Delilah Boyd

Tuesday, November 05, 2013

Announcing The Shops at WebRing!

Hello,

Hey! Have you heard the news? WebRing has launched a new service called THE SHOPS AT WEBRING!

http://TheShopsAt.WebRing.org

We have finished the beta testing phase and it is now up and running and available to everyone.

Come and SHOP!
Come and SELL!

Definitely come and SEE what it's all about!

Our fees are lower than other sites out there for those who want to sell - which means savings are passed on to those wanting to shop! Everyone benefits from using THE SHOPS AT WEBRING!

Holiday shopping season is here so hurry come see, come shop and come sell!
http://TheShopsAt.WebRing.org

The Shops Team

ps - No fees through the end of 2013, and no insertion fees EVER. You can run auctions, best offer and fixed price sales.

We hope you find this message useful. However, if you no longer wish to receive email from WebRing, http://www.webring.com/cgi-bin/unsubscribe?y=delilahboyd - Unsubscribe.

Friday, August 02, 2013

Introducing WebRing Forums!

Hello,

If you're having trouble viewing this email, please View it here.

The WebRing Team

We hope you find this message useful. However, if you no longer wish to receive email from WebRing, Unsuscribe.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Today's Therapy Session

A tool you can use:

Why didn't I think of this?

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

O'Bama Family Fountain

Yep, it's March 17th again.

This year, the O'Bama family has brought a Chicago tradition to DC:

Cute.

And oh, so trite.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Silly Saturday: Be Careful Out There!

Have A Silly Saturday!

And don't forget to set your clocks forward one hour tonight!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

I Have 1 Word For Jindal Regarding Volcano Monitoring

Bobby Jindal (R- Idiculous) thought he was being Oh, So Clever when he tried to make fun of President O's pledge to spend $140 million on volcano monitoring.

Here's that 1 word, Jindal: Pompeii

And Jindal is supposed to be a Rhodes Scholar?

The people who monitor volcanoes also monitor hurricanes, Bobby. They're called scientists, you asshat.

Volcanoes, of course, aren't the only potential natural disaster that scientists monitor to give people warnings of imminent danger. Hurricanes, tornado-producing storms, earthquakes, tsunamis and flooding events are also watched and forecast.

The idiot from Louisiana strikes again.

Truly heaviest of sighs.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Washington Post Calls Jindal "Downright Strange"

From The WaPo:

Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal didn't stand a chance. The rising Republican star delivered his party's response to President Obama's hour-long address and simply didn't rise to the occasion. Where Obama in tone and message was relentlessly positive, Jindal's relentless utterance of "Americans can do anything" masked a Debbie Downer negativism that permeated his speech. And coming after Obama's boffo performance, Jindal's Don Knotts-like "golly gee willikers" story-telling and cadence was, how does one put this delicately, downright strange.

You know, some people are like slinkies: they're good for nothin'!

But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

Truly heavy sigh.

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Silly Saturday: Obama Sushi, Anyone?

The translation of the text is here.

Have a Silly Saturday!

"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Karma Wears A Pantsuit.

A Message To
Dean & Brazile...

Help Retire Her Debt!

Are you better off today
than you were
7 years ago?
If you aren't,
you have 2 choices:

1. You can vote

~or~
(as Kathy Griffin would say)

2. You can suck it.

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Bucky (Brown Bag Blog) says...

The Koufaxes (or "the Sandies") are like the SAG or Golden Globe awards, while the Webbies are comparable to the Oscars. Getting a Koufax denotes being a class act while getting a Webbie, while certainly an honor, takes a little more politickin' than most of the celler-dwelling idealists who blogviate are up for.
From The Official Koufax Award site...

The Koufax Awards are intended to help forge a sense of community among bloggers and their readership. We hope to make introductions of bloggers to each other and to readers. We also hope to create a sense that we all live in the same virtual neighborhood and that it is a very nice neighborhood indeed.

From The Blog Box:

A Scrivener's Lament is officially your go-to scrivener for the next big electoral college showdown. In this case Scrivener Delilah Boyd is keeping an eye on the Electoral College of Cardinals, who Scriv thinks may at any moment be called upon to fly off to Rome (that's as in fly by airplane; only nuns can fly for real) and pick a new pope. But his Holiness is doing better, you must be thinking. Well, the Scriv ain't so sure and even has actual photographs (you'll have to scroll down a bit) of the Holy Father getting viciously attacked by (assumes Scriv) the Lord's messengers of vengeance - apparently to the delight of little children. Anyhoo, the Lament has been keeping files on top candidates for the next Bishop of Rome so that when the sad day comes, you'll know where to turn for all the horserace action. I mention this only because A Scrivener's Lament has been nominated for a Sandy Award in the Most Humorous Blog category.
At A Scrivener's Lament, Delilah Boyd offers a little sigh over the sudden announcement that the Bushies aren't gonna look for WMDs in Iraq anymore. Then the Scrivener offers a useful list of quotes from the administration hornswaggling the country - oops, I mean being sadly misled by the entire intelligence community - about the possibility of weapons stockpiles in Iraq. Maybe Delilah needs to offer to do some volunteer archiving for large media networks. Apparently NBC, CBS, & ABC's news operations are too cash strapped to afford to hire researchers to dig up obscure, unknown quotes likes these for when the yellowcake hits the fan (or in this case fails to).

Ammunition In Bill O'Reilly's War On Christmas

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5th December
RE: Christmas Party

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...please feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if the Managing Director shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00p.m.. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The Managing Director will make a special announcement at the Party.

Merry Christmas to you and your Family.

Pauline

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6th December
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas. However, from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party.' The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Pauline

FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7th December
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only," you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?

Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believes $10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 8th December
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other, but Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men: each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table, too.

To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing allowed unless the Supreme Court intervenes before the 23rd.

We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food. We suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!

Pauline

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F****** Employees
DATE: 9th December
RE: The ******** Holiday Party

Vegetarian pricks! I've had it with you people!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it; you'll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing the scream right NOW!!

I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drink, drive and die, Jesus-hating Scum!

Pauline (AKA "That Bitch in HR")

FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: 12th December
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and, instead, give everyone the afternoon of December 23rd off with full pay.

Scrivener Humor
A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." So, he goes down into the dark caves... ...underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall, and wailing, "We forgot the "R", we forgot the "R". His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?" With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was celebrate."

Psst! Only first-time visitors are counted, y'all!