Sunday, February 20, 2005

Today's Sermon: Biblical Marriage

Today's Sermon magically appeared in my inbox, presumably sent through cyberspace according to the laws of man-made technology (although I can't prove one way or another if the god of Abraham was involved in any way)...


The Presidential Prayer Team is currently urging us to "Pray for the President as he seeks wisdom on how to legally codify the definition of marriage. Pray that it will be according to Biblical principles. With many forces insisting on variant definitions of marriage, pray that God's Word and His standards will be honored by our government."

So here -- in support of the Prayer Team's admirable goals -- is a proposed Constitutional Amendment codifying marriage ENTIRELY ON BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES:

A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women.
(Gen 29:17-28 and II Sam 3:2-5)

B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives.
(I Sam 5:13 and I Kings 11:3 and II Chron 11:21)
C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed.
(Deut 22: 13-21)

D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden.
(Gen. 24:3 and Num 25:1-9 and Ezra 9:12 and Neh 10:30)

E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State shall be construed to permit divorce.
(Deut 22:19 and Mark 10 )

F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his sister-in-law, or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen 38:6-10 and Deut 25:5-10)

I've long envied the marriage laws of most European countries.

Sure, you can marry in a church, synagogue, mosque, or other sacred space...

But your marriage is not considered legal (with rights and such) until you appear before a secular court judge and seal the deal.

That way, the church and the state are truly separate.

One marriage covenant renders unto your god of choice.

The other renders unto Caesar.

As Jesus of Nazareth said it should be.

So there!


Go forth and marry anyone anywhere!

I mean it, damn it!


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