Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Sing It With Me!


Born is the King of Israel.




Happy Christmas!

See you next year!


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 23rd







Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, December 22, 2007

All I Want For Christmas


Is this what you want, too?







Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 22nd






Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, December 21, 2007

Here Comes The Sun!


And it's online from Newgrange, Ireland.





Solstice 2007

Heritage Ireland are proud to present a "live" webcast of the winter solstice at Newgrange.

The live stream will begin at 8.30 am on 21st and 22nd December 2007.






Blessed be, y'all.


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 21st







Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Holiday Wishes From Jim Hightower


Jim is full of holiday wishes this year...




Jim's fixes sound simple, don't they?


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 20th







Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Romney Vows To Create Gov't Agency That Already Exists


Remember this George W. Idiot gaffe?


"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."β€”St. Charles, Mo., Nov. 2, 2000


Well... fast forward to today:



Romney Calls for Employment Verification System that Already Exists

By Fred Lucas

(CNSNews.com) - Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney suggested there was no way a landscaping company that worked for him could have known its employees were illegal aliens even though the federal government has an employer verification system that any employer in America, on a voluntary basis, can use for free.

And while the system already exists and is in use, Romney called for creating one during an interview on NBC's "Meet the Press" on Sunday.

Of course, a campaign aide had to spin explain:


A Romney spokesman said the governor meant to say he wanted to make the system mandatory for all businesses.

You know why that's so funny?

Have you ever tried to get a paycheck without successfully filing an I-9?

Acceptable I-9 Documents

Employees are required to present either one of the documents from List A or one of the following documents from List B and one of the documents from List C.

List A (Documents that establish both identity and employment eligibility)

* United States Passport
* Permanent Resident Card or Alien Registration Receipt Card (I-551)
* Temporary Resident Card (I-688)
* Employment Authorization Document (I-766, I-688B, or I-688A)
* Foreign Passport with temporary I-551 stamp
* For aliens authorized to work only for a specific employer, foreign passport with Form I-94 authorizing employment with this employer

List B (Documents that establish identity only)

* Driver's license issued by a state or outlying possession
* ID card issued by a state or outlying possession
* Native American tribal document
* Canadian driver's license or ID card with a photograph (for Canadian aliens authorized to work only for a specific employer)
* School ID card with a photography
* Voter's registration card
* U.S.

The fault, dear Brutus, lies not with the laws and regulations already in existence. .. but with Republicans like Romney who're not just too damned ignorant of the laws and agencies already in place but ready and willing to turn a blind eye to the law when and if they can save a few bucks by hiring "illegals" to work for them... while simultaneously vilifying the same "illegal" workers.


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 19th







Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 18th







Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Pick A Number Between 8 & 10 And A Number Between 10 & 12



You Guessed it.

Rudolph 9iu11iani is trying to restart his presidential campaign in Florida.


Saying he's the one man who can "get it done" for the American people, Giuliani returned to the issue that made him a front-runner for most of the year: his image as a leader and the memory of the Sept. 11 attacks.

"I've met adversity before. I've led in situations that seemed hopeless and dire, in need of a miracle," he said. "I don't just hope for miracles. I expect miracles."

When reached for comment, God said, "Don't hold your breath, Asshat."



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, December 17, 2007

Bush's #2 DOD Guy Tells Grads About Ethics

Quick! Call The Irony Police!


FORT WORTH -- On Saturday afternoon, TCU alumnus Gordon England told more than 800 graduates the code he lives by: "Never, ever embarrass your mom."

England, the deputy secretary of defense, earned a master's degree in business administration from TCU's Neeley School of Business in 1975.

He was back on campus Saturday to deliver the commencement address for the August and December classes of 2007.

Today's "What fresh hell is this?" moment: TCU is my alma mater.


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 17th (Helping Hands Hooves Edition)








Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Today's Sermon: Santa- 1; Churches- 0



For those who enjoy keeping score, Santa has been converting entire denominations to his brand of gift-giving Christmas for a very long time.


CHARLESTON, W.Va. - As Christmas draws near, Pastor John Foster won't be decorating a tree, shopping for last-minute gifts or working on a holiday sermon for his flock. After all, it's been 50 years since Christmas was anything more than a day of the week to him.

He's one of very few American Christians who follow what used to be the norm in many Protestant denominations--rejecting the celebration of Christmas on religious grounds.

--snip--

His church's objection to Christmas is rare among U.S. Christians. Gallup polls from 1994 to 2005 consistently show that more than 90 percent of adults say they celebrate Christmas, including 84 percent of non-Christians.

That's a huge change from an earlier era, when many Protestants ignored or actively opposed the holiday. But as it gradually became popular as a family celebration, churches followed their members in making peace with Christmas.

The change didn't happen overnight. Through much of the 19th century, schools and businesses remained open, Congress met in session and some churches closed their doors, lest errant worshippers try to furtively commemorate the day.

Did you know that celebrating Christmas used to be punishable by a fine?


In researching his book, "Christmas: A Candid History," Forbes discovered that major American denominations--Presbyterians, Baptists, Quakers, Methodists and Congregationalists--either ignored the holiday or actively discouraged it until the late 19th century.

That rejection was rooted in the lack of biblical sanction for Dec. 25 as the date of Jesus' birth, as well as suspicion toward traditions that developed after the earliest days of Christianity. In colonial New England, this disapproval extended to actually making the holiday illegal, with celebration punishable by a fine.

As Adrian Monk would say, "Here's what happened":


Christmas benefited from a 19th century "domestication of religion," said University of Texas history professor Penne Restad, in which faith and family were intertwined in a complementary set of values and beliefs.

Christmas became acceptable as a family-centered holiday, Restad said, once it lost its overtly religious significance.

At the same time, aspects of the holiday like decorated trees and gift-giving became status symbols for an aspirant middle class. When Christmas began its march toward dominance among holidays, it was because of a change in the culture, not theology.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today, knowing that Bill O'Reilly's fake-assed "War on Christmas" is a big bunch of phooey.

And ask every "Happy Holidays"-hating zealot to explain exactly what's wrong with wishing someone happy holy days? Chances are, they don't have a clue about the etymology of the word holiday.

And ask them when their particular Christian denomination gave in to pressure and finally began to celebrate Christmas.

I mean it, damn it!



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 16th








Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Who Put The Fear Of God Into George & Laura This Year?


Via The HuffPo, we learn that the White House Xmas card this year is the most religious one Barbara Walters remembers receiving.





The text:


You alone are the LORD.
You made the heavens, even the highest heavens,
and all their starry host, the earth and all that is on it,
the seas and all that is in them.
You give life to everything,
and the multitudes of heaven worship you.
NEHEMIAH 9:6 (NIV)

May the joy of all creation fill your heart this blessed season 2007.

George Bush Laura Bush

Hm. Looks like George & Laura feel the need to distance themselves from some kind of "Thou shalt have no other gods before me" situation, doesn't it? Why else would they choose Nehemiah?

And is that little boy on the card about to pee into the fountain?


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 15th







Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, December 14, 2007

Bush Coins: Our New Petro-Based Money?


You've just got to see this!

My favorite: The 25 gallon "Royal Limbaugh."





Be well!


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 14th





Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 13th





Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Christmas With The Cheneys


What a night! Let Mark Silva tell you all about it...


"Merry Christmas," said Vice President Dick Cheney and wife Lynne, stationed by a white-lighted tree in a parlor of the mansion on the grounds of the U.S. Naval Observatory which serves as the official residence of the second family.

They had filled a huge party tent on the grounds of the hilltop observatory in northwest Washington with an eclectic - OK, about as eclectic as crowds get in Washington - crowd of holiday guests: Power-brokers, former power-brokers and media celebrities.

Some of the other guys who started the war in Iraq were there: Donald Rumsfeld, the former secretary of defense who resigned after the "thumpin'" which the Republicans suffered in the last congressional elections: Paul Wolfowitz, the former deputy defense secretary whose reign as president of the World Bank was cut short by the deal he cut for a girlffriend who worked at the bank (Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is making Wolfowitz chairman of the International Security Advisory Board, an appointment that the White House wasn't ready to comment about this morning); and others.

It wasn't only the Neo-Cons who came out last night. It was the plain Old-Cons (as in Conservatives) as well: Newt Ginrgrich, the former speaker of the House from Georgia who had given a campaign for president some thought this year, but then thought better of the idea; Retiring Sen. Trett Lott of Mississippi, whose career has not been the same since a certain birthday party; and others.

Mike Hayden, the affable Central Intelligence Agency director, was there as well. Hayden, clearly dismayed about the outspokenness of that retired CIA agent who has testified in the media this week to the effectiveness of "waterboarding'' in terrorist interrogations, carried on off the record. Of course, there was a certain "not on my watch'' ease about the CIA chief's demeanor -- his predecessors were responsible for those videotapes of terrorist interrogations which the CIA had destroyed.

Daniel Silva, the affable author of many successful spy thrillers who bears no family relationship to this writer -- though this writer's dad, also named Dan, has read all the books -- was there with his media-star wife, NBC News' Jamie Gangel. And Alan Greenspan, the retired Federal Reserve chairman, was there with his media-star wife, NBC News' Andrea Mitchell.

And, as hundreds milled about in the big tent on the mansion lawn, the Cheneys stood sentry by the Christmas tree posing for photographs with guests filing through the house -- past a bookshelf filled with leatherbound volumes about fly-fishing in America and books about trout.

The Cheneys appeared filled with holiday cheer, with a restrained smile breaking the lips of the vice president greeting the media-stars and lesser lights passing by -- though we didn't talk about too much in passing. And all that we talked about in the big tent with the Neo-Cons Old-Cons and smiling CIA director -- whose wife comes from Chicago, by the way -- well, some things said in Washington do stay in Washington. Not much, but some.

Do visions of ponderous chains come to mind?

Something to consider, isn't it?

I'm traveling today. Be well.




Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Romney's Granfalloon Gambit



I've been reading and rereading Willard Romney's "Mormon Speech" transcript, trying to decide how to describe the bait & switchiness he used to sucker God-fearing Christians.

Then, it came to me. No, not a Joseph Smith-ian "vision."

A Kurt Vonnegut construct.

granfalloon- some distinction or difference which sets members of a group apart from other people who are not part of the group. The purpose of creating a granfalloon is to engender a feeling of "Us versus Them."

Romney asked his audience: Which side are you on, Jesus' side; or the scary secular Jesus-hating atheists' side?

By completely ignoring the differences between Mormonism (on one side) and all Christian denominations (the members of the other side, who mostly define Mormonism as a cult) altogether, Romney's granfalloon speech could only sucker the most ignorant Republican suckers.

And, of course, Romney tried to granfalloon himself with John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

Never heard of granfallooning? Of course, you have!


Raise your hand!
Raise your hand!
Raise your hand if you're SURE!

(Sure Deodorant)


Aren't you glad you use DIAL?
Don't you wish everybody did?

(Dial Soap)



The examples are endless.

The big question: Are you easily suckered by the granfalloon?

How're you fixed for bait & switchiness?
You'd better check!



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 13th






Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 11th







Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Hey, Huckabee! "Submit Yourself Graciously" To This!


The man who talks to God on his cell phone and says that God, not voters, has upped his poll numbers... long ago clarified his belief that women are crap...


In August of 1998, Huckabee was one of 131 signatories to a full page USA Today Ad which declared: "I affirm the statement on the family issued by the 1998 Southern Baptist Convention." What was in the family statement from the SBC? "A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ."

Hey, Huckabee! "Submit Yourself Graciously" To This...





Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, December 10, 2007

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 10th (My money's on Rudolph)







Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Fred Thompson Can't Even Name The Last Ten Presidents



In fact, Fred can't even count the last ten presidents.

Here's what Fred said about Fidel Castro during the GOP's (cough) debate (cough) for Spanish-language audiences:

"I'm going to make sure that he didn't survive 10 U.S. presidents. Castro is unique in many respects. He represents the only non-democratic, at least, elected government in the hemisphere. He is uniquely brutal. He is still tyrannizing his own people. He lures the vulnerable and the naive Americans down there and puts on shows for them and they come back and do his propaganda. There are not many people who can pull that sort of thing off. He's obviously in bad health. That situation, probably, is in God's hands. He will probably be succeeded by someone who's no better than him, and that is Raul. And we should treat Raul with the same contempt that we show Castro, including keeping the embargo on Cuba."

Note to FredCo:

Fidel Castro came to power on Jan. 1, 1959. Come on, Fred. Count with me:

1) Eisenhower
2) Kennedy
3) Johnson
4) Nixon
5) Ford
6) Carter
7) Reagan
8) Poppy Bush
9) Clinton
10)Dubya Bush

Hang it up, Fred. You're too stupid to count to ten.


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 9th

(The new meaning of "He sees you when you're sleeping")







Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Today's Sermon: "Rendering Unto Caesar" Just Means Explaining That $23,000 Marble-Topped Commode


Typical. "Prosperity Gospel" Guy Benny Hinn and his mega-multi-millionaire fellow televangelists don't want the government (aka Caesar) to demand an accurate accounting of their spending habits; however, these same television preachers (aka sheeple herders) will continue demanding the ability to inject religion into government policies with impunity...



...And enjoying their $23,000 marble-topped commodes.

Two decades after a sex and money scandal sent Jim Bakker, head of the PTL Club (Praise the Lord), to jail for several years, a new generation of "prosperity gospel" acolytes is elevating the sanctity of materialism in religion to unseemly heights.

Jesus may have been a pauper, but wealthy televangelists have figured out ways to make obscene amounts of money from his message.

Like other nonprofits, churches and religious ministries don't have to account to the government for the billions they solicit and receive every year. The Internal Revenue Service rarely audits churches or other religious ministries. For that reason it's up to brave public servants like Senator Grassley to bring scrutiny and ask hard questions.

Some religious organizations have voiced concerns about the senator's inquiry, fearing that it might signal the beginning of the regulation of ministries and churches the government doesn't like.

Yet American taxpayers have a right to expect compliance with the law by tax-exempt institutions, religious or secular.

Citing First Amendment concerns, two of the ministries have indicated that they won't comply with the request. This sets up a possible showdown with the Democrat-dominated Senate Finance Committee.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and consider how these pseudo-shamans, these snake oil salesmen, these charlatans have perverted the word profoundly, in order to justify their lifestyles (of the rich and famous) to their flocks.

Verily, they say unto their tithers, "Give enough cash to me, and God will give... er, something... to you."

Ask your mega-church friends today: How rich has God made you, compared to your preacher man?

And ask them why Jesus didn't promise them material wealth in exchange for their belief.

I mean it, damn it!


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, December 08, 2007

Silly Saturday: Don't Come Crying To Me When Your Kids Have Nightmares






Stop doing weird shit to your children. OK?

We now return you to your Silly Saturday shenanigans.



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 8th







Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, December 07, 2007

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 7th








Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

These Are Our Choices: Bush Is Either A Marionette Or A Moron



If you missed this last night, watch it now.

I mean it, damn it!






Here's the transcript:


Finally, as promised, a Special Comment about the President’s cataclysmic deception about Iran.

There are few choices more terrifying than the one Mr. Bush has left us with tonight.

We have either a president who is too dishonest to restrain himself from invoking World War Three about Iran at least six weeks after he had to have known that the analogy would be fantastic, irresponsible hyperbole β€” or we have a president too transcendently stupid not to have asked β€” at what now appears to have been a series of opportunities to do so β€” whether the fairy tales he either created or was fed, were still even remotely plausible.

A pathological presidential liar, or an idiot-in-chief. It is the nightmare scenario of political science fiction: A critical juncture in our history and, contained in either answer, a president manifestly unfit to serve, and behind him in the vice presidency: an unapologetic war-monger who has long been seeing a world visible only to himself.

After Ms Perino’s announcement from the White House late last night, the timeline is inescapable and clear now.

In August, the President was told by his hand-picked Major Domo of intelligence, Mike McConnell, a flinty, high-strung-looking, worrying-warrior who will always see more clouds than silver linings, that what β€œeverybody thought” about Iran might be, in essence, crap.

Yet on October 17th the President said of Iran and its president, Ahmadinejad:

β€œI’ve told people that if you’re interested in avoiding World War III, it seems like you ought to be interested in preventing them from have the knowledge to make a nuclear weapon.”

And as he said that, Mr. Bush knew that at bare minimum there was a strong chance that his rhetoric was nothing more than words with which to scare the Iranians.

Or was it, sir, to scare the Americans?

Does Iran not really fit into the equation here? Have you just scribbled it into the fill-in-the-blank on the same template you used to scare us about Iraq?

In August, any commander-in-chief still able-minded or uncorrupted or both, sir, would have invoked the quality the job most requires: mental flexibility.

A bright man, or an honest man, would have realized no later than the McConnell briefing that the only true danger about Iran was the damage that could be done by an unhinged, irrational Chicken Little of a president, shooting his mouth off, backed up by only his own hysteria and his own delusions of omniscience.

Not Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Mr Bush.

The Chicken Little of presidents is the one, sir, that you see in the mirror.

And the mind reels at the thought of a Vice President fully briefed on the revised intel as long as two weeks ago β€” briefed on the fact that Iran abandoned its pursuit of this imminent threat four years ago β€” who never bothered to mention it to his boss.

It is nearly forgotten today, but throughout much of Ronald Reagan’s presidency, it was widely believed that he was little more than a front-man for some never-viewed, behind-the-scenes string-puller.

Today, as evidenced by this latest remarkable, historic malfeasance, it is inescapable, that Dick Cheney is either this president’s evil ventriloquist, or he thinks he is.

What servant of any of the 42 previous presidents could possibly withhold information of this urgency and this gravity, and wind up back at his desk the next morning, instead of winding up before a Congressional investigation β€” or a criminal one?

Mr Bush β€” if you can still hear us β€” if you did not previously agree to this scenario in which Dick Cheney is the actual detective and you’re the Remington Steele β€” you must disenthrall yourself: Mr Cheney has usurped your constitutional powers, cut you out of the information loop, and led you down the path to an unprecedented presidency in which the facts have become optional, the intel is valued less than the hunch, and the assistant runs the store.

The problem is, sir, your assistant is robbing you β€” and your country β€” blind.

Not merely in monetary terms, Mr. Bush, but more importantly, robbing you of the traditions and righteousness for which we have stood, at great risk, for centuries: Honesty, Law, Moral Force.

Mr. Cheney has helped, sir, to make your administration into the kind our ancestors saw in the 1860’s and 1870’s and 1880’s β€” the ones that abandoned Reconstruction, and sent this country marching backwards into the pit of American Apartheid.

Grant, Hayes, Garfield, Arthur, Cleveland…

Presidents who will be remembered only in a blur of failure, Mr. Bush.

Presidents who will be remembered as functions only of those who opposed them β€” the opponents whom history proved right.

Grant, Hayes, Garfield, Arthur, Cleveland… Bush.

Would that we could let this President off the hook by seeing him only as marionette or moron.

But a study of the mutation of his language about Iran proves that though he may not be very good at it, he is, himself, still a manipulative, Machiavellian, snake-oil salesman.

The Bushian etymology was tracked by Dan Froomkin at the Washington Post’s website.

It is staggering.

March 31st: β€œIran is trying to develop a nuclear weapon…”

June 5th: Iran’s β€œpursuit of nuclear weapons…”

June 19th: β€œconsequences to the Iranian government if they continue to pursue a nuclear weapon…”

July 12th: β€œthe same regime in Iran that is pursuing nuclear weapons…”

August 6th: β€œthis is a government that has proclaimed its desire to build a nuclear weapon…”

Notice a pattern?

Trying to develop, build or pursue a nuclear weapon.

Then, sometime between August 6th and August 9th, those terms are suddenly swapped out, so subtly that only in retrospect can we see that somebody has warned the President, not only that he has gone out too far on the limb of terror β€” but there may not even be a tree there…

McConnell, or someone, must have briefed him then.

August 9th: β€œThey have expressed their desire to be able to enrich uranium, which we believe is a step toward having a nuclear weapons program…”

August 28th: β€œIran’s active pursuit of technology that could lead to nuclear weapons…”

October 4th: β€œyou should not have the know-how on how to make a (nuclear) weapon…”

October 17th: β€œuntil they suspend and/or make it clear that they, that their statements aren’t real, yeah, I believe they want to have the capacity, the knowledge, in order to make a nuclear weapon.”

Before August 9th, it’s: β€œTrying to develop, build or pursue a nuclear weapon.”

After August 9th, it’s: β€œDesire, pursuit, want… knowledge, technology, know-how to enrich uranium.”

And we are to believe, Mr. Bush, that the National Intelligence Estimate this week talks of the Iranians suspending their nuclear weapons program in 2003…And you talked of the Iranians suspending their nuclear weapons program on October 17th…

And that term suspending is just a coincidence?

And we are to believe, Mr. Bush, that nobody told you any of this until last week?

Your insistence that you were not briefed on the NIE until last week might be legally true β€” something like β€œwhat the definition of β€˜is’ is” β€” but with the subject matter being not interns but the threat of nuclear war.

Legally, it might save you from some war crimes trial… but ethically, it is a lie.

It is indefensible.

You have been yelling threats into a phone for nearly four months, after the guy on the other end had already hung up.

You, Mr. Bush, are a bald-faced liar.

And more over, you must have realized that John Bolton, and Norman Podhoretz, and the Wall Street Journal Editorial board, are also bald-faced liars.

We are to believe that the Intel Community, or maybe the State Department, cooked the raw intelligence about Iran, falsely diminished the Iranian nuclear threat, to make you look bad?

And you proceeded to let them make you look bad?

You not only knew all of this about Iran, in early August, but you also knew it was all accurate.

And instead of sharing this good news with the people you have obviously forgotten you represent, you merely fine-tuned your terrorizing of those people, to legally cover your own backside, while you filled the factual gap with sadistic visions of β€” as you phrased it on August 28th: a quote β€œnuclear holocaust” β€” and, as you phrased it on October 17th, quote: β€œWorld War III.”

My comments, Mr. Bush, are often dismissed as simple repetitions of the phrase β€œGeorge Bush has no business being president.”

Well, guess what?

Tonight: hanged by your own words and convicted by your own deliberate lies…

You, sir, have no business being president.

Good night, and good luck.



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 6th (American Idol Edition)








Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Will Mitt The Mormon Talk About Jesus' 3 Wives & Those Celestial Sex Orgies?


Of course, not.

Mitt's Big Love "Mormon Speech" tomorrow will include nothing about Mormonism's extraterrestrial beginnings, gods and goddesses enjoying sex orgies, or Joseph Smith's "lucky discovery" of some ancient golden texts in his backyard.

Psst! Here's everything you (especially you, Christians) need to know about Mormons:




Click here if you have trouble viewing the video.

Fascinating? Yep.

Presidential?

On what planet?


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 5th




Hey, it could happen.



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Is It Tonkin Time? NIE Negates Bush's Iran War Plan; Bush Goes To Israel


What do you do after all 16 of your intelligence agencies tell the world that Iran has no nuclear weapons program?

Announce your your first trip to Israel, of course.

The White House would not disclose details of Bush's itinerary, but an Israeli television station said he will go to Israel for the first time in his presidency.

"The president believes now is an appropriate time to visit the region," said White House press secretary Dana Perino.

It's beginning to look a lot like Tonkin time.



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 4th (Somewhere in the Twilight Zone)






Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

2 Dozen (Out Of 58,748) Show Up To See Rudolph Giuliani


Wow! That's gotta be a record of some kind.

And not in a good way, Rudolph.

But it is hilarious.

Giuliani, the current Republican presidential front-runner, had about two dozen friendly people come to the square to see him β€” about the same number as those shouting for Paul, who is raising record number of dollars but still running in the back of the GOP pack.

Ron Paul? Read on...


It was Rudy Giuliani campaigning for president on the Marietta Square on Sunday afternoon, but anyone listening may well have thought the candidate's name was Ron Paul.

"RON PAUL! RON PAUL! RON PAUL!" β€” a crowd chanted from Glover Park, effectively drowning out comments from the former New York mayor and occasionally changing the chant to "FREEDOM! FREEDOM! FREEDOM!"

Recap: Marietta, Georgia hosted Rudolph The Giuliani, who only drew 24 supporters; another 24 people shouted "Ron Paul! Ron Paul!"

Here's the funniest part:


"You're being very inconsiderate," an elderly woman, aghast at the lack of Southern manners, told three young female Paul acolytes.

"You're not helping your candidate with this," a middle-aged man told a 20-something man toting a blue-and-white Paul campaign sign.

"This is a Republican rally," a testy older man snapped, apparently forgetting that Paul, a physician and Libertarian by philosophy, is an elected Republican and running in the GOP primary for president.

Sherman probably got a better reception in Marietta, Rudolph.


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, December 03, 2007

GOP Prez Poll: Who's Best On Mistress Security?


Watch the video and decide for yourself...




Click here if you have trouble viewing the video.

So, who's best on mistress security?

Polygamy isn't cheating, per se. (Mitt The Mormon heaves a heavy sigh.)

As far as we know, McCain hasn't cheated on this current wife.

Huckabee has lost a ton of weight. Is anyone watching his current campaign trial behavior?

Funny stuff.



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 3rd






Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Xmas Cards We'd Like To Send


Dec. 2nd





Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Today's Sermon: Ginormous Touchdown Jesus


Or is it Ginormous Drowning Jesus?

Or is it I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Jesus?

Today's guest minister: Memoirs of a Gouda


Oh Jesus, That's Funny!

The Solid Rock Church in Mason, OH was always something of a trivial little monstrosity at which I would always gawk while traveling on I-75 either on my way to visit my grandparents in Hamilton or to a ballgame in Cincinnati. With its giant, lighted sign and elaborate Spanish mission architecture, it always seemed to my rather godless senses to be something like a comedic caricature of Christianity, an example of what's wrong with religion in this country, and the place to which I'd only rather go after being sprayed in the mouth with AIDS-tainted blood from a battalion of vampire crack whores in the middle of a Chuck E. Cheese full of screaming, puking preschoolers armed with spiked Whack-a-Mole bats on a 130 degree day. In other words, Solid Rock Church was really not my cup of tea.

Then, I moved away from Ohio, and I knew that if I was going to miss one thing, it wasn't going to be that ostentatious House of Gaud stinking up the countryside between Dayton and Cincinnati. What I didn't realize, however, was that the congregation was cooking up something special at ol' SRC. And that something?

Touchdown Jesus.




Now, this was not the intended name of the Christ-like sculpture rising from a reflective pool (or perhaps sinking into it like the Terminator into the molten steel at the end of Terminator 2: Judgment Day), but that is the label that has been bestowed upon this holy terror (and by "holy terror," I don't mean the 2-year olds who designed it), and in my opinion, it's GOOOOOOOD!

Sorry... I couldn't help myself.

But now I present a YouTube video someone made commemorating this Craptastic Christ Being Sucked Down the Drain. If ever I think this statue had a purpose, it was to make the rest of us laugh. I just hope that the folks at Solid Rock Church aren't suffering from the additional delusion of thinking that they are being laughed with.



Click here if you have trouble viewing the YouTube video.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and consider why a bunch of... um, "Ginormous Jesus" believers in Ohio felt the need to erect such a mockable (cough) work of art (cough). And imagine how many of the less fortunate among us could have been helped with the money spent on Ginormous Touchdown Jesus.

I mean it, damn it!



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Xmas Cards We'd Love To Send


Dec. 1st...




Stay tuned. There are many more.


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--