Monday, May 19, 2008

Obama Retreats To Iowa To Declare Victory

Get this: Obama plans to declare MISSION ACCOMPLISHED (not counting over 3 million votes cast in FL & MI) tomorrow night... In Iowa.


Why Iowa?

Why not Kentucky?

Obama's not going to win Kentucky tomorrow night.

Why not Oregon, where Obama is supposed to win tomorrow night?

Sorry, Oregon. You're not important enough. You're chock-full-o-farleftie, Birkenstocked latte sippers. And you're just not Rockwellian enough, damn it.

Iowa, however, is Obama's idea of cornpone-fed, downhome rural whitefolk country, where the hicks, Jews, women, and Garlic Noses first anointed Him (no typo)... long before He defended His whacko preacher and threw His "typically white" grandma under the bus.

What better place to declare victory and hope Clinton departs the field?

Obama, who has faced criticism for his perceived weakness among working class white Americans, frequently invokes his success in Iowa as evidence that his message resonates in one of the whitest states in the country.

Although he is expected to win the largely white state of Oregon Tuesday, polling indicates that Obama may lose Kentucky for a lack of support among Caucasians who earn less than $50,000 per year. He may hope that his appearance in Iowa will keep his perceived weakness among such voters out of the news in subsequent days.

Despite his expected loss in Kentucky, the Obama campaign expects to clinch a majority of pledged delegates Tuesday. They will use the event in Iowa to signal a shift in the campaign from the primary to the general election.

Obama must figure that Iowa voters are too damned stupid to figure out how they're being used as a backdrop for a poser.

What remains to be seen: Will Iowa fall for Obama's positively Bush-like "mission accomplished" crap?

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- and and


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