Sunday, April 30, 2006

Snarky Sermon on the Blog: Bush Doesn't Support Christians

I have to admit how shocked I was to hear President George W. Bush say, "I am not a supporter of boycotts."

Did Bush just thwack Christian boycotters of "unChristian businesses?" Does the president not support these efforts?


Business that pulled funding from the Boy Scouts
Carrier Heating, Air-Conditioning, Refrigeration Corporation
Columbus Dispatch
CVS Pharmacy
Public Broadcasting System (PBS)
United Way


Delta Airlines New
The Timothy Plan (mutual fund that screens companies)
Lifeline Communications (Christian alternative to AT&T)
Non-Profit Organizations

Success Stories

Columbus, OH city council rescinds decision on "domestic partner" benefits *
Salvation Army rescinds decision to provide "domestic partner" benefits*

* We weren't involved in these successes. They're listed for motivational purposes.
Buck up, Little Campers! President Bush was only referring to people singing the national anthem in Spanish and immigrants boycotting work and school on May Day, wasn't he?

The nerve of people! Assuming that they have the right to sing our national anthem in a language other than English! Why, you'd think they found out that The United State of America HAS NO OFFICIAL LANGUAGE.

Besides, how dare they translate the lyrics into another language in the first place! Who do they think they are... Germans?

Das Star-Spangled Banner

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go forth today and consider the level of stupidity necessary to be against something you, yourself, support when it fits your own personal convictions.

Think about it.

I mean it, damn it!

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Limbaugh's Lawyer's Deceptive Dictionary

Rush Limbaugh's lawyer, Roy Black, seems to be the only source for the news of Rush Limbaugh's drug charge yesterday.

According to all news reports I've read and heard (all based on Black's statements), El RushBo turned himself in, posted bail, and went home. If Rush is a good Nazi for the next 18 months, the charges will disappear.

Hm. Is Florida law that forgiving and that understanding of drug addiction?

I know. I know. Noelle Bush.

Roy Black's dictionary might explain that Rush isn't actually skating:

Settlement agreement- plea bargain

- fine

Turned himself in- arrested on a bench warrant

Pleading not guilty
- If Rush has a plea agreement, why plead Not Guilty?

Charges to be dismissed in 18 months- a judge is doesn't have to accept Rush's plea bargain (in fact, no judge has ruled on this plea agreement yet).

The good news? For the next 18 months, this should make you smile:

Gee, that mug shot looks familiar!

Warning! Don't let your children get away with this:

This Rush Drug Bust is far from over.

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Friday, April 28, 2006

This Week's
Backside Of The Bell Curve


Randy "Duke"
"Gimme Some Hookers With That Cash"
& Friends

Nice golf outing sunburn, Dukestir!

Of course, Mitchell Wade, the actual Hooker procurer, is the true bonehead bastard of the bunch, but it's just too much fun to poke a little blog stick at the Dukestir, whose supporters probably "understand" that that much money would even tempt a saint.

Wonkette writes:
A couple others who were the beneficiaries of Brent Wilkes generosity — financial and maybe, just maybe, otherwise:

* Appropriations Committee Chairman Jerry Lewis
* Rep. John T. Doolittle (received more money than Cunningham!)
* Schwarzenegger (though he probably doesn’t need a contractor to get him a hooker)
* Duncan Hunter

(some of those recipients have “given back” the tainted money to charities — but as we all know, you can’t give back a night in heaven)

How about them hookers, Cunningham supporters? Still ready to go to the mat for your good ol' boy now?

Cry, Dukestir, cry
Make your mother sigh
You're old enough to know better
So cry, Dukestir, cry

And what is it with Republicans and crimes and The Watergate? All you have to do is sit in the lobby's lounge with a camera phone and a laptop to gather all the Who's that hooker with the Republican? dirt you need.

Come on, all of you Wood-Stein wannabes. Get to work!

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, April 27, 2006

Luskin: "In connection with this appearance, the Special Counsel has advised Mr. Rove that he is not a target of the investigation."

Why the qualifier, Mr. Luskin?

Yesterday, KKKarl Rove's lawyer, Mr. Luskin, was oh, so careful in saying:

"In connection with this appearance, the Special Counsel has advised Mr. Rove that he is not a target of the investigation. Mr. Fitzgerald has affirmed that he has made no decision concerning charges.”

The emphasis is mine.

What about Rove's previous grand jury appearances, Mr. Luskin?

Again, emphasis mine.

And when are reporters going to get a God damned clue and ask the right damned questions?


So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

These People Vote

This just in from The Sushi Bandit:

Got this e-mail today... wanted to share it. Enjoy!

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it.
Caution! . . . . . . . . . . . These people Vote
While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was North because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, (and has for sometime), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff". . . . .
She ALSO votes!
I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual
who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time? "Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" . . . . . . . .
He ALSO votes!
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the
administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". . . . . .
She ALSO votes!
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car . It's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets
trapped. She keeps it in the trunk . . My sister ALSO votes!
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount . . . . .
He ALSO votes!
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned. . . . . . .
My friend ALSO votes!
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet? ".
SHE ALSO votes!

While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be
alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 . . . . . . .
Yep, he votes too.

Scary. When I was teaching French, a student once asked me, "How do you say bon voyage in French?"

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

How Bush Found His New FOX News/White House Spokesperson (Tony Snow)

Tony Snow, the Harriet Miers of professional journalism...

Way to go, George W.!

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

What the hell is a Real Republician?

Whatever it is, this guy claims to be one...

Did you read the fine print?

Political Advertisement Paid for and Approved by
Randy Johnson,
Republician for Chief Financial Officer

It would behoove the good citizens of Florida to LRJB (Leave Randy Johnson Behind) this year.

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Oily Lies and the Oil Men Who Tell Them

Raise your hand if you know someone who still believes anything that Big Oil producers or their investors or their media minions say about gasoline prices.

Keep your hand raised if the mainstream media's oil-dripping ooze, complete with "experts' opinions" leads you to believe that the problem is a lack of worldwide supply due to unrest in Nigeria, Iran, and Iraq.

Keep your hand raised if you're considering buying a new high mileage per gallon car.

Did you read the small print at the bottom? This chart doesn't include oil production stats from the former USSR, China, and non-OECD Europe.

Is your hand still raised?

Greater oil availability may reduce prices in the coming years

For 2006, the International Energy Agency (IEA) forecasts global production growth of a strong 2.3 million barrels per day (mmbpd), which should outpace the growth of demand for crude oil, estimated at 1.8 mmbpd (a 2.2% increase from 2005 global demand of 83.3 mmbpd). Non-OPEC production is set to increase in 2006 (after a flat 2005) by an estimated 1.3 mmbpd year on year (0.8 mmbpd when adjusted for lower 2005 production due to Gulf of Mexico hurricanes), while OPEC capacity is expected to expand by 1 mmbpd by year-end 2006. Spare production capacity is thus expected to trend upward to above 1.5 mmbpd, according to the U.S. Energy Information Administration (see chart 1), which is still modest when compared with historical averages. This estimate could well be conservative and spare capacity may increase further in 2007-2009, when many large projects will come onstream.

Yes, we use too much oil. Yes, we ignore funding public transit systems at our own peril. And yes, the environmental impact of continued devotion to fossil fuels is devastating.

Last question: Does anyone still believe the words of a failed oil man/pResident posing in front of yet another damned banner?

Raise your hand if you're sick of the lies, sick of the instability, and just plain sick of BushCo.

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Biblical Marriage: Coming Soon To A Voting Booth Near You

Jay Jay Snow (no relation-- I hope-- to FOX/White House paid liar, Tony) has posted a terrifically snarky response to Senator Bill Frist's incredibly stupid attempt to rally the dwindling Republican base this November. Frist warns that gays will marry unless Republicans run to the voting booths and preserve "Biblical marriage."

Jay Jay writes:

The President wants a marriage amendment based on Biblical principles? I suspect those principles he is talking about are only the ones that apply to gays and lesbians.

Unless the amendment includes all marriage principles contained in the Bible, it is discriminatory, immoral, unethical, and hypocritical. An amendment that is according to “Biblical principles” would have to look something like this:

Amendment XXVIII

Section 1.
Marriage shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Genesis 29:17-28)

Section 2.
Marriage shall not impede the man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Samuel 5:13; II Chronicles 11:21)

Section 3.
A marriage shall be considered valid if and only if the bride was a virgin at the time of the marriage ceremony. If the wife was not a virgin, she must be put to death. (Deuteronomy 22:13)

Section 4.
Marriage of a believer and a nonbeliever is strictly forbidden. (Genesis 24:3)

Section 5.
If a married man dies and leaves no children, his brother must marry the widow. He must then impregnate her so that she might bring up children in the dead brother's name. (Genesis 38:6-10; Deuteronomy 25:5-10)

Section 6.
If a man is caught forcing a virgin woman to have intercourse with him, he may pay her father and she will be his wife. She shall have no say in this matter. (Deuteronomy 22:28-29)

Section 7.
A man my kidnap a female of his choice to be his wife. (Judges 21.20-23)

Section 8.
A father may give, by contest, his daughter to the winner to be his wife. (Josh 15.16-17)

Section 9.
If a man dislikes his new bride and her parent's cannot prove her virginity, she is to be stoned to death. (Dt 22.13-21)

Section 10.
A man may take his Aunt to be his wife. ( Exodus 6:20)

I wonder if people who support a Constitutional marriage amendment realize what such an amendment would do? It would not only ban same-sex marriage, but it would also take states rights over marriage away and hand it over to the federal government. All marriage. That means that the federal government could regulate marriage in anyway it saw fit. It would start with same-sex marriage, but as the cliche goes, "It's a slippery slope."

And now, a little history...

The participants in a marriage usually seek social recognition for their relationship, and many societies require official approval of a religious or civil body. Sociologists thus distinguish between a marriage ceremony conducted under the auspices of a religion and a state-authorised civil marriage.

In many jurisdictions the civil marriage ceremony may take place during the religious marriage ceremony, although they are theoretically distinct. In most American states, the marriage may be officiated by a priest, minister, or religious authority, and in such a case the religious authority acts simultaneously as an agent of the state. In some countries such as France, Germany and Russia, it is necessary to be married by the state before having a religious ceremony. Some states allow civil marriages in circumstances which are not allowed by many religions, such as same-sex marriages or civil unions, and marriage may also be created by the operation of the law alone as in common-law marriage, which is a judicial recognition that two people living as domestic partners are entitled to the effects of marriage. Conversely, there are examples of people who have a religious ceremony that is not recognized by the civil authorities. Examples include widows who stand to lose a pension if they remarry and so undergo a marriage in the eyes of God, homosexual couples, some sects which recognize polygamy, retired couples who would lose pension benefits if legally married, Muslim men who wish to engage in polygamy that is condoned in some situations under Islam, and immigrants who do not wish to alert the immigration authorities that they are married either to a spouse they are leaving behind or because the complexity of immigration laws may make it difficult for spouses to visit on a tourist visa.

In Europe it has traditionally been the churches' office to make marriages official by registering them. Hence, it was a significant step towards a clear separation of church and state and also an intended and effective weakening of the Christian churches' role in Germany, when Chancellor Otto von Bismarck introduced the Zivilehe (civil marriage) in 1875. This law made the declaration of the marriage before an official clerk of the civil administration (both spouses affirming their will to marry) the procedure to make a marriage legally valid and effective, and reduced the clerical marriage to a mere private ceremony.

And why is a separation of church and state marriage necessary?

That's why.

Frankly, I don't give a rat's ass about a church's decision to marry or not marry couples. Change of attitude inside a church's walls is the business of the church. Period. Change therein must come from... er, within.

The fact that churches are exerting influence over civil ceremonies, thereby negating the constitutional rights of citizens to enter into a legally-binding contract recognized by all 50 states as well as the federal government, is what pisses me off to no end.

Gays marrying will not damage any "good Christian" marriage, and the Fristian attempt to make you believe otherwise is a lie, designed purely to get enough Republicans to show up at the polls this November... so BushCo can cheat another election by claiming that "Biblical marriage" supporters turned out to vote.

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Monday, April 24, 2006

Back When There Were REAL Democrats...

Democracy used to sound like this...

Watergate Hearings
(Ervin & Dash)

Click Here To Listen
to a tiny morsel of democracy in action

Today's Lesson: When you know you're right, act like it, damn it!

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Snarky Sermon on the Blog: The Handmaid's Tale (Petri Dish Edition)

Where in the Bible does it read, "And lo, Rachel and Jacob sent their eggs and sperm to India, where they were implanted into a surrogate for a payment of $5000? And the poor Indian surrogate conceived, and bare (sic) Jacob a son and was able to update her family kitchen and augment her household income?

And where does it read that Rachel and Jacob would never have considered "juicing up" their DNA and producing a Wal-Mart priced designer baby had the option been available to them?

Outsourcing pregnancies to India
Rising numbers of infertile couples from U.S. and Europe are coming to India to hire surrogate mothers.

By Henry Chu
Saturday, April 22, 2006

ANAND, India — As temp jobs go, Saroj Mehli has landed what she feels is a pretty sweet deal. It's a nine-month gig, no special skills needed, and the only real labor comes at the end — when she gives birth.

If everything goes according to plan, Mehli, 32, will deliver a healthy baby early next year. But rather than join her other three children, the newborn will be handed over to a U.S. couple who are unable to bear a child on their own and are hiring Mehli to do it for them.

She'll be paid about $5,000 for acting as a surrogate mother, a bonanza that would take her more than six years to earn on her schoolteacher's salary. "I might renovate or add to the house, or spend it on my kids' education or my daughter's wedding," Mehli said. Much more...
The baby brokerage biz is just like the funeral biz: demand for services will never diminish. And demand for low-cost alternatives is always priority #1.

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go forth today and consider this surrogacy trend as merely the latest in a long line of medical practices (like organ harvesting) available to the western world because of our wealth and desire...

Are we Americans turning poor Indians into incubators and spare parts warehouses? Another thing to consider...

At this rate, designer babies cooked up in Indian Petri dishes could be the next craze. When this becomes common practice, will you accept that naturally-born "take your chances" babies will face lifelong discrimination?

Think about it.

I mean it, damn it!

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Oil At $75 Per Barrel: Bush Reneges On Promise To "Jawbone The Saudis"

So much for the main reason Republican voters kept supporting George W. Idiot for so long: cheap gasoline. That 2ooo presidential campaign promise to "jawbone the Saudis" has turned out to be just another Bush lie.

No withdrawals from strategic oil reserve needed

Q: The Energy Secretary said he would not tap US strategic petroleum reserves in order to drive down prices saying those reserves are for emergencies. But given the shortages that exist, do you consider this an appropriate time to tap those reserves?

A (Bush): No, I don'’t. I agree with the energy secretary that the strategic petroleum reserve is meant for a national wartime emergency. What I think the president ought to do is get on the phone with the OPEC cartel and say we expect you to open your spigots. One reason why the price is so high is because the price of crude oil has been driven up. OPEC has gotten its supply act together and it'’s driving the price, like it did in the past. And the president must jawbone OPEC members to lower the price. And if in fact there is collusion amongst big oil, he ought to intercede there as well.

Source: GOP Debate in Manchester NH Jan 26, 2000
Oil was $28 per barrel when Bush promised to jawbone. His Kool Aid guzzlers ran to the polls and turned a blind eye when he lost to Gore, and they cheered when the George W. Supreme Court appointed him Jawboner-In-Chief.


US won't ask OPEC for more oil

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. Energy Secretary Sam Bodman on Friday said he will not ask the OPEC cartel to pump more oil even though gasoline prices are soaring and Republican congressional leaders want the White House to do more to fight rising energy costs.

High energy prices will be on the agenda this weekend at the International Energy Forum in Doha, Qatar, which will be attended by officials from 65 countries, including the United States and members of the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries,

The price for U.S. crude oil hit a record $75.35 a barrel on Friday at the New York Mercantile Exchange and gasoline at $3 a gallon continues to spread to many U.S. cities and towns.

Bodman, who will be at the Doha meeting, told reporters that OPEC members and other oil producing nations "are largely producing everything that they can produce."

Bodman supports the position of OPEC ministers that oil supplies are plentiful at the moment. "They believe, and I don't have any reason to doubt them, that the oil markets are well-supplied," he said.

Some gasoline distribution terminals from Virginia to Massachusetts are already seeing shortages as the industry transitions to ethanol. That's helping to push up pump prices.

Bodman said he was not aware of any profiteering by U.S. oil companies in the current spike in crude oil and gasoline prices. "We continue to watch that," he said.

Republicans are worried that consumer anger over high gasoline prices will hurt them in this year's mid-term congressional elections.
Hope you're happy now, Kool Aid Guzzlers.

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Friday, April 21, 2006

This Week's
Backside Of The Bell Curve


Hu else?

US President
George W. Embarrassment

George W. Pissy

George W. Touchy Feely

George W. Grabby

George W. Usher
(All that's missing

is the flashlight.)

What an asshat!


Dick Dozing

3 more years?

We're in a whole Heap O' Trouble, friends & neighbors!

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Why Are These Guys Smiling?

McClellan and Rove must know something the rest of us don't. They're both part of a White House "shakeup"... that isn't a shakeup at all. (They'll both be taking over various roles in the upcoming November elections.) Sidney Blumenthal just called McClellan a "flea on the windshield of history" and dropped this little bombshell: "Karl Rove is a subject of Fitzgerald's investigation - this is the headline buried in Libby's filing."

Creepy smiles. Creepy men.

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Crying Out For A Caption

Hm. It looks like someone just slipped George W. the new Rolling Stone cover story.

Stop. Rewind. Bush probably just saw the cover...

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

At least, Fay Wray Started Out
With A Dress On

The Bush family went to chapel at Camp David on Easter Sunday. Never mind that George W. is too afraid of Cindy Sheehan to spend Easter at his Texas pig farm ranch. Never mind that George W. can't even find the correct page in the hymnal.

Look at daughter Barbara. At least Fay Wray started out with a dress...

And where's Jenna?

Bush Family Value #1: Do as we say, not as we do.

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

They Said It Would Never Happen:
Rolling Blackouts In Texas

Rolling blackouts? That only happens in Commie California, right? They recalled a governor based on Enron's manipulation of the power grids, didn't they? I was in San Diego during those rolling blackouts that year. Everyone panicked.


Dallas. Fort Worth. Arlington. Richardson. Time to panic, Texas. Whatever you do, don't vote for anyone this year who can't influence those in power. (Bad pun? Translated: You'd better keep Republicans in power, or you'll lose control over your home heating and cooling.)

"Freeze A Yankee" used to be one of the favorite sayings of Texas families when turning up the heat on a cold (50°-32° F) Texas night. I wonder how they feel today.

TXU began shutting down different neighborhoods for 15 minutes at a time. Company officials say the move avoided cutting off critical grids that feed hospitals and nursing homes.

Along with residential homes, street lights were temporarily shut down in cities such as Arlington, Fort Worth, Richardson and Dallas.

ERCOT Spokesman Paul Wattles said the typical power usage for Texas in April is roughly 40,000 megawatts a day. On Monday the state pushed 52,000 megawatts.
They say this was just a drill. They say this is a common occurrence. Oh, right. Sure.

When Robert Bryce called Texas a superstate, this was his justification:

In Texas, you have the concentration of cronies in a very small network of people whose names and who keep changing chairs, but not authority. For instance, James Baker III. This man has been at the forefront of American politics for the last 30 years, whether in the Ford administration, the Reagan administration, the first Bush administration, or in this one. That Cronyism involves not only Baker, but his law firm Baker Botts, which perhaps more than any other law firm in America has profited from its close ties to George W. Bush’s administration. What makes the Texas crony network different is that it is small and virtually everyone of these high-profile cronies are involved in some way or another with the energy business.

Want to bet that electric and gas bills skyrocket this year? I'll eat my tin foil Stetson if they don't. At 6:52 this morning, Texas looked like this:

And it's still April.

Alas, Texas!

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Monday, April 17, 2006

The Washington Post Tells The Truth... On Page A13

Of course, the headline is misleading... again.

Pink Is the New Red
As President Bush's Popularity Falls, the Nation's Color Divide Adds a Few Hues

By Richard Morin
Monday, April 17, 2006; Page A13

It seems that only yesterday American politics appeared to have found its true colors: Republican Red and Democratic Blue, the visual shorthand for an electorate that most thought had become immutably divided by geography and partisanship into red states and blue. According to the latest Post-ABC News poll, Bush's overall job approval rating now averages 43 percent in the states where he beat Democratic nominee John Kerry two years ago, while 57 percent disapprove of his performance.

Bush is even marginally unpopular, at least on average, in states where he beat Kerry with relative ease. The poll data suggest that in states where the president's victory margin was greater than five percentage points, his average job approval currently stands at 47 percent. Red? Hardly. A watery pink at best.

And in states where the president's victory margin was five percentage points or less, a clear majority of residents now disapprove of his performance. Color them light blue.

More ominously for Republicans, their party also has lost standing with the public.
If the WaPo publishes a story on page A13, and major TV news outlets don't cover it, does it still mean that most Americans hate George W. Bush?

Don't hold your breath waiting to find out in November. Republicans cheat.

Health Care isn't the only thing sagging, George.

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Easter Sermon On The Blog:
BushCo Hates The Little Children

Jesus wept.

White House changes Easter Egg Roll admit process; LGBT families 'moved from front of the line'

by Michael Rogers

After waiting outside overnight to be among the first to enter this year's White House Easter Egg Roll, families in line were surprised to learn that the White House had changed the ticketing policy for the annual event, PageOneQ has learned.

The unannounced change means that the families who waited in line the longest, in one case for twenty-four hours, will not be among the visitors at the event's opening ceremonies. The first families in line, who were not part of the LGBT family group, received tickets with an 11:00am entrance time, two hours later than the opening time listed in the White House press release.

Various media reports have publicized participation of lesbian and gay families, including a piece in the New York Times, which ran on April 10th, and media representatives were interviewing families in the line about the small swirl of controversy created by the decision of LGBT families to participate in the annual event. This morning, cameras from approximately half a dozen television stations, including CNN, were on the Ellipse, interviewing families about the decision of LGBT parents to participate.

In a telephone call and email exchange with PageOneQ earlier today, Deputy White House Dana Perino, the Deputy White House Press Secretary told PageOneQ that, "[T]he number of tickets are the same as every year, and that the large group we invited this year is youth volunteers ... and they are coming in the morning. We invite a group like that every year, for instance one or two years ago it was military families. In order to accomodate [sic] all of the people who want to come to the easter egg roll, we stagger the times to ensure maximum enjoyment for everyone."

One ticket recipient who was approximately fifty people behind the Family Pride Coalition, told PageOneQ that he was "upset, very upset, that they would change the policy to make those of us who spent the night be the last ones to get into the event." When asked his name, the man said that, "Because my brother works for the State Department, I'd rather keep my name out of the article."

The Family Pride group, which was located approximately 150 people from the start of the line, received tickets with entry times of 11:30am and later.

Some waiting in line were not upset with the ticketing change. "This means we get to sleep at the hotel later," one teenager was heard saying. Other participants were not as happy. In addition to the first group in line, others who were near the front of the line expressed disappointment over their entry times. "We thought we would wait in line so we could go to the ceremony," said one parent.

When asked about the ticket time issue, Jennifer Chrisler, Family Pride Coalition's Executive Director stayed out of the controversy by telling PageOneQ that, "We're just so happy to be participating in this national event, and we are thrilled to be a part of this national tradition."

The egg roll takes place Monday morning on the White House grounds.

Update: PageOneQ has receive a follow-up e-mail from the White House Deputy Press Secretary. In PageOneQ's original note, we inquired:
Can you tell me why in the past those that waited in line overnight received tickets to the early part of the program? ...[W]hy the policy this year bumped the families who waited in line the longest. as apposed to other years when special guests must have been integrated with the earlier ticket holders?
Perino's reply:

Here's additional comment, but don't think I'll have anything more:

This year, the President and Mrs. Bush invited a special group of children who volunteer from organizations like 4-H, Big Brothers Big Sisters, Campfire USA, Citizen Corps, Learn & Serve, Little Hands Big Hearts, YMCA and Youth Service America. These youth volunteer were invited to attend during the morning hours of the event.

The number of public tickets is the same as in years past and has not changed as a result of this group's participation. Although the public tickets begin with times later in the morning, the event will have the same activities throughout the day for everyone to enjoy.
Inviting special groups to the event has become an annual tradition. Mrs. Bush invited mentoring youth in 2005, youth affiliated with the National Childhood Cancer Foundation in 2004, and the event was completely closed to only military families in 2003. The number of available public tickets has remained the same in recent years, including this year.
PageOneQ wrote back to ask Perino:
There is one question that is still unanswered.

In years past, with the exact same arrangement of invited guests, those that spent all night outside for tickets were given tickets to the event's opening times. When was the decision made, and by whom, to exclude those families from the opening ceremonies? This is the first time that no early tickets were distributed to those that waited the longest. Do you know why?
Perino's reply:
"The early morning tickets were designated this year for the youth voulunteers[sic]."

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go forth today, armed with Cadbury chocolate eggs, and consider this...

Sheep or wolves: which Biblically identified group will inherit the kingdom?

Be kind to all the children of the world.

I mean it, damn it!

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, April 15, 2006

Nothing Says Lovin'
Like A Doughboy In The Oven

Before you say a prayer today to celebrate the Harrowing Of Hell...

... be sure to bake some lip-smackin' goodness...

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Friday, April 14, 2006

This Week's
Backside Of The Bell Curve


Fascist Red-Voting Americans

Just look what your hatred and lack of compassion for those either different or less fortunate have done to the Easter Bunny...

Type EASTER in the search box and click on "The Easter Bunny Hates You" to View The Video

Video by

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Good Friday Grief and Gravy

It's Blog Box day, and it's Good Friday.

Buy extra candy eggs...

... and forgive those who wear pastels and patent leather. I'll be back later today with this week's Backside of the Bell Curve Winner.

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Everything You Always Wanted To Know About George W.'s Nuclear Bunker Busters

Crank up the volume and click here.

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Vast Left Wing Conspiracy Update:
We've Finally Turned Phyllis Schlafly!

VLWC Action Alert!

Congratulations, VLWC operatives! We've been working on turning Syph-Phyllis Schlafly for decades, and our hard work has finally paid off.

For the impressionable youngsters in our VLWC Youth Corps, ask your liberal commie pinko parents and liberal commie pinko teachers about Phyllis. The good news: Yesterday, Ms. Schlafly wrote this...

George W. Bush, who will never again run for office, is selfishly destroying the Republican Party. He is molding the Republican Party into the Party of Big Business and Big Government.

-- Phyllis Schlafly

Pigs are flying. Repeat. Pigs are flying. Over and Out.

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

George W. + Light Socket + Dinner Knife

Make no mistake. Curiosity has nothing to do with George W.'s need for an entertaining diversion today.

Bush Approval Rating at New Career Low

ABC News/Washington Post Poll: Only 38 Percent of Americans Approval of Bush's Overall Job Performance, the Lowest of His Presidency

April 10, 2006 — President Bush's job approval rating is at a career low in this latest ABC News/Washington Post poll amid continued broad public skepticism about the Iraq war.

Just 38 percent of Americans now approve of Bush's overall performance in office; it's the lowest mark of his presidency, albeit by a single point. Sixty percent disapprove of how he's handling his job, matching the highest disapproval of his tenure.

Prodi Claims Italy Victory

Sky News: Centre-left challenger Romano Prodi has promised to represent all Italians after claiming victory in Italy's general election.

He was speaking after reports that his coalition had now taken both houses of the Italian parliament - although his opponent Silvio Berlusconi is disputing the results.

Mr Prodi said he had earned the right to become prime minister after the bitterly-fought election.

He said he would govern on behalf of all Italians, including those who had not voted for him.

In Attics and Rubble, More Bodies and Questions

NYT: The bodies of storm victims are still being discovered in New Orleans — in March alone there were nine, along with one skull. Skeletonized or half-eaten by animals, with leathery, hardened skin or missing limbs, the bodies are lodged in piles of rubble, dangling from rafters or lying face down, arms outstretched on parlor floors.

Specter urges Bush, Cheney to explain CIA leak

Yahoo News: The Republican chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee said Sunday that President Bush should speak publicly about a leak of classified intelligence that was released to rebut an Iraq war critic.

"The president of the United States owes a specific explanation to the American people," Sen. Arlen Specter (news, bio, voting record), R-Pa., said on Fox News Sunday.

Young Officers Leaving Army at a High Rate

NYT: Young Army officers, including growing numbers of captains who leave as soon as their initial commitment is fulfilled, are bailing out of active-duty service at rates that have alarmed senior officers. Last year, more than a third of the West Point class of 2000 left active duty at the earliest possible moment, after completing their five-year obligation.

It was the second year in a row of worsening retention numbers, apparently marking the end of a burst of patriotic fervor during which junior officers chose continued military service at unusually high rates. Mirroring the problem among West Pointers, graduates of reserve officer training programs at universities are also increasingly leaving the service at the end of the four-year stint in uniform that follows their commissioning.

Participants in Phone-Jamming Scheme Contacted White House

WTOL: Key figures in a phone-jamming scheme designed to keep New Hampshire Democrats from voting in 2002 had regular contact with the White House and Republican Party as the plan was unfolding, phone records introduced in criminal court show. The records show that Bush campaign operative James Tobin, who recently was convicted in the case, made two dozen calls to the White House within a three-day period around Election Day 2002 -- as the phone jamming operation was finalized, carried out, and then abruptly shut down.

And the beat goes on...

Honestly! It's enough to make any pig ignorant sock puppet pResident seek the nearest entertaining diversion. Hey, George W.! A simple power outage in the West Wing might divert attention from your troubles for an hour or two. Plus, if you stick the knife in the socket, the lights will go out and you can cancel today's boring meetings. And no one would ever know that you did it. I mean, how could they ever find out? And wouldn't it be as much fun as blowing up a frog?

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Monday, April 10, 2006

Dr. Jekyll and The Washington Post

My online friend Sparkley writes:

Compare today's WP lead article with today's WP editorial -- CRAZY!!!

Compare the WP’s lead article, “A ‘Concerted Effort’ to Discredit Bush Critic” with its editorial, “A Good Leak," both from today.

From the editorial:
Vice President Cheney initially chose to be secretive, ordering his chief of staff at the time, I. Lewis Libby, to leak the information to a favorite New York Times reporter.

From the article:
The first of those conversations, according to the evidence made known thus far, came when Libby met with Bob Woodward, an assistant managing editor of The Washington Post, on June 27, 2003.

From the editorial:
Mr. Wilson originally claimed in a 2003 New York Times op-ed and in conversations with numerous reporters that he had debunked a report that Iraq was seeking to purchase uranium from Niger and that Mr. Bush's subsequent inclusion of that allegation in his State of the Union address showed that he had deliberately "twisted" intelligence "to exaggerate the Iraq threat." The material that Mr. Bush ordered declassified established, as have several subsequent investigations, that Mr. Wilson was the one guilty of twisting the truth.

From the article:
One striking feature …is that the evidence Cheney and Libby selected to share with reporters had been disproved months before.
But the White House Iraq Group, formed in August 2002 to foster "public education" about Iraq's "grave and gathering danger" to the United States, repeatedly pitched the uranium story.
At Cheney's instruction, Libby testified, he told Miller that the uranium story was a "key judgment" of the intelligence estimate, a term of art indicating there was consensus on a question of central importance…In fact, the alleged effort to buy uranium was not among the estimate's key judgments…

From the editorial:
In fact, (Wilson’s) report supported the conclusion that Iraq had sought uranium.

From the article:
Cheney, in a conversation with Libby in early July 2003, was said to describe Wilson's CIA-sponsored trip to Niger the previous year -- in which the envoy found no support for charges that Iraq tried to buy uranium there -- as "a junket set up by Mr. Wilson's wife," CIA case officer Valerie Plame.

From the editorial:
Mr. Libby is charged with perjury, for having lied about his discussions with two reporters.

From the article:
Libby is charged with perjury and obstruction of justice for denying under oath that he disclosed Plame's CIA employment to journalists.

From the editorial:
Mr. Wilson subsequently claimed that the White House set out to punish him for his supposed whistle-blowing by deliberately blowing the cover of his wife, Valerie Plame, who he said was an undercover CIA operative. This prompted the investigation by Special Counsel Patrick J. Fitzgerald. After more than 2 1/2 years of investigation, Mr. Fitzgerald has reported no evidence to support Mr. Wilson's charge.

From the article:
Fitzgerald said the grand jury has collected so much testimony and so many documents that "it is hard to conceive of what evidence there could be that would disprove the existence of White House efforts to 'punish' Wilson."

From the editorial:
As Mr. Fitzgerald pointed out at the time of Mr. Libby's indictment last fall, none of this is particularly relevant to the question of whether the grounds for war in Iraq were sound or bogus.

From the article:
Fitzgerald wrote that Cheney and his aides saw Wilson as a threat to "the credibility of the Vice President (and the President) on a matter of signal importance: the rationale for the war in Iraq." They decided to respond by implying that Wilson got his CIA assignment by "nepotism."
What's going on in WaPoville? Don't these people even talk to each other? How can you publish an article on page A01 and op ed on page B06 on the same day... completely at odds with each other?

Hm. Here's the WaPo's editorial policy:

Editorial & Opinion Pages

The Editorial department publishes the editorials, letters to the editor and opinion pages. So as not to compromise the objectivity of the news department, the editorial staff operates independently; its editor, Fred Hiatt, reports directly to The Post's chairman, Donald Graham.

The editorial board meets daily to discuss issues and plan the unsigned editorials that present the newspaper's views on matters of local, national and international concern.

The opinion page publishes pieces by both regular columnists and guest contributors. Like the editorial page, the opinion page appears every day. On Sundays, the department publishes an extra opinion page, Close to Home, that emphasizes issues of local interest.

Letters to the editor also appear every day; they are meant to reflect a wide range of reader opinion and to allow readers to comment on Post coverage. On Saturdays, an extra letters page, Free For All, gives readers more room to talk back.

Until his death in 2001, Herblock was the Post's editorial cartoonist. He drew cartoons for the Post since 1946 and won four Pulitzer Prizes.

The WaPo Editorial Board members:

Editorial Board

Fred Hiatt
Editorial Page Editor

Colbert I. King
Jackson Diehl
Deputy Editorial Page Editors

Ken Ikenberry
Assistant Editorial Page Editor

Anne Applebaum
Robert Asher
Sebastian Mallaby
Ruth Marcus
Benjamin Wittes
Editorial Writers

Martha McAteer
Letters Editor

Tom Toles
Editorial Cartoonist

This comment from a reader on the WaPo blog says it all:

Just like lipstick on a pig. It's STILL a PIG.
Truly heavy sigh.

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, April 09, 2006

New Bush Joke

New to me, at least.

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving.
Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What happened?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped George Bush. They are asking for a $100 million ransom. Otherwise they are going to douse him with gasoline and set him on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection."

The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?"

"About a gallon."

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Snarky Sermon on the Blog: The Science Guy v Waco, TX

Bill Nye, The Science Guy, is beloved by children and parents everywhere.

Scratch that.

Bill Nye, The Science Guy, is beloved by children and parents everywhere except Waco, TX.

Bill Nye, the harmless children's edu-tainer known as "The Science Guy," managed to offend a select group of idiot adults in Waco when he suggested that the moon does not emit light.

As even most elementary-school graduates know, the moon reflects the light of the sun but produces no light of its own.

But don't tell that to the good people of Waco, who were "visibly angered by what some perceived as irreverence," according to the Waco Tribune.

Visibly angered =
At this point, several people in the audience stormed out in fury. One woman yelled "We believe in God!" and left with three children, thus assuring that people across America would read about the incident and conclude that Waco is as nutty as they'd always suspected.

Go ahead, Waco. Keep showing the world how pig ignorant you are.

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go forth today, knowing that the Bible isn't a science book and that the zealots in Waco will always get press coverage because of their pig ignorance. Don't forgive them this Palm Sunday, for they know exactly what they're doing!

I mean it, damn it!

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, April 08, 2006

What men or gods are these?

With sincere gratitude to Mr. Keats...

When old age shall this generation waste,
Thou shalt remain, in midst of other woe
Than ours, a friend to man, to whom thou say'st,
'Ambassador Wilson was the target and his wife collateral damage,—that is all
Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.'

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Friday, April 07, 2006

This Week's
Backside Of The Bell Curve


(Too stupid to talk and walk at the same time)

Let's get one thing straight: Bob Woodward IS NOT Robert Redford. Bob Woodward's Watergate credentials have been ripped to shreds... by none other than Bob Woodward, himself.

And now, in a piss poor attempt to defend his "reporting/ book writing" (on the run up to the Iraqi invasion) against David Corn's allegations that he left out the important facts, Woodward has stupidly insinuated that President George W. Bush is a serial liar... and he, the great Woodwardo, has known this all along!

Woodward writes to Corn:

Because Plan of Attack, which was published two years ago, covers the meeting in just over a single page (pp. 297-298), you say this is rare opportunity to "fact check" me. You then cite all these revelations in the memo and suggest they were not in the book at all. However, as I mentioned to you on the phone, a reader of Plan of Attack would already know most of this in vastly greater detail by the time he or she got to page 297. The whole thrust of your column is that I missed important elements of the story and presented a "tilted" account. The book itself proves you wrong.

The British memo says, "The start date for the military campaign was now penciled in for 10 March." You suggest I did not report that Bush had decided privately to go to war while publicly asserting otherwise: "Read Woodward's account and you get the impression that Bush...was willing to stick with the United Nations a little longer. Read the Times's account of the memo and you see that Bush had already set a date for war."

This is flat out wrong. Plan of Attack describes in detail that Bush decided well in advance of the January 31st meeting that he was going to war.

What an asshat!

There's a lot more at the link. By the way, if Woodward knew that Bush was determined to go to war and saying publicly that war was a last resort, why didn't he (Woodward) defend Helen Thomas last week?

Helen Thomas: I'd like to ask you, Mr. President, your decision to invade Iraq has caused the deaths of thousands of Americans and Iraqis, wounds of Americans and Iraqis for a lifetime. Every reason given, publicly at least, has turned out not to be true. My question is, why did you really want to go to war? From the moment you stepped into the White House, from your Cabinet - your Cabinet officers, intelligence people, and so forth - what was your real reason? You have said it wasn't oil - quest for oil, it hasn't been Israel, or anything else. What was it?

The President: I think your premise - in all due respect to your question and to you as a lifelong journalist - is that - I didn't want war. To assume I wanted war is just flat wrong, Helen, in all due respect -

Helen Thomas: Everything -

And then, there's this
Bush lie (from March 6, 2003):

If the world fails to confront the threat posed by the Iraqi regime, refusing to use force, even as a last resort, free nations would assume immense and unacceptable risks. The attacks of September the 11th, 2001 showed what the enemies of America did with four airplanes. We will not wait to see what terrorists or terrorist states could do with weapons of mass destruction.

Is Bob Woodward too stupid to know he's stupid?

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Prediction: Snow To Be Replaced
By Card

You have to think like BushCo to see it: Andy Card, useful idiot chief-of-staff, resigns during a GOP call for a White House shake up.

Then, BushCo's Bumiller plants this in the New York Times:

Treasury Secretary Is Said to Be
Thinking of Quitting

Published: April 5, 2006

WASHINGTON, April 4 — Treasury Secretary John W. Snow has expressed interest in leaving his job in the next several months, a person close to him said Tuesday, as speculation raced through Washington that the White House was seeking Mr. Snow's replacement.

Treasury Secretary John W. Snow at the White House Tuesday at a meeting about health care.

President Bush did little to tamp down the talk after a morning meeting about health care in the Roosevelt Room, where he responded with a tepid endorsement to a question about whether Mr. Snow would stay. The Treasury secretary was in the room as the president spoke.

Hm. What should George W. Do if when Snow decides he needs to spend more time with the family? Interview the finest minds in the country?

Get real. This is George W. Bush we're talking about.

The term that needs repeating until these BushCo whackos are long gone is: decent interval. Not that anything they do is decent, but the time frame describes their M O to a T.

They think we won't notice when Andy Card reluctantly accepts Snow's job. They also think they're smart.

Promise: I'll don my tin foil Stetson if I'm wrong.

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Katie Couric Is The George W. Bush Of Network News

Once again, what I thought was a joke has turned out to be reality.

First, it was Ronald Reagan.

Then it was George W. Bush.

Now, Katie Couric is about to be named the evening news anchor at CBS.

Does CBS own enough gauzy filters to accommodate Couric?

Can CBS attract viewers by focusing on Couric's legs?

Infotainment is officially here, isn't it?

Insulting. To women and to all of America.

Here are some Katie Couric interview questions:

To Condoleezza Rice:

QUESTION: As you well know, millions of Iraqis turned out. Election officials believe at least 67 percent of Iraqis voted. It was mostly peaceful. In your opinion, does yesterday's election set the stage for a more independent Iraq that will allow U.S. troops to come home soon?

To Karen Hughes:

QUESTION: Karen, let me start with you, if I could. What were your impressions of Afghanistan?

To J. K. Rowling:

Katie Couric: Once again, J.K. Rowling or Jo Rowling is back, and she's brought a few of her very good friends here, and some dry ice as well. Also here is Jim Dale, who's going to read from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Jim is the voice of Harry Potter and 124 other characters on the audiobook version of all four Harry Potter books. And also, 10 children who won the Scholastic/USA Today essay contest on "How Harry Potter Books Changed My Life." (To the kids in the audience) Hi, everybody, how are you? Good? I feel like a teacher...I'm so glad you're here. Nice to see you. You like my cape? I'm kind of getting into the act.

Katie Couric: All right, Jo, we have another email question that we didn't have time for. And one is about the pronunciation of all of the characters in the book. She says how in the world can you expect her to pronounce all these different characters, and how are you sure that you're getting it right yourself, and she adds that they sound very funny with a Texas accent.
Andy Rooney just told Don Imus that no one at CBS is happy about Couric joining their news team.

Obviously, some suits in the boardroom are happy enough to pay this telebimbo truly big bucks to act stupid every weeknight and show off her legs.

Truly heavy sigh.

So you think you know Delilah?
Judges 16:19--