Today's Sermon: Holy Toledo!

What's Jesus doing inside this woman's womb?

Doesn't He have anything better to do?

Guess not.




From WTVG-ABC TOLEDO, OHIO...

Jesus Spotted in Ultrasound

She gave birth to her first child Friday, but this story begins with an ultrasound with a heavenly twist.

At 5lbs. 1oz., 3-day-old Aaliyah is a big blessing to her mom and dad. The proud parents say they received a sign she is special in an ultrasound photo taken about a month ago. After taking a closer look at the ultrasound they say there's an image of Jesus Christ in it. It's an image mom and dad say they can see in two of the ultrasound images taken that day.

Oh, right. Sure.

Christian deities must be incredibly bored.

Why else would they show up on tacos, underpasses, and inside the wombs of random pregnant women?

Hm.

Hey, Deities!

How about a little "loaves & Fishes" action, catastrophic weather control, or even a little star-in-the-night spotlight on your corrupt Ohio Republicans?

Oh, yeah. I forgot.

That "mysterious ways" clause in your contract sure does come in handy, doesn't it?

"Taunting the faithful" must be your favorite pastime.

Frankly, I'd like to see your Ohio governor's arm rammed down the Mouth Of Truth...




Oh, well.

I guess your followers are satisfied by polariods, oils stains, and Masa Harina burn spots.

THUS ENDETH TODAY'S SERMON.

Go forth and feed the poor in the name of your chosen unavailable deity. And stop studying tacos and other crap for signs that your gods are real. If you need signs, you obviously have serious doubts.


I mean it, damn it!