Day... two days early. Sort of like The Queen's Birthday, only creepier.

And there were cakes.

This one must be too darned hard for the (cough) leader of the free world (cough) to handle...



This one... Well, I just don't know what to make of it. Look carefully...


OK, I see the White House (probably white chocolate), but what are those 2001: A Space Odyssey spiky things shooting out of the top? If that's the number 60, it's not exactly an attractive font, is it?

And why is the flag backwards? All together now: "Desecration!"

And who approved those lopsided chocolate layers? Surely not Thaddeus Dubois! I don't believe it!

Whew! Dubois left the White House before this debacle. In fact, there's been a "Get the hell out of Dodge" exodus by most of Laura Bush's staff lately, and Dubois is just the tip of the spun sugar iceberg.

So who baked and decorated that embarrassing cake?

And what's up with that white chocolate bulldog? Is the Eli-In-Chief still pretending he earned that undergrad degree? Yale should recall George W.'s diploma for many reasons, the latest being that tucked-in Hawaiian shirt (see photo above) that looks like a giant blood clot.

And how about those creepy flowers & candles? They look positively funereal.

Professional pastry chefs everywhere are weeping, Mr. President. Of course, you'd be just as impressed by a cake mix and canned frosting.


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.