Monday, January 31, 2005

History: Wash; Rinse; Repeat!

Shiites Iraqis voted yesterday in a "free and fair election."

Shiites Iraqis voted yesterday, despite "deadly attacks."

Shiites Iraqis voted yesterday, with a "record turnout" of 72% "over 50%," but an "accurate vote count won't be available for at least 10 days."

Shiites Iraqis voted yesterday.

But why yesterday?

Why January 30th?

Jan 30 1649

Oliver Cromwell beheads the British monarch
King Charles I, at Whitehall.

Jan 30 1835

Andrew Jackson is the subject of the first
recorded assassination attempt on a U.S. president.
After a man fires shots at him, Jackson beats
the shit out of his would-be assassin.

Jan 30 1945

The largest maritime disaster in history leaves
7700 dead after a Soviet submarine torpedoes
the Nazi ship Wilhelm Gustoff.

Jan 30 1948

Mohandas K. Gandhi assassinated by
Hindu extremist Nathuram Godse.

Jan 30 1962

Two of the Flying Wallendas die
when their human pyramid of seven
people collapses in Detroit.

Jan 30 1968

North Vietnam launches the Tet Offensive,
in which they suffer a defeat and 46,000 dead.
The Tet Offensive shocks complacent American television viewers
who have been led to believe by the Johnson administration
that the war has already been won.


Flashback to the 60's: A Sinking Sensation of Parallels Between Iraq and Vietnam


Published: January 29, 2005

WASHINGTON, Jan. 28 - Not quite 38 years ago, enmeshed in a drawn-out war whose ultimate outcome was deeply in doubt, Lyndon B. Johnson met on Guam with the fractious generals who were contending for leadership of South Vietnam and told them: "My birthday is in late August. The greatest birthday present you could give me is a national election." LINK

And then there was this...

U.S. Encouraged by Vietnam Vote: Officials Cite 83% Turnout Despite Vietcong Terror

by Peter Grose, Special to the New York Times

WASHINGTON, Sept. 3-- United States officials were surprised and heartened today at the size of turnout in South Vietnam's presidential election despite a Vietcong terrorist campaign to disrupt the voting.

According to reports from Saigon, 83 per cent of the 5.85 million registered voters cast their ballots yesterday. Many of them risked reprisals threatened by the Vietcong.

The size of the popular vote and the inability of the Vietcong to destroy the election machinery were the two salient facts in a preliminary assessment of the nation election based on the incomplete returns reaching here.


A successful election has long been seen as the keystone in President Johnson's policy of encouraging the growth of constitutional processes in South Vietnam. The election was the culmination of a constitutional development that began in January, 1966, to which President Johnson gave his personal commitment when he met Premier Ky and General Thieu, the chief of state, in Honolulu in February.

Significance Not Diminished

The fact that the backing of the electorate has gone to the generals who have been ruling South Vietnam for the last two years does not, in the Administration's view, diminish the significance of the constitutional step that has been taken.


Captured documents and interrogations indicated in the last week a serious concern among Vietcong leaders that a major effort would be required to render the election meaningless. This effort has not succeeded, judging from the reports from Saigon. LINK (Paid Subscription Required)

Jan 30 1972

British troops kill 13 unarmed marchers in Londonderry,
Northern Ireland. This incident becomes known as
"Bloody Sunday" and marks the beginning of
a new extended round of violence.

Jan 30 1973

G. Gordon Liddy found guilty
of Watergate charges.

Jan 30 1976

George HW Bush becomes director of the
Central Intelligence Agency, a position which
he holds until 1977.

Jan 30 2005

Dick Cheney celebrates his 64th birthday.
Shiites Iraqis vote in a "free and fair" election.

Pay no attention to The Dick behind the curtain.

His birthday wish came true yesterday.


Johnson and The Dick both got what they wished for.

I remember someone else with a birthday wish...

Stalin agrees in June 1941, to invalidate
the Soviet-German partition of Poland. ...
gives instructions for Warsaw to be
"Jew free" by Hitler's birthday.

Heavy, heavy sigh.

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Today's Sermon: Satan's Evil Kittens!

Beware The Cat!

The Devil's Playmate?

Yes, dear readers, your cats are EeeeeeeViiiiiiL...

Are cats for true Christians?
Is it appropriate for a Christian to own a cat, in light of their past pagan religious affiliation and the medical information that is now coming to light? -J.R., U.S.A.

Note the inclusion of the term medical information that is now coming to light.

Why did "J.R., U.S.A." have to add that little gem to his/her question?

I'm glad you asked.

By couching The Case Against Cats, innocent-sounding J.R. is purposely trying to sound innocent and concerned for all mankind.

What a crock!

Here's the answer to J.R.'s Oh, So Innocent & Concerned question:

Many conscientious ones among Jehovah's people today have wondered if Christians should own cats in view of their somewhat sordid symbolic history and the many health risks associated therewith. While we would not wish to state an opinion on what must remain a matter of personal preference, what is acceptable to one person may, although unintentionally, stumble another. This can become a life-or-death issue since to move the steps of a brother away from the path of Christ's ransom sacrifice is tantamount to 'putting a millstone around the neck and being thrown into the sea.' -Matt. 18:6. Clearly, in a matter where our eternal salvation is involved, the mature Christian will not pursue a purely selfish course based on his own personal choices, but will adopt a congregational viewpoint as scripturally prescribed.

Notice that medical information got turned into many health risks?

Of course, there's much more...

A faithful servant of Jehovah would quickly notice that the nature of a cat is so marked as being 'beastly'. The Bible makes clear reference to this condition when describing parts of Satan's organizations, both past and present. For instance, consider the fearsome 'beasts' as described in the book of Daniel or the 'scarlet colored wild beast' in Rev. 17:3.

So here's the deal...

Even if you like cats, the Bible says they're card carrying members of Satan, Inc.; therefore, you have to adopt a congregational viewpoint as scripturally prescribed in order to get a Good Christian Gold Star.

But it gets even weirder, folks!

Clearly, the Bible - by using this kind of terminology - shows beyond any reasonable doubt that the basic nature of cats, while created perfect by God, has become evil or 'beastlike' since the fall of Adam six thousand years ago, and more probably, since the Great Flood of Noah's time (c2350 B.C.E.). This is a development of the condition borne by the 'Original Serpent', the 'Great Dragon' Lucifer himself. (Gen. 3:1) Indeed, modern studies of classification of cats, while not necessarily being reliable as they may be based on the discredited 'theory' of evolution, strongly associate felines with serpents (despite some external differences in physiology and morphology, which confuse those who do not study these matters deeply).


I just spewed coffee all over my keyboard!

And there you have it.

The discredited theory of evolution.

Discredited by whom?

By pig ignorant Fascist Fundies desperate to keep you from tasting the fruit of the tree of knowledge?


In other words, the highly educated among us are out to fool you into believing that cats aren't actually dragons and other serpents in disguise.

Hey, Fundies!

Here's The Cat/Dragon/Serpent/Demon response to your pig ignorance:

Here are a few more highlights from the ridiculous answer to J.R.'s question:

It was a common practice in ancient Egypt to worship or idolize cats as 'gods'.

'Abstain from sacrifices to idols'. We are to 'guard ourselves from idols' and 'worship no other gods'. Such feline influence could lead to idolatry and thereby 'grieve Jehovah's Spirit' with tragic consequences.

The Bible does not say that cats were not present at Herod's birthday party when John the Baptist was beheaded. History shows that cats were most likely present at this tragic party that Jehovah did not approve of. Clearly then, as loyal Christians, why would we even want to associate with animals that are without a doubt of such bad influence, remembering how true are the Bible's words: 'Bad associations spoil useful habits'! -1 Cor. 15:33.

Throughout history, particularly in the middle ages and reaching its climax in the Salem Witch trials of the seventeenth century, cats were recognized by the forces of Christendom as familiars and carriers if not direct incarnates of demons.

The demeanor of a cat is seen by many honest-hearted observers as reflecting some supernatural, unnatural proclivity towards malice or evil.

The scriptures clearly indicate that neither Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, faithful Job, the Apostles, Jesus nor any other human bearing God's favor himself owned a cat. Should we simply assume that this is a mere coincidence? Surely not!

Contrary to popular beliefs among worldly people, cats are unhygienic animals. Recently the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) announced that 'Cats .. can shed Salmonella in their feces, which can spread the bacterial infection to humans'.

Here's the Pay No Attention To Your Own Human Biological Functions part, which would be hilarious, were these Fascist Fundie Freaks not so dangerous to society...

Additionally, cats practice many unclean habits not befitting a Christian household: coughing up fur balls, licking inappropriate body areas on their own bodies (inappropriate handling) and even, in some cases, on the bodies of their human owners (wrongful motive?), urination on the floor, vocal and blatant promiscuity (unknown to any other species, all others being endowed with Godly chastity and decorum) and widespread sexual misconduct without the benefit or sanctity of holy matrimony, even orgiastic practices, substance abuse of catnip (an intoxicating herb) which produces conditions akin to drunkenness, stealing food from the table, producing ungodly sounds, excessive playfulness and the employment of devices not known to have been used by Jesus, the conducting of its unholy business under the cover of the darkness of night, and so on.

Ah Ha!

The abuse of catnip? We all know where that must surely lead!

But wait!

Here's my favorite part...

It must not be forgotten that the feline is a killer. It eats mice and their kind, which is forbidden to Christians and their pets (Lev. 11:29, Isa. 66:17).


But for cats controlling the rat population, The Black Plague could have turned into an Extinction level Event.

By the 17th century, the cat once again gained favour by virtually saving Europe from the ravages of the great plague by controlling the rat population. In 1822 the first anti-cruelty law to protect animals was passed in Britain.

But What do Jehovah's Witnesses want you to do with your cats?

How To Dispose Of Your Unchristian Cat:

The question of how to dispose of one's unwanted cat is a serious matter. Would it be proper to hand over such a creature of Satan to a person of the world? We see no immediate problem with this, as such a person is already immersed in the wicked ways of this system of things, and so a beastly companion would be a fitting one indeed.

Let me get this straight...

Good Christians should give their cats to those who are already doomed to the fires of woe because these people aren't worth saving, anyway?


But what's a True Jehovah's Witness to do?

The mature follower of Jehovah will do well to be reminded of God's advice in page 503 of The Watchtower of November 15, 1952 where it was held that 'In the case where a father or mother or son or daughter is disfellowshiped, how should such person be treated by members of the family in their family relationship? .. We are not living today among theocratic nations where such members of our fleshly family relationship could be
exterminated for apostasy from God and his theocratic organization, as was possible and was ordered in the nation of Israel in the wilderness of Sinai and in the land of Palestine. LINK

How pitiful!

Kill The Kittens And Unruly Children For Christ because the Bible DOESN'T SAY that cats weren't at Herod's Birthday party and because the Bible DOESN'T SAY that Jesus owned a cat?

Not my cat, you Fascist Fundie Freaks!

The Bible DOESN'T SAY there was air conditioning in the temple, either.

Yet, Fascist Fundie churches condone this unholy condition when they can afford it.

Heavy sigh.

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go Forth And Protect All Creatures Great And Small.

Bless The Beasts And The Children.

Because Caesar is not likely to grant you a permit for stoning kittens to death in the public square.

And these freaky Jehovah's Witnesses are making Caesar look damned good to me today.

By the way...

If you AREN'T dying from the plague today, thank a cat!

And I mean it, damn it!

Friday, January 28, 2005

The Dick Does Auschwitz

How would you dress if your were invited to represent The United States Of America at the
solemn 60th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz?

Keep in mind that the survivors in that Daily Mail photo owned nothing but the thin cotton prison uniforms (represented by the caps in the photo) and the wooden clogs they were wearing when they were liberated by the Russians on that brutally cold Winter day 60 years ago.


They survived the harsh weather wearing cotton.

They survived humiliation and disease and famine and brutality and unimaginable heartbreak.

They survived the systematic eradication of millions and millions...

They survived.

Flash forward to the 60th observance of the liberation of Auschwitz.

Cue The Dick.

The Dick, fashion guru that he... isn't, chose a casual ski parka with a roadkill hood to frame his face, a STAFF 2001 beanie, and hiking boots for the occasion.

No, this story is NOT from The Onion!

Don't believe me?

Which one of these is not like the others?

Here's the story...

Dick Cheney, Dressing Down

Parka, Ski Cap at Odds With Solemnity of Auschwitz Ceremony

By Robin Givhan
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, January 28, 2005; Page C01

At yesterday's gathering of world leaders in southern Poland to mark the 60th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz, the United States was represented by Vice President Cheney. The ceremony at the Nazi death camp was outdoors, so those in attendance, such as French President Jacques Chirac and Russian President Vladimir Putin, were wearing dark, formal overcoats and dress shoes or boots. Because it was cold and snowing, they were also wearing gentlemen's hats. In short, they were dressed for the inclement weather as well as the sobriety and dignity of the event.

The vice president, however, was dressed in the kind of attire one typically wears to operate a snow blower.

Cheney stood out in a sea of black-coated world leaders because he was wearing an olive drab parka with a fur-trimmed hood. It is embroidered with his name. It reminded one of the way in which children's clothes are inscribed with their names before they are sent away to camp. And indeed, the vice president looked like an awkward boy amid the well-dressed adults.

Like other attendees, the vice president was wearing a hat. But it was not a fedora or a Stetson or a fur hat or any kind of hat that one might wear to a memorial service as the representative of one's country. Instead, it was a knit ski cap, embroidered with the words "Staff 2001." It was the kind of hat a conventioneer might find in a goodie bag.

It is also worth mentioning that Cheney was wearing hiking boots -- thick, brown, lace-up ones. Did he think he was going to have to hike the 44 miles from Krakow -- where he had made remarks earlier in the day -- to Auschwitz?


Just last week, in a frigid, snow-dusted Washington, Cheney sat outside through the entire inauguration without so much as a hat and without suffering frostbite. And clearly, Cheney owns a proper overcoat. The world saw it during his swearing-in as vice president. Cheney treated that ceremony with the dignity it deserved -- not simply through his demeanor, but also through his attire. Would he have dared to take the oath of office with a ski cap on? People would have justifiably considered that an insult to the office, the day, the country.

And here's that proper overcoat...

When it's all about The Dick,
The Dick dresses for the occasion.

There is little doubt that intellectually Cheney approached the Auschwitz ceremony with thoughtfulness and respect.

Hold on, there, Robin!

Thoughtfulness and respect?


Didn't look like thoughtfulness and respect to me.

The Dick, lost in thought.

But symbolism is powerful. That's why the piercing cry of a train whistle marked the beginning of the ceremony and the glare of searchlights signaled its end. The vice president might have been warm in his parka, ski cap and hiking boots. But they had the unfortunate effect of suggesting that he was more concerned with his own comfort than the reason for braving the cold at all. LINK

I heard recently that The Dick lost an uncle at Auschwitz...

He fell out of a guard tower.

This Week's
Of The
Bell Curve


Because Someone Has To Say it...

Mr. & Mrs. Cable News Watcher
And Family

Four Bush Administration Paid Journalists/Pundits have been exposed so far...

Armstrong Williams

Maggie Gallagher

Michael McManus
Jeff Gannon

Where's the outrage, Mr. & Mrs. Cable News Watcher?

Taxpayers (That's you!) are funding BushCo's Personal Propaganda Machine.


You're about to pay more for inferior health care plans, in order to keep corporate profits at an all-time high.

The promised increase in Pell Grants will be much smaller than you planned for.

Real Estate interest rates are rising, which means that that balloon mortgage you got 'cause George W. wants you to join the Ownership Club might've been a mistake.

A big one.


Foreclosures are also at an all-time high.

After School programs have been slashed, which will lead to more kids in trouble.

Just what we need.

But Mr. & Mrs. Cable News Watcher are Oh, So Pleased that so many wonderful pundits want to preserve hetero marriage, even though Mr. & Mrs. CNW have three marriages between them, and this one might not last.

They're also pleased that Nickelby (NCLB) will guarantee their children top honors in a charter school of their choice (or personal design), funded by sucking the life out of the local public school system.

Never mind that the public school kid at the check out counter can't make change and has to ask for the manager's help, which wastes your time on a daily basis and will cause your blood pressure to climb (see health care costs above).

And when YOUR children flunk out of college, remember to blame those liberal professors!

And isn't it wonderful that George W. wants his administration to stop paying journalists to promote his agenda because he's Oh, So Honest?

Help me, Rhonda!

Stupid is as stupid does, folks!

Believing George W. because his paid journalists/pundits tell you too is just plain pig ignorant.

Turn off the Cable News!

Brush up on Plato and Critical Thinking!

Social Intelligence is much more important in life than answering trivia questions on an IQ test!

A wise prophet once said (to paraphrase): What shall it benefit a man if he gains all the wealth in the world and lose his soul as it becomes a hell-hole of money-obsession, banality, and ignorance? In other words, you can be ludicrously wealthy and still be stupid enough to destroy yourself. And in including social responsibility in our definition of social intelligence we can update that same sentiment: What shall it benefit late twentieth century American people if they gain all the money in the world and lose their country as it becomes a hell-hole of obscene wealth for the upper class, wage slavery for the middle class, homelessness and grinding poverty for the lower class, and banality and ignorance for everyone? LINK

Ponderously heavy sigh.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Be Afraid!
Social Security Will Be

... By 1988!

Yep. That's what George W. said...

In 1978.

A Shrub Grows in Midland


They keep getting shorter. Prescott Bush, the investment banker and senator from Connecticut, was 6’4" and aristocratic looking. His son, President George H.W. Bush, grew to a handsome 6’2". The man they once called Junior, who currently serves as governor of Texas, is barely six feet, and cute.


According to Gary Ott, who was then a reporter for the Plainview Daily Herald, Bush stopped by the paper’s little office "maybe five or six times. He’d sit down at my desk; he was a fun guy. He was very outgoing, very friendly, and we would argue politics since I was a liberal. We’d argue over Carter policies." Bush criticized energy policy, federal land use policy, subsidized housing, and the Occupational Safety and Health Administration ("a misuse of power," he said), and he warned that Social Security would go bust in ten years unless people were given a chance to invest the money themselves. None of this really distinguished him from Hance, though, so in the end Bush simply argued that a Republican could better represent the district: "If you want a chance in the way Congress has been run, send someone who will be independent from those who will run the Congress." LINK

Smart one, ain't he?

"If you want a chance in the way Congress has been run, send someone who will be independent from those who will run the Congress."

Independent, my ass!

Yes, Cats & Kittens! When George W. ridiculed senior citizens during yesterday's Lost In Space Press Conference, he was merely regurgitating a 1978 talking point from his failed congressional election bid.

If you just ate, reading the transcript might be better for your health.

Spewing Republican lies about Social Security (or any other Democratic Party program) is nothing new.

Dismantling The Great Society and The New Deal have long been major Republican goals.

Be afraid.

Calling it personal accounts or privatization doesn't make a damned bit of difference!

It's still the spiel of the Indulgence Seller and the Snake Oil Salesman, designed to separate you from your money.

Will it work?

19th Century
Snake Oil Salesmen
(Oklahoma Territory)

If Americans are as pig ignorant and as downright mean as George W., the answer is yes.

Alas, it's not even comforting knowing that Indulgence Sellers and Snake Oil Salesmen are condemned to an eternity of mastication inside the Mouth Of Hell...

Hell's Eternal Lunch Break

Heavy sigh.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

George W.'s Lost In Space
Press Conference Transcript

Here's a choice tidbit to chew on...

Q I seem to remember a time in Texas on another problem, taxes, where you tried to get out in front and tell people it's not a crisis now, it's going to be a crisis down the line -- you went down in flames on that one. Why --

THE PRESIDENT: Actually, I -- if I might. (Laughter.) I don't think a billion-dollar tax relief that permanently reduced property taxes on senior citizens was "flames," but since you weren't a senior citizen, perhaps that's your definition of "flames."

Q I never got my billion --

THE PRESIDENT: Yes. Because you're not a senior citizen yet. Acting like one, however. Go ahead. (Laughter.)

Q What is there about government that makes it hard --

THE PRESIDENT: Faulty memory. (Laughter.)

Give That C-SPAN
Web Content Typist
A Cookie!

Lost In Space?

Danger, Will Robinson!
is more accurate, but damn that was funny!

Whoever accidentally typed that little gem deserves a cookie!

In case you missed George W.'s Lost In Space Press Conference, I'll post the transcript later today (if The Ministry Of Truth allows its public release).

Lost In Space!

What a hoot!

Recipe For Disaster:
Rice Dish Missing
Key Ingredient

Back in the day, my mother would complain bitterly (in private) about obvious missing ingredients in the recipes shared by the Good Christian Women in her women's club.

Leaving out a key ingredient almost always guaranteed the Keeper Of The Original Recipe's stellar culinary reputation.


I have vivid memories of those women's club luncheons...

Especially the times my mother apologized matter-of-factly for her inferior rendition of Mrs. Good Christian Woman's recipe by wondering aloud if she, herself, had accidentally left out a key ingredient.

Each time this happened, every Maybelline/Mary Kaye eye would, of course, turn to the Keeper Of The Original Recipe, and everyone in attendance would compare their own recipe rendition experiences, knowing all the while that something had been omitted intentionally.

9 times out of 10, when put on the spot, the KOTOR (Keeper Of The Original Recipe) would suddenly realize that she had accidentally omitted a key ingredient and apologize profusely.

Then everyone would enjoy lime sherbet and cake served on glass dessert dishes.

Which brings us to Secretary Of State candidate Condoleezza Rice's US Senate confirmation hearings...

Look closely. Something's missing.

Still trying to figure out the missing ingredient?
Keep looking.

Still not sure what's missing?
The Dem Senate Seven showed you this week.

7 Senate Democrats took a stand for all Americans this week by exposing the missing key ingredient necessary for every successful US Secretary Of State...

The Rice Dish's Missing Key Ingredient

Senate Republicans and Dem ostriches (Lieberman et al) know what's missing from Condoleezza Rice's character recipe.

They just hope that you haven't noticed.

And they hope that, even if you've noticed the missing ingredient, you're too timid to address the matter in public.

That's how they cook.

And that's a recipe for disaster.

Heavy sigh.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

A Day Late And A Blog Topic Short

Most mornings, something blogworthy jumps off the webpage at me, screaming to be lamented.

For whatever reason, I just can't get excited about any particular headlines or discussion thread.

I read yesterday that Jan. 24th is the most depressing day of the year.

The formula for the day of misery reads 1/8W+(D-d) 3/8xTQ MxNA.

Where W is weather, D is debt - minus the money (d) due on January's pay day - and T is the time since Christmas.

Q is the period since the failure to quit a bad habit, M stands for general motivational levels and NA is the need to take action and do something about it.

Maybe I'm a just a day late.

What's really sad is that W and M are the only variables applicable in my life right now. (I sort of hibernate between January and March.)

Of course, the news doesn't help one's mood...

Army Closed Many Abuse Cases Early

Army personnel have admitted to beating or threatening to kill Iraqi detainees and stealing money from Iraqi civilians but have not been charged with criminal conduct, according to newly released Army documents.

Only a handful of the 54 investigations of alleged detainee abuse and other illicit activities detailed in the documents led to recommended penalties as severe as a court-martial or discharge from military service. Most led to administrative fines or simply withered because investigators could not find victims or evidence.

The documents, which date from mid-2003 to mid-2004 and were obtained by five nongovernmental organizations through a joint lawsuit, suggest that the pursuit of military justice in Iraq has been hampered by the investigators' closure of many cases without reaching a determination of likely innocence or guilt. LINK

Sy Hersch is never wrong.

Secret Pentagon spies confirmed

Rumsfeld wants improved intelligence

Senior officials in the US Defense Department have confirmed reports that the Pentagon ran a secret unit to help gather human intelligence.

The Washington Post first revealed on Sunday that the Strategic Support Branch (SSB) was set up on the orders of Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.

The Pentagon was re-interpreting US law and trying to bypass the CIA, it said.

But the department denies bending laws, saying the group was set up to provide better support for military forces.

It was in regular touch with the CIA and Congress over its plans, officials say. LINK

Do you know where your tax money goes?

Total Federal Funds (Outlays): $1,926 Billion

Physical Resources, $114B: Agriculture, Commerce, Energy, Interior Dept., Transportation, Environmental Protection, Army Corps Engineers, NSF, FCC, 25% Homeland Security

Grey Days & Fascist Fundies always get me down.

In case you were wondering, that much-touted Republican Rule Of Law meme only applies to Democrats.

Note that George W. swore to uphold the Constitution 3 days before he picked up the phone.

Fascist Fundies take time out of their
health clinic bombing/personal intimidation campaign
to do that arm-swaying prayer thing.

Bush phones in support for abortion protest

Change 'may still be some way away,' he tells marchers

The Associated Press
Updated: 4:29 p.m. ET Jan. 24, 2005

WASHINGTON - President Bush told abortion foes on Monday he shared their support for “a culture of life” and claimed progress in passing legislation to protect the vulnerable. LINK

This comes as no shock...

Government still stealing from Native Americans

Casino scandal just one on a long list

For the Los Angeles Times

On long winter nights beside the Knife and Little Big Horn rivers in Montana, tribal elders sit around story fires and tell their grandchildren legends to help them make sense of the world. It's a time-worn custom, as old as silence.

A black man, a white man and an Indian arrived at the Pearly Gates, begins one of their favorite tales. After welcoming them to heaven, St. Peter invites each man to choose the afterlife of his dreams. The black man asks for great music and lots of friends. St. Peter grants his wish and sends him on his way. Up steps the Indian, who asks for beautiful mountain streams, deep forests and plenty of food. "Say no more, chief," says St. Peter, sending him off. Last, he turns to the white man and asks, "What do you want heaven to look like?" And the white man says, "Where did that Indian go?"

Ever since Columbus waded ashore, say the elders beside the Knife and the Little Big Horn, white men in funny hats have been asking, "Where did that Indian go?" In this context, the latest scandal -involving Jack Abramoff and Michael Scanlon, the Republican operatives who allegedly fleeced six casino tribes out of $80 million by promising them, well, a little slice of heaven in Washington, D.C., is an old story come full circle.

Sure, editorial boards at The New York Times and The Washington Post, among others, are right to call for their heads. The practice of mocking tribal leaders as "morons"and "monkeys" while allegedly stealing them blind gives off a foul odor, even in the nation's capital. LINK

Adding insult to injury...

Clint Eastwood (Of Spaghetti Western Fame) obviously has enough clout to make people pretend they think he's talented.

And, yes, dear readers, Fahrenheit 9/11 wasn't nominated.

But I'm Pollyanna Glad that The Snuffing Of Jesus was (appropriately) nominated in the Smoke & Mirrors categories (cinematography and makeup)and the entirely predictable Ben-Hur-Set-The-Standard-For Jesus Music (original score) category.

By the way, if you haven't seen Supersize Me (nominated for Best Documentary), you should rent it today!

Morgan Spurlock has what Michael Moore used to have: anonymity.

My plan for today: start a new novel and take a nap.

Tomorrow is, according to Scarlett, another day.

Truly heavy sigh.

Monday, January 24, 2005

In Memoriam:
America's Most Loyal
Private Secretary

I remember Rose Mary Woods...

Loyal Nixon Secretary
Rose Mary Woods
Dead at 87

By Mark Williams Associated Press Writer
Published: Jan 23, 2005

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) - Rose Mary Woods, the devoted secretary to President Nixon who admitted to inadvertently erasing part of a crucial Watergate tape, has died. She was 87.

Woods died Saturday night at a nursing home in Alliance, Roger Ruzek, owner of a funeral home in Sebring, said Sunday. He did not know the cause of death.

The 18 1/2-minute gap in the tape of a June 20, 1972, conversation between Richard Nixon and chief of staff H.R. Haldeman was critical to the question of what Nixon knew about the break-in at Democratic headquarters in the Watergate complex three days earlier - and when he knew it.

Woods, who moved to Alliance in northeastern Ohio after leaving the disgraced president's staff in 1976, never talked much about her years with the only American president to resign the office.

But Nixon considered her a member of the family. He wrote in his memoirs that it was Woods he asked to inform first lady Pat Nixon and his daughters in 1974 that he had decided to resign on Aug. 9.

"My decision was irrevocable, and I asked her to suggest that we not talk about it anymore when I went over for dinner," Nixon said.

When the time came for the family to privately say goodbye to Nixon before he climbed aboard the helicopter headed for Air Force One, Woods stood by with Mrs. Nixon, daughters Tricia and Julie, and their husbands.

"Rose ... is as close to us as family," Nixon said.


"One of the reasons why Woods struck up such a good rapport with her boss was that their characters were similar. Disciplined in her emotions yet passionate in her convictions, Woods was intuitive, protective and obsessive about privacy."

Nixon defended his loyal employee when fingers pointed at Woods, who had spent weeks transcribing subpoenaed White House tapes.


Here's Richard Nixon's Oval Office tape recorder...

"I know I did not do it," Nixon said. "And I completely believe Rose when she says that she did not do it."

Here's Rose Mary's office tape recorder...

She denied she caused the full 18 1/2-minute gap, testifying later that she inadvertently erased four or five minutes. The phone rang while she was transcribing the tape, she said.

She accidentally hit the record button. A picture in which she demonstrated her action - stretching one foot forward while reaching back to get the phone - became one of the most famous images of the era.

Here's that famous picture...

Who erased the rest of the tape? No one knows.

Alexander Haig, who succeeded Haldeman as chief of staff, blamed the gap on "sinister forces." Experts later examined the tape and found as many as nine deliberate erasures. They said Woods could not have done the whole thing.

In an interview on the 25th anniversary of the 1972 break-in, Woods said she was rarely asked about Watergate anymore.

"Every once in a while I get notes and things from some of the people who were with us, but not much," she said.

"Everybody gets sort of separated." LINK

But not much?

So much for being "a part of the family."

We won't hear much about the passing of Rose Mary Woods from the mainstream media.

Fortunately for Watergate survivors, Johnny Carson had the good sense to pass over shortly after Rose Mary.

America's most loyal secretary can now be conveniently archived in Obit Land, and Nixonian thugs can breath a sigh of relief...

Once the Secret Service has determined that America's most loyal private secretary didn't leave a diary.

Don't you imagine that her home, family, bank, friends, and random acquaintances have been visted by the men in black since her passing?

I do.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Today's Sermon:
Beware The Born Again Child Actor!


I know several people who are honest worshipers of supreme beings: Christian, Sufi; Pagan; Wiccan. Many are (gasp!) Unitarians.

All are kind and good. These people walk the walk in their daily lives.

Their religious beliefs make them happy.

Happy people don't go around spewing fear and damnation.

Then, there are the Kirk Camerons of this world...

Today's Minister, Kirk Cameron (center)
poses with Satan's Hollywood Minions

After seven successful seasons on ABC, Growing Pains was canceled in April 1992. The cast members had their own growing pains. Gold nearly died from anorexia, and while Kerns played the perfect wife, she was dealing with a nasty divorce in real life. Cameron became a born-again Christian and was offended if there were sexual references in the scripts, while the actress who played the Seaver's nanny posed for Playboy.

What You Don't Know:

• At the age of 14, Kirk Cameron was receiving 10,000 letters a month.

The Growing Pains cast was not invited to Cameron's wedding; they read about it in the tabloids. LINK

Kirk Cameron now has this creepy website, The Way Of The Master, where he asks, "Are you a Christian?" before you even get to the really creepy Kirk Sermons, like this one:

Survival Requirements for a Christian in Hollywood - Part 1

I am often asked how I maintain my Christian convictions while working in Hollywood and if could offer any advice for aspiring Christian actors.

My personal experience has taught me that although Hollywood can be a very exciting place to be, it is full of trappings that can take any person of substance and deceive, discourage, and destroy them and their families (without the wisdom and power of Christ). The Bible tells us that Satan is the father of lies and the god of this world, and when you make a break for Hollywood, you're entering his turf. If you're a Christian out to utilize a Hollywood career to influence the world for Christ, you can bet Satan will fire his darts and attempt to take you down.

I have worked with many child actors. While some have fared alright, many of them are not doing well today. I have seen Hollywood destroy the youth and innocence of children and twist the minds of its hopeful victims by flattering them, and promising them fame and fortune. But in the end they are used up, tossed aside, and then left to fend for themselves in drug rehabs, clinics for eating disorders, and depression therapy sessions. Many parents are blinded to this trap because they see "golden opportunities" for their children, thinking of college education funds and "once in a lifetime opportunities." But it is true that not everything that sparkles is gold. Think of the tabloid tragedy stories you've read about so many child stars.

Adults are not immune to the trappings of Hollywood. Thousands come here every year looking for their big break. They are willing to work their fingers to the bone, use their bodies to get ahead, and even sell their souls to get their foot in the door. How many celebrities have named the name of Christ, and yet are walking billboards for sin. I can think of several.

My advice to anyone who is considering a career in Hollywood is to take a serious inventory of your motives for coming here. What it is you're really looking to accomplish? Are you sure God is leading you here or could it be the lure of the glamorous life? Are your dreams to come here to make much of Jesus Christ, or make much of yourself "for His sake?" How will you keep on the full armor of God when Hollywood requires you take off your clothes? How will you sleep with someone in the name of "artistic expression" and justify it to yourself, your family, and the Lord? The reason I ask is because you need to think these decisions through before you are faced with them at a time when you can't pay your rent. It's a big decision. Get godly counsel from those you trust and respect. Ask them how they feel about you moving to Hollywood and commit yourself to the Lord.

I am grateful to be a Christian in Hollywood. God is doing great things here. If you come to the conclusion that God is giving you the green light to come here and throw yourself into the media machine to make a difference in the world, you may want to cut and paste this scripture verse to your bathroom mirror as a daily reminder of the requirements to survive as a Christian in Hollywood.

"Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take to you the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith you shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God: Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching whereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; And for me, that utterance may be given to me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel, For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak... Peace be to the brethren, and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace be with all them that love our Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity. Amen." (Ephesians 6:10-24)


Notice that most of Kirk's creepy sermon is lifted directly from the Bible, and he offers no actual concrete advice for the Hollywood bound?

I'd be interested to know how often Kirk has begged his agent to find someone, anyone, willing to hire him to work in Hollywood again.

I'm pretty sure the number of times he's begged is legion.

Hollywood is a haven for the misfit...

Those among us who dare to accept and respect the religious (and the non-religious) beliefs of everyone they meet.

Shame on you, Kirk!

Shame on you for biting the hand that fed you so well for so long... while you pocket those Go, God! Go! paychecks!

And shame on you for judging those around you.

If you actually read that Bible, you'd learn that judging is not your job, Buddy!

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go in peace and beware the Born Again child actor!

I mean it, damn it!

Saturday, January 22, 2005

The World On Line #1
For You, George W.!
Responding To
Your Inaugural Speech...

Never mind, George W.!

The world couldn't hold any longer.

But they did leave a message...

Some of our older analysts in The State Department say they've seen those semaphore symbols before...

Help! (1965)


Note: In a mirror image, to a lenient eye, the symbols come close to spelling L-P-U-S: HELP US! and/or LP (Long Play) US!, though the boys wouldn't win any merit badges with their form. This has been suggested as the intended message; therefore, I'd be inclined to believe the image is indeed reversed.

Friday, January 21, 2005

This Week's
Of The
Bell Curve


That Insidious,
Super Snarky
Rightwing Rag...

Get the Stupid Stick!

World Net Daily thinks that SpongeBob Squarepants is just too tolerant!

In an attempt to smear The We Are Family Foundation for producing a children's video which promotes respect for all people, World Net Daily accidentally unleashed their Hell Hounds upon We Are Family, a notorious fascist fundie wacko website.

WND published their original story on Jan. 6th.

Consequently, several big name fans of We Are Family, including Dr. James Dobson's Focus On The Family, have since snipped the lifeline to We Are Family.

WND reprinted the Spongebob story and slipped a micro mea culpa at the end of a paragraph.

Real Class act you've got going there, WND!

SpongeBob, Barney promote 'gay' tolerance

61,000 schools to receive 'We Are Family' video with lesson plan

© 2005

In a new video to be distributed to 61,000 schools across the nation, homosexual activists are using popular children's TV characters such as SpongeBob SquarePants and Barney the dinosaur to surreptitiously indoctrinate young children into their lifestyle, a pro-family activist group charges.

SpongeBob Squarepants is one of the popular children's TV characters appearing in a new 'tolerance' video.

Based on the 1970s hit song "We Are Family," the video will be distributed to public and private elementary schools nationwide March 11, along with lesson plans for teachers, points out the American Family Association.

The distribution, sponsored by FedEx, will coincide with the video's broadcast March 11 on Nickelodeon, PBS, and the Disney Channel in celebration of the proposed National We Are Family Day.

SpongeBob Squarepants is one of the
popular children's TV characters appearing
in a new 'tolerance' video.

AFA researcher Ed Vitagliano sees the project as an "open door" to a secondary discussion of homosexuality, noting the the foundation has a "tolerance pledge" on its website that children and others are encouraged to sign, which includes sexual orientation. [Editor's note: This story previously linked to the website of a group that has the same name but no connection to the video. WND regrets the error.]

"While we want everyone to respect other people's beliefs, we do not consider it appropriate for children's television to be used in an effort to indoctrinate children to accept homosexuality," he said. LINK (Beware! Hate Site!)

After Newt Gingrich tried to chicken fry Big Bird, I hoped the wingnuts would leave other defenseless animated characters alone.

But, noooooooo.

Fluffy yellow bird costumes and cute yellow cartoon sponges are easy targets for wingnuts.


Both characters are yellow.

There used to be yellow triangles, too...

Lots of them went up in smoke.

Heavy, heavy sigh.

Inaugural Sound And Fury:
The Stuff Of Captions

Michael Gerson's inaugural address, as read by George W. yesterday, was full of it of sound and fury.

Your scrivener now presents highlights from Mr. Gerson's speech, accompanied by corresponding images from yesterday's American Coronation:

There is only one force of history that can break the reign of hatred and resentment, and expose the pretensions of tyrants, and reward the hopes of the decent and tolerant, and that is the force of human freedom.

From the day of our Founding, we have proclaimed that every man and woman on this earth has rights, and dignity, and matchless value, because they bear the image of the Maker of Heaven and earth.

My most solemn duty is to protect this nation and its people against further attacks and emerging threats. Some have unwisely chosen to test America's resolve, and have found it firm.

All who live in tyranny and hopelessness can know: the United States will not ignore your oppression, or excuse your oppressors. When you stand for your liberty, we will stand with you.

I ask our youngest citizens to believe the evidence of your eyes. You have seen duty and allegiance in the determined faces of our soldiers. You have seen that life is fragile, and evil is real, and courage triumphs. Make the choice to serve in a cause larger than your wants, larger than yourself - and in your days you will add not just to the wealth of our country, but to its character.

When our Founders declared a new order of the ages; when soldiers died in wave upon wave for a union based on liberty; when citizens marched in peaceful outrage under the banner "Freedom Now" - they were acting on an ancient hope that is meant to be fulfilled. History has an ebb and flow of justice, but history also has a visible direction, set by liberty and the Author of Liberty.

Poor Michael Gerson!

Michael Gerson, President Bush's 40-year-old speechwriter, had a mild heart attack in mid-December that put him in intensive care for two days. The timing could not have been worse for Mr. Gerson: it was the height of speechwriting season, and Mr. Bush's second Inaugural Address and 2005 State of the Union address were menacingly close.

So two short weeks later, Mr. Gerson was back in the office full time to deal with a boss who has never taken a hands-off approach to his speechwriters' prose.

As recently as late last week, Mr. Gerson said, the president was making significant revisions almost daily to final drafts of the Inaugural Address. Mr. Bush does not write large portions of his speeches himself, but he does like to aggressively prune and to second- and third-guess.
"He reads it in the evening and he'll usually have changes the next day," Mr. Gerson said in an interview on his cellphone on Friday as he paced the halls in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building next door to the White House. "He will take out whole sentences that he thinks are repetitive or interrupt the flow when he's reading it aloud. And then he'll want some explanatory material added." LINK

"Explanatory material," Mr. Gerson?

... a poor player,
That struts and frets upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

William Shakespeare
Macbeth, act 5, scene 5

Heavy, heavy sigh.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

CLOSED (Please Call Again!)

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

JBLB: Jenna Bush Left Behind?

Is anyone else as surprised as I am that Jenna Bush has now been denied two teaching jobs because she isn't qualified?

That little fact never stopped her father, did it?

I expected Jenna to spend her 1-2 year workforce sentence in a private school with great photo ops... but, NOOOOOOO...

Jenna had to break the Bush mold and apply for an actual teaching job.

Like real people.

WWJT? (What Was Jenna Drinking Thinking?)

Alas and alack, Nickelby (NCLB) regulations (signed into law by Daddy) seem to be Jenna's brick wall.

Philly paper: Jenna can’t find work

FIRST, Jenna Bush was going to teach poor kids in Harlem.

Then, after Harlem didn’t welcome her with open arms, she decided she was going to teach poor kids at a Washington, D.C., charter school.

Then important news broke: Jenna would wear a Badgley Mischka dress at dad’s inaugural ball.

But what about that teaching job? How’s that going?

The Washington Post’s Reliable Source says not so well.

The White House has been mum on Jenna’s job search (odd since they’re usually so forthcoming), but the Post believes Jenna has started work not as a teacher, but as a teacher’s aide because she doesn’t have the qualifications necessary to take over a classroom under the stringent requirements of No Child Left Behind.

(Who knew when dad signed it into law in 2002, the child being left behind would be his own daughter?)

The Post reported in December that Jenna was going to teach at Elsie Whitlow Stokes Community Freedom Public Charter School in a low-income neighborhood.

But after rumors flew that Jenna had actually started as a teaching assistant, the Post spoke to executive director Linda Moore.

“Jenna Bush is not employed as a teacher at the school,” Moore said.

Asked whether Jenna was working as an assistant teacher, Moore said: “I can’t confirm that.”

That’s when Moore mentioned No Child Left Behind.

She told the Post there are “some very strict requirements about who can be hired and what their credentials have to be, and they do apply to charter schools.”

All Laura Bush’s spokesman would say is “Jenna Bush has started work.” LINK

If/when Jenna finally gets a real teaching job, what will parents tell their children?

Jenna, The Children's Role Model

Jenna, The Birthday Girl

Jenna, Paving The Way For
Janet Jackson's Boob Incident

When asked to comment on Jenna's current employment status, George W. responded in the same skilled way he answers foreign and domestic policy questions...

Buck up, Little Princess!

There are always other fulfilling job ops out there waiting for you!

Hey, Jen!

If you can't cut it in Today's Army, you could always get Daddy's friends to buy some Amway products from you!

Sorry, folks!
Today's post was just too much fun for me!