Saturday, June 30, 2007

That's Not Dick Cheney's Head; It's Just The Moon

Watch for a "moon illusion" after sunset tonight. You know... When the moon looks twice as big as usual? Like In that movie, "Moonstruck."

On Saturday night, June 30th, step outside at sunset and look around. You'll see a giant moon rising in the east. It looks like Earth's moon with the usual craters and seas, but something's wrong. This full moon is strangely inflated. It's huge!

You've just experienced the Moon Illusion.

Sky watchers have known for thousands of years that low-hanging moons look unnaturally big. Cameras don't see it, but human eyes do; it's a genuine illusion.

Above: A time-lapse sequence of the moon rising over Seattle. To the camera, the moon appears to be the same size no matter what its location on the sky. Credit and copyright: Shay Stephens. [More]

This weekend's full moon hangs lower in the sky than any other full moon of 2007, so the Moon Illusion is going to be strong. What makes the moon so low? Consider the following: The sun and full moon lie on opposite sides of the sky. They are like a see-saw: when one is high, the other is low. Because the summer solstice was just last week (June 21st), the sun is near its highest point in northern skies. The full moon is correspondingly low.

When you look at the moon, rays of moonlight converge and form an image about 0.15 mm wide in the back of your eye. High moons and low moons make the same sized spot. So why does your brain think one is bigger than the other? After all these years, scientists still aren't sure of the answer.

Here's hoping you have a pleasant "Moonstruck" Moment this evening!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, June 29, 2007

Night Of The Living-Dead BushBots

If it's Friday, my weekly column at must be posted.

This week's column, Night Of The Living-Dead BushBots, notes the similiarities between scary summer movies and brain-dead Bushbots.


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Armstrong Williams: "Ann Coulter Isn't A Real Republican"

Did you see Armstrong Williams (aka GOP Water carrier) tell Chris Matthews that Ann Coulter isn't part of the Republican mainstream? Isn't recognized by the GOP as part of its fold? That she's waaay out there in her own world and only cares about making money selling books and writing her columns?

Hm. Let's see...

Last year, at the Conservative Political Action Conference, Ann Coulter referred to Muslims as “ragheads” and “jihad monkeys.” She was so well-received that she was invited back this year, where for an encore she referred to Democratic Presidential Candidate John Edwards as a “faggot.”

Yeah, those GOPers really hate Ann Coulter, don't they?

Then, of course, Williams proceeded to attack Elizabeth Edwards as a campaign operative, whose only goal was to call attention to --and raise $$ for-- her husband's presidential hopes.

Armstrong Williams pretends to be a journalist, but he obviously had no idea that John & Elizabeth Edwards DID NOT, in fact, have a bumper sticker that read "Ask me about my dead son" until Chris Matthews pointed out that that was a lie.

Armstrong Williams...

"Journalist," my ass.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

And What's Your Opinion Of The President, Faith Hill?

Good answer!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

If Cheney Resigns "For Health Reasons," Indict His Ass Anyway!

See Dick smile. Smile, Dick. Smile... you arrogant SOB!

According to Sally Quinn, Senator John Warner (the former Mr. Elizabeth Taylor) may be the short-straw delegate to tell Dubya that Cheney has to go. And go now.

Removing a sitting vice president is not easy, but this may be the moment. I remember Barry Goldwater sitting in my parents' living room in 1973, in the last days of Watergate, debating whether to lead a group of senior Republicans to the White House to tell President Nixon he had to go. His hesitation was that he felt loyalty to the president and the party. But in the end he felt a greater loyalty to his country, and he went to the White House.

Today, another group of party elders, led by Sen. John Warner of Virginia, could well do the same. They could act out of concern for our country's plummeting reputation throughout the world, particularly in the Middle East.

For such a plan to work, however, they would need a ready replacement.

Also, Quinn's prediction for Cheney's replacement: Fred Thompson.

Everybody loves Fred. He has the healing qualities of Gerald Ford and the movie-star appeal of Ronald Reagan. He is relatively moderate on social issues. He has a reputation as a peacemaker and a compromiser. And he has a good sense of humor.

"Everybody loves Fred."

Pardon me while I puke.

Of course, "Fred The Sitting VP" (with his arm candy wife) is absurd. But so was Spiro Agnew, and his name is forever etched in the history books as twice-elected Vice President of the United States.

Exit Cheney? Ain't that a swiftboat kick in the pants?

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, June 25, 2007

News From Planet OH RIGHT SURE!


The White House DOESN'T want the people to read a Senate report, wherein the CIA & the rest of our Intel orgs get blamed for bogus Iraq WMD claims?

White House opposes move to declassify report on Iraq's WMDs

WASHINGTON (Map, News) - The White House is resisting a move by both Republicans and Democrats to fully declassify a Senate report on Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction.

Republicans say the public disclosure would help show that the CIA made honest mistakes in its 2002 assessment that Iraq owned stockpiles of WMDs, when in fact it no longer did.

But the White House believes the declassification would trigger another round of negative news media coverage and Democratic-led congressional hearings, said a Senate Republican
, who asked to remain anonymous because of ongoing private discussions.

The dispute revolves around an obscure federal panel, the nine-member Public Interest Declassification Board.

Last November, incoming Senate Intelligence Committee Chairman John D. Rockefeller, D-W.Va., and the outgoing chairman, Sen. Pat Roberts, R-Kan., signed a letter to the board asking for a review of two committee reports.

Do you believe a word of this?

Clap if you believe in fairies.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Snarky Sermon on the Blog: Be Not Half-Assed!

If the spirit moves you... And you feel you must go around preaching to the masses, at least have the courage to do it big time, like this militant agnostic...

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and watch for signs of militant agnosticism in your neighborhood...

And be not half-assed about your beliefs, your doubts, and/or your convictions... For they shall know you by your pimped-out... um, JesusAndTheBigApeMobile.

I mean it, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Red, White & Blue Stick To Cheney Like, Ya Know, Glue

Now that The Dick has declared that he's his own 4th branch of government, one can only wonder why he thinks he's above the law. How did The Dick get so powerful?

Duh. Stupid people! Like, ya know, The Dick is so patriotic that red, white & blue just stick to him like... ya know, glue.

Any questions?

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, June 22, 2007

If Dick Cheney Isn't "Part Of The Executive Branch," WTF Is He?

We've got a guy -a smarmy, evil guy- sitting in the Vice President's office, sucking the life out of the country for fun and profit, who now claims that he's "not part of the executive branch."

Washington, D.C. -- The Oversight Committee has learned that over the objections of the National Archives, Vice President Cheney exempted his office from the presidential order that establishes government-wide procedures for safeguarding classified national security information. The Vice President asserts that his office is not an "entity within the executive branch."

What do you do with a guy like this?

Who's going to step up and take this guy on?

Who can stop this madness?



Bueller? Bueller?


Where's Hannibal Lecter when you need him?

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Quitting Bush Administration "Good For Mental Health"

"Spending more time with the family" has become the joke of resignation reasons (trans. "Gettin' the hell out of Dodge while the getting's good!") from high-profile jobs. Thus spake Rob Portman this week (sort of):

When asked whether he was quitting the Bush administration because it would be good for his political future, Rob Portman, the outgoing budget director, replied: “It would be good for my mental health.” Although Mr Portman was joking, a growing list of officials have already acted on that impulse.

Still think Portman was joking?

I don't.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Rove Sends A Text Message & Bush Responds

Rove sends a text message...


u da man. u could eat a live kitten & get away w/it.


And Bush responds...

Just another day in Dubyaville.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Bob Woodward's (35-Years-Later) Moment Of DUH

You can't make this stuff up:

A reader from Rancho Mirage, Calif., asked: "In light of Watergate, why did the "investigative" branch of the press miss so badly on the Bush-Cheney spin machine to justify Iraq? Was the lesson of Watergate wasted, or was the press serving the country well?"

Woodward replied: "I think the press and I in particular should have been more aggressive in looking at the run-up to the Iraq war, and specifically the alleged intelligence that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction stockpiles. To answer the WMD question before the March 2003 invasion would have been a monumental task, but one that we should have undertaken more systematically."

Later, in response to a similar question, he added: "I think we've learned a lot from Watergate and from the handling of controversy and scandal in all the presidents' administrations since then. At the same time, as I said earlier, I wish everyone would be more aggressive -- the press and the Congress, and in developing a fuller system of accountability. Hopefully those in government also would see the value of transparency. Speaking openly and honestly gets issues out on the table, and as Nixon himself once said, 'it's the coverup that always matters.'"

Bread, meet butter.

Hold onto that synaptic leap, Bob.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, June 18, 2007

NBC's Brian Williams: GE "Terrorism Biz Guy" Or Just Another Dim Bulb?

You can't make this up:

Accompanying (New York Mayor) Bloomberg on his daily subway trip, with two police bodyguards, from Gracie Mansion to City Hall, Williams questioned the mayor about the vulnerability of the subway system to terrorist attacks. Bloomberg noted that he would ride four subway trains that day and had no qualms doing so, going on to say that one was more likely to be hit multiple times by lightning than become a victim of a terrorist subway attack.

That’s when Williams, demurring, prefaced his concerns with “we in the terrorism business.”

Crikey! Delusions of grandeur much, Brian?

Brian Williams is one of the not-so-good-things GE "brings to light."

Hm. "Dim bulb" comes to mind.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Snarky Sermon on the Blog: How To Start Your Own Religion (A 12 Step Plan)

I'm traveling today; therefore, go forth and click on Captain Smack's sermon, How to Start Your Own Religion (A 12-Step Plan), which addresses our most pressing questions:

Why are we here?
How did it all begin?
What is our real purpose?
Is Tom Cruise gay or what?



Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Bush Jumps The Smirk

Forget jumping the shark.

Bush has finally jumped the smirk.

And nobody smirks like George W. Bush, except maybe serial killer Ted Bundy...

Naah! Even Bundy couldn't top Bush's latest smirk...

Can Bush top this smirk?

Maybe, but I doubt it.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, June 15, 2007

Bernstein's Clinton Butt-Biting... er, Busted

It had to happen.

After Bob Woodward's embarrassing fall from grace (He's not Robert Redford, y'all), it was a matter of time befroe Carl Bernstein (He's no Dustin Hoffman, either) followed suit.

Here's hoping Senator Clinton gets a good laugh from this...

O’REILLY (6/5/07): Did she break the law?


O’REILLY: OK. Good, I like this. How did she break the law?

BERNSTEIN: She broke the law if, indeed, she perjured herself.

O’REILLY: Well, you just said she did break the law.

BERNSTEIN: No. The special prosecutor determined that she did not. So he did not file the charge.

O’REILLY: So you think she did. But the special prosecutor, Ken Starr, said no.

BERNSTEIN: That is correct. You know what? Let me be really straightforward. I don’t think she broke the law. I think there was a time that she did not tell the truth.

O’REILLY: Under oath?

BERNSTEIN: You know, I wasn’t in the room.

Who's on first, Carl?

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Libby Pardon Watch Begins Now

Scooter Libby, barring some Hail-Mary intervention by some wingnut appeals court crap (or some horrible Plutonium-poisoning and/or small plane accident) has to go to prison...

30-45 days from now.

Dubya, Scooter begs your pardon.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Even Republicans Think Fred Thompson Sucks

And they're not even talking about his trophy wife's... um, ample assets.

From How to fix the Republican funk:

Republicans have purged the alternative vision that made their party fresh and exciting.

Back to Fred Thompson's speech in Orange Country as case in point.

The former senator from Tennessee devoted a good portion of his remarks to boilerplate phrases and buzzwords that appeal to a conservative crowd ("Wouldn't it be great if, instead of worrying so much about how to divide the pie, we could work together on how to make the pie bigger?")

But Thompson did take a brave step into substance and this was most revealing and concerning. "...there is nothing more urgent than the fate that is awaiting our Social Security and Medicare programs." What's his answer? "If grandmom and granddad think that a little sacrifice will help their grandchildren when they get married, try to buy a home or have children, they will respond to a credible call to make that sacrifice..."

Thompson is supposed to be the guy to fill the Reagan void. Can anyone imagine Reagan saying anything like this?

OK, Grandma! Hand over a portion of your $800-$900 Social Security check for the good of the nation!

Just because Fred Thompson thinks you should.

What an assbite. And I'm not talking about his wife, either.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Pickpocket- 1; Bush- 0

George Bush's watch ''vanishes'' in Albania

US President George W. Bush lost his watch while meeting crowds in Albania, EFE news agency reports, quoting local TV stations. Albanian TV channels broadcast images of the US leader who was left without a watch while greeting the crowds during his trip to the Balkan country. A White House spokesman denied the news, however.

The footage shows Bush shaking hands with Albanian admirers and all of a sudden somebody grips his wrist. The next frame shows him without a watch.
The funniest part of the whole story?

Tony Snow says Bush pocketed his own watch... not a pickpocket.

Who're ya gonna believe? Lyin' Tony Snow or your own eyes?

Having trouble viewing the YouTube video? Click here.

And remember...

There's nothing (Repeat: NOTHING) Bushbots won't lie about.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, June 11, 2007

Psst! Want A $400K DC House At The Corner Of Gang & War?

From The Washington Post:

While crews have existed for years, gang fighting exploded last summer and has not slowed since, said Alexander Padro, 43, who has lived in Shaw for 10 years.

Last summer "was the first time I've heard daytime fire," he said. "To me, that was the first time it really became a concern."

Since then, Padro said, police cruisers became fixtures on most corners, neighbors limited their outdoor time, bloggers monitored the shootings and homeowners didn't repair bullet holes in their houses for fear of having to fix them again anyhow. So, the truce was good news for many Shaw residents, but he said they are waiting to see if it sticks.

"The longer we go without hearing six shots fired in the dark, the safer we will feel," Padro said.

6th Street NW is the dividing line for warring gangs? Thank goodness the gangs declared a truce last Thursday night! Just 4 blocks down the street, the cheapest "recently renovated" neighborhood house for sale is ready for new owners...

Completely renovated 1100 sqft 3bd/2.5 ba home in NW w/all the bells & whistles.Stainless steel appliances,forced air heating & central AC,hrdwd flrs,granite counter tops,high ceilings,& bay windows on each lvl provide gorgeous lighting.Entire upper lvl,Master ste loft includes walkin closet & mstr bath w/jacuzzi tub.Two junior-sized rooms in Eng. bsmt.10 min walk to NY Ave metro & Instant equity!

Hm. "Complete with live gun violence" isn't mentioned in the realtor's remarks, is it?

Want to bet that the realtor is hoping for an out-of-town, sight-unseen buyer who doesn't know the District?

Truly heavy sigh.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

"This Space Still Evolving" Sign At The Creation Museum

Will someone please stop these idiots from humiliating themselves (for they know not what they do)?

Too funny!

For a snarky blogger's photo tour of the $27 million "museum," click here.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Snarky Sermon on the Blog: Born-Again Atheism

Everyone's yakking about Richard Dawkins' new book this week. And the latest crap-meme, "New Atheism" sounds like "Born-Again Christian"... with a twist, doesn't it?

Dawkins, however, is just the latest in a long line of writers to question the belief systems of the absolute believers (aka the churchiologists)...

Perhaps it would be wise to pass over the theologians in silence. That short-tempered and supercilious crew is unpleasant to deal with. . . . They will proclaim me a heretic. With this thunderbolt they terrify the people they don't like. Their opinion of themselves is so great that they behave as if they were already in heaven; they look down pityingly on other men as so many worms. A wall of imposing definitions, conclusions, corollaries, and explicit and implicit propositions protects them. They are full of big words and newly-invented terms. . . .

. . . Next to the theologians in happiness are those who commonly call themselves the religious and monks. Both are complete misnomers, since most of them stay as far away from religion as possible, and no people are seen more often in public. They are so detested that it is considered bad luck if one crosses your path, and yet they are highly pleased with themselves. They cannot read, and so they consider it the height of piety to have no contact with literature.... Most of them capitalize on their dirt and poverty by whining for food from door to door. . . . These smooth fellows simply explain that by their very filth, ignorance, boorishness, and insolence they enact the lives of the apostles for us. It is amusing to see how they do everything by rule, almost mathematically. Any slip is sacrilege. each shoe string must have so many knots and must be of a certain color. . . . They even condemn each other, these professors of apostolic charity, making an extraordinary stir if a habit is belted incorrectly or if its color is a shade too dark. . . . The monks of certain orders recoil in horror from money, as if it were poison, but not from wine or women. They take extreme pains, not in order to be like Christ, but to be unlike each other. Most of them consider one heaven an inadequate reward for their devotion to ceremony and traditional details. They forget that Christ will condemn all of this and will call for a reckoning of that which He has prescribed, namely, charity.


Of course, Erasmus was not the first to question organized religion. At the first Council of Nicea, Unitarianism lost by one vote, as did the divinty of Jesus' mother.

“The Trinity was carried in a general council by one vote against a quaternity; the Virgin Mary lost an equality with the Father, Son, and Spirit only by a single suffrage.”

John Adams to Benjamin Rush, June 12, 1812

Still not convinced?

The wording of Colossians 1:15 is NOT “the firstborn of all creation” it is “the Firstborn OVER all Creation” (my emphasis). The word Firstborn here is used to imply sovereignty over all Creation. The word is a fairly common Old Testament designation of the Messiah-God. “I will also appoint Him My Firstborn, the most exalted of the kings of the earth” (Ps 89;27). Watch out for little wording plays like that, Jehovah’s Witnesses wrongly add the word “other” six times in this passage in their New World Translation. This, they assert that Christ created all other things after He was created. But the word “other” is not in the Greek.

As for this "New Atheism" meme, don't fungelicals have anyone left to burn at the stake... that they now have to create a new & improved brand of... people to brand as heretics?

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today and tell the religious door knockers in your neighborhood to get back to you when they can debate the Marcionites v the Ebionites with gusto.

Or, just tell them what Jack Nicholson said in "As Good As It Gets":

Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.

I mean it, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Naked Terror: From "Napalm Girl" To Paris Hilton

Photographer Nick Ut snapped this universe-altering photo on June 8, 1972:

And Nick Ut snapped this photo on June 8, 2007:

Nick Ut recognizes naked terror when he sees it.

Wherever he sees it.

And I'll bet he recognizes irony, as well.

Truly heavy sigh.

(Hat tip to my friend Hamlette for this great catch!)

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, June 08, 2007

Bush's "Stomach Virus": Your President Got Drunk & Puked His Guts Out

Here's the "official" version propaganda version...

HEILIGENDAMM, Germany (Reuters) - U.S.
President George W. Bush fell ill on the final day of a Group of Eight summit with a stomach ailment but his condition is not serious, a White House official said on Friday.

Bush hoped to return to summit meetings later in the day, White House counselor Dan Bartlett told reporters.

"Not sure if it's a stomach virus yet or something like that, but (he's) just not feeling well in the stomach, and guess he didn't want to follow in the footsteps of his father in Asia," (White House counselor)Dan Bartlett said.

"Stomach virus," my ass.

U.S. President George Bush enjoys a cold drink in historic Heiligendamm, Germany, Thursday, June 7, 2007. The leaders of the G8 nations are holding their annual summit in the sea resort on June 6-8, 2007. (AP Photo/Christophe Ena)

CAPTION CLARIFICATION - REISSUING TO CLARIFY THAT PRESIDENT BUSH IS DRINKING A NON-ALCOHOLIC BEER. U.S. President George W. Bush enjoys a non-alcoholic beer before an official dinner in Heiligendamm June 7, 2007. Leaders from the world's major industrialised nations meet in the Baltic resort of Heiligendamm on June 6-8 for a Group of Eight (G8) summit. REUTERS/Philippe Wojazer (GERMANY)

U.S. President George Bush laughs while enjoying drinks with colleagues in historic Heiligendamm, Germany, Thursday, June 7, 2007. The leaders of the G8 nations are holding their annual summit in the Baltic sea resort on June 6-8, 2007. (AP Photo/Christophe Ena)

Unless Bush shows up with Polonium Poisoning Face in the near future, I'm sticking with "Bush got drunk & puked his guts out."

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Forget "Rosebud." Many More Are Now Whispering "Abramoff"

It's time to revisit one of my old blog posts... Remember this?

Fast forward to today...

(Italia) Federici is the 12th person to face charges as part of the Justice Department's influence-peddling probe arising from Abramoff's conduct. Aside from Abramoff and Griles, other officials who have pleaded guilty include the Interior Department's former Mariana Islands desk officer, Roger Stillwell; Rep. Bob Ney, R-Ohio, and his former chief of staff, Will Heaton; Mark Zachares, a former staffer for Rep. Don Young, R-Alaska; and former Abramoff associates Michael Scanlon, Tony Rudy, Neil Volz and Adam Kidan. David Safavian, the former top procurement officer at the Office of Management and Budget, also was convicted on four charges of making false statements and obstructing justice stemming from his dealings with Abramoff.


Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Joe Scarborough's Buttcrack-Impersonating Face Is Gonna Freeze Like That!

Stop. Rewind. Change tense.

Joe Scarborough's Buttcrack-impersonating face froze like that a long time ago.

As for CNN's alternative, John Roberts...

It's got to be humiliating playing Katie Couric on CNN's morning yawner after all of those years as a serious news correspondent.

The upside for Roberts? The fact that Katie Couric has destroyed the CBS Evening News.


Suck it, MSNBC.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who refuses to watch your lame-assed morning show as long as you keep shoving neocon crap at us. And, if you're hoping I'll tune in just to see how outrageous your buttcrack-faced boy can be, you're sadly mistaken.

If this is your idea of sure-thing programming, you'll probably screw over Keith Olbermann and lose him, too.

Pitiful. Just pitiful.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Scarborough Slams The Trophy Wife

I was going to blog about Fred Thompson's wife... You know, making some kind of snarky statement about her First Lady milk jugs (or noting the peek-a-boo lacework on her white wedding gown)...

But Joe Scarborough beat me to it. Here's what I was going to post:
The happy couple on their wedding day...

Wait! Is that cut-away lacework?

But, before I could even enlarge that photo and upload it...

Joe Scarborough (R- Dead Intern in the office, but I'll just quit so no one will notice) uses the "pole" word. Wow! He must really want that morning gig on MSNBC.

Does Fred Dalton Thompson's boobalicious wife "work the pole?"


SCARBOROUGH: Have you seen Fred Thompson’s wife?
SCARBOROUGH: You think she thinks she works the pole?
CRAWFORD: That’s what a Hollywood career will do for you, I guess.
SCARBOROUGH: What do you mean?
CRAWFORD: You get wives like that.
SCARBOROUGH: I mean, look at that guy. God bless him, I love his voice. But I mean, you know. He ain’t Robert Redford in “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.”
CRAWFORD: Well I would like to see him back into politics because I think he’s a lousy actor.

What's Scarborough up to? You decide.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Monday, June 04, 2007

Happy Libby Sentencing Eve!

I'm off to Amish Country for the day.

Meanwhile, tomorrow is Libby Sentencing Day.

Are you ready?

Popcorn? Check.

Noisemakers? Check!

Bush Pardon Countdown Calendar? Working on it.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Snarky Sermon on the Blog: The Christian S&M "Spanking" Biz

The internet tubes were all abuzz this week about Christian "Spanking" books and clothing items for sale on a website called "Christian Domestic Discipline," where "Loving Wife Spanking in a Christian Marriage" is the main event.

Before you explore the soft-porn fiction, the crotchless pantaloons and other items for sale on the website, here's a quote from the homepage:

Though we recognize by its very nature this subject can be erotic, we will keep this website as clean and wholesome as possible. However, we will not seek to deny the erotic nature of some CDD marriages as we believe it is a natural consequence of following God's plan. After all, He created eroticism to be enjoyed inside a Christian marriage.

Ready to explore the site? Here's a good place to begin:

When we look at Biblical authority, we see that anywhere it is given, the right and means to enforce it is given as well. Otherwise, why would those in authority have to answer for the behavior of those under them? It is no different with our husbands. Having been given authority over their wives, they have the right in God’s eyes to enforce their rule. Authority without the means to back it up is a sham and the person in that position no more than a figurehead. True authority always comes with the right of enforcement.

Many husbands feel unworthy of enforcing their authority. They realize they are not perfect and wonder what gives them the right to correct their wives when they themselves sin. The answer is their God-given position. Outside of God, no one is perfect, but those in authority have a responsibility to see their will enforced. Your boss at work is not perfect, yet no one thinks a thing about it when an employee is reprimanded, required to work overtime to fix a mistake, or suffers some other penalty for misbehavior. No parent is perfect, but we know it is necessary for the child’s own sake that he be corrected. It is no different with a husband. He is not perfect, but he has a responsibility to God and to his wife to correct her when she sins, for her own sake, for her marriage’s sake, and for the Kingdom’s sake.

I am often asked, “But who corrects him?”

My answer is always, “God corrects him.”

In a marriage, a husband is answerable to the Lord for how he lives his life and how he treats one of the King’s daughters.

The site's author notes that CDD is nothing new. In fact, here's a little "historical reference" on the site:

Your wife should not pursue an acquaintance with wizards or sorcerers. She must not practice sorcery herself. She should not allow her male and female peasants into the household buildings.

Criminy! Then, the author has the nerve to cite an 1868 court ruling:


61 N.C. 453; 1868 N.C. LEXIS 38; 1 Phil. Law 453

January, 1868, Decided

PRIOR HISTORY: [**1] ASSAULT AND BATTERY, tried before Little, J., at Fall Term, 1867, of the Superior Court of WILKES.

The defendant was indicted for an assault and battery upon his wife, Elizabeth Rhodes. Upon the evidence submitted to them the jury returned the following special verdict:

"We find that the defendant struck Elizabeth Rhodes, his wife, three licks, with a switch about the size of one of his fingers (but not as large as a man's thumb), without any provocation except some words uttered by her and not recollected by the witness."

His Honor was of opinion that the defendant had a right to whip his wife with a switch no larger than his thumb, and that upon the facts found in the special verdict he was not guilty in law.

While S&M is not my idea of a good time (No way; No how!), I suppose there are people out there who can and do practice such physical acts without debasing and/or harming others. Of course, anything's possible, right? I mean, the ghost of Elvis could be walking the streets of Memphis right now in the realm of "All things are possible." Or in The Twilight Zone.

As for the historical church's strict doctrinaires, that website's glossary is just plain creepy, especially the entries for "Maintenance Spanking" and "Pre-emptive Spanking."

No wonder this magazine is gaining in popularity...

Thus endeth today's sermon.

Go forth today in the knowledge that a lot of women may put up with crap for a while, but would you want to be on the "Spankee" side of a bruised, scarred woman packing heat?

Think about it before you reach for that switch, "Spanker" Wannabes.

I mean it, damn it!

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Fancy Math v The Monster Hog

Stinky Journalism debunks the story of the 11 year old who claimed he shot and killed a wild hog, but the comments after the blog post indicate that there are still twits out there who prefer fantasy to fact.

If you missed the story, this kid claims he killed a ginormous hog... a "Monster Hog," if you will... and he has the "photo evidence" to prove it. Last week this photo was one of the most-emailed at

Wow! That looks really cool, doesn't it?

But so does this one...

Now, look at the kid and the hog again...

That hog has individual hairs the size of Texas.

Stinky Journalism turns to an expert (this is where the math comes in) to explain perspective:

So what's the point?

Forget "You can fool some of the people some of the time." There are plenty of people out there (Read the comments posted after Stinky Journalism's debunking post) who actually want to be fooled. Here's one now:

It's amazing to me that all of the viewers of this site noticed the most scrutinized photo the boy is clearly resting his elbow on his knee. But the "experts" and people of this site haven't noticed in all of the times they've viewed it?!?!?!? Clearly there is a biased agenda here. Congrats on convincing a few readers you've "debunked" something that is proabably true. They (the hunter and family) have provided stories and pictures of their feat, this site has provided nothing but made up scenarios on how the pictures "could" be faked.

They "provided stories and pictures."

Duh. Clap if you believe in fairies...

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--

Friday, June 01, 2007

Oh, No! "White, Christian, Male Power Structure" In Jeopardy!

Leave it Bill O'Reilly (and bobbleheading-in-agreement, John McCain) to scare the Bejesus out of any white male who might be considering voting Democratic next time.


Bill O'Reilly: But do you understand what the New York Times wants, and the far-left want? They want to break down the white, Christian, male power structure, which you're a part, and so am I, and they want to bring in millions of foreign nationals to basically break down the structure that we have. In that regard, Pat Buchanan is right. So I say you've got to cap with a number.

John McCain:
In America today we've got a very strong economy and low unemployment, so we need addition farm workers, including by the way agriculture, but there may come a time where we have an economic downturn, and we don't need so many.


But in this bill, you guys have got to cap it. Because estimation is 12 million, there may be 20 [million]. You don't know, I don't know. We've got to cap it.

McCain: We do, we do. I agree with you.

With that disgusting exchange in mind, consider this:

A globe-trotting Atlanta lawyer with a dangerous strain of tuberculosis was allowed back into the U.S. by a border inspector who disregarded a computer warning to stop him and don protective gear, officials said Thursday.

The inspector has been removed from border duty.

The unidentified inspector explained that he was no doctor but that the infected man seemed perfectly healthy and that he thought the warning was merely "discretionary," officials briefed on the case told The Associated Press. They spoke on condition of anonymity because the matter is still under investigation.

TB Warning Guy "seemed" perfectly healthy? Check.

White? Check.

Christian? More than likely... Check.

Male? Check.

Powerful-looking? Check.

What you see on the surface can't possibly hurt you, right? Check.

Hm. I noticed that the article on TB Guy didn't mention whether or not Border Guard Guy might now be worried about his own health.

Interesting. Very interesting.

By the way, John McCain was so proud of his O'Reilly performance that he posted the video of that crappy anti-feminine, anti-excess skin pigment conversation on his website.

Truly heavy sigh.

Best bar bet in the world: Delilah didn't do it.
Judges 16:19--