Guaranteed To Brighten Your Day

How about a little Tom Lehrer?




Taking the rest of the week off.

See you next year!




"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Tradition. Tradition...

Tradition.

OK, Zero Mostel can exit stage left now.

It's Christmas Eve, and NORAD is already tracking Santa's annual trek.

Here's a screenshot:




Enjoy!




"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Oh, The Things You Can Buy

Believe it or not, you can now buy an artificial version of the Charlie Brown Christmas tree...






Think about it. A Charlie Brown Christmas is about shunning the crass materialism of the holiday and returning to the true meaning of Christmas.

Can you do that with an artificial version of Charlie Brown's little tree?

I think not.




"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Today's Sermon: A Christmas Story

Not that Christmas story, silly.

This one...




Now, that's A Christmas Story.





Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and beware the Bumpus hounds. Protect your kids from the Scut Farkases of this world. And celebrate the major awards won by friends and family.

I mean it, damn it!







"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Silly Saturday: Yes, Virginia, Santa Pees

Here's the link to the news story where I found this photo.



"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Stupid Quote Of The Day

"I didn't compromise my soul to be a popular guy."

--George W. Bush

You can't make this Bush quote crap up. If you did, nobody'd believe it.



"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

(Non Union) Honda Sees 'No Prospect For Recovery'

Gee, didn't the Republicans and the media just try to convince us that auto union workers were the problem?

Explain this, then:

TOKYO, Japan (CNN) -- Honda has slashed its earnings forecast for 2008, citing "no prospect for recovery" in the midst of a global recession and slumping worldwide auto sales.
Fukui announces the company's all-new Accord model at a hotel in Tokyo on December 4.

Honda President and CEO Takeo Fukui told reporters on Wednesday that sales "declined rapidly" starting in the fall. The company also announced reduced forecasts for 2009 and matching production cuts "across all businesses."

"The situation is worsening by the day, and there is no prospect for recovery, is our understanding," Fukui told reporters.

Honda projects net income will tumble 69 percent for the year. Original revenue forecasts for 2008 were projected at 12.1 trillion yen ($130 billion) but have been reduced more than 13 percent to 10.4 trillion ($110 billion) -- eating into profits.

Buy American, y'all.



"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Are You Cool Enough To Know What's Important Today?

Of course, you read the news, you watch the news, and you might even listen to the news every day...

But which news stories are important enough to email?

Now you'll never be out of the loop: mostem@ilednews.com has all of the news --that everyone deems fit to email-- on one simple page. With hyperlinks to the original source.

Here's a screenshot:




In my experience, this site takes a while to load. Keep trying.




"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Today's Sermon: What's More Important? Human Life Or Porcelain Baby Jesus?

Too bad, humans. You lose.

Baby Jesus now protected by GPS devices

And now for some good news on the Baby Jesus front. Hooligans who snatch the baby from his manger may think twice now that GPS devices are increasingly being installed to thwart Nativity scene thefts. In the latest case, an 18-year old woman was apprehended for nabbing a Baby Jesus in Florida.

This year, a New York-based security firm is offering a month’s worth of free camera and GPS systems to religious groups and other nonprofits to help battle a growing trend of theft and vandalism for their displays, according to the Associated Press. Approximately 70 churches and synagogues have signed up thus far.

The Guardian reports that a GPS device helped police track down a ceramic Baby Jesus that had been stolen for the second year in a row in Palm Beach County, Fla.

According to the report: “Police were able to track it down to a nearby home where it was found face down on a carpet. An 18-year-old woman is being prosecuted over the theft.”

Face down on the carpet?????!!!!!?????

Oh, the porcelain tragedy!

Ah, Florida. Where there are 723 violent crimes per 100,000 people.

And Porcelain Baby Jesus is more important than people.

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and ponder your relative importance in a land filled with companies more concerned with public relations than fighting violent crime.

And leave Porcelain Baby Jesus alone.

I mean it, damn it!



"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Silly Saturday: Sing Along With Andrew Lloyd Webber

Seriously.




Don't know the lyrics? Open this link in a new window and click on the ALW song title.

There are many, many more videos you can sing along to!

And remember, kids. Never end a sentence with a preposition.

(Silly Saturday hat tip to jossip.com for the original link.)


"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

GOP To Dems: Kill The Union & We'll Approve The Auto Bailout Loan

This stinks to high heaven, y'all.

American. Union. Workers.

They built this country's modern infrastructure, damn it.

And Republicans want them to get the same shitty treatment as Japanese auto workers?

What Republicans fail to mention is that foreign car companies get millions and millions of free American taxpayer dollars, free roads and traffic control, and in some cases they get to use our public school buildings at no cost whatsoever for their private "Japanese after-school and Saturday Schools"... for building an auto plant in one of our states.

When America starts offering UAW children free private school educations, no taxes for their parents' workplace corporations... ever, brand new roads and traffic lights all around the car plants for worker safety, then we'll talk about parity.

Meanwhile, here are Arlo and Pete...




Heavy sigh.



"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

I'll Bet They Didn't Tap Norm Coleman's Phones

Norm Coleman, currently down 4 votes in his Minnesota senate race against Al Franken, is being investigated by the FBI.

I wonder if investigators have done this yet.

Probably not.

Hm. Maybe it's because of the photo caption info (look left).

But, hey, Coleman's a Republican. Nothing to see here, folks. Move along.




"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

4500: Good News or Bad News?

Hm. DC hotels --suddenly-- have 4500 hotel rooms available for Obamapalooza... (1500 of those are inside the beltway) probably because those who reserved them refused to pony up advance fees.

Is this good news or bad news for those hoping to rent their spare bedrooms or homes for some quick cash next month?

Remains to be seen.




"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Now They Tell Us About TB On The DC Metro?

2 months after the fact...

A MetroAccess driver tested positive for tuberculosis this fall. The driver in question was removed from his role in mid-October, but the more pressing concern is the 762 riders that could possibly have caught the airborne infection, which propitiously was not a more advanced, drug-resistant strain of the disease. Those who have tuberculosis can pass the infection by simply being in close contact with others -- the infection spreads through the mouth by coughing and sneezing -- but it can also be spread simply by speaking.

Mid-October?

Check today's date, y'all.

There is some heat coming down on Metro for the considerable delay between the driver's positive test and the written warning to those who may have been at risk, especially since for those involved -- namely elderly riders -- tuberculosis could be a devastating illness, leading to respiratory failure and death. For instance: treated TB has about a 5 percent fatality rate, whereas untreated infections will kill two of every three.

The situation unfortunately casts a serious doubt as to Metro's ability to deal with a public health scare. Based on this story, do any of you have confidence in WMATA to deal with even a small-scale health problem?

It's always the cover up that gets you, isn't it?



"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Today's Sermon: Things That Make You Go HMMM

The answer to a question rarely asked:




Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and ask more questions.

And don't just accept any old answer. Research. Research.

Thus endeth today's sermon.



"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Silly Saturday: Nazi Zombies With Subtitles

The tagline: "Ein Zwei Die!"

It's going to Sundance, and it actually looks fun... in a Shaun of the Dead sort of way:

"Dead Snow," a film from Norway with English subtitles.

I can't believe I like this.

I love, love, love the last line of the trailer!



"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Numbers Guy Is Back: Nielson Needs To Go

Everyone knows that the Nielson TV ratings numbers game has been a total sham for decades.

Employing household panels who volunteer to have their viewing habits tracked (in exchange for a small fee), Nielsen relies on Americans to report back to the company what they watched; Nielsen then expands that sample data to tell media buying agencies and network executives how many people across America tuned in to their show. Nielsen's entire measurement panel includes just 14,000 households; in 2000, the U.S. Census Bureau clocked 105,480,101 households in America. That means Nielsen uses just 0.0132 percent of the population to determine this nation's viewing habits.

The whole thing is flawed.

Finally, Al Gore's Current TV network is pointing out that the emperor is naked has a totally inadequate sampling size.

Thanks, Al!



"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

The Ultimate Description Of The GWB Presidency

Enough said.

Truly heavy sigh.






"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

I Just Don't Like Her

Ask any veteran public school teacher to comment on DC Superintendent Michelle Rhee's assessment of the age-old battle (Creativity cannot be measured by standardized tests, so concentrate on fundamentals only), and I'll bet that the dull-witted handout kings & queens are the only ones who'd agree with her. Here's the quote:

"The thing that kills me about education is that it's so touchy-feely," she tells me one afternoon in her office…"People say, 'Well, you know, test scores don't take into account creativity and the love of learning,'" she says… “I'm like, 'You know what? I don't give a crap.' Don't get me wrong. Creativity is good and whatever. But if the children don't know how to read, I don't care how creative you are. You're not doing your job."

Yes, reading is fundamental, Michelle.

But sucking the life out of children is just plain evil.

And a spoon full of sugar (creative lesson planning, Michelle) makes the medicine (embarrassing the kids in front of their peers) go down, darlin'.

Michelle is a media-sucking limelight whore who has no business running any school system.

And she's too stupid to realize that Time Magazine dressed her up as a witch for the cover... and not the "sweeping reformer" she imagined she'd look like.



"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.

Laura Bush Will Miss The Hired Help Most Of All

Don't even pretend to be surprised, y'all.

"I'll miss all the people that are around us all the time. From the ushers and the butlers who are there for every president and have been there four or five administrations, to our own staff, of course, that we love to laugh with and talk with and solve problems with. And so I'll miss the people the most."

Laura Bush.

Clueless to the bitter end... and beyond.

Truly heavy sigh.




"For the great majority of mankind are satisfied with appearances, as though they were realities, and are often more influenced by the things that seem than by those that are."
-Niccolo Machiavelli (1469-1527)



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19-- And she made him (Samson) sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head.