Sunday, January 13, 2008

Today's Sermon: "Mark Of The Beast" Removal Options

What would you do if you recognized "the mark of the beast" on your hand?

Really. What would you do?

Would you...

1. Consult a Biblical scholar?

2. Locate your nearest plastic surgeon?

3. Chop off your hand and microwave it?

4. Seek psychological counseling?

If you guessed #3, read on...

Man sees 'mark,' cuts off hand

HAYDEN, Idaho (AP) -- A man who believed he bore the biblical "mark of the beast" used a circular saw to cut off one hand, then he cooked it in the microwave and called 911, authorities said.

The man, in his mid-20s, was calm when Kootenai County sheriff's deputies arrived Saturday. He was in protective custody in the mental health unit of Kootenai Medical Center.

"It had been somewhat cooked by the time the deputy arrived," sheriff's Capt. Ben Wolfinger said. "He put a tourniquet on his arm before, so he didn't bleed to death. That kind of mental illness is just sad."

It was not immediately clear whether the man has a history of mental illness. Hospital spokeswoman Lisa Johnson would not say whether an attempt was made to reattach the hand, citing patient confidentiality.

The Book of Revelation in the New Testament contains a passage in which an angel is quoted as saying: "If anyone worships the beast and his image and receives his mark on the forehead or on the hand, he, too, will drink the wine of God's fury."

The book of Matthew also contains the passage: "And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for you whole body to go into hell."

Wolfinger said he didn't know which hand was amputated.

And people think this guy is crazy?

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and consider this:

Chances are that the people interviewed for this story probably consider themselves devout Christians. (Hey, we are talking Idaho, after all.)

What kind of Christian thinks believing in the Bible is crazy?

Probably the same ones familiar with laser tattoo removal.

Think about it.

I mean it, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- and and


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