Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Contest Update

I'm still getting entries.

I'll announce the winner of

The George W. Bush "Noble Cause" Contest

on Friday!

Thanks, everyone!

Yet Another Reason
For Invading Iraq

''If Zarqawi and bin Laden gain control of Iraq, they would create a new training ground for future terrorist attacks, they'd seize oil fields to fund their ambitions. They could recruit more terrorists by claiming a historic victory over the United States and our coalition."

George W. Oil Man
August 30, 2005
Coronado, CA

Let me get this straight...

Bin Laden & Zarqawi are going into the oil biz after taking over all of Iraq?

They'll be able to rebuild the infrastructure so that the oil flows again?

And the world will do business with these guys?

And that's why we're in Iraq?

What the hell is George W. smoking?

File this under:

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

George W. Bush:
Let Them Eat Cake Beignets!

If a picture paints a thousand words, what does this one tell you about George W. Vacation From His Vacation & John McCain?

"U.S. President George W. Bush (R) licks frosting off his fingers
after presenting Arizona Senator John McCain with a birthday cake
on the tarmac at the airport in Glendale, Arizona, August 29, 2005.
McCain was celebrating his 69th birthday. Later Bush attended
a townhall-style meeting to discuss Medicare
prescription-drug benefits for senior citizens."


New Orleans levee breaks
Katrina's death toll at 54

Tuesday, August 30, 2005; Posted: 6:22 a.m. EDT (10:22 GMT)

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (CNN) -- As the death toll from Hurricane Katrina reached at least 54, a levee holding back the waters of Lake Pontchartrain sustained a breach two blocks long overnight in the Lakefront area of New Orleans.

The breach triggered rapidly rising floodwaters in the city's downtown and prompted at least one hospital to evacuate patients by air.

The death toll was expected to climb from one of the most powerful hurricanes to hit the U.S. Gulf Coast in half a century. Fifty of the deaths occurred in one county in Mississippi, CNN confirmed.

OK. I know George W. read his prepared statement yesterday, typed in 16 pt font on his 3X5 notecard, before the hurricane reached landfall and before he continued his Hasty Retreat Tour away from the path of Hurricane Cindy Sheehan, but damn!

I'm also sure that George W. will do a fly over after all the screams die down and the bodies are no longer floating down the flooded streets.

Sometimes a picture paints a single word...


File this under:

Monday, August 29, 2005

Darts or Nipples?

Only Laura's fascist fundie designer knows for sure.

File this under:

Choose Wisely

Who Needs Harvard Law......

When there's Pat Robertson's Regent University?


Regent ***** Harvard

734 applicants ***** 6824 applicants
Minimum LSAT: 148-153 ***** Minimum LSAT: 167-173
Minimum GPA: 3.2 ***** Minimum GPA: 3.76 to 3.94
Tuition: $23,870 ***** Tuition: $29,500
Bible Study Required: YES ***** Bible Study Required: NO
Church Recommendation ***** Church Recommendation
YES                 Required: NO

Ask yourself these questions...

Whom would you choose to represent your cause in court?

Is the fascist fundie drive to control the bench beginning to make sense now?

Heavy sigh.

File this under:

How Dumb Are Bushbots?

Dumber than Texas dirt.

And that's pretty damned dumb.

Some of the Anti-Peace "protesters," recruited by a PR firm and bussed to Crawford by Hate Radio disc jockeys, were too dumb to understand the snarky slogans on some of their own side's signs, and they tore them up and chased the owners.

Now, that's dumb.

File this under:

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Today's Sermon:
Fear Of Death

The preacher asks in mystified frustration:
How can you be an atheist? Aren't you afraid of dying?
The lady responds:
Sure, dying frightens me a little, but that's the only thing!

" ... Men, believing in myths, will always fear something terrible, everlasting punishment as certain or probable ... Men base all these fears not on mature opinions, but on irrational fancies, so that they are more disturbed by fear of the unknown than by facing facts. Peace of mind lies in being delivered from all these fears. "

Thus Endeth Today's Sermon.

Go forth and celebrate the time you have and craft good memories for those you'll someday leave behind.

And stop being afraid.

I mean it, damn it!

File this under:

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Dingo Ate
Didn't Eat
My Baby!

Remember that movie?

What was it called?

You know, Meryl Streep was in it.

Dingo Ate My Baby!?

Actually, the title was A Cry In The Dark...

But that one line of dialogue is what people remember.

It's like that other film everyone remembers, The Pod People,

which was actually Invasion Of The Body Snatchers...

Anyway, a young woman now claims that she's the baby that the dingo, er, didn't eat.

Police reject woman's Azaria claims
From: AAP

August 26, 2005

NORTHERN Territory police have rejected a woman's claim that she is Azaria Chamberlain.
The woman walked into Alice Springs police station this week claiming to be the baby girl who disappeared from near Uluru 25 years ago.

Nine-week-old Azaria disappeared from a tent while her family was on a camping holiday at Uluru on August 17, 1980.

Her family have never wavered from their claim that a dingo took the baby.

Alice Springs police today confirmed they were investigating the woman's claim.

"The woman came into the police station on Wednesday and made a number of extraordinary claims, including that she was Azaria Chamberlain," a police spokeswoman said.

I guess they don't get CSI in Alice Springs.

Otherwise, this young woman would know that a simple DNA test would destroy her con job story.

I suppose it's possible that Aborigines found the baby and gave it to a white couple to raise.

Meanwhile, pigs are lined up on the runway, awaiting takeoff...

And Aborigines once again get the shaft.

File this under:

Friday, August 26, 2005

This Week's
Of The Bell Curve


That Piss Poor Excuse
For A News Channel

FOX News

Typical Fox News viewer

Are you ready for this? Fox News "Terror Analyst," John Loftus, announced that there was a terrorist living in Orange County, California.

Loftus reported the street address where the terrorist lives, and FOX News provided the satellite photos of the neighborhood, the street, and the house.

One problem, though. The alleged terrorist hasn't lived in the house for over 3 years.

And the people who live in that house are scared to death.

In what Fox News officials concede was a mistake, John Loftus, a former U.S. prosecutor, gave out the address Aug. 7, saying it was the home of a Middle Eastern man, Iyad K. Hilal, who was the leader of a terrorist group with ties to those responsible for the July 7 bombings in London.

Hilal, whom Loftus identified by name during the broadcast, moved out of the house about three years ago. But the consequences were immediate for the Voricks.

Satellite photos of the house and directions to the residence were posted online. The Voricks told police, who arranged for the content to be taken down. Someone even removed the street sign where the Voricks live to provide some protection.


The Voricks said they had made several unsuccessful attempts to contact Fox News and Loftus by telephone and e-mail. They want a public apology and correction.

Both have issued apologies — Fox in a one-line statement to the Los Angeles Times and Loftus in an e-mail to the family — after being contacted by the newspaper. The Voricks say they have yet to see or hear a correction.

"John Loftus has been reprimanded for his careless error, and we sincerely apologize to the family," said Fox spokeswoman Irena Brigante.

Loftus also apologized and told The Times last week that "mistakes happen."

"I'm terribly sorry about that. I had no idea. That was the best information we had at the time," he said.

Hm. Where have I heard that "That was the best information we had at the time" crap excuse?

Oh, yeah. From the Bush administration.

I hope the Vorick family hires a hell of a legal team and takes on FOX and John Loftus.

Hell, I'd even tune in to CNN or MSNBC for the play-by-play coverage of the trial.

You know, when random FOX viewers spray paint the word "Terrist" on your house, that you're gonna have to move.

FOX & Loftus should, at a minimum, foot the bill, damn it.

Truly heavy sigh.

File this under:

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Stop The Presses!

Sorry for the late post today! While tweaking the final copy of my weekly Blog Box column (See sidebar), I had to add an entire section on this revelation...

For Sale: Grassroots Bullshit

George W.’s handlers must really be freaking out Dick Cheney "big time." Why else would a prominent, RNC-connected, public relations firm pretend to be a grassroots organization (Move America Forward) protesting Cindy Sheehan's protest? Democratic Underground's Ninkasi gave the story its national legs, Keith Olbermann ran with it, and Crooks And Liars posted the video, of course. We all knew this was a scam; the words on their freeper signs were spelled correctly...

Note the vast numbers of Bush supporters.

From Ninkasi's original DU post:

When the MAF (Move America Forward) website first went up this (sic) take a look at who is was registered to:

The .com address was first registered using this information:

Russo Marsh & Rogers
770 L Street, #950
Sacramento, CA 95814

That’s right, this genuine act of patriotism is brought to you by the Republican public relations firm Russo Marsh and Rogers. The Move America Forward organization isn’t just based in the Bay Area, it’s based in the same offices as the Russo PR firm. Same receptionist answers calls for both organizations. Website was registered to the firm until they figured out that it wouldn’t look good if people knew that a PR firm was behind this ‘patriotic grassroots activist group.’ --snip--

Aside from bad politics, that’s just disgustingly loathsome behavior.

Ahem. Did you happen to notice that CNN already had film in the can of those 4 Pruett brothers serving in Iraq-- and aired it right after George W. "happened to meet with" their war-supportin,' Cindy Sheehan-hatin' mama?

Me, too. Hm. Surely, I'm not the only one who noticed the telltale stink of a Karen Hughes "Ain't America great?" story.

Anyway, read The Blog Box tomorrow, enter my George W. Bush "Noble Cause" Contest, and send me your story tips and comments.

File this under:

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Stop Calling
George W. Hitler!

I mean, really!

Just because George W. Vacation Boy's handlers have chosen a secluded resort in Idaho as a hideout for the next few days, and the media has ignored the obvious...

George W.'s
Tamarack Resort, Idaho

... It doesn't mean that we should go all Berchtesgaden on the Brownshirt administration...

Adolf's Eagle's Nest

Or does it?

And just because George W. Brush Clearer likes to pretend he's a man of the land...

... It doesn't mean that we should be alarmed by the obvious.

Or does it?

So stop calling George W. Hitler. Shop at Wal-Mart, organize a "Vote Republican" workshop at your church, and put one of those yellow ribbon "Support The Troops" stickers on your SUV!

And, whatever you do, ignore the ranting of a blogger with an MA in German!

I mean it, damn it!

File this under:

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Pat Robertson's
9 Commandments

Will Pat Robertson now petition for his 9 Commandments to be displayed prominently in public buildings?

Just asking.

File this under:

Pat Robertson Is
A Terrorist

I'm not kidding.

According to U.S. Anti-Terrorism Law Title 18, Section 2331...

(1) the term “international terrorism” means activities that—
(B) appear to be intended
(ii) to influence the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion; or
(iii) to affect the conduct of a government by mass destruction, assassination, or kidnapping; and
(C) occur primarily outside the territorial jurisdiction of the United States, or transcend national boundaries in terms of the means by which they are accomplished, the persons they appear intended to intimidate or coerce, or the locale in which their perpetrators operate or seek asylum;

Pat Robertson broadcasts worldwide.

Pat Robertson is a terrorist.

Will Abu Ghraib Gonzales do his duty and arrest Pat?

If not, why not?

Will the FCC yank Pat's license?

If not, why not?

File this under:

Calling All
"Patriotic" Republicans!

Get the checkbook!

The price of this "fine art" bronze bust of George W. McFlightsuit has been reduced for quick sale...

Bronze Bust Image of President Bush

Three years after September 11 we are offering this fine art bronze bust of President Bush entitled "Commander in Chief" to those who appreciate the course that President Bush has taken in the fight against terrorism. This 16" tall image is the most impressive fine art sculpture that you will ever see of our "Commander in Chief". It is now being offered at only $1,995 plus shipping. This is a great value for a work of this size and quality and it is cast in the USA.


The Ronald Reagan bust is also drastically reduced!

This is the most Extraordinary image of President Reagan on the market.
It is the highest quality fine art bronze casting available and is sure to
impress anyone who sees it.
Order it today ... you will not be disappointed.

Ask About the Special bonus price on the "Freedom's Watch" Eagle
if ordered along with purchase of President Reagan bust.

List Price: $ 3,300
Today's special price:

OK, Wingnuts!

Do your "patriotic" duty, damn it!

Buy these busts and display them proudly in your homes!

And demonstrate your "patriotic" ability to multi-task!

For the low, low price of $4,490.00 (plus shipping & handling), show your friends and neighbors your "patriotism," as well as your practical ability to multi-task: place these two works of "art" by the door to your garage and use them as Wal-Mart shopping list holders. Just cram your lists into the gaping mouths of your two favorite useful idiots, and you'll never again forget which Chinese sweatshop items you can't live without!

File this under:

Monday, August 22, 2005

Webster Wept.

When did "patriotic" become "pro-war?"

Let's consult Mr. Webster, shall we?

Main Entry: pa·tri·ot·ic
Pronunciation: "pA-trE-'ä-tik, chiefly British "pa-
Function: adjective
1 : inspired by patriotism
2 : befitting or characteristic of a patriot
- pa·tri·ot·i·cal·ly /-ti-k(&-)lE/ adverb


Let's try that again.

Main Entry: pa·tri·ot·ism
Pronunciation: 'pA-trE-&-"ti-z&m, chiefly British 'pa-
Function: noun
: love for or devotion to one's country

That's better.

Now, Associated Press, explain this editorial decision...

Patriotic Camp Springs Up to Counter Peace Mom's Anti-War Demonstration Near President's Ranch

By Angela K. Brown Associated Press Writer
Published: Aug 20, 2005

CRAWFORD, Texas (AP) - A patriotic camp with a "God Bless Our President!" banner sprung up downtown Saturday, countering the anti-war demonstration started by a fallen soldier's mother two weeks ago near President Bush's ranch.

If you're as pissed off about this piss poor attempt to backhand Cindy Sheehan and her supporters, tell the ASSociated Press how you feel:

File this under: PBU34

What Fresh hell Is This?

It's Dorothy Parker's birthday.

So what?

It's also my birthday.

Yes, I share my birthday with the goddess of grump.


I know there was something,
something pretty terrible, too.
Not just plain terrible.
This was fancy terrible;
this was terrible with raisins in it.
Ah, yes. I have it.
This is my birthday.

Dorothy Parker

Happy Birthday to us!

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Today's Sermon:
Blessed Be Saint Elvis!

Beatification and canonization have always been laborious and quite lengthy processes. I read recently, though, that the process is well under way on behalf of the late, great Otis Redding Pope John Paul II.

Which begs the question...

Why isn't Elvis a saint yet?

1. Jesus said "Love thy neighbor." Elvis said "Don't be cruel."
2. Jesus is the Lord's shepherd. Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.
3. Jesus was part of the Trinity. Elvis' first band was a trio.
4. Jesus walked on water. Elvis surfed (Blue Hawaii, 1965).
5. Jesus' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members. Elvis' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.
6. Jesus was resurrected. Elvis had the famous 1968 "Comeback" TV special and many posthumous mall sightings.
7. Jesus said "If a man thirst, let him come to me, and drink." (John 7:37). Elvis said "Drinks on me(Jail House Rock, 1957)."
8. Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights. Elvis also had irregular eating habits (eg, 5 banana split breakfast).
9. Jesus is a Capricorn (Dec 25). Elvis is a Capricorn (Jan8).
10. Matthew was a biographer of Jesus. Neil Matthews was a biographer of Elvis (A Golden Tribute).
11. "Jesus lightning...raiment snow white." (Matthew 28:3) Elvis wore snow white jumpsuits with lightning bolts.
12. Jesus lived in a state of grace in a near-eastern land. Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state.
13. Jesus' mother Mary was the immaculate conception. Elvis' wife Priscilla went to Immaculate Conception H.S.
14. People called Jesus a "...glutton and a drunk." (Luke 7:34) People called Elvis " overweight druggie..."

15. Jesus died for us. Young girls would 'die for' Elvis.
16. Jesus was born in humble surroundings. Elvis was born in Mississippi.
17. Even today Jesus has a cult following. Even today Elvis has a cult following.
18. Jesus was called "King of Israel.." (John 12:13) Elvis was called "King of Rock n' Roll."


Go forth and light a candle for Elvis today.

When nonbelievers scoff and throw stones at you, verily you shall respond:

"And I turned to see the voice that spake with me. And being turned, I saw seven golden records; and in the midst of the seven golden records one like unto the Son of Zeke, clothed with a jumpsuit down to the foot, and about the paunch with rhinestones. His hairs were black like vinyl, as black as Brylcreem; and his eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples, how merry...
"Who is this King of Rock-n-Roll? The Lord of Hostess, he is the King of Rock-n-Roll. Shaboom.'' LINK

If that's not enough to pacify the naysayers, add:

And Elvis so loved the world that he died, fat and bloated, in a bathroom.
He very pointedly did not rise from the dead three days later, but was nonetheless seen across the world by various and sundry housewives.
Create your own Ain't Nuthin' Butta Hound-Dogmas, but be sure to stay out of the Sacred Heartbreak Hotel, where damned souls twinkle like stars in the night, each a Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love.
"Return, we beseech the, O Lord of Hostess: look down from Heaven, and behold, and visit this mall...''

If that doesn't work...


I mean it, damn it!

File this under:

Saturday, August 20, 2005

The George W. Bush
"Noble Cause" Contest

Here's the deal, Kids...

Your scrivener, along with everyone else on the planet with half a brain, is still waiting for George W. Noble Cause to define that little speechwriter-coined reason for his death and destruction misadventure in Iraq.

Yet, no one-- and I mean NO ONE-- from the BushCo administration has even attempted to define the term "Noble Cause."

Yes, there will be prizes!

Send me your snide, snarky, and/or sincere definitions of George W.'s "Noble Cause" by August 28th, and I'll announce the winners on Wednesday, August 31st.

"Noble Cause" Contest Rules:

Text and/or graphics (Think Tee Shirt Design!) accepted

No larger than 8" X 10"

Original work only (no copyrighted content)

No blatant obscenities (I know! I know! This rule's a bitch!)

Email designs (MS Word attachments are OK) with "Noble Cause Contest" in subject line by August 28th (Email link is in the sidebar)

Enter each design/definition separately (No limit on entries)

Winners will be notified by email and announced on this blog Wednesday, August 31st

Get busy, Kids! Between now and August 28th, I'll post possible prizes you could win. And yes, there could be cash involved.

File this under:

Friday, August 19, 2005

The Best Of The Best

Normally, I don't post comments I get on individual blog posts, but sometimes the authors are just too damned clever to keep all to myself!

The best of this week's comments...

From Bartleby:

I'm repeating, again and again:

I WILL be strong.

I will be honest.

I will NOT steal the name "George W. Vacation Boy" from this blog.

Very, very good! My congratulations to you for thinking that one up. Highly apt.

(I'm also trying very hard to resist stealing the Poor Man's name for Bush's vacation paradise: the "Neverland Ranch.")

Good blog.

Thanks, Bartleby! I've given George W. Fill-In-The-Blank many, many different surnames over the past year. Check the post titles in my archives.

From Kat:

Hey Delilah,

You gotta be down with the Chickster. True, it's scary as hell that a man could devote so much of his life to scrawling hundreds of hateful mini-comics and distributing them worldwide.

But I like to think that Chick-tracts (or Chicktrocities, as they're sometimes known) have done a great job of turning people away from that blood-thirsty old-time religion. I suspect Jack has converted more people to atheism than Christism.

For decades, JC (hey, check the initials!) has been covering the hard topics that the godless media won't touch - the 6000 year-old earth; how to intellectually beat down your liberal/satanist/evolutionist school teachers with easy questions that blow Darwin out of the water; how virtually everyone is going to hell, especially those who seem to live a virtuous (but Jebus-free) life - every nutjob topic that's creeping out from under rocks and into the mainstream right now has been the subject of a Chick-tract (or a dozen).

I think my favourite has to be the near-wordless (the only text consists of "Pssst", "Noooo!" and "It's AIDS") big-panel strip about the 12 year-old kid skipping to school who is accosted by a joint-wielding satanist in an alley ("Pssst!"). Within a few panels, he's shooting up, then arrested, then sodomised in jail ("Noooo!"), then diagnosed with AIDS (you get the picture), and finally expiring on his death bed. I can't remember if he manages to accept Jack Chick as his personal lordnsaviour before the end. He may have ended up roasting for all eternity as well, I'm not sure.
Now I have to look it up. I'll try to post a link.

Thanks for a stonking blog (and Blogbox), incidentally.

"Chicktrocities?" Hilarious! OK, Kat. If you don't already blog, you should! And thanks for the "Chick Shtick" info. I'm sure I'll be revisiting Jack Dick Chick in future Sunday sermons.

I wish you all a happy weekend.

Just remember...

Don't park next to serial killer vans.

This Week's
Of The Bell Curve


The Self-Righteous Drug Addict
I love To hate

"It doesn't matter what Cindy Sheehan's story is.
She is protesting Bush."


On August 15th, Jeff/Rush said:

LIMBAUGH: I mean, Cindy Sheehan is just Bill Burkett. Her story is nothing more than forged documents. There's nothing about it that's real, including the mainstream media's glomming onto it. It's not real. It's nothing more than an attempt. It's the latest effort made by the coordinated left.

On August 17th, Jeff/Rush said:

LIMBAUGH: Let me take a brief time out here to address something. I have been the recipient of a pretty decent amount of hate mail, far, far, far more hate mail than I usually get. Just this morning -- and I don't really get a whole lot of hate mail. And most of it's funny as it can be. But apparently there is something that is out there misreporting what I have said. And of course, these people are reading that rather than listening to this program and choosing to believe it.

Apparently, what's out there is that I said that Cindy Sheehan is no different than Bill Burkett, that Bill Burkett lied and Cindy Sheehan lied. They're actually out there, people saying that I am accusing Cindy Sheehan of making up the fact that she had a son and making up the fact that her son died in Iraq. And of course, I've never said this. That I, early on in this, if you wanna go back -- and we'll post the archives on my website tonight just to illustrate this. I'm the one that actually expressed a little compassion for her. And I said I don't really wanna talk too much about her, particularly because she's lost a son here. And that can never be easy. And I don't care -- there are all kinds of different people that have all kinds of different reactions to this. But losing a child is the absolute worst thing that can happen to an adult. There's nothing that rivals it, in my estimation.

So the idea that I think that she's making it all up is just another sign of the desperation of the people on the left who love to take us all out of context to try to get their side riled up. What I said was that the media looks at her the same way they look at Bill Burkett, as an opportunity. It didn't matter whether Burkett was telling the truth or not, and it doesn't matter what the specifics of Cindy Sheehan's case are. She is protesting Bush, Burkett hated Bush. That's why they're attractive to the media, and that's why the media is willing to exploit her.

Wait! There's More!

Oxycontin's a hell of a thing, ain't it, Jeff/Rush?

Why isn't Mr. Anal Cyst in prison yet?

I guess his listeners don't see any difference between losing their car keys and losing a son in combat.

Heaviest of sighs imaginable.

File this under:

Thursday, August 18, 2005

If the medium is the message...

What the Johnny Appleseed are these people trying to say?

Somebody thought this up...

And it wasn't Martha Stewart.

Oh, well.

Chacun à son goût.

File this under:

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Father, Son,
And The Village People

If this is "macho," it's a world gone mad, folks!

Where did George W. learn to throw like that?

Never mind.

I'm double-dog sure that these guys could throw a damned baseball a hell of a lot better than the Bush Boys...

And I'm triple-dog sure that The Village People are "macho" enough to sympathize with a grieving mother in a ditch down the road.

Truly heavy sigh.

File this under:

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Mowing Down Crosses
For George W. Vacation Boy?

Last night in Crawford, a man stopped his pickup truck down the road from Camp Casey (where Cindy Sheehan and many others are waiting for George W. Bush to define the term "noble cause"), attached a bar to the truck's undercarriage, and proceeded to mow down the white crosses lining the ditch, each of which represents a fallen soldier.

If the medium is, indeed, the message...

What in the holy hell was this wingnut pickup truck driver trying to say?

"Crosses are bad?"

"Don't honor our war dead?"

"I hate Jesus?"

"George W. Bush's vacation is more important than fallen soldiers?"

"Don't you dare question W?"

I'm at a loss here, folks.

If this stunt was designed to intimidate a grieving mother...

This is a hate crime. Pure and simple.

The sheriff arrested the cross destroyer, but will he be charged appropriately?

I have to cling to the hope that justice is possible...

Otherwise, what the fuck are we the people all about?

Heaviest of sighs.

File this under:

Monday, August 15, 2005

How Low Can Will They Go?

And I'm not talking about Chubby Checker's limbo...

Consider this...

There is no doubt that the neo-conservative leadership is in crisis:

1. The war in Iraq is all but lost and falling into Iranian hands

2. The economy'’s housing bubble is ready to pop

3. Oil is at an all-time high, with winter approaching

4. A grand jury appears poised to zero in on the White House

5. The president's approval rating is at historic lows

6. The Downing Street memos, as well as myriad other sources of evidence are slowly revealing the awful truth behind the lies and high crimes of this administration

And while it appears that this administration is politically ill, we must all force ourselves to consider the possibility that another "catalyzing event"” might be just the medicine that the neo-conservative doctors are ordering up.

I'm not even talking about this kind of limbo...

I'm talking about BushCo's current need for an earthly, wag-the-dog, political limbo...

Where any present or future judgment is indefinitely suspended.

Apocalypse soon?

File this under:

I, for one, am prepared to eat my tinfoil Stetson if another 9/11-type "limbo" (even on a smaller scale) doesn't come to pass before we run those BushCo yahoos out of power.

Conserving Compassion:
"We Don't Care!"

It was bound to happen, but I'm surprised that it took this long.

Rightwing whackos, led by a rightwing wacko disc jockey who likes to dress up in uniform (even though he never served a day in any branch of anyone's military), descended on Crawford, Texas, to protest (loudly) the protest (silent) of a grieving mother-- who stands in a ditch waiting patiently for George W. Vacation Boy to define his "noble cause" in Iraq.

While Cindy Sheehan's supporters sang "God bless America," rightwing whacko disc jockey, Mike Gallagher, raised his bullhorn and led his "army" in the following chant:


I understand that Gallagher has 4 children of military service age.

Not one of them plans to fight for George W.'s "noble cause."

I wonder if they're proud of their papa's fake uniform...

I also wonder if they're proud of their papa's "We don't care" chant, directed at the mother of a fallen soldier.

And why did they stay such a short time?

Like George W., did they have to "go on with their lives?"


Just plain pitiful.

File this under:

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Today's Sermon:
Catholics Aren't Christian?

I've been hearing this from evangifundies for decades, but none was willing to (or able to) explain this "Catholics aren't Christian" deal to me.

Finally, I followed a link to a website,, where I didn't find Jesus, but...

I found Chick!

From the Biography of Jack Chick...

From early childhood, it was obvious that Jack Chick had an ability to draw. He even failed the first grade because he was so busy drawing airplanes in battle. As he grew, Jack was constantly drawing, and honing skills that God would later use in a great way.

While in high school, none of the Christians would have anything to do with him because of his bad language. They all agreed not to witness to him, convinced that he was the last guy on earth who would ever accept Jesus Christ.

To make a long story short, Jack Chick found Jesus, used his drawing skills to make these little multi-fold "Come to Jesus" things, and has made a living selling them for the last 40 years.

Evidently, people buy sets of these "Chick Tracts" and either hand them out or leave them where Satan's Most Wanted can find them: restrooms, grocery store carts, and waiting rooms...

Regular readers of this blog know that I'm not exactly a fan of organized religion (because of its institutional ability to quash our inherent quest for enlightenment through pure research), but even I have to marvel at a movement based on the premise that Catholics aren't Christian.

Whatever happened to...?

"Upon this rock I will build my church."

And just who, Jack, is manning your version of the Pearly Gates?


Go forth today and ponder the ability of man to rationalize his complete denial of the parent corporation by voicing his complete acceptance of one of its many subsidiaries.

And be sure to ask these "Chick Christians" one question: Who's minding the celestial store?

I mean it, damn it!

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Saturday, August 13, 2005

President Cheney?

That's the first thing that came to mind when I read this CBS story...

FAA Admits Close Call For Presidential Helicopters

Wrong Turn Put Choppers In commercial Jetliner's Path

Jim Tilmon

(CBS) CHICAGO A CBS 2 exclusive has lead to an admission from the FAA that two presidential helicopters were in the wrong place at the wrong time during President Bush'’s visit to Chicago earlier this week.

The close call put the presidential helicopters in the path of American Airlines Flight 730 from Salt Lake City, set to land at O'’Hare Airport Wednesday afternoon with a full load of 136 passengers. --snip--

The FAA says since there was no legal loss of separation, this incident is not likely to be investigated. LINK

George W. is a walking (when not falling down and scraping something) nightmare...

But the possibility of "President Cheney" is even more frightening.

File this under:

Friday, August 12, 2005

Driveby Snubbing

The latest from Camp Casey (the 3' wide strip of fire ant infested ditch), down the road from George W. Coward's summer residence...

t r u t h o u t | One Mother's Stand
By Scott Galindez

Friday 12 August 2005
11:30 AM

Bush's motorcade went directly past us at 11:15, the crowd chanted peacefully.

Heavy sigh.

This Week's
Backside Of The Bell Curve


Cable TV's
Modern Day Veruka Salt

"I'm a big fan of the bombing and murder of peaceniks!"

Normally, I would ignore anything Tucker Carlson says.

But, he's said this twice...

In his June 22 and July 15 shows of "The Situation with Tucker Carlson," the bow-tied conservative praised French agents' July 10, 1985 attack on Greenpeace's "Rainbow Warrior," in New Zealand's Auckland Harbor, according to transcripts on MSNBC's Web site.

Carlson said he was "objectively pro-France. You know, France blew up the Rainbow Warrior, that Greenpeace ship in Auckland Harbor in the '80s. ... It won me over." At another point, Carlson called the mining of the ship "a bold and good thing to do."

MSNBC spokesman Jeremy Gaines said Carlson's opinions are not those of the cable channel. Carlson could not be reached to comment directly.

The Greenpeace Ship 'Rainbow Warrior,'
which sank in the Auckland harbor on July 10,
after two explosions on board.

"Terrorists do not need any further encouragement to commit their horrific acts," John Passacantando, Greenpeace USA's executive director, wrote to the FCC. "This violent act against the Rainbow Warrior did not just destroy property. It took the life of Fernando Pereira, the ship's photographer, who drowned below deck, leaving behind two young children." LINK

I never really bought the network-created "Margaret Carlson on the left & Tucker Carlson on the right" crap. Until then, Tucker Carlson wasn't a rabid rightwinger.

But he accepted the role, which he continues to play, because he makes money doing it.

Somewhere along the way, Tucker's rightwingnut persona transcended his ability to communicate any sense of compassion for anyone politically left of Bob Novak.

Tucker Carlson is not 8 years old anymore.

Without the magic of make up and carefully filtered lighting, his smarmy "cuteness" would look downright grotesque.

Tucker's on his way out (he's been replaced by that freak-voiced Rita Cosby in prime time), and his "new" 11 pm show has produced truly sucky ratings.

No wonder he's becoming the brat boy of cable "news" asshattery: Tucker will do anything to boost his pitiful ratings.

I look forward to the day when 65 year old Tucker Carlson still sports that smarmy smirk and wonders why people laugh in his Max Factored / Dorian Gray face.

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Don't forget to read The Blog Box today! Click the link in the sidebar for this week's blog roundup!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Who'll Be Arrested First?

This woman?

Cindy Sheehan

Or This Man?

Osama bin Laden

Will Pitt is blogging in real time from a ditch a few miles from George W.'s pig farm.

Refresh the page periodically for Will's frequent updates. Right now, the Health Dept. is looking for some reason to make the grieving mother abandon her quest to ask George W. Coward: "What is this noble cause you claim my son died for?"

Meanwhile, the crowds just keep arriving.

File this under:

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

BushCo Logic:
Sack A General, Defend Rove

By now, everyone who reads knows that George W. Bush won't fire national security secrets leaker, Karl Rove, unless he's indicted, convicted, and exhausts all appeals options.

By that time, barring some ridiculous institution of martial rule that leaves the Crawford Coward cowering inside the White House (like some American Saddam), Rove's treasonous acts will no longer be an issue.

Like running out the clock in a sportsball game.

However, BushCo has fired a 4 star general, who is merely being investigated for sexual misconduct. Also, they planned to replace him with a 3 star underling, whose senate 4-star confirmation hasn't even been scheduled. For now, the good general is being replaced by his deputy.

I have no idea what the general did (or if he did anything at all illegal), but this bizarre turn of events leaves a nasty lingering BushCo odor.

Army Sacks Senior General for Misconduct

By ROBERT BURNS, AP Military Writer Tue Aug 9,10:55 PM ET

WASHINGTON - In an extraordinary move, the Army sacked a four-star general who was the subject of a Defense Department investigation into alleged sexual misconduct, officials said Tuesday.

Gen. Kevin P. Byrnes, commander of Army Training and Doctrine Command, was approaching retirement when the decision to relieve him of duty was made by the Army chief of staff, Gen. Peter Schoomaker.

The Army announced no specific allegation against Byrnes, but a senior official said it involved unspecified sexual misconduct. The official spoke only on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the allegation.

Disciplinary action against officers is not rare, but it is extremely unusual in the case of a four-star Army general.

Usually, the military "encourages" you to retire in these situations, thereby securing your pension, benefits, and honor.

Not this guy.

He's either so guilty of such depravity that BushCo is preempting a 4-star level scandal...

Or he's spoken out against George W. Chickenhawk and, as luck would have it, he's flirted with a female aide or cheated on his wife. (Insert your supposition here.)

This is truly weird, even for BushCo.

Until you google the guy who fired him.

Rumsfeld's New Man
The latest move to radically remake the Army.
By Fred Kaplan
Updated Tuesday, June 10, 2003, at 4:04 PM PT

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld's reputed choice to be the new Army chief of staff—retired Gen. Peter J. Schoomaker—may be his most intriguing appointment to date, and confirms beyond any doubt Rummy's determination to foment a radical restructuring of the Army.

The first unusual thing about Schoomaker—and I should caution here that it has not yet been confirmed whether he'll take the job—is that he is a retired general. He left the military three years ago. Usually, chiefs of staff are named from the ranks of active-duty generals. LINK

One has to wonder if Gen. Kevin P. Byrnes dared oppose Rumsferatu.

File this under:

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Caesar Nixon George W.
Can Do No Wrong

In his final days in office, while facing inevitable impeachment, conviction, and prosecution, Richard M. Nixon had planned to use the US Marines to secure Washington DC for "reasons of national security" and institute martial rule.

How do I know this?

My father-in-law was an Air Force squadron leader at the time, and he was ordered to stand "on high alert" for a possible move against the president.

Fortunately for us, there were more true patriots in the US Military than there were Nixon toadies.

In 1977, Nixon "explained" to David Frost that he, like Abraham Lincoln, had the power to go beyond the US Constitution "in times of war."

Frost responded...

FROST: But there was no comparison was there, between the situation you faced and the situation Lincoln faced, for instance?

NIXON: This nation was torn apart in an ideological way by the war in Vietnam, as much as the Civil War tore apart the nation when Lincoln was president. Now it's true that we didn't have the North and the South?

FROST: But when you said, as you said when we were talking about the Huston Plan, you know, "If the president orders it, that makes it legal", as it were: Is the president in that sense? is there anything in the Constitution or the Bill of Rights that suggests the president is that far of a sovereign, that far above the law?

NIXON: No, there isn't. There's nothing specific that the Constitution contemplates in that respect. I haven't read every word, every jot and every title, but I do know this:
That it has been, however, argued that as far as a president is concerned, that in war time, a president does have certain extraordinary powers which would make acts that would otherwise be unlawful, lawful if undertaken for the purpose of preserving the nation and the Constitution, which is essential for the rights we're all talking about. LINK

During that interview, Nixon also said...

NIXON: Yes, and the dividing line and, just so that one does not get the impression, that a president can run amok in this country and get away with it, we have to have in mind that a president has to come up before the electorate.


Where have I heard that recently?

Oh, yeah. George W. Vacation is obviously channeling the ghost of Tricky Dick. How often have you heard him (or one of his flying monkeys) compare the war on terror to WWII lately?

And then there's this...

Bush Says Election Ratified Iraq Policy
No U.S. Troop Withdrawal Date Is Set

By Jim VandeHei and Michael A. Fletcher
Washington Post Staff Writers
Sunday, January 16, 2005; Page A01

President Bush said the public's decision to reelect him was a ratification of his approach toward Iraq and that there was no reason to hold any administration officials accountable for mistakes or misjudgments in prewar planning or managing the violent aftermath.

"We had an accountability moment, and that's called the 2004 elections," Bush said in an interview with The Washington Post. "The American people listened to different assessments made about what was taking place in Iraq, and they looked at the two candidates, and chose me." LINK

Nixon would be proud of George W. Vacation.

George W. has managed to obliterate the bright line between what Lincoln did during The Civil Freakin' War (when the courts were suspended) and what Nixon only dreamed of doing...

War Plans Drafted To Counter Terror Attacks in U.S.
Domestic Effort Is Big Shift for Military

By Bradley Graham

COLORADO SPRINGS -- The U.S. military has devised its first-ever war plans for guarding against and responding to terrorist attacks in the United States, envisioning 15 potential crisis scenarios and anticipating several simultaneous strikes around the country, according to officers who drafted the plans.

The classified plans, developed here at Northern Command headquarters, outline a variety of possible roles for quick-reaction forces estimated at as many as 3,000 ground troops per attack, a number that could easily grow depending on the extent of the damage and the abilities of civilian response teams.

The possible scenarios range from "low end," relatively modest crowd-control missions to "high-end," full-scale disaster management after catastrophic attacks such as the release of a deadly biological agent or the explosion of a radiological device, several officers said. --snip--

Military exercises code-named Vital Archer, which involve troops in lead roles, are shrouded in secrecy. --snip--

Civil liberties groups have warned that the military's expanded involvement in homeland defense could bump up against the Posse Comitatus Act of 1878, which restricts the use of troops in domestic law enforcement. But Pentagon authorities have told Congress they see no need to change the law.

According to military lawyers here, the dispatch of ground troops would most likely be justified on the basis of the president's authority under Article 2 of the Constitution to serve as commander in chief and protect the nation. The Posse Comitatus Act exempts actions authorized by the Constitution. --snip--

The command's sensitivity to legal issues, Gereski said, is reflected in the unusually large number of lawyers on staff here -- 14 compared with 10 or fewer at other commands. One lawyer serves full time at the command's Combined Intelligence and Fusion Center, which joins military analysts with law enforcement and counterintelligence specialists from such civilian agencies as the FBI, the CIA and the Secret Service.

Exactly what Nixon wanted.

Feel safer, America?

The US Supreme Court promptly (and correctly) ruled in 1866...

Martial rule can never exist where the courts are open, and in the proper and unobstructed exercise of their jurisdiction. It is also confined to the locality of actual war. The suspension of the privilege of the writ of habeas corpus does not suspend the writ itself. The writ issues as a matter of course; and on return made to it the court decides whether the party applying is denied the right of proceeding any further with it." LINK

When Cicero said, "Inter arma silent leges" (In times of war, the law is silent), he was actually employing sarcasm: "Caesar can do no wrong."

We all know what happened to Caesar.

And Nixon.

I, for one, will be standing in front of the first tank that rolls down an American street if/when George W. Bush suspends the US Constitution and institutes martial rule.

And I don't think I'll be alone.

File this under:

Monday, August 08, 2005

The National Security Threat Game

Someone has to explain this one to me.

Cindy Sheehan is waiting patiently for George W. Coward to come out of his Crawford, TX, hole and answer a simple question: What is this "noble cause" you claim my son died for in Iraq?"

A woman with a candle and a photo of her dead son.

5 miles away from the pResidential pig farm in the middle of BFE Texas.

Blistering August heat.

Now we learn that Cindy will be arrested this coming Thursday...

Because she'll be considered a threat to national security.

Future tense.

She's not a threat today.

But she'll be a threat 3 days from now?

Like I said, someone has to explain this one to me.

This is the saddest story I've ever blogged.

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