Sunday, January 09, 2005

Today's Sermon: Christian Hell

Today's Guest Minister...

Dante Alighieri

Through me the way into the suffering city,

Through me the way to the eternal pain,

Through me the way that runs among the lost.

Justice urged on my high artificer;

My maker was divine authority,

The highest wisdom, and the primal love.

Before me nothing but eternal things were made,

And I endure eternally.

Abandon every hope, ye who enter here.

If you believe in a Christian Hell, where sinners are consigned eternally to the flames of woe, you're gonna love Today's Guest Minister, who defined Christian Hell as we know it today, in his fictional work, Divina Commedia.

Yep. Fiction. With pinches of Aristotle, Virgil, and Cicero added for good measure.

But how's a Christian to predict the level of eternal suffering awaiting him/her upon giving up the ghost?

Easy as a mouse click, dear readers!

Click Here To Take

Well, how'd you fare?

My favorite question: Do you repent for your sins?

Since most Christians believe that "I'm sorry, God." meets the definition of repenting, I have to chuckle at their pig ignorance.

Merely saying you're sorry doesn't cut it with the God of Abraham, folks!


To repent- To feel such regret for past conduct as to change one's mind regarding it: repented of intemperate behavior.

You have to be so sorry that committing the sin in question would never ever again enter your mind...

For example, most adults (the caring kind) would never entertain the childish idea that burning bugs with a magnifying glass is a good thing. In fact, such an idea would repulse the penitent.

The same goes for all sins, including the ones most Christians rationalize today as acceptable behavior if they just say they're sorry in their silent prayers.

Almost makes me wish Dante's definition of Hell wasn't just a clever work of fiction.


I can't imagine anything more entertaining than watching pig ignorant Pseudo-Christians get a well-deserved dose of come uppance.

Of course, I'd be hanging out in Limbo, which means that I'd miss the really good suffering going on in the other levels of Dante's Inferno.

Where will you be?

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go forth and research that which you choose to believe in before it bites you in the ass.

And read Divina Commedia if you haven't.

And read it again, even if you have...

I mean it, damn it!


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