Friday, June 30, 2006

This Week's
Backside Of The Bell Curve


The Idiots Who Still Trust
Rightwing Website Spokesmorons

"Go ahead and click on
the "right" websites.
You know you want to.
You must click.
Click. Click.
Click or die.
Those are your only choices."'s internet traffic counter has noted a sigificant change in online click habits during the past three months:

Rush Limbaugh's traffic has declined 18 percent

Fox News, that gold standard of right-wing media, is down 13 percent

Ann Coulter's site down 10%

Bill O'Reilly's down 40% down 24%

The Washington Times web site down 27%

Matt Drudge's site down 21%
I expect to be viciously attacked shortly, don't you?

Pass the popcorn.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

If It's Friday, Bush Must Be A War Criminal

OK, dumb headline. How's This?

George W. Bush Is A War Criminal!

If you're confused about the ramifications of yesterday's Supreme Court ruling, the BBC explains the difference between BushCo's "War Tribunal" BS and Due Process. Also, SCOTUSblog's Marty Lederman has an informative first analysis of the ruling, as well as a follow up.

My weekly column is up, and I'll be back later today with this week's Backside of the Bell Curve winner.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, June 29, 2006

For Bush Lovers Only: The Cliffs Notes Version Of Today's SCOTUS Ruling

You can't do this!

And you can't do this, either!

Stop it!

We said stop it!

And stop acting like you don't understand
how wrong this is!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Freepers Weep Over Scotus' Bush Blow

My favorite comment from this batch of particularly pig ignorant, heartless freepers: "Denny Crane: 'Every one should carry a gun strapped to their waist. We need more - not less guns.'"

Quoting Boston Legal's Denny Crane is like quoting Archie Bunker. If you take either of these fictional TV characters seriously, you're decidedly dumber than dirt.

Remember, readers. These freeper folks are probably your neighbors and co-workers. Watch your back.

Supreme Court Blocks Guantanamo Bay War-Crimes Trials (SCOTUS rules against President)
Fox News & AP ^ | June 29, 2006

Posted on 06/29/2006 7:11:53 AM PDT by pabianice

1). To: pabianice

Bad news. The SCOTUS f****d up, BIG TIME.

6 posted on 06/29/2006 7:13:17 AM PDT by pissant

2). To: pabianice

What an outrage. Big win for democrats.

10 posted on 06/29/2006 7:13:56 AM PDT by Ron in Acreage (VOTE DEMOCRAT--TERRORISTS ARE COUNTING ON IT)

3). To: goodnesswins

Hallelujah!!! Let's chain the moslem bastards together and then push 'em into the ocean!!!

19 posted on 06/29/2006 7:15:49 AM PDT by chadwimc

4). To: pabianice

Take the Gitmo prisoners and move them into the SCOTUS members neighborhood and give them welfare and food stamps too. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

20 posted on 06/29/2006 7:16:04 AM PDT by pissant

5). To: pabianice

Well, Bush has no reason to fear the next "big one"...he's done what he can but every tool to deal with a ruthless enemy is being stripped away.

21 posted on 06/29/2006 7:16:06 AM PDT by zarf (It's not a question.....)

6). To: Constitution Day

From now on we should kill them all where they stand.

29 posted on 06/29/2006 7:16:47 AM PDT by Bikers4Bush (Flood waters rising, heading for more conservative ground. Vote for true conservatives!)

7). To: pabianice

Okay. No more prisoners. Leave them dead on the battlefield.

37 posted on 06/29/2006 7:17:38 AM PDT by atomicpossum (Replies must follow approved guidelines or you will be kill-filed without appeal.)

8). To: pabianice

Oh man this is going to make all the Bush hating leftists and the Bush hating media drool with glee! DAMN!!!

40 posted on 06/29/2006 7:17:51 AM PDT by areafiftyone (Politicans Are Like Diapers - Both Need To Be Changed Often And For the Same Reason!)

9). To: pabianice
The President should shrug it off. As President Lincoln said of Chief Justice Taney's overturning the President's suspension of habeas corpus: "Taney made his decision. Now let him to try to enforce it."

(Denny Crane: "Every one should carry a gun strapped to their waist. We need more - not less guns.")

51 posted on 06/29/2006 7:19:32 AM PDT by goldstategop (In Memory Of A Dearly Beloved Friend Who Lives On In My Heart Forever)
Ahem. Wasn't it President Lincoln who also thought an evening at the theater was a good idea, despite the fact that members of his cabinet declined the invitation to join him?

And I have another question: What battlefield?

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wake Up, Ohio! Bob Ney Lied To Congress

Bob Ney "doesn't recall" meeting with representatives of the Tigua, despite his calendar notation, "Tigua," and this photo...

Lying to congress is a felony, by the way.


The committee has numerous witnesses testifying that Ney sat down with representatives from the Texas Tigua tribe, a de facto Abramoff client, for a lengthy meeting -- an hour and a half to two hours. All of them say that Ney was unctiously enthusiastic about Abramoff ("you're working with the right guy") and that he absolutely was on board to help them get their casino reopened. It sounds like an altogether pathetic display.

But Ney, in a meeting with Senate investigators, claimed not to be familiar with the Tigua. Never heard of them. He couldn't remember meeting with them. Did he meet with Tigua reps for two hours? No, he "wouldn'’t even meet with the President for two hours."” Much More...

If it's Thursday, a Republican must be lying to someone somewhere.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

"Specious Condo" May Explain Why This "Unite" Is Still On The Market

Would anyone even consider this real estate purchase after reading the ad? With thousands of condos in the DC Metro Area to choose from today, the owner of this one might as well hang it up.

$265000 - Specious Condo in Mayflower Square
Reply to:
Date: 2006-06-xx, 1:27PM EDT

STYLISHLY UPDATED!!! Enjoy the morning sun in your very specious gorgeous Condo on the Yard with CUL-DE- SAC. You can move right in ! NEW Paint, NEW WOOD FLOOR throughout whole unite, New Stove,, New Range Hood, All New Doors, New Closet Doors, this will be your favorite. Totally Redone, Extra large Living room with Dinning L and roomy breakfast area and very attractive huge Bedroom with GREAT WALK-IN-CLOSET, Living Area: 726 Sq Ft. . GREAT LOCATION, only minutes I-395, LandMark Mall, Old Town, DC. Access to 95, Pentagon and Metro, Commuters Dream, Lots of public Transportation available. Directions:I-395 S Exit Little River Turnpike (236) Right on Beauregard. Right on Mayflower Square III. Curve around to CUL-DE-SAC Where # 434 is located. Low condo fees, All utilities included, Extra Storage in basement. Community swimming pool and Great community center on property. Affordable and an excellent value for one level living and an easy commute.

434 N.Armistead St. at I-395 and Little River TPK

434 N.Armistead St. at I-395 and Little River TPK google map yahoo map

* this is in or around Alexandria
* yes -- it's ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
726 sq ft, as well as specious? Quick! Get the checkbook. Not.

Reading the DC real estate ads these days is like watching They Shoot Horses, Don't They? Inventory has quadrupled, prices have tumbled, and ad writers are getting desperate. And sloppy.

In other words, flippers are flipping out as interest rates rise and salaries remain stagnant, and those who need to sell because of relocation (or some other family reason) are pretty much screwed.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Katherine Harris Update: Still Too Stupid To Appear In Public

Shhh! Don't tell Katherine she's been had. Again.

In bygone days, Katherine Harris would have been that crazy aunt you locked away because she was either prone to the vapours or insisted on embarrassing the family for the hell of it.

Today, Katherine Harris is a US representative (R, Bush Family Payoffville) running for the US Senate against incumbent Democrat, Bill Nelson (D, Sanity). So it's no wonder that "some Democrats," the ones who can keep a straight face, are encouraging Katherine, The Has Been BushCo Concubine, to stay in the race until, well...

Harris' "Poll": U.S. Rep. says Democrats want her to beat Nelson

EAST PALATKA -- U.S. Rep. Katherine Harris said she is getting support in strange places in her fall bid for the U.S. Senate.

Harris, the Republican who represents Florida's 13th District, spoke at a Lincoln Day dinner held by the Putnam County Republican Executive Committee on Saturday night, saying House Democrats have told her they want her to beat incumbent Democrat Sen. Bill Nelson in their race for the U.S. Senate this November.

"I've had Democrats in the House of Representatives come to me and say 'You know, we'd really like to take the majority in the U.S. Senate'-- these are Florida Democrats in the U.S. Congress--— 'but you'’ll do so much more for us if you're there. We hope you win,'" Harris told a crowd gathered at the Putnam County Shrine Club.

Hm. Florida Democrats in the US House of Representatives.

These Florida Dems must be unable to stop laughing today:

Allen Boyd
Corrine Brown
Jim Davis
Debbie Wasserman Schultz
Alcee L. Hastings
Kendrick B. Meek
Robert Wexler

Thanks, Guys! You made my day!

Evidently, Katherine Harris will believe anything.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

In Memoriam

(aka Eddie, the dog

Dog That Starred In 'Frasier' Dies

NEW YORK -- The dog that drove Frasier crazy has died.

Eddie was played on the television series by a Jack Russell terrier named Moose. His trainer told People magazine that Moose was 16 1/2 years old when he died at her home in Los Angeles.

He'd been retired for the last six years of his life.

Moose also starred in the movie "My Dog Skip" as the older Skip.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

What Did Bill Clinton Say When He Heard About Rush Limbaugh's Viagra Drug Bust?


He couldn't stop laughing.

Thanks. I'll be here all week.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Rush Closes In On Pinball Wizard Status

As the facts unfold in the continuing saga of Rush Limbaugh's Doctors' Viagra prescription, we now know that Rush was traveling with "three other people."

Who are they? What did this little foursome do in The Dominican Republic?

Also, the same news story reports "Viagra bottles."

As in "more than one." How much Little Blue does it take for a weekend with Rush? Don't answer that.

The funniest blog comments this morning:

Rush lost most of his hearing after abusing Oxycotin.

Now, he could lose his eyesight because of the Viagra.

That means that Rush will soon be only one sense shy of Pinball Wizard!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Rush's Doctor's Doctors' Viagra Update

According to sources, the private plane Rush used for his little jaunt to The Dominican Republic is owned by Premier Radio networks (a subsidiary of Clear Channel).

Also noteworthy is the fact that Republicans don't want to privatize airport management because they don't want to expose private jets to the tax that only commuters have to pay. I'm sure that's not the only thing related to private planes that Republicans don't want exposed.

By the way, there are TWO FLORIDA DOCTORS' names on Rush's pill bottle, not just one. Evidently, Rush took the little blue pills out of the country with him and then brought them back again.

Watch the original West Palm Beach CBS4 Breaking News video for the complete story.

Last, but not least, despite repeated attempts, Bob Dole seems to be unavailable for comment on this blog post.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

What's Up With Rush Limbaugh's Doctor's Viagra Prescription?

Don't answer that question!

I'm still trying to get beyond the unmarried, über-Christian, self-proclaimed drug addict flying off to the Dominican Republic for a weekend of Gawd Knows What (Psst! Sex Tourism, Anyone?) —with his doctor's bottle of 29 Viagra pills—— while on probation for controlled substance abuse.

Rush's lawyer says it's no big deal.

Stop laughing.

Big deal or not, Rush is currently on probation, which means that breaking the law-- any law-- should nullify his plea agreement. But, hey! This is Rush, the darling lardass of the Bush administration.


Rush Limbaugh halted over Viagra at airport


A Customs inspector going through the baggage of conservative radio show host Rush Limbaugh on Monday afternoon found 29 small blue tablets -- a supply of the impotence drug Viagra.

Trouble is, the name on the bottle wasn't Limbaugh's.

"Limbaugh said it was for his own personal use and that the name on it was his doctor's," said Sgt. Pete Palenzuela, a spokesman for the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office.

Possession of drugs prescribed to someone else is a second-degree misdemeanor. --snip--

A doctor had prescribed the drug, but it was "labeled as being issued to the physician rather than Mr. Limbaugh for privacy purposes," Roy Black, Limbaugh's attorney, said in a statement, according to The Associated Press.

Limbaugh was arrested on prescription fraud charges in April, and is bound by the terms of a deal he cut with prosecutors that dismissed those charges and allowed him to plead not guilty as long as he fulfilled certain conditions, such as random drug tests. A new charge could jeopardize that deal, said Palm Beach State Attorney's office spokesman Mike Edmondson.

I, for one, am waiting to see Rush's doctor frog marched out of his office.

And I have to admit that I've enjoyed the photoshoppers' paradise this morning:

Of course, Rush's doctor's Viagra pills are just the latest in a long line of Rush Limbaugh lies about controlled substances...

Hell, no, I don't feel sorry for Rush Limbaugh today. And I don't feel sorry for his stupid doctor, either.

Cue that Law & Order pizzicato!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, June 26, 2006

Kiss My Grits, Peckerwoods!

Y'all wonna see sumpin Pure D dumb? Pull uppa chayer un take yorself uh gander at this...

The author of what has been described as the definitive dictionary of slang is gobsmacked, gutted, throwing up bunches, honked, hipped and jacked like a cock-maggot in a sink-hole. A North Carolina school district has banned the dictionary under pressure from one of a growing number of conservative Christian groups using the internet to encourage school book bans across the US. More, including several books on the burn banning list.

I'll juss swan! Lawsy, them young uns's gonna git 'em selfs some good ol' upstandin' book learnin' now.

I once had the "awl" in my car changed in North Carolina. Being a native Texan, I was able to understand the vernacular; however, I would neither consider the pronunciation of nomenclature (pee can pie, scrambled aygs) used predominantly in North Carolina as standard English nor as one whit better than any other region or culture's... er, slang.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Sermon On The Blog: Republican Claims Satan Is Ruining His Campaign

No, really. This is no joke.

Congressional Hopeful Blames Troubles On The Devil

SALT LAKE CITY Republican congressional hopeful John Jacob believes the devil is impeding his efforts to unseat five-term Representative Chris Cannon.

He says there's another force that wants to keep him from going to Washington and the devil is what it is.

Jacob says that since he decided to run for Congress, Satan has disrupted his business deals, preventing him from putting as much money into the race as he had hoped.

Jacob said during a Wednesday immigration event that the devil was working against him, then reiterated his belief yesterday in a meeting with The Salt Lake Tribune editorial board.

Hm. Is it Satan, or is it just really bad campaign decisions?

From a news story dated Dec. 3, 2005...

Jacob figures he must outspend Cannon because he is not as well known as the incumbent.

Jacob added that until a few months ago he was planning on running against U.S. Sen. Orrin Hatch next year. He said he decided against it after talking to Hatch and examining his record. But Jacob acknowledges that Hatch's $2 million war chest had something to do with that decision.

"I'd have had to spend $5 million" — much of it his own money — to offset Hatch's $2 million, Jacob said.

Rep. Cannon, with $70,000 in the bank, didn't pose that problem. In fact, said Jacob, Rep. Cannon's history of not having much cash in his campaign account has invited the various intra-party challenges he's seen the past few years.

No mention of Satan at work in that news story, was there?

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go forth today and question those who claim that Satan is holding them back. Chances are they're big fat liars.

I don't care what you believe in. I don't even care what you don't believe in. That's your business.

But you have a right to know whether or not someone is scamming you big time, especially when he there's a big damned R after his name.

I mean it, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, June 24, 2006

LauraDubyaCondi: The Beltway Rumor That Just Won't Die (Unless There's Another Anthrax Attack On Tabloids)

Speaking of creepy crawly things that just won't die, here's a shout out to all of the (cough) cuddly (cough) College Republicans who either posted comments or took the time to email me this week. The thought of paid Rove-Abramoff political offspring wasting time commenting on a little Blogspot blog warms my heart.

Thanks, Guys!

By the way, my firewall security company alerted me when you tried to spider my files, and they know who you are.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, June 23, 2006

FBI Instigates Terror Plot, Then Arrests Its Marks?

By now, you've probably heard that the FBI (pictured at left, in jungle camogear for inner-city Miami raids-- Stop laughing!) has "foiled" an "Al Qaida- like" terror plot in Miami's Liberty City area. The FBI stormed an empty warehouse and found...


No bombs. But the FBI says they're terrorists, and the FBI is run by honorable men.

No bomb-making equipment. But the FBI says they're terrorists, and the FBI is run by honorable men.

No links to Al Qaida. But the FBI says they're terrorists, and the FBI is run by honorable men.

According to reports, the group in question is called The Seas Of David. Weird name for a Muslim terror group? Uh, yeah. But the FBI says they're terrorists, and the FBI is run by honorable men.

According to reports, the group in question recruits young men who desire to exercise, help the poor, and practice Karate Kid-like discipline in order to avoid alcohol, drugs, and a life of crime. But the FBI says they're terrorists, and the FBI is run by honorable men.

"There is no imminent threat to Miami or any other area," said FBI spokesman Richard Kolko. But the FBI says they're terrorists, and the FBI is run by honorable men.

It's an election year.

9/11, Terror! Be Afraid! Terror!, and "Stay The Course" are the campaign battle cries of desperate Republicans.

Honestly, if you believe the Prada Gucci Fendi shoppers, tourists, and restaurant patrons in the Sears Tower wouldn't cry "Poor People!" at the first sight of these Miami Karate students, you're seriously out of touch.

For this reason, the FBI is this week's Backside of the Bell Curve winner.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Will The Bush Humiliation Never End?

That face.

That damned deer-in-the-headlights face.

That damned toddler-in-wonderland face.

No wonder Republican candidates are avoiding this moron like the plague.

U.S. President George W. Bush (L) walks with Hungarian Prime Minister Ferenc Gyurcsany (C) as they are escorted by an honor guard upon arriving at the Parliament building in Budapest, June 22, 2006. REUTERS/Jim Young (HUNGARY)

It's a crying shame that no one ever cared enough about this moron to teach him any manners.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Santorum Is Too Stupid To Be A US Senator

Rick Santorum (R, PA and/or VA) is stupid, and anyone who voted for him is either an idiot or hoping to profit from Ricky's access to power.

There's no other excuse for Rick Sans-Scrotum's latest US Senate floor shenanigans, as reported by (cough) FOX News...

Report: Hundreds of WMDs Found in Iraq
Wednesday, June 21, 2006

WASHINGTON- The United States has found 500 chemical weapons in Iraq since 2003, and more weapons of mass destruction are likely to be uncovered, two Republican lawmakers said Wednesday.

"We have found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, chemical weapons," Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pa., said in a quickly called press conference late Wednesday afternoon.

Pre-Gulf War I, rotting, putrid, unusable pieces of crap.

How thoroughly embarrassing.

America called. She wants her pride back, Ricky.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The College Republican National Committee Has A New Address

Sometime during the last two months, the College Republican National Committee moved into their new DC digs... And they've even changed their contact info on their website:

College Republican National Committee
600 Pennsylvania Ave. SE Suite 215 - Washington DC 20003
Phone: (888) 765-3564 Fax: (202) 608-1429

I saw their current chairman yesterday, mid cell phone call... Pacing in a quasi-calm, yet somewhat urgently animated fashion, in the second floor hallway of the building. (I was leaving the physiotherapy office after having my knee injury treated).

The list of past chairmen reads like a reference list on a demon's résumé, namely Karl Rove (1973-77) and Jack Abramoff (1981-85).

I, for one, hope these little soulless, future seersuckers on the back nine continue taking cell phone calls in the 2nd floor hallway of 600 Penn Ave SE... And I'm glad they've moved into one of the district's most liberal neighborhoods.

They're much easier to monitor this way.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Japan "Cuts & Runs" From Iraq Today

Japan isn't just "cutting & running," though.

Japan is declaring victory and departing the field.

Japan to Withdraw Troops From Iraq
Published: June 20, 2006

TOKYO (AP) -- Japan ordered the withdrawal of its ground troops from Iraq on Tuesday, declaring the humanitarian mission a success and ending a groundbreaking dispatch that tested the limits of its pacifist postwar constitution.

Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi said the 600 non-combat troops -- deployed in early 2004 -- had helped rebuild infrastructure in the area where they were based, and he pledged further aid to Iraqi reconstruction.

"Today we have decided to withdraw Ground Self-Defense Forces from the Samawah region in Iraq," Koizumi said in a nationally televised news conference. "The humanitarian dispatch ... has achieved its mission."
600 Japanese "reconstruction" humanitarians are going home.

What will the Dutch troops do now that they are no longer providing security for the 600 Japanese troops in Iraq?

I guess we'll have to wait and see if the Dutch redeploy or "cut & run," themselves.

By the way, it's obvious that Bush lovers have no idea where the term "cut & run" comes from. If they did, they wouldn't equate the metaphor for "doing the smart thing" in an emergency with cowardice:

Cut & Run- NOT the cutting of the anchor cable and running away, but the process of furling the sails on their yards and stopping them there with light spunyarn ; this could be easily cut with a knife so that the sails fell and drew almost immediately.

Surviving to fight another day is not cowardice.

The sham Bush coalition continues to dwindle...

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, June 19, 2006

Cal Thomas Calls FOX News "Trailer Trash Pie"

Uh huh, that Cal Thomas... The so far off the edge of the rightwing that he's barely hanging on to the tip of the fringe Cal Thomas.

I'm not sure which color commentary phrase describing FOX News is Cal's finest: "tabloid;" "big-lipped blondes;" or "trailer trash pie." Watch the video and decide for yourself.

If this is the opinion of "America's Christian columnist," why is Cal still working for FOX News?

$$$, of course.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Snarky Sermon on the Blog: The Lynn Commandments

Congressman Lynn Westmorland (R- Georgia Cracker) can list 3 commandments.

3 out of 10, mind you. What a guy!

Watch The Video.

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go forth today and question those who claim to be holier than thou. Chances are they're big fat scammers.

I don't care what you believe in. I don't even care what you don't believe in. That's your business.

But you have a right to know whether or not someone is scamming you big time, especially when he there's a big damned R after his name.

I mean it, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, June 17, 2006

George W. Bush Sings U2!

With apologies to U2...

Click Here
and crank up the volume.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, June 16, 2006

Today's House Vote: Continue Our Present Suicide Mission or Redeploy?

2500 dead. Tens of thousands maimed. Billions and billions of dollars squandered. And Republicans plan to draw a line in the sand, demanding that worn out "with us or against us" crap?

Even the Freedom Fries guy is against this political play:

"This is nothing more or less than really a charade," said Rep. Walter Jones Jr., R-N.C., who made headlines in the run-up to the Iraq invasion by changing French fries to Freedom fries in the House dining room but has since turned strongly against the war.

How many daily deaths are acceptable to you, Republicans?

How many permanently maimed per day?

How much money wasted per day?

You still haven't answered the burning questions: What exactly is the mission?

How will we know when we've won?

Truly heavy sigh.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, June 15, 2006

NSA Spying On Your Email Account? Find Out Now.

Is yours "an email account of interest" to the NSA? Find out now.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Let's Play A Game: Where Does Tom DeLay Really Live?

Here are your choices:

A. Tom DeLay lives in Texas.

B. Tom DeLay lives in Virginia.

Supporting Evidence:

Texas- Tom DeLay solicited campaign donations from the (cough) good people of Texas for his re-election as their US Representative, filed the necessary papers, and won the primary.

Now, DeLay gets to keep all of those campaign donations, which will surely come in handy when his gi-normous legal bills come due; however, DeLay has resigned his seat and plans to move to Virginia, where he'll most likely join the ranks of the disgraced Republican lobbying crime syndicate. Ka-Ching!

Virginia- Tom DeLay has registered to vote in Virginia, even though he still has a homestead tax exemption in Texas, even though his family is staying in Texas, and even though he's ON THE FRIGGIN' BALLOT IN TEXAS.

Now, DeLay has to leave Texas because Texas law requires him to leave the state so another candidate's name can replace his on the ballot.

Confused yet?

Democrats' Suit Slaps Speed Bumps On Republicans' Congressional Racetrack

by Bob Dunn

Regardless of the motives or merits of a lawsuit filed Thursday by the Texas Democratic Party, Republicans will have to admit the action has had an immediate freezing effect on their plans to get a Tom DeLay replacement candidate out into the public.

The suit, and a temporary restraining order granted late Friday afternoon by Travis County District Court Judge Darlene Bryne, is aimed at preventing anyone but DeLay from appearing on the November ballot for Congressional District 22.

Language in the restraining order, which is in effect until Judge Byrne says otherwise, specifically prevents Texas GOP Chair Tina Benkiser from calling a meeting of what we’ve been referring to as the Committee of 4 – one CD-22 precinct chair each from Fort Bend, Harris, Brazoria and Galveston counties, who are supposed to choose a DeLay replacement candidate. --snip--

Tom DeLay swears he’s ineligible for office based on living outside the district, when a scant few months ago former Fort Bend County GOP Chairman Eric Thode swore he was eligible to continue holding office despite admittedly living outside the county.

If you picked Texas, know this: Tom DeLay will be defeated easily by Nick Lampson in November, and the Bug Man will forever be known as the sleaze bucket who went out in utter humiliation.

If you picked Virginia, Tom DeLay has committed voter fraud (like Ann Coulter in Florida), which is a friggin' felony.

By dashing over the Virginia line, getting a driver's license, and registering to vote while still claiming a homestead exemption in Texas, the IRS should also sit up and take notice.

Of course, the big R after DeLay's name probably means that no legal authority will really challenge the former insect exterminator. That being said, at least DeLay will have to part with a sizable chunk of his campaign donations from his foolish followers.

And we all win when that happens.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Rove's Got A Brand New Pair Of Roller Skates

Rove Won't Be Charged in C.I.A. Leak Case

Published: June 13, 2006

WASHINGTON, June 13 — The prosecutor in the C.I.A. leak case on Monday advised Karl Rove, the senior White House adviser, that he would not be charged with any wrongdoing, effectively ending the nearly three-year criminal investigation that had at times focused intensely on Mr. Rove.

The decision by the prosecutor, Patrick J. Fitzgerald, announced in a letter to Mr. Rove's lawyer, Robert D. Luskin, lifted a pall that had hung over Mr. Rove who testified on five occasions to a federal grand jury about his involvement in the disclosure of an intelligence officer's identity.

In a statement, Mr. Luskin said, "On June 12, 2006, Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald formally advised us that he does not anticipate seeking charges against Karl Rove."
The only good news: It looks like the investigation is focusing on Vice President Cheney's office.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, June 12, 2006

When A Republican Uses The Word "Choice," You Know It's A Scam

Have you seen that new "Net Neutrality" commercial? The one with the plain-spoken, salt-of-the-earth Texas twang-sounding voiceovers? Yeah, that one. The one in which Joe & Jane Sixpack urge you to call your representatives and voice your support for internet "choice."

It's a scam, people. Even The Christian Coalition is against the US House (Republican) bill:

The Christian Coalition, in a news release, said it is concerned that large broadband providers will block content that they don't agree with. Some providers could block antiabortion Web sites, said Roberta Combs, the group's president. Without a net neutrality provision, "there is nothing to stop the cable and phone companies from not allowing consumers to have access to speech that they don't support," she said in a statement.

As for Republicans and "choice"...

Health Care: "Republicans Offer Choice, Lower Costs, and Better Care"-- (It's a nightmare for everyone involved in choosing a plan that's inferior to the one we have now.)

Social Security:
See The Cato Institute's Project On Social Security Choice-- (It's another scam-- this one is stock market-based.)

Education: Republicans have funneled public school money into private schools in the name of "school choice," a program which has not improved education. Just think, you're now funding inferior public schools and inferior "choice" schools.

And the beat goes on...

When a Republican uses the word "choice," you should know by now that there's a big fat whammy about to be perpetrated on you and your wallet.

"Internet Choice" is just another in a long line of Republican scams, and US taxpayers are the marks.

That Hicksville voiceover commercial doesn't mention access tiering, does it?

To date, the debate has focused primarily on a type of discrimination known as "“access tiering,"” in which network owners charge websites and application providers more for premium (i.e., higher speed) service. Access tiering could provide benefits similar to those provided by the emergence of premium mail services like FedEx. Instead of taking 3-4 days to send a letter from coast to coast, FedEx made it possible to send the same letter overnight. FedEx customers were more than happy to pay more for faster service, since it opened up new ways of doing business that were impossible when everyone paid the same amount for a single class of service.

You've already paid for the current high speed quality infrastructure of the internet with your tax dollars. Do you really want to pay more for the services you've already paid for? Republicans think you'll be glad to... Because they think you're stupid.

By the way, when FedEx became the delivery industry "choice," the US Postal Service stepped up and offered the same (but cheaper) service.

Oh, and..The examples of why Republicans want you to believe that you should pay more for the internet aren't even US examples; they're Canadian.

Ask yourself: Do you want more corporate control of the internet? If so, you're probably too Republican to figure out the scam..One of those 33 percenters left who've drunk so much Kool-Aid that you'd follow a BushCo corporatist off a damned cliff if s/he used the word "choice."

Heavy sigh.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Snarky Sermon on the Blog: Scientology Goes NASCAR

Get ready to rumble
... not!

From ABC News:

Scientology Goes NASCAR
With Dianetics Race Car

June 6, 2006 — The Church of Scientology is gearing up to bring its message to a whole new arena: racing fans.

"Ignite Your Potential" is the mantra Scientology uses to get Tom Cruise and other Hollywood celebs jumping up and down. Now that message will be used to fuel the engines of a new NASCAR race team.

The venture is called "The Dianetics Racing Team," named after the best-selling self-help book written by the movement's founder, science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard. --snip--

NASCAR is the most popular spectator sport in the country, with 75 million fans. Most people know the church through its famous members like Tom Cruise, his fiancee Katie Holmes, Kirstie Alley, John Travolta, and Kelly Preston.

Followers of Scientology tout its ability to improve their lives, but the organization has drawn considerable criticism over the years. Recently, Cruise made headlines for controversial comments opposing the use of psychiatric drugs, and for following Scientology's practice of "silent birth" with Holmes.
One has to wonder...

Has the Church of Scientology conducted extensive marketing research and found that NASCAR fans are potential converts to space ship-based religions?


Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go forth today and be aware of religious marketing campaigns directed at your hobby interests.

I don't care what you believe in. I don't even care what you don't believe in. That's your business.

But you have a right to know whether or not someone is targeting you for conversion and financial support.

I mean it, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Vaginas Must Wear Dresses
At Douglas Byrd High School

Today's lesson: the law v an individual North Carolina public school's man-made Vagina Dress Code policy.

Have you ever noticed that public school administrators do whatever the hell they want to until a legal case is launched. Then, they back down and claim they had no idea that anyone really cared-- and that those opposing should've spoken up earlier.

Jeez, why don't they just admit that their policy is to break the law until someone makes them stop? I, for one, would have a lot more respect for them if they'd just be honest about their fascist fundie bigotry.

Bobbie Spanbauer was barred from participating in her PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL'S graduation ceremony Wednesday because she refused to wear a dress.

Title IX is still the law of the land... Or is it?:

Section 1681. Sex

(a) Prohibition against discrimination; exceptions. No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any education program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance
Maybe the Vagina Dress Code policy is detailed in
Douglas Byrd High School's graduation requirements:

Graduation Requirements

A total of 28 Carnegie units are required for the graduating class of 2006. Of the 28 units, the following are required for graduation: English - 4 units; Mathematics - 3 units, including Algebra I, depending on course of study; Social Studies - 3 units (Political Economic and Legal Systems, US History, and a World Studies); Science - 3 units (Physical Science, Biology, and Earth & Environmental Science); Health - 1/2 unit; Physical Education - 1/2 unit; Electives - 14 units, this may include four units from a designated pathway if choosing the college tech prep course of study.

The North Carolina Competency Test program specifies; all students who receive a North North Carolina high school diploma must meet minimum standards in reading and mathematics. Students who meet course requirements for graduation but fail to meet the criteria for the Competency Test will only receive a certificate until criteria are met. Students are also required to master the N.C. Computer Skills Test before receiving a diploma.
Nope. Oh, wait! Maybe the Vagina Dress Code policy is included in the principal's message:

Douglas Byrd High School, named after F. D. Byrd late superintendent of Cumberland County Schools, is one of 13 high schools in the county. Byrd is centrally located in an established neighborhood near Cape Fear Valley Hospital. Our staff is culturally divers with a variety of experience to include young teachers and teachers with 30+ years in the classroom.

Byrd is the recipient of state and federal grants, which fund unique programs such as our Freshman Academy (using Talent Development High School Model from John Hopkins University), 21st Century After School Program, and our great Expectations Lab. Programs such as these help teachers build relationships with students through relevant and rigorous academic classes.

Our freshmen are nurtured with a double dose of math, social studies, and that are the foundations for success in the next grade. Freshmen are encouraged to select an academy for their sophomore year. Choices include the Finance Academy (specialized courses in finance, summer internships, & other enrichment activities), The Ford Partnership for Advanced Studies (Ford PAS), sponsored by the Ford Motor Company is a rigorous, application based program designed to introduce high school students to concepts and skills they will need to succeed in the world of work. Teacher Cadet Academy - prepares students for a career in education, JROTC - prepares students for a military career, Programming and Broadcasting classes along with Cultural Arts classes make up the Media/Technology/Communications Academy. Students thrive in the smaller learning communities within the large high school.

Douglas Byrd High School is an example of a comprehensive high school that is being reformed to meet the needs of all students and to offer special relationships to encourage students to remain in school. As a recipient of the Small Learning Communities grant, an additional counselor and a clerk for the freshman Academy were funded. The freshman Academy office has a separate phone number and the office is available for parents for meetings, conferences or just information.

Please visit our web site for more Douglas Byrd High School information. Douglas Byrd High School where the Eagles soar and learning is taken to new heights!

Jackie Warner, Principal

Douglas Byrd High School

910 483-3835

910 323-4127 (Fax)

Nope. Nothing about vaginas being required to wear dresses there, either.

Oh, here it is, couched like a bastard child, in the Senior News section:


Black or White Dress
(no longer than the Gown)
No Strapless Dresses
Hose that match skin tone
Black dress closed toe and heel shoes

Is it still 1970? That was the last year I remember being required to wear a damned dress to school.

Interesting, isn't it, that vaginas at Douglas Byrd HS have no such dress requirement during the rest of the school year? Graduating vaginas are allowed to wear shorts and pants every other day of the year, but they have to look like good little June Cleavers on graduation day?

Come on, DBHS admins! Let your law-breaking bigotry soar like your mascot! Either go all the way with your Vagina Dress Code policy, or enter the 21st century, damn it.

Douglas Byrd HS Administrators: This week's Backside of the Bell Curve winners!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, June 09, 2006

Back To The Buggy Future

I'm off to Amish country today (Lancaster County, PA) to look at real estate properties. This should be interesting: There are currently 3050 properties for sale in the county.

I'll be back tomorrow with an update on the state of the real estate "boom" in horse & buggy land.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Abus Musab Al Zarqawi Is Dead Again... Right On Schedule

Please. This guy has died and risen again more times than Jesus and Osiris put together. The stories about him are legion: He has one leg; he's dead; he's alive; he singlehandedly beheaded people; He's the No. 3 guy; He's the No. 2 guy; He's the No. 1 guy.

Raise your hand if you believe Donald Rumsfeld's sockpuppet, Gen. Casey, when he says the Z Man has been killed in the bombing of a house, and we've identified him through fingerprints and facial recognition.

RepubliCONS are nothing but predictable. Just yesterday, the Z Man was "scheduled for martyrdom" because his "relationship with mainline Al Qaeda" has "deteriorated":

Zarqawi Scheduled for Martyrdom

June 7, 2006: The relationship between terrorist leader Abu Musab al Zarqawi and and the mainline al Qaeda leadership continues to deteriorate. Zarqawi's recent audio messages have not only attacked the U.S. and the Shia-dominated government in Iraq, but also Iran. He's even claiming that the U.S., Iran, and Shia in general, are in cahoots to destroy Islam. He has also called for continued attacks against Shia.

Except for his verbal attacks on the U.S. and the Iraqi government, he is almost totally distanced himself from the central leadership. Other al Qaeda leaders have been trying to down play anti-Iranian and anti-Shia rhetoric, and have been strongly discouraging attacks on civilians.

Given that Zarqawi has become a loose cannon and that his actions are handicapping Al Qaeda's efforts, it seems reasonable to expect that an accident may befall him at some point in the near future. If handled right it can be made to look like he went out in a blaze of glory fighting American troops or that he was foully murdered. Either way, al Qaeda gets rid of a problem and gains another "martyr."
Nothing has changed in Iraq. The killing continues, and another Goldstein will be trotted out to scare enough red state voters into showing up at the polls in November to facilitate another bogus win based on "family values" and "winning the war on terror."

Forget Haditha, Citizens.
Al Zarqawi is dead.
Dead, I tell you.



Propaganda: it's what's for breakfast this morning.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

A Tale Of Two Ad Posters: Jon Stewart's Emmy Ad v That "Fox News Is Hiring" Ad

One has to wonder...

If Faux Snooze is so morally "fair and balanced," why do they have so many job openings at one time? Unhappy hatemongers deserting the ship of faux snooze fools? A recent witch hunting purge of not fair and balanced enough (trans. Not fascist fundie enough) employees?

Meanwhile, The Daily Show probably gets 1000 letters of interest and résumés a day.

As for CBS hiring that annoying Katie Couric, WWERMD?

What would Edward R. Murrow do?

There is still a small plaque in the lobby of CBS headquarters in New York City which contains the image of Murrow and the inscription: "He set standards of excellence that remain unsurpassed."

Truly heavy sigh.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, June 06, 2006


Forget about the 62nd anniversary of D Day.

Don't even bring up the 72nd anniversary of FDR's Securities Exchange Act.

And don't bother worrying about the election in CA today, which will determine who fills disgraced Randy "Duke" Cunningham's vacant seat.

It's Tuesday, 06-06-06 CE.

If you believe that our calendar is infallible, that babies born on this day should be placed on Damien Watch Lists, or that there is devilish power in individual numbers, The APA is here to help.

Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia. It's on the news menu today. So far, it's the top story on cable TV news.

And what do cable news networks fear today?

Athazagoraphobia - Fear of being forgotten.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, June 05, 2006

To The (Laughing) Stocks With You: Lutheran Witches In Ohio

Can this really be happening in the 21st century of the common era?

Ohio, what the hell is going on?
Pastor accused of witchcraft


AUSTINTOWN-— It may not be focused on the horrors that befall college students in some creepy woods, but Mahoning County now has its own "Blair Witch Project,"’ complete with elements of witchcraft and intrigue.

The Rev. Mark Musser of Austintown is suing Emmanuel Lutheran Church from which he was fired on claims that he was involved in witchcraft.

"For an ordained minister, these are very serious accusations," said attorney Matt Blair, who is representing the pastor in the witchcraft lawsuit project.

"Webster's Dictionary defines witchcraft as practicing the dark arts, and the dark arts are defined as being in league with the devil,"’ Blair said.

According to a lawsuit filed by Musser in Mahoning County Court, Elder Dominic Monroe of Boardman came into a Bible study group and announced that Musser was being fired for practicing witchcraft.

"‘Apparently, Monroe accused (Musser) of manipulating the congregation, of casting a spell on them,"Blair said.

First of all, Webster's needs to clarify its definition of witchcraft.

One entry found for witchcraft.
Main Entry: witch·craft
Pronunciation: 'wich-"kraft
Function: noun
1 a : the use of sorcery or magic b : communication with the devil or with a familiar
2 : an irresistible influence or fascination

As for these Ohio Lutherans...

To the stocks with all of you!

Laughing Stocks, that is.

I have to wonder, though...

Would Pastor Musser float if put to the test?

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Sermon On The Blog: Gamers For God?

Just in time for holiday giving! Would it be cool to watch your children open their new video game (Left Behind: Eternal Forces) from Santa (and God, Himself) this Christmas? Here's the deal:

Imagine: you are a foot soldier in a paramilitary group whose purpose is to remake America as a Christian theocracy, and establish its worldly vision of the dominion of Christ over all aspects of life. You are issued high-tech military weaponry, and instructed to engage the infidel on the streets of New York City. You are on a mission - both a religious mission and a military mission -- to convert or kill Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, gays, and anyone who advocates the separation of church and state - especially moderate, mainstream Christians. Your mission is "to conduct physical and spiritual warfare"; all who resist must be taken out with extreme prejudice. You have never felt so powerful, so driven by a purpose: you are 13 years old. You are playing a real-time strategy video game whose creators are linked to the empire of mega-church pastor Rick Warren, best selling author of The Purpose Driven Life.

The game, slated for release by October 2006 in advance of the Christmas shopping rush, has been previewed at video game exhibitions, and reviewed by major newspapers and magazines. But until now, no fan or critic has pointed out the controversial game's connection to Mr. Warren or his dominionist agenda.

So where did this "game" come from?

The game, Left Behind: Eternal Forces, is based on scenes from the first four novels in the series. The game was developed by a publicly-traded company called Left Behind Games, according to SEC records. The developers obtained the license from Tyndale House, the Christian publisher of Left Behind. Tyndale also publishes Bringing Up Boys and The Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide by Focus on the Family founder James Dobson, PhD. Mr. Dobson has advised parents to monitor the amount of time children spend playing video games and "avoid the violent ones altogether." But he has not yet stated his views on whether there should be an exception for video games that role play gunplay in the name of Christ, or of the AntiChrist.

If this game appeals to your definition of Christianity, your God, and/or your family values...


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--