Wanted For Questioning By The Patriot Act Police...

THIS GUY??????????



I'm serious.

You can't make this stuff up!

Evidently, they're looking for this:

Homeland Security Identifies New Terrorist Red Flag: Wristwatches

MSNBC | January 4 2005

FLASHBACK: Almanac use could be clue to terror intent, FBI warns

An advisory issued Monday by the Department of Homeland Security and the FBI urges the Transportation Security Administration to have airport screeners keep an eye out for wristwatches containing cigarette lighters or altimeters.

The notice says “recent intelligence suggests al-Qaida has expressed interest in obtaining wristwatches with a hidden butane-lighter function and Casio watches with an altimeter function. Casio watches have been extensively used by al-Qaida and associated organizations as timers for improvised explosive devices. The Casio brand is likely chosen due to its worldwide availability and inexpensive price.”

The advisory notes that there is no specific information indicating any terrorist plans to use the devices, but it urges screeners to watch for them.

There is currently no law against carrying an altimeter or a lighter onto an airplane. The items cannot be confiscated, but one official said Monday that if the watches are spotted, screeners likely would engage in further checking of the passenger.

A check of the Internet revealed different styles of the watches, which sell through different online stores and auction sites for anywhere from $3 to $10. Pressing a button on the side of the watch produces a flame from a small hole on the watch face at the 12 o'clock position. LINK

Once upon a time...

Guidelines for Handling Suspect Mail
(October 23, 2001)

* Use common sense when checking and opening mail or packages.
* Check unopened envelopes for foreign bodies or powder.
* Use a letter opener rather than your hands to open letters.
* Open letters and packages with minimum movement to avoid spilling any contents.
* Wash your hands with soap and water after opening mail.

What should I look for?

While the likelihood of receiving a package or letter containing suspicious substances is remote, it is important to be aware of characteristics that are common to suspicious packages/letters:

* Mailed from a foreign country
* Excessive postage
* Misspelled words
* Addressed to title only
* Wrong title with name
* Rigid or bulky
* Badly typed or hand written

* Restrictive markings (i.e., personal, confidential)
* No return address
* Strange odor
* Lopsided/protruding item
* Stains on wrapping

Use these sample questions to try and identify/verify the suspect letter/package:

* Are you familiar with the name and address of the sender?
* Are you expecting correspondence from the sender? If so, what is the nature of the correspondence?
* If correspondence is expected, what would be the contents of the item and its approximate size?
* If the sender is unknown, are you expecting any other business correspondence from the city, state or country of origin of the suspect item?
* Are you aware of any friends, relatives, service personnel, or business acquaintances currently on vacation or on business trips in the area of origin?
* Have you purchased or ordered any merchandise, information, gifts, books, photographs, magazines, or paintings from any business concern whose parent organization might be located in the city, state, or country of origin?

If the suspect item has overseas markings (e.g., stamps, postmark, address)

* Have you recently purchased in the United States or elsewhere a wrist watch, camera, sporting firearm, automobile, radio, jewelry, or other personal item that may have originally been manufactured in any foreign country and for which a warranty, registration, or guarantee card was mailed?
* Have you returned for repair, reconditioning, adjustment, or replacement any items, such as a camera, wrist watch, sporting firearm, or radio which was manufactured in a foreign country and which may have been reshipped so the required work could be performed?
* Can you think of any reason why you would be receiving mail from an overseas area?
* Have you recently joined or contributed to any charitable, civil, religious, or international organization that might originate correspondence from the city, state, or country of address of the item?

If this process indicates the mail is no longer suspicious, it SHOULD NOT BE SUBMITTED FOR LAB TESTING. It may be opened or discarded.

The warning even came with a US Government Approved graphic:




Watches that "may have been manufactured in a foreign country?"

When was the last time you bought a watch manufactured in the USA?

My theory...

Every time BushCo needs a new media diversion, we can expect one of the items listed in the above warning to be the subject of a Homeland Security Alert!

Heavy sigh.