Thursday, February 03, 2005

SOTU Voce: Say little.
Ruin the country.

Shut up, poor people!
Owe your soul to the company store, fools!
Tough titty, girly women and gays!
Up yours, Democrats!

In case you couldn't stomach George W.'s State Of The Union speech...

Here's the translation:

Tonight, with a healthy, growing economy, with more Americans going back to work, with our Nation an active force for good in the world - the state of our union is confident and strong

Translation: The economy sucks because my advisors are Nazis, we're still in negative job growth because of my first term in office, we've bombed the shit out of the Sandpeople (and we'll never defeat them unless you lest me nuke 'em!) - the state of our union is humiliating.

Now, as we see a little gray in the mirror - or a lot of gray - and we watch our children moving into adulthood, we ask the question: What will be the state of their union?

Translation: Pay no attention to what we've done (and plan to do) to YOU!

America’s prosperity requires restraining the spending appetite of the federal government.

Translation: Never mind that my minions and I are the ones who bankrupted your beloved country to begin with!

So next week I will send you a budget that holds the growth of discretionary spending below inflation, makes tax relief permanent, and stays on track to cut the deficit in half by 2009.

Translation: I'm gutting all social/ arts/ other liberal girly woman programs, I'm guaranteeing my rich cronies permanent profits, and I'll be gone in January, 2009... so don't blame me for anything.

The principle here is clear: a taxpayer dollar must be spent wisely, or not at all.

Pardon me while I...


Budget Busting BushCo warning us to spend wisely?

Under the No Child Left Behind Act, standards are higher, test scores are on the rise, and we are closing the achievement gap for minority students. Now we must demand better results from our high schools, so every high school diploma is a ticket to success.

Translation: My brother hasn't made enough money selling testing materials to your local public school district yet!

Besides, spending too much time on curriculum causes people to think critically, and we can't have that, now can we?

And we will make it easier for Americans to afford a college education, by increasing the size of Pell Grants.

Translation: Never mind that we're funding Pell Grants at a much lower rate than I promised you we would.

America must reward, not punish, the efforts and dreams of entrepreneurs. Small business is the path of advancement, especially for women and minorities, so we must free small businesses from needless regulation and protect honest job-creators from junk lawsuits.

Needless regulation??????

Junk Lawsuits????????????

Translation: Screw you, Mr. & Mrs. American Consumer!

When that $9.95 Wal-Mart 4 slice toaster fries your mother like extra crispy KFC, don't even think of suing! Be Pollyanna Glad that Wal-Mart hired a person at minimum wage to sell it to your mother!

Justice is distorted, and our economy is held back, by irresponsible class actions and frivolous asbestos claims - and I urge Congress to pass legal reforms this year.

Frivolous asbestos claims??????


Mesothelioma cancer affects the mesothelium, a membrane that covers and protects most of the internal organs of the body. Because mesothelioma can take a long time to detect, from 10 to 50 years (or even more), diagnosing mesothelioma is often difficult. The majority of mesothelioma diagnosis occurs after the cancer is already in its advance stages. Consequently, most people diagnosed with mesothelioma usually pass away within two to four years. >LINK

Translation: We can't call it The SAVE CHENEY'S WALLET Initiative.

I ask Congress to move forward on a comprehensive health care agenda - with tax credits to help low-income workers buy insurance, a community health center in every poor county, improved information technology to prevent medical errors and needless costs, association health plans for small businesses and their employees, expanded health savings accounts, and medical liability reform that will reduce health care costs, and make sure patients have the doctors and care they need.

Here we go, Boys & Girls...

Translation: Tax credits for the poor (who don't pay much or any at all in taxes-- BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO POOR!) Fat lot of good a tax credit does for POOR PEOPLE who don't make enough to pay taxes, George W.!

A community health center in every county (run by our Fascist Fundie Baby Sellers, who will preach the dangers of a non Ward & June Cleaver lifestyle), browbeat pregnant women into becoming walking incubators, dispense Viagra like Halloween candy, deny those who can't afford their illnesses ...

Wait! We've already got those, George W.!

We call them Doc-In-The-Boxes, and they cost a flippin' fortune!

Technology to prevent medical errors and needless costs (actually means we can instantly ID your credit rating and deny medical care, as well as judge your medical needs on our own beliefs.

And my budget provides strong funding for leading-edge technology - from hydrogen-fueled cars, to clean coal, to renewable sources such as ethanol.

Translation: Hydrogen-fueled cars (maybe in 20 years and at twice the cost of a Japanese compact)!

Did you hear that, Michigan? Vote RED or die next time!

Clean Coal is a Republican-invented spin term for Black Lung Power!



A new report by the U.S. General Accounting Office finds that billions of dollars in subsidies and tax exemptions for alcohol fuels have failed either to reduce U.S. reliance on foreign sources of oil or to benefit the environment. The report, titled "Tax Policy: Effects of the Alcohol Fuels Tax Incentives," was released in March. LINK

Year after year, Americans are burdened by an archaic, incoherent federal tax code.

Translation: Under the BushCo plan, you pay 10% tax on $20,000, and George W. pays 10% tax on $15,000,000.

Who ends up with more buying power?

Hint: not the $20K guy!

Which means that you're screwed more ways than Sunday. Who'll pay for roads, schools, hospitals, law enforcement, etc.?

Not George W. and not his rich friends (AKA his base)!

He's told you repeatedly that rich people always find ways to get out of paying taxes, anyway.

Guess you're stuck with the bill, Suckers!

America’s immigration system is also outdated - unsuited to the needs of our economy and to the values of our country. We should not be content with laws that punish hardworking people who want only to provide for their families, and deny businesses willing workers, and invite chaos at our border.

Translation: George W. has figured out that A Day Without A Mexican means his friends would have to pay minimum wage for yard care and maid service.

And we just can't have that happening, can we?

As we fix Social Security, we also have the responsibility to make the system a better deal for younger workers. And the best way to reach that goal is through voluntary personal retirement accounts.

Voluntary Personal Retirement Accounts? Is that the final draft working title?

Translation: You pay 6.2% into SS today.

Your taxes will pay the broker who will "invest" up to 4% of that 6.2%.

If you're lucky enough to profit by more than 3%, BushCo WILL KEEP THE PROFIT.

There's a reason that casinos do so well: fools & their $ are soon parted!

Under the White House Social Security plan, workers who opt to divert some of their payroll taxes into individual accounts would ultimately get to keep only the investment returns that exceed the rate of return that the money would have accrued in the traditional system. LINK

Our second great responsibility to our children and grandchildren is to honor and to pass along the values that sustain a free society.

Whose values?

Translation: Jerry Fallwell's, that's whose!

Under the BushCo plan, only couples with one penis and one vagina can marry and divorce as many times as they so desire.

"Human embryos are not created for experimentation or grown for body parts" is supposed to make you think FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER IS COMING!

"Human life is never bought and sold as a commodity" doesn't include private (Sorry! Personal) adoption agencies and Baby Broker Lawyers, who profit nicely off cute little bundles of human commodities generated when you turn women into walking incubators.

Every judicial nominee deserves an up-or-down vote.

Notice that "judicial nominee" is lumped in with "values?"

Translation: Ignore the fact that 3 times as many "Values Judges" have been confirmed during the reign of George W. than during all 8 years of the Clinton presidency and that Republicans refused "up or down" votes!

What a crock!

Taking on gang life will be one part of a broader outreach to at-risk youth, which involves parents and pastors, coaches and community leaders, in programs ranging from literacy to sports. And I am proud that the leader of this nationwide effort will be our First Lady, Laura Bush.


I'm sure this will be Laura's JUST SAY NO TO GANGS total waste of time & money.

Because HIV/AIDS brings suffering and fear into so many lives, I ask you to reauthorize the Ryan White Act to encourage prevention, and provide care and treatment to the victims of that disease.


Ryan White (1971-1990) contracted AIDS through a blood transfusion when he was 13 and worked to educate people about the disease until his death at age 18. As a result of his efforts, and those of his mother Jeanne, Congress passed the Ryan White Comprehensive AIDS Resources Emergency Care (CARE) Act, which provides health care resources to Americans with HIV/AIDS who have no insurance or not enough insurance to get proper care. LINK

Congress was controlled by DEMOCRATS when this act was passed, thank you very much!

Because marriage is a sacred institution and the foundation of society, it should not be re-defined by activist judges.

Translation: Holy Matrimony (and its associated tax, property rights, and social acceptance) can only be for couples consisting of one penis and one vagina.

Pay no attention to that part of the Bible where God says you have to stone to death any man or woman who doesn't uphold the marriage vow.

Newt & Rush should be afforded the right to divorce and remarry as many times as they want to, damn it!

I will work with Congress to ensure that human embryos are not created for experimentation or grown for body parts, and that human life is never bought and sold as a commodity.

Translation: Sperm is sacred. Women are incubators. Gays are girly like women; therefore, we can't let them have adopt the embryos resulting for the sacred sperm because they'll just muck it up, being like women and all.

Oh, by the way, private (I mean personal) adoption centers and their lawyers are exempt from the "bought & sold as a commodity" part!

There are still governments that sponsor and harbor terrorists - but their number has declined.

Not gonna name one, are you George W.?

Come on! I dare you!

I thank the Congress for providing our servicemen and women with the resources they have needed.

Translation: Because the Pentagon considers them IED Fodder, and Congress had to force me to do something about those shoddy Hummers because we dropped the ball on securing those ammo storage places when we invaded.

My Administration will continue to build the coalitions that will defeat the dangers of our time.

How's that workin' so far, George W.?

As well as the last coalition you put together?

The United States has no right, no desire, and no intention to impose our form of government on anyone else.


What happened to "Freedom is on the march," "Let freedom reign," and " Helping construct a stable democracy" in Iraq?

I will ask Congress for 350 million dollars to support Palestinian political, economic, and security reforms.

Translation: I hope I can bribe the PLO to stop blowing up Jewish kids in pizza parlors until I'm outta here!

Iran, Syria... We've got you in our sights, too!

Some of our servicemen and women have survived terrible injuries, and this grateful country will do everything we can to help them recover.

Translation: This sounds really good. I hope folks ignore the fact that hospitals are charging maimed soldiers for meals.


The Big Finish!

Where George W. details why Republicans have the best plans for our country's future...

As Franklin Roosevelt once reminded Americans, “each age is a dream that is dying, or one that is coming to birth.”

Excuse Me?

Franklin Roosevelt?

As in FDR?

FDR, who causes Republicans to spit every time they see those 3 letters in that particular sequence?

Our generation has dreams of its own, and we also go forward with confidence. The road of Providence is uneven and unpredictable - yet we know where it leads: It leads to freedom.

Translation: BushCo has more pillaging to do, and woe to the fool who tries to stop us!

The road of Providence leads to freedom?

What kind of empty rhetoric way to end a SOTU is that?


Another George W. SOTU...

Another steaming pile of freak monkey crap!

And don't forget that every single syllable of this SOTU speech was vetted by State, Defense, Energy, Agriculture, and every other BushCo agency!

They're all in this together!

And I'm still waiting for that list of 150 programs George W. plans to ax.

Heavy, heavy sigh!


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