Sunday, February 17, 2008

Today's Sermon: Are You Lookin' Good For Jesus?

If not, you'd better start with these products...

Description, Lookin' Good For Jesus Bubble Bath: Follow in his footsteps. Take the plunge with a soak in everlasting Citrus and Juniper suds that make you feel like you're walking on water. 12 oz. / 355 ml. ($11.95)

Description, Lookin' Good For Jesus Lip Balm: Returns lips to near virgin quality. Virtuous vanilla flavor protects and preserves. SPF 18. .15 oz. / 4.2 g. ($5.95)

Description, Lookin' Good For Jesus Fix It Kit: Redeems you in his eyes and takes the edge off sinning. Contains mirrored Jesus statuette, vanilla nectar lip balm, Easter-Lily hand & body cream (with sparkle!) and a folding mirror compact. ($19.95)

If you need these products, you'd better hurry!

The Catholics in Singapore (yes, Virginia, there are Catholics in Singapore) have protested the sale of these and other Lookin' Good For Jesus products at three retail stores.

Of course, it would be rude to protest The Catholic Company's sale of...

Savor the Richness Olive Oil Bottle and Bowls

This stylish ceramic olive oil bottle is approximately 8" tall and comes complete with a pouring spout and two coordinating bowls. It is the perfect addition to any dinner party! ($19.95)


Bless this Cup Java Mug with Creme Brulee Coffee

Bless this cup of coffee, send me on my way ... Awaken my heart to the wonders of today! This is the day that the Lord has made. --Psalm 118:24. Start your day with a little cup of joy. Large 16-oz. ceramic mug, with crème brulee coffee. Made of microwave/dishwasher safe ceramic. Gift boxed. ($12.00)

...because that would be rude, wouldn't it?

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and ponder the silliness of protesting lip balms and and not protesting coffee mugs. Neither one will get you into heaven.

Think about it.

I mean it, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- and and


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