Friday, November 30, 2007

I-35 Was Created By God?

You can't make this crap up: Robertson and his Holy Rollers believe that Interstate and Isaiah are the same. And that in our modern North-South highway numbering system (multiples of five, anyone?), the number 35 refers to chapter 35 of the book of Isaiah.

Hey, the virgin in the taco people got nothin' on Pat & Company.

My favorite part: the "back-slidden youth pastor" (no longer gay) crap, complete with "Fire!"


How do these "Purity Siege" types explain the "forked" splits of I-35 at Hillsboro and Denton, TX, and at Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN?

They don't.

So, where did these freaks get their I-35 crap?

Isaiah 35

1The wilderness and the solitary place shall be glad for them; and the desert shall rejoice, and blossom as the rose.

2It shall blossom abundantly, and rejoice even with joy and singing: the glory of Lebanon shall be given unto it, the excellency of Carmel and Sharon, they shall see the glory of the LORD, and the excellency of our God.

3Strengthen ye the weak hands, and confirm the feeble knees.

4Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong, fear not: behold, your God will come with vengeance, even God with a recompence; he will come and save you.

5Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped.

6Then shall the lame man leap as an hart, and the tongue of the dumb sing: for in the wilderness shall waters break out, and streams in the desert.

7And the parched ground shall become a pool, and the thirsty land springs of water: in the habitation of dragons, where each lay, shall be grass with reeds and rushes.

8And an highway shall be there, and a way, and it shall be called The way of holiness; the unclean shall not pass over it; but it shall be for those: the wayfaring men, though fools, shall not err therein.

9No lion shall be there, nor any ravenous beast shall go up thereon, it shall not be found there; but the redeemed shall walk there:

10And the ransomed of the LORD shall return, and come to Zion with songs and everlasting joy upon their heads: they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

Obviously, these people have no idea how pig ignorant they are. One of them noticed that I-35 is a highway, and Isaiah 35 has the multi-translated word highway in it: Et voilà! An idiotic idea is born.

By the way, the word highway first appeared in 1649 CE.

Pssst! The average speed clocked in speeding violations on I-35 near Georgetown, TX, is 83 mph.

Hm. There is no Isaiah 83. The last chapter is 66.

Check this out:

Isaiah 66

17They that sanctify themselves, and purify themselves in the gardens behind one tree in the midst, eating swine's flesh, and the abomination, and the mouse, shall be consumed together, saith the LORD.

This obviously means that God will fry you if you eat pork BBQ on Route 66.


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Oh, Canada! You're Too Scary For Me!

I used to love all things Canadian.

I even thought about retiring there...

Until I watched this Public Service Announcement:

Think it's a spoof?

Check this out:

Sorry, Canada.

Too scary.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

When The Weekly Standard Thinks R Prez Candidates Suck...

... You know it's hard out there for an R-vote pimp rag.

So, a good night for for the lowest denominator, a bad night for the GOP. America got to see a vaguely threatening parade of gun fetishists, flat worlders, Mars Explorers, Confederate flag lovers and zombie-eyed-Bible-wavers as well as various one issue activists hammering their pet causes. My cheers went to a listless Fred Thompson who easily qualified himself to be president in my book by looking all night like he would cheerfully trade his left arm for an early exit off the stage to a waiting Scotch and good Cuban cigar. The media will probably award a win to Mike Huckabee, the easy listening music candidate at home in any crowd, fluent in simpleton speak and the one man on the stage tonight who led the audience to roaring cheers by boasting that he had a special qualification to be president that none of the second-raters on the stage could match: A degree in Bible Studies from Ouachita Baptist University of Arkadelphia, Arkansas.


According to this post-debate flash poll, Huckabee sucks the least.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Flying Monkeys & Bush's Butt

Bush’s veil of secrecy

Click here
and listen carefully... after the commercial, of course.

Ya gotta love the crew's spontaneous laughter.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Rove Embraces His Inner Suckiness

Hey, did you actually expect KKKarl Rove not to continue lying about his former bread & butter gig with BushCo?

According to Karl Rove (on Charlie Rose), the Bush Administration did not want Congress to vote on the Iraq War resolution in the fall of 2002, because they thought it should not be done within the context of an election. Rove, you see, did not think the war vote should be "political".

Moreover, according to Rove, that "premature vote" led to many of the problems that cropped up in the Iraq War. Had Congress not pushed, he says, Bush could have spent more time assembling a coalition, and provided more time to the inspectors. ...

Thanks to Paul Abrams @ the The Huffington Post for the quote.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Mr. Bush & The Real President

One of these smiles is weirder than the other...

Take a closer look...

Is Bush stoned again?

Sure looks like it.

Maybe that's the only way he could get through this... um, awkward Oval Office meeting with Nobel Peace Prize winner, Albert Gore, Jr.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, November 26, 2007

Fred Thompson Finally Figures Out FOX Is Biased

Of course, no one has ever accused Fred Thompson of being smart; however, this little ditty confirms he's still capable of learning basic facts...

Especially when the facts hit him in the face.

Thompson charges Fox News is biased against his campaign

Former Sen. Fred Thompson (R-Tenn.) suggested on Sunday that Fox News is biased against his campaign, charging that the network highlights commentators who have been critical of his run for the presidency.

In an interview on "Fox News Sunday," host Chris Wallace pressed Thompson on how some conservatives have lambasted Thompson's campaign and showed clips of Fox conservative commentators Charles Krauthammer and Fred Barnes criticizing the former senator.

Thompson said, "This has been a constant mantra of Fox, to tell you the truth." He noted that other conservatives have praised his bid for the GOP nomination and took issue with a Fox promo that focused on polling in New Hampshire, where Thompson is registering in the single digits.

Wait! Suddenly, Thompson figures it out: He's the wounded animal about to be devoured by the stronger members of the pack...

Thompson, in a firm, but measured tone, scolded Wallace: "...for you to highlight nothing but the negatives in terms of the polls and then put on your own guys who have been predicting for four months, really, that I couldn't do it, kind of skew things a little bit. There's a lot of other opinion out there."

Krauthammer and Barnes regularly appear on Fox. Krauthammer is a syndicated columnist and Barnes is executive editor of The Weekly Standard.

Wallace denied to Thompson that "Fox has been going after you" and asked, "Do you know anybody who thinks you've run a great campaign, sir?"

Thompson responded, "It's not for me to come here and try to convince you that somebody else thinks I've run a great campaign." He added that National Review magazine has praised him for issuing detailed policy proposals on Social Security and immigration.

Following the sharp exchange, a smiling Wallace said, "I'm glad I asked the question because I got a heck of an answer."

Yes, Fred, there is a vast rightwing conspiracy. And you're just so much excess baggage.

Just fodder for the FOXers, Fred.

How does it feel?

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Today's Sermon: Do You Need A Holy Ghost Enema?

Well, do you? Watch and decide.

Yes or no?

My short answer response: No.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and do one of two things: either agree that you need the Holy Ghost up your ass (for whatever odd reason); or, ignore the crazed rantings of those severely coiffed, cubic zirconia-encrusted, dragon lady-looking televangelists, who want nothing more than your money.

I mean it, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Silly Saturday: Do You See Faces In Strange Places?

Ready for more? Click here.

And do something silly today!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, November 23, 2007

Here's Hoping This Didn't Happen To You This Week!

How was your Turkey Day?

No problems with your turkey prep this week, I hope!

Tee hee.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, November 22, 2007

It's The Great Turkey, Charlie Brown!

Thank a Native American and have a Happy Turkey Day!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Why Now, McClellan?

This seems to be the burning question of the day: If Scott McClellan's book isn't due out until April, why leak the "Bush & Cheney & Rove & Card Did it" bombshell now?

So far, I'm leaning toward the "So I don't accidentally fall out of a hotel window" answer.

How about you?

Meanwhile, a couple of legal terms come to mind: Obstruction of justice; and Conspiracy to obstruct justice.

Hm. Bush, the History major, should read the articles of impeachment prepared for Richard Nixon.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Scott McClellan: "I Unknowingly Lied"

Remember when Vice President George H. W. Bush claimed to be out of the loop during Iran/Contra?

Fast forward to today...

Scott McClellan's Book Coming in April -- Admits Wrongdoing in Clearing Rove and Libby in CIA Leak Case

By E&P Staff

NEW YORK To no one's surprise in a world where top White House aides with any president eventually write a book about it, former Press Sectetary Scott McClellan will be coming out with his volume in April.

It's called "What Happened" and its publisher, Public Affairs, at its Web site carries this brief excerpt:

"The most powerful leader in the world had called upon me to speak on his behalf and help restore credibility he lost amid the failure to find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. So I stood at the White house briefing room podium in front of the glare of the klieg lights for the better part of two weeks and publicly exonerated two of the senior-most aides in the White House: Karl Rove and Scooter Libby.

"There was one problem. It was not true."

Then snotty Scotty fingers the real liars...

"I had unknowingly passed along false information. And five of the highest ranking officials in the administration were involved in my doing so: Rove, Libby, the vice President, the President's chief of staff, and the president himself."

So now we know BushCo's updated out of the loop defense for absolutely every occasion:

"I lied accidentally (to the nation) because my best buddies lied to me."

Advice to Scotty: With friends like yours... Avoid small planes and long walks in the woods (with a gun and/or a knife). And don't go hunting with Cheney, either.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, November 19, 2007

Online Shopping Gone Wild

Click here and mouse over the picture of the blue mug in the top right corner of the products.

Sit back and watch what happens.

Keep watching. It's not over until the last speck of confetti falls.

Refresh the page to watch again.

Wasn't that fun?

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Today's Sermon: Making A List & Checking It Twice

As you read the following list of "40 Examples Of Christian privilege," how many of your family members, friends, or acquaintances appear to fit this "Christian Privilege" description?

1. It is likely that state and federal holidays coincide with my religious practices, thereby having little to no impact on my job and/or education.

2. I can talk openly about my religious practices without concern for how it will be received by others.

3. I can be sure to hear music on the radio and watch specials on television that celebrate the holidays of my religion.

4. When told about the history of civilization, I am can be sure that I am shown people of my religion made it what it is.

5. I can worry about religious privilege without being perceived as “self-interested” or “self-seeking.”

6. I can have a “Jesus is Lord” bumper sticker or Icthus (Christian Fish) on my car and not worry about someone vandalizing my car because of it.

7. I can share my holiday greetings without being fully conscious of how it may impact those who do not celebrate the same holidays. Also, I can be sure that people are knowledgeable about the holidays of my religion and will greet me with the appropriate holiday greeting (e.g., Merry Christmas, Happy Easter, etc.).

8. I can probably assume that there is a universality of religious experience.

9. I can deny Christian Privilege by asserting that all religions are essentially the same.

10. I probably do not need to learn the religious or spiritual customs of others, and I am likely not penalized for not knowing them.

11. I am probably unencumbered by having to explain why I am or am not doing things related to my religious norms on a daily basis.

12. I am likely not judged by the improper actions of others in my religious group.

13. If I wish, I can usually or exclusively be among those from my religious group most of the time (in work, school, or at home).

14. I can assume that my safety, or the safety of my family, will not be put in jeopardy by disclosing my religion to others at work or at school.

15. It is likely that mass media represents my religion widely AND positively.

16. It is likely that I can find items to buy that represent my religious norms and holidays with relative ease (e.g., food, decorations, greeting cards, etc.).

17. I can speak or write about my religion, and even critique other religions, and have these perspectives listened to and published with relative ease and without much fear of reprisal.

18. I could write an article on Christian Privilege without putting my own religion on trial.

19. I can travel without others assuming that I put them at risk because of my religion; nor will my religion put me at risk from others when I travel.

20. I can be financially successful without the assumption from others that this success is connected to my religion.

21. I can protect myself (and my children) from people who may not like me (or them) based on my religion.

22. Law enforcement officials will likely assume I am a non-threatening person if my religion is disclosed to them. In fact, disclosure may actually help law enforcement officials perceive me as being “in the right” or “unbiased."

23. I can safely assume that any authority figure will generally be someone of my religion.

24. I can talk about my religion, even proselytize, and be characterized as “sharing the word,” instead of imposing my ideas on others.

25. I can be gentle and affirming to people without being characterized as an exception to my religion.

26. I am never asked to speak on behalf of all Christians.

27. My citizenship and immigration status will likely not be questioned, and my background will likely not be investigated, because of my religion.

28. My place of worship is probably not targeted for violence because of sentiment against my religion.

29. I can be sure that my religion will not work against me when seeking medical or legal help.

30. My religion will not cause teachers to pigeonhole me into certain professions based of the assumed "prowess" of my religious group.

31. I will not have my children taken from me from governmental authorities who are aware of my religious affiliation.

32. Disclosure of my religion to an adoption agency will likely not prevent me from being able to adopt children.

33. If I wish to give my children a parochial religious education, I probably have a variety of options nearby.

34. I can be sure that my children will be given curricular materials that testify to the existence and importance of my religion.

35. I can be sure that when someone in the media is referring to G-d, they are referring to my (Christian) G-d.

36. I can easily find academic courses and institutions that give attention only to people of my religion.

37. My religious holidays are so completely “normal” that, in many ways, they may appear to no longer have any religious significance at all.

38. The elected and unelected officials of my government probably are members of my religious group.

39. When swearing an oath, I am probably making this oath by placing my hand on the scripture of my religion.

40. I can openly display my religious symbol(s) on my person or property without fear of disapproval, violence, and/or vandalism.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and consider how all of those "accepted behaviors" listed above could cause so many rightwingers to hide behind the "family values" flag.

And consider how many people are considered "less than acceptable" because of that list.

Think about it... while your gay hairdresser makes you look great, while your Hindu physician skillfully diagnoses your rare illness, and while your closeted atheist accountant secures your financial future.

I mean it, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Saturday Silliness: Mind Your Manners!

Remember this?

Be sure to add a little silliness to your Saturday!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, November 16, 2007

Bye Bye, "Blogs For Bush"

The times, they are a changing.

From Mojo Blog:

No One Wants to Blog for Bush Anymore

Once upon a time, writing a right-wing website called Blogs for Bush must have been easy. But now, when the president has lost the confidence of the American people, alienated even his far-right base over the issue of immigration, shepherded a war in disastrous fashion, and failed to achieve a single significant and lasting domestic policy victory... what to do?

Bail on Bush, of course. Blogs for Bush is changing their name to Blogs for Victory. They're saying that it is in anticipation of Bush's departure from the White House, but let's not miss the PR aspect. Check out this very suspicious correlation:

It's a bout time.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, November 15, 2007

If O.J. Skates, Will You Ever Feel Safe In A Las Vegas Casino Again?

Multiple video surveillance tapes, recorded conversations both before and after the fact, and a recording of the actual "alleged" crimes (including the use of deadly weapons) later...

Judge orders Simpson to stand trial

LAS VEGAS, Nevada (CNN) -- O.J. Simpson must stand trial on charges that could send him to prison for life, Las Vegas Township Justice of the Peace Joseph Bonaventure ordered Wednesday.

He announced his decision on the fourth and final day of evidentiary hearings in a case stemming from a confrontation in a Las Vegas hotel room on September 13.

Simpson's two co-defendants, Charles Ehrlich and Clarence Stewart, were also bound over to stand trial.


The Palace Station Casino Hotel has spared no expense in providing all the amenities that guests need to feel at home. These include a concierge service, currency exchange, daily maid service, FREE valet parking, FREE Shuttle service to The Strip and Airport, children's cribs, wake up calls, round the clock security, elevators, ATMs, and dry cleaning.

Let's break that down:

Concierge Service- When you complain about violent activity in the room next door, will the concierge comp your food?

FREE valet parking- When your armed posse arrives, do they have to tip the valet?

FREE Shuttle service to The Strip and Airport- When O.J. tells you (his gun guy) to "get out of town," can you count on this service?

Children's Cribs- Are they bullet proof?

Elevators- Are they large enough for O.J. and his armed goons?

Seriously, Las Vegas.

What can you do to assure future gamblers and their toddlers that your safety measures are O.J. proof?

I'm waiting.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Writers' Strike "Won't Affect Quality Of Katie Couric's CBS Evening News"

File this under: You can't make this shit up

"CBS News is prepared for the possibility of a writers strike. We will continue to produce quality news programming for our viewers," CBS said in a statement. A spokeswoman said CBS News would not have any further comment.

Stay tuned. CBS writers are expected to vote on Thursday.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

They're All Gonna Laugh At You!

After reading this headline, I immediately thought of Carrie's mother on prom night and the term "passive eugenics in action."

Man Hospitalized After Using Shotgun To Loosen Lug Nut

SOUTHWORTH, Wash. -- A man trying to loosen a stubborn lug nut blasted the wheel with a 12-gauge shotgun, injuring himself badly in both legs, sheriff's deputies said.

"Nobody else was there and he wasn't intoxicated," Wilson said.

While this guy's stupidity doesn't merit a Darwin Award nomination, it does make one wonder how he managed to survive to age 66.

As George Carlin once said: "The kid who swallows the most marbles doesn't grow up to have kids of his own."

For the rest of his life, the lug nut shooter will have to endure the snickering of everyone he knows. Cue Carrie's mother.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, November 12, 2007

Brokeback Bush & The Potemkin Pickup Truck

I have a few questions for native Texans (like me)...

Have you ever in your life seen a rancher who stands like this?

Have you ever seen a working-ranch truck this clean?

And how about that grill guard? Is that really necessary when you don't own any cattle?

Grill guards are popular with industrial users because it is easier to purchase a new grill guard than a new grill and radiator. For the rancher, grill guards are a wise investment. Cattle never make a light impression when they accidentally foist themselves into a grill while trying to eat hay that is under a parked truck.

If you're the Potemkin president, I guess you think you need the full package.


Like a rock.

Just dumber and puffier.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Sermon On The Blog: The Enemy Of Mine Enemy In This Phoney "War On Christmas"

Many a war has been won or lost because of alliances forged with strange bedfellows.

The alleged War on Christmas is no exception.

The "faithful" pray for the God of Abraham to smite the infidels (aka "money-grubbing" merchants) --whose non-denominational battle cry is "Happy Holidays"-- and their secular foot soldiers (aka "shoppers") who respond in kind. And the "faithful" also donate generously to those who raise the cross and march into the Godless first-amendment fray. But what of the internal "war" between religious moderates and their extremist brethren?

Moderate Example:

Brent Walker, executive director of the Washington-based Baptist Joint Committee for Religious Liberty has said...

"But often it's quite appropriate to wish another 'happy holidays' or 'season's greetings.' It's just a matter of good manners and common courtesy. If I am talking to a person whose religious affiliation I do not know, I will employ the more general greeting. And the same goes for merchants who have advertised goods to Americans of many religious traditions who may or may not celebrate Christmas."

Extremist Example:

According to Bill O'Reilly, the true meaning of Christmas depends on using colored lights instead of white lights.

Think I'm kidding? Watch the video.

So what's an atheist "Good will toward everybody" type to do? Align him/herself with the moderates?

According to The New Humanist, that's exactly what we should do:

After the most recent attempted suicide bombings in Britain, national newspapers carried a full-page advertisement by Muslim organisations condemning the bombings and dissociating themselves from them. What are we supposed to say? “You’re just as bad”? That would be madness. They need our encouragement, and we need their help.

We have problems enough in the world. The threats of climate change, global poverty, war and repression and intolerance can never be countered unless we are prepared to work together on the basis of a shared humanity.

Hm. So atheists and the "I don't give a fat figgy pudding" set are supposed to fight extremists along with those who hate both gays and O'Reilly equally? With those who want judges to control a woman's reproductive system? With those who would call you un-American because you would defend the US Constitution to the death but would deny them their 10 commandments monuments displayed on public property?

Looks like a slippery "we'll deal with you after we've finished dealing with them" slope to me.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and ponder your answer to this all-important question:

At which end should the faithful break their eggs: at the big end or at the little end?

Just think about it before you answer.

I mean it, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Saturday Silliness

Yes, there's a ton of BushCo crap to blog about today, but I've decided to post some totally inane celeb snark and other silliness on Saturdays... Unless, of course, something socially meaningful strikes my future Saturday fancy.

Today's silliness comes from City Rag's treatment of celebs who look like... Well, look for yourself:

Christina Ricci

Paris Hilton

Britney Spears

Hey, if you can't be silly on Saturdays, you might as well hang it up.

Right, Maxine?

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, November 09, 2007

FEMA's Nürnberg Defense & The WaPo's Page A-19 Coverage

"I was just following orders" isn't just for Nazis anymore.

FEMA Press Secretary Directed Fake News Briefing, Inquiry Finds

By Spencer S. Hsu
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, November 9, 2007; Page A19

An internal investigation into a fake news conference staged by the Federal Emergency Management Agency during last month's California wildfires found that the agency's press secretary directed aides to pose as reporters, secretly coached them during the briefing and ended the event after a final, scripted question was asked, according to a senior FEMA official.

Wow! That's an important story, WaPo!

And there's more...

"Those are career people. They should have stepped up and said something, they really should have. But their bosses said 'Do this,' and they did it -- some reluctantly, but there's no excuses for that," (David) Paulison said. He called the impact on FEMA's credibility "devastating."


The review "found nothing that indicated malicious or preconceived intent to deceive the media or the public," said FEMA's acting director of external affairs, Russ Knocke, who conducted the inquiry.

FEMA perpetrates a big ol' whammy, and...

Page A-19, WaPo?


Fireside chat radio listeners were better informed than your readers.

Truly heavy sigh.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Ernie Fletcher's "God & Flag" Display Hysterically Inaccurate

File this under: Idiots (R- Kentucky)
cc: You Can't make this stuff up

Ky. Capitol displays not historically accurate

The "Star Spangled Banner," according to one framed account, was a rallying cry 33 years before it was written. And the U.S. motto, "In God We Trust," was adopted on two separate days in July 1956.

And this judge is an idiot, too...

A federal judge's Monday ruling allowed the display, saying a previous injunction prohibiting a granite Ten Commandments monument on Capitol grounds did not apply. The new display of framed documents in the Capitol is identical to existing displays in Mercer and Rowan county courthouses.

The biggest idiot of all...

It was donated to the state last month by the Rev. Herschel Walker, pastor of Hopewell Baptist Church in Corbin.

Reached by telephone Wednesday, Walker did not have an immediate response about the inaccuracy. Earlier this week he said the display was meant as a tool for teaching children civic literacy.

Now, those pesky little things called facts:

One plaque, about the national anthem, reads: "Both the new song and the flag became known as 'The Star Spangled Banner' and became a rallying cry for the American patriots during the Revolutionary War."

But Francis Scott Key didn't write "The Star-Spangled Banner" until 1814 after a battle at Maryland's Fort McHenry, and the American Revolution ended in 1781.


A document regarding the adoption of "In God We Trust" as the national motto was also inaccurate, claiming Congress adopted it on both July 20 and July 30, 1956. The latter is correct.

And here's the most hysterical part:

A Fletcher spokeswoman, Jodi Whitaker, said the administration was "not aware of any inaccuracies."

Shoddy research?

You bet.

Chances are, the Baptists who created this hysterical display googled "Star Spangled Banner" and found this:

The STARS AND STRIPES sustained our young nation through its five-year battle for independence. From 1781 to the ratification of our Constitution in 1788, this same flag was the one symbol of unity that bound together political leaders of persuasions so different that their philosophies threatened to be more dangerous to the survival of the Republic than the British armies. The flag embodied both prevailing thoughts on the design of the new country. The distinct representation of individual States by their own star in the field of blue attested to the the individuality of each. The Federalists approach was represented in the fact that these 13 individual states had representation in a single flag, uniting them all.

The Federalists, of course! Stars & Stripes. Star Spangled Banner. They both begin with Star, don't they? What's the difference?


By the way, this guy doesn't appreciate being stuck in the middle of such an embarrassing display...

Oh, wait. That's not Lincoln.

That's Stephen Colbert.

Wouldn't an error like that make a Federalist's head explode?

You bet.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

"Critter Sizing" The President

Those "Dancing With The Stars" viewers write the darndest things...



And buck up, little freeper! Here's your precious president...

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Pat Boone Fails & No One Will Claim Involvement With Him

Poor old Pat. His anti-gay robo-calls on behalf of Ernie Fletcher failed miserably. And no one will claim responsibility for Pat's... um, campaign gesture.

Kentucky: The biggest news of the night was in the Bluegrass State where former Lt. Gov. Steve Beshear (D) crushed Gov. Ernie Fletcher (R) 59 percent to 41 percent. Fletcher had long been seen as a dead man walking politically; ethics problems in his first four years in office had badly hamstrung his reelection chances. Beshear restores Democratic control to the Kentucky governorship, an office that the party has held for all but four years since 1967. Elsewhere on the ballot, state Auditor Crit Luallen (D) was reelected with 59 percent, a margin sure to stoke speculation of a challenge to Sen. Mitch McConnell (R) in 2008.

And in Virginia...

Virginia: Republicans appear to have lost control of the state Senate, as at least three Republican incumbents and a GOP-held open seat have gone to Democrats. The race we were watching most closely -- the 34th district battle between state Sen. Jeannemarie Devolites Davis (R) and Chap Peterson (D) -- turned into a rout, with the Democrat unseating the incumbent 56 percent to 44 percent. Democrats' gains are yet more evidence of the rapidly shifting demographics in the Commonwealth. Sen. Mark Warner (D) anyone?

Interesting... US Rep Tom Davis' wife LOST to a Dem in Virginia.

Also interesting... Mitch McConnell (R- Kentucky) looks extremely vulnerable.

As for how Pat Boone's total failure must feel, I'm...

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Can Pat Boone Save Ernie Fletcher?

Disclaimer: At age 5, my first TV celeb crush was... yep, you guessed it... Pat Boone, the star of The Pat Boone-Chevy Showroom. Later down the road, I completely forgot about Pat Boone until that whole baptizing people in swimming pools deal. That embarrassing episode soured my opinion of Boone forever.

Imagine my lack of surprise to read that Pat Boone has recorded a robo-call election message, in a last-minute effort to persuade today's Kentucky voters not to embrace a "San Francisco" future for the state.

You know about Republican codespeak, right?

San Francisco- gay

New York- Jew

Diversity- black, brown & yellow people want rights (How dare they?)

But I digress...

Going into the home stretch in in the Kentucky gubernatorial election, the Republicans appear to have brought out one last card: Paranoia against gays.

The state GOP is now sending a robo-call throughout the state featuring none other than Pat Boone, warning that as a Christian he is concerned that Democratic nominee Steve Beshear, who has been way ahead in the polls, will work for "every homosexual cause."

"Now do you want a governor who'd like Kentucky to be another San Francisco?" Boone asks. "Please re-elect Ernie Fletcher."

And at a campaign stop last night, the Lexington Herald-Leader reports, the Republican nominee for Lt. Governor made a direct attack upon the Democratic ticket: "Do you want a couple of San Francisco treats or do you want a governor?"

According to SurveyUSA's Nov. 5th poll...

Beshear (D) 59%
Fletcher (R) 39%

Hey, Pat. You're just another last-minute tutti fruitti (trans. "tool") to hardcore wingnuts.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, November 05, 2007

Torture Didn't Even Work On Guy Fawkes

Cop a clue, torture lovers.

Funny thing about torture...

When James I issued the order to torture Guy Fawkes, Fawkes only gave up the names of conspirators who were either already dead or already known to authorities.

Another clue for the clueless: Who's remembered and celebrated on this day? The torturers or the tortured?

Remember Remember the 5th of November,
The Gunpowder Treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason,
Should ever be forgot.

Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, twas his intent,
To blow up the King and parliament,
Three score barrels were laid below,
To prove old Englands' overthrow
By Gods mercy he was catched,
With a dark lantern and a lighted match!

Holla Boyes, Holla Boyes,
Let the bells Ring!
Holla Boyes, Holla Boyes,
Hip, Hip, Hip, Hooray!

A penny loaf to feed old Pope,
A farthing cheese to choke him,
A pint of beer to rinse it down,
A faggot of sticks to burn him.

Burn him in a tub of tar,
Burn him like a blazing star,
Burn his body from his head,
Then we'll say old Pope is dead!


Yeah, that was then (1605).

Today would be a good day to watch V For Vendetta...

And remember.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, November 04, 2007

An Inconvenient... um, Norway

For every rule, there's an exception.

Unless you're a fundie minister, that is.

How many times have you heard one of these nutjobs claim that floods, fires, and earthquakes are God's punishment for societal problems?

And secularization... well, that's just the worst thing that could happen to a country, now isn't it?

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today, knowing that tithing and religious "education" make the fundie world go 'round.

And that inconveniences like Norway are no match for those who would slap you in the face with the fear of a wrathful God.

Think about it.

I mean it, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, November 03, 2007

FOX "News" Nutbag: Barbara Eden Ruined Halloween!"

According to FOX, it's Barbara Eden's fault that women now wear "slutty" Halloween outfits?

Wow! What a slut! Not.

Here's the quote:

“Here’s the problem, though. In 1970 or ‘68, Barbara Eden lowered the bar by wearing that sexy outfit, traumatized me as a child, and then every kid wore the Barbara Eden outfit…”

Gee, you couldn't even see her naval.

If this is a "slut," who "traumatized" him as a child...

Then Brian Kilmeade (that FOX nutbag) is way too susceptible to be allowed out without a leash.

Obviously, he was "traumatized" by the idea that a woman (especially a fictional one with magical powers) could control him. Since Kilmeade wasn't even born until 1964, the costume had absolutely nothing to do with his fear of Jeannie... until he hit puberty, that is.

Who's next on your list of scary "slutty" women, Nutbag?

Good grief, Kilmeade.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, November 02, 2007

How Many Have To Die For Curveball's Green Card?

Look, we all know that Judith Miller's super secret source for her bogus Saddam/WMD stories, "Curveball," was lying.

No biggie there.

But CBS' Bob Simon has finally found "Curveball," who lives in Germany.

Curve Ball is an Iraqi defector named Rafid Ahmed Alwan, who arrived at a German refugee center in 1999. To bolster his asylum case and increase his importance, he told officials he was a star chemical engineer who had been in charge of a facility at Djerf al Nadaf that was making mobile biological weapons.

60 Minutes has learned that Alwan’s university records indicate he did study chemical engineering but earned nearly all low marks, mostly 50s. Simon’s investigation also uncovered an arrest warrant for theft from the Babel television production company in Baghdad where he once worked.

The sickest, most twisted part of this whole bloody mess?

Why did he do it?

"It was a guy trying to get his green card essentially, in Germany, and playing the system for what it was worth," says (CIA Senior Official, Tyler) Drumheller.

Oh, by the way...

Curveball was fired from his low-level engineering job in 1995, and his brother was one of Chalabi's bodyguards.

Heaviest of sighs.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Minimal Damage, My Ass!

Black sequins and red stockings? Hm. There's more to this Curtis "I'm not gay! I'm a Republican" story than we thought early this morning.

The police report has been leaked, and it's nothing like the tall tale Curtis and his GOP handlers are telling.

Read the police report. You knew they were all lying, didn't you? They always do.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Have GOP Leaders Finally Reached Hypocritical Mass?

It's getting to be almost a weekly event with these Republican "family values" hypocrites.

But never fear!
GOPers aren't worried...

Curtis fallout minimal, GOP leaders say

Washington Republicans moved swiftly to cut off the scandal involving Rep. Richard Curtis of La Center, removing his name from the House GOP Web site within hours of his announced resignation.

A spokesman for the state Republican Party said Curtis’s political career was over, but discounted any long-term political effect for other party members. Curtis’ decision to resign stands in contrast to that of U.S. Sen. Larry Craig of Idaho, who announced plans to resign then changed his mind as he tries to withdraw a conviction for soliciting sex in an airport restroom, Josh Kahn said.

My favorite part...

“It’s not going to be in the public mind for long,” Kahn said. The Craig situation is “a textbook case of the thing you don’t do, you don’t drag it out.”

And just how do GOP leaders plan to control the public mind?

Sorry, GOPers!

It's too late for you to control anything or anyone. Looks like you've finally reached hypocritical mass.

When you start losing your loony "values voters" (who are actually just like everyone else, except for their own personal hypocritical crap), you're really in the weeds, aren't you?

You've trained them to react in swift Pavlovian style to any and all accusations of gay behavior, and now you're reaping the rewards of that vile, hateful reaction response. To which I say...

Bite me.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--