Sunday, February 27, 2005

Today's Sermon:
The Gospel Of Google

Note: I could have edited this entry after I figured out what the fascist fundies had done, but I think you'll have more fun following the process of my enlightenment.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Hee! Hee! Hee!

Ho! Ho! Ho!


Oh, why do Fascist Fundies try to use Latin phrases when designing their gravitas-seeking logos and emblems?

Of course, the site content is decidedly whacked: George W. isn't fundie enough for these folks; ergo, they're forming a new political party... to the right of Attila The Hun.

See for yourself.

Abortion is evil.

Only true Christians know how everyone else on earth is supposed to live.

Send money so we can continue our fight against the GAWD-less.

Et cetera.

Et cetera.

Several ways to send money!

Et cetera.

But the Latin phrases are the funniest part!

Vive Vale


I always thought that meant Hale and Farewell!

It's obvious that these fundies must be trying to say something about LIFE and VALUE.

Hell's Bells, they probably think they've written VALUE LIFE!

Unlike these Fascist Fundies, I actually studied Latin. Of course, it was a million years ago...

So bear with me.

Vive Vale

This is a strange construction. Both verbs are in the imperative singular, which is used for conveying commands. For example, Vive! would be translated as "(You must) live!"

"Vive" is fine. It does, in fact, mean "(you) live!" as a command.

"Vale," however, really wouldn't convey the sense of "be valuable" to the listener. It was used primarily in the sense of "be well!" or "be strong!" as is the case of farewells in many languages, such as "fare thee well!" and "Wassail" or "Waes thu hael" (be thou well).

The only way I'd tend to translate the phrase above would be "Live, Be Well" -- similar to the (in)famous "Live long and prosper." It's not a bad phrase, and it has symmetry going for it.

Still, it doesn't seem to convey what you ask it to. If you want to indicate that all life is valuable, you wouldn't command someone to be well.

I'm sure that the fascist fundies had no intention of saying that making oneself valuable is a good thing in life. Had they, I could have suggested using:

Vive Aestimare.

aestimo, aestimare (1st conjugation verb) "to value, to rate, to esteem, to judge" -- aestimare (passive imperative) "(you) be valuable!"

valeo, valere, valui (2nd conjugation verb) "to be strong, vigorous, powerful, to be influential, to be adequate, to be of value, to be of worth -- vale! (imperative singular, usually used as a farewell) "goodbye."

vivo, vivere, vixi, victum (3rd conjugation verb) "to to be alive, to live, to survive" -- vive! (imperative singular) "(you) live!"

As for the rest of the inscription...

Luceo Descendens, Aucto Splendore Resurgam

He shines as he sets, but he shall rise again in great splendor.


Is that a Jesus reference?

Not according to the gospel of Google.

There is, however, a rather famous painting called Miscianza, by Frederick James.

The word mischianza, or meschianza, is derived from the conflation of the Italian words mescere (to mix) and mischiare (to mingle). The Mischianza was a medley of events held at Walnut Grove in Philadelphia on May 18, 1778, to celebrate the departure of General William Howe, commander- in-chief of the British army in Philadelphia, for his native England. Howe’s officers each contributed 140 pounds to pay for the affair, which included a procession of decorated boats that advanced up the Delaware River and docked near Green Street Wharf, a jousting tournament on a nearby green, an elaborate banquet, dancing, and a colorful display of fireworks. Each guest received an elaborate invitation featuring the Howe family crest and a sun setting into the sea that was mounted with a streamer bearing the motto Luceo Discendens, Aucto Splendore Resurgam (“He is shining as he sets, but he shall rise again in great splendor”).

Man, am I stupid or what?

I've been trying to make sense of this fascist fundie crest by concentrating on the Latin!

Take another look at the crest with the Latin phrases.

Canons. Swords. A drum. Flags.

"Live and be well" at the top.

Notice the sun setting into the sea?

Now read the blurb under the painting again.

Howe's officers and friends (enemies of America, by the way) were saying goodbye.

Vive Vale... Live and be well. (Hale and Farewell!)

Luceo Descendens, Aucto Splendore Resurgam... He shines as he sets, but he shall rise again in great splendor.

The fascist fundies decided to use the Family motto of General William Howe, the Commander-in-Chief of the British Army during the American freakin' Revolution...

They were talking about Howe, not Jesus! Howe had lost the war, but his officers still respected him (He shines). He shall rise again in great splendor, I believe, was wishful thinking.

So here's what must have happened...

The Creator's Rights Party stole the crest of the enemy, erased the name HOWE, and used Photoshop to plug in their party name in order to appear scholarly.


Just plain pitiful.

They stole the whole thing.

I'll bet they have no idea whatsoever that their crest celebrates the enemy!

What ass wipes!

At least, I figured it out.

They think we belittle them for their beliefs.

Actually, we belittle them for their total disdain of scholarship.

We belittle them for embracing mediocrity.

Most of all, we belittle them for their hypocrisy...

When their self-appointed moral leaders claim that God punishes gays by giving them AIDS, yet deny the hand of GAWD when half of Florida is beset by hurricanes, I heave heavy, heavy sighs.

Vive Vale... Live long and prosper.


They should add this to their crest...

Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit*

Or this...

Me transmitte sursum, Caledoni!**

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go forth and study Latin... and Art!

Otherwise, you'll end up as stupid as the members of The Creator's Rights Party.

Sum serius! Vae!***

* To boldly go where no man has gone before

** Beam me up, Scotty!

*** I'm serious, damn it!


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